Over Night Prom Party on the Beach

hahaha, oh yeah, I remember my prom after-party and I even came home! I think 8kidsdad summed it up nicely w/ no way, no how, not at all :)

Unequivacably, NO.

Sorry you're going through this. And you SHOULD be talking to all the parents about this whole scenario. Perhaps they'll think better of it.

Dawn

No.....he'll be 18 soon enough, then he can make his own BAD decisions. Until then you and dad make the big ones. What do you think teens will be doing over night after their prom?

NO WAY, NO HOW, NOT AT ALL!

It doesn't take a genius to figure someone is going to bring booze and the beach is a perfect place for skinny dipping and the house will be the perfect place for unprotected sex. AND the hormones will be fully at their maximum. At the minimum, swimming drunk is a road map to tragedy.

I bet "all the other parents" are being told none of the parents have a problem with it either. Yeah Right ! ! !

If there were 16 kids there should be at least 5 or 6 chaperones. The chaperones should cook or BBQ and provide good things for the kids to do.

Good luck to you and yours.

Do you want to become a grandmother? If not, I wouldn't let him go.

When my kids graduated from Klein High, they went down to Galveston. However, there were several chaperons. For our daughters, the dads were the chaperons no Moms. My husband was one of the "guards" and the kids had a blast. The dads grilled out for them and then cooked breakfast in the morning.

When our son graduated, it was a different house but there were several adult chaperons. We had a huge meeting with all the parents prior to prom to go over all the logistics for photos, clothes changing and when they were leaving for the beach and who was bringing what. Do you have the names of the others? If so, see if you can contact them and ask about this party. Chances are they many not know or they may think it is a chaperoned event. Knowledge is power!!!!

We would not have permitted our kids to go to an all night party without supervison. No way!!!

HELLLLL NO!!!!!! You know what will happen right, you aren't completely ignorant, I know that for a fact! I'd sit your son down explain your reasons on why you feel it's not a good thing. I say let him go, have fun, but give him a curfew. Also, I'd let him know you'll have a breathalizer waiting for him when he gets home along with a drug test so no funny business (think he'd buy it?? :)) Also, threaten him with a pair of rusty hedge clippers if a girl shows up pregnant:)

Um NO.

Mine is 15, and I know deep in my soul that I would not let him do this in 2 years. As I always tell him - nothing good ever happens between midnight and 3am. JMHO

Teens, hormones, no supervision,peer pressure, and gosh knows what else - so not a good idea - no matter how much you trust your son.

I'd say no. Kids think they can do whatever when unsupervised, no matter how "good" they are or how well they have been raised. And if he's under peer pressure from his girlfriend and friends now don't delude yourself that he wouldn't be at the party. Until he's 18 you're responsible for him, go with your gut in making your decision. If you decide against him going he may hate you for it now, but I daresay in the years to come he would respect you for it.

Side note ~ my 17 year old cousin was raped at the unsupervised prom party she attended, right outside the house as she went to her car for something. She knew the guy, and she was treated as if she was the one who did him harm by his family and their "friends" afterwards. Parents at the party might have alleviated what happened to her from happening, we'll never know.

Remember, you're the parent, not his friend. He might not like your rules and restrictions now, but that's ok. You aren't here to please him. You're here to teach and protect him. I don't see how this ok at all and how any other parent is going along with this!

No way! I'd feel exactly as you do, and would also have him come home at a curfew if there are no chaperones.

What kills me about these "parties" is that whoever has rented that house (parents of some of the kids I'm assuming) are personally liable for anyone in that house who is underage and drunk. Their not being there, is only going to add to the problems, and there will be problems. Things like this usually never go without a hitch in some way, shape or form. I've seen it in my area with all of the local beaches. Prom nights = DUI's, underage arrests for public drunkenness and parents being booked for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Not a fun night in my opinion...

For a prom after party the best decision is to get there and stay there.

We had my daughter's prom after party four years ago. She hired a cop to sit on our driveway, drunks could come in, drunks could not leave.

In my opinion the biggest danger to prom parties is drinking and driving, you won't have that problem on the beach.

I would wonder what your rules were if a party at your house is not considered cool. I was home, I came out every now and then to make sure everything was fine, heck we had a cop on our driveway!

I know people think of sex and babies but really kids can have sex whenever the want. Keeping them celibate for one night isn't going to make a big difference. Believe it or not without any intervention no one tried to have sex at our party. It just isn't cool, what they did was drank, talked about school and how much they would miss each other, talked about their colleges, passed out all over the place.

Did I mention we had a cop on the driveway, car and all!

No way. Even the best kids make bad decisions when faced with peer pressure and raging hormones! Like 8kidsdad said, I bet all the other parents are being told that everyone else's parents are okay with it.

Who's house is it anyway? I know I would NEVER give up my home to a bunch of unsupervised teens! That's the first clue that something is not right here!

Let him go, but give him a curfew and do buy the breathalyzer and the drug test kit and make sure he sees them before he leaves so there is no doubt in his mind what's happening when he gets home!

FOR-GET. IT.

NO WAY.

Why is there not going to be any adult supervision? Who is signing/paying for this beach house party? Or is it someone's personal home that the parents are leaving for the night? There is absolutely nothing good that will come of this. I can guarantee you there will be alcohol there (and maybe more than just alcohol) and there will be plenty of privacy (bedrooms) for any couples that want to "be alone" together. And then there is the beach itself---wonder how many dares there will be to go skinny dipping? Or how long it will take them to decide to start a bonfire?

