Overwhelmed Teenager

Updated on March 05, 2010
A.L. asks from Utica, MI
8 answers

My 15 year old teenager has some emotional issues and austism but he is in regular classes at a regular middle school with some special education accomadations and does OK. I have to keep up on him when it comes to making sure he is getting his homework done because he has issues focusing at home on homework so he obsesses about getting it done at school and he usually does. His grades in certain subjects tend to fall when he has major stuff to do in other classes then up and down between two major subjects (Math/English). Part of it is his focusing issues, he tends to overly focus on something then every thing else suffers, and this is in life in general too not just in school. I was hoping other mothers might have a suggstion about keeping him more at an even keel, making him a more rounded thinking person so that he can cope with the pressures of school but also in prepreation for life. Keep in mind he is already on medication for ADHD, EI, & Anxiety, due to the austism and other behavioral issues. He also reguarly attends counseling in a group setting and I have put in a call for him to meet with his individual counsler in the next week.

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So What Happened?

Being this child's mother is a continuos up & down, rading the signs and doing the changes to adjust to his changes as he grows. We have changed couselors, in turn is changing his psychartrist to re-evaluate his meds. Also I spoke with his teachers again and made him stay after for extra homework time until his math grade imporved. His is being a bit more aurgumentive these days and I am racking it up to being normal teenage stuff but will notify the new couselor too. Just got to keep making sure all his ducks stay in a row, no rest for mom, but then again isn't that the life of being a parent.

More Answers

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

Keep the course load light so that he won't feel overwhelmed. Plan on summer school. For example if he takes chemistry in summer school that will be a huge weight off the school year and he can take something for fun that won't require much out of school work to fill that spot during the school year. Don't over load him. Also, there are specific vitamins that may be able to help your son. I just read a testimonial from a woman that was able to improve her sons grades and ADD just through supplementation. Let me know if I can pass any of that along.

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C.J.

answers from Lansing on

A.,

Have you looked at this website: www.flylady.net There is a student control journal that your son might be able to use. She recommends using a timer in 5, 10, or 15 minute increments to focus on tasks, but also use a daily routine to accomplish daily tasks. The timer may also help him to focus on one thing at a time, but also help him to move on to another subject and focus on that for another 15 minutes. He may have to work in the round, for example: 15 minutes on math, 15 minutes on english, 15 minutes on government, 15 minute break. Then, back to the round again.

What is great about the system is you tailor it to fit his needs and strengths. Here is the student control journal link:
http://www.flylady.net/images/student_CJ.pdf

Good luck and I hope you find something that will work for your son!

C..

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S.S.

answers from Detroit on

You'll be happy to hear that he sounds like every other teenager that I know! I don't know if there is a cure for that!

Hang in there.

S.

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Y.S.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Have you tried some type of extracurricular activity that motivates him (sports, swimming, etc).

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L.A.

answers from Detroit on

There are good organizations and new research in this field on keeping these children very structured. Diet, medication and good behavior modification is the key to success. As he has multiple problems you need to get in touch with the right professionals These are not questions to be answered by lay people.Be sure he doesn't get over medicated.Go to web M.D and sites like Cleveland Clinic for reliable research. God Bless. Support groups for yourself too...

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

I know the judson center in Royal oak has special clinic from chicago called the pfeifer clinic(I think) that comes in 2 or 3 times a year to test kids and adults with autism, ADD , ADHD and other issues. They help parents with supplementation based on what meds and other things the parents are doing . I have had several patients take their kids there and they make everything customized for your child based on chemistry and GI absorption etc... the parents have amazing turn around with the kids. You can call the judson center , then call the pfeifer center too. Good luck.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm not an expert so....

This partly sounds like just a boy thing. Guys are NOT multi-taskers. They can not think of more than one thing at a time. Given that he has ADHD, is brain is already skipping around. The key is to get him to make use of his skipping around.

For the guys that I have worked with is that you have to show them how to take a large task and break it down in to simple, quick pieces.

Like writing a paper, outlines are key. If the teacher tells you to write a paper about french fries, my son is going to just start writing things down. What he should do is first write down what he knows about french fries in notes, and then organize them into something that makes sense.

Same with your son. Break up his time. Teach him to focus on something for 30m at a time. Take a break and then either change subject and come back or pick back up where he left off. If a paper is going to take 3 hours, and math home work is going to take 1 hour. Start on the paper. after 30m, change to math, after 30m change back to the paper, after 30m back to math. math is done. change back to the paper...paper is half done.

Good luck,
M.

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L.A.

answers from Detroit on

One of the symptoms of ADHD is the ability to hyperfocus (concentrate closely at one thing). You might ask him to make a checklist of everything that he needs to get done. My ADHD son likes checklists and crossing off his accomplishments. Sounds like you are doing a great job in meeting his needs with counselling. I know how difficult it can be. One of the most important things we can do as a mom is to stay even-keeled ourselves. Breathe, and stay focused on him and with him. Keep up the good work!

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