There is WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much that can go wrong... and the odds are something will go wrong. The questions you have to answer are 1) How bad might that one thing be ?(if it is only ONE thing that goes wrong); and
2) Is that thing something that you want your son involved in?

I say no way, no how.

If he wants to party early and then call YOU to pick him up at some point----I'd maybe consider that. But no way would I let mine stay overnight in the circumstances you describe. Neither would I want him driving home after partying in such circumstances.....

is this his prom? if so then id let him go. prom night is special and after parties are part of it.

I am amazed at how naive so many parents are.
Will every kid get drunk, do drugs and have sex when given the chance?
No.
Will many?
Yes.
I was 17 in 1985 when I went to my Junior Prom. I was the ONLY one of my friends who was still a virgin.
A group of us spent the night on the beach. I made out with my date and we had some wine coolers. Nobody had sex that night, probably because we were all together out in the open, and most importantly, nobody drove.
I'm not saying to let your son go or not let your son go, you know him and (hopefully) his friends better than we do. I'm just saying it's not a black or white issue.
Guess what people? If your 17-18 year old wants to party and have sex, they will do it, with or without your permission, and regardless of whether it's prom. It's nothing new, it's been going on since time began. Even the good Christian kids are guilty of it. I'm not saying I condone it, or approve of it, but it is REALITY.

I am only ok with adult supervision. My 17 yr old daughter is gearing up for prom.

The group she went to homecoming with (2 HC because her bf goes to another school) BOTH stayed the night at my house and I stayed up all night with about 16 kids.

I am not sure if I am the allocated house for the prom. I have the room but I hate staying up all night.

Fortunately her group is a good group of kids and I don't have to worry with drugs and alcohol. A good portion of them are heading off to college on athletic and academic scholarships and they don't want to mess that up.

ONLY with adult supervision will we allow the after party.

Well.....could you chaperone the party? The homeowners are essentially responsible for any incidents, so it's strange that they won't be there to supervise since it's their belongings/property on the line.
Other parents might think their kids are complete angels, that nothing could possibly happen if their kids are in a house and not 'out partying', when they are flat out wrong. What could happen...at a beach house...unsupervised....hmmmmmm.

Where I grew up, there were prom weekends. Prom was on a Friday night, then everyone would drive to the beach and spend the weekend at the beach (no adult supervision). Yes, there was drinking and hormone driven activity happening. But that stuff also happened in the home town every weekend. As much as I would hate to say "yes" to the prom night and would probably be worried sick the entire time - I would let my child go. I would be requesting lots of checking in texts and maybe a discreet call or two. And just hope I raised them well enough that they don't make any really stupid decisions.

I agree with Carrie. If it's his senior prom I'd let him go. I would not let him go in any other case. We had a mixed sleepover after senior prom and we were all well behaved. The free kids that did sneak drinks weren't tolerated very well by the rest and they passed out early anyway!

Well if MY own socially challenged sons (19 and 17) wanted to, I'd let them. But then they have ZERO interest in trouble, have HUGE grades, make good choices and are very focused on their future. But even weird kids like MINE deserve a little fun sometimes.

Course I WOULD say to them as they left, remember your GIANT academic scholarships are contingent upon graduating without incident. If you're dumb tonight, it will cost you TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.

:)

You need to teach him how to deal with peer pressure. You also need to model it. Do not give in to a very poor situation. Explain to your son that you are sorry that his friends' parents will not be parents and that you don't believe in caving in to the masses.

You do not know what the sleeping arrangements will be. You do not know what drugs and alcohol will be there. You do not know who else may "crash" the party. Have you not heard about all the "good" kids who have suffered severe alcohol poisoning because of "one" time? Some have died.

He needs to learn that he can live through being the "only one." It will be a good lesson to learn before he heads off to college or living on his own, that he can survive having to miss out. Do you want him to go off to college knowing that he must along with the crowd in order to feel good about himself?

Tell him that when he is older, he will feel a sense of pride in not going along with a bad situation and standing up for his principles. It makes me sick how TV, movies, the world today, etc. feel like it is normal to remove all standards of decency for spring break or prom. Too much alcohol and no supervision encourage poor choices.

Be strong. Be the parent and earn your son's respect while you still have the opportunity.

I would only be ok w/ this with adult supervision. Find out which kid's parent owns the place and see if they would consider supervising (or some of the parents take turns). You don't have to be there for the whole thing or to watch every move but be present if you are needed.

If it's his prom and he's a senior YES! My parents never let M. sleep out at all unsupervised andwould randomly show up at houses to make sure there was supervision but even they let M. do senior prom at 17. He;s going to be in college in a few months anyway. If he's going to have sex with his girlfriend he probably already is. Also no worriyng about drinking and driving. I would make sure he is lectured not to drive with anyone who drank BEFORE the shore at all. Honestly my whole school went to the shore after. Sure some drank, some had sex (including M.) but I was anyway..the shore didn't make M. do it. My parents went your route a bunch and it J. left M. angry or sneaking around. He's going to be a legal adult in months, you have to start trusting him at some point

Sounds like a perfect place to go have sex after prom. Get wasted and be in the house with your girlfriend. I would tell my son absoultely not. Were going to raise him with the intentions to respect our house and rules. The plan is to get through college then they can get married. Also once they are on there own they will do what they want. We can only try our best to help them make the right desissions. If your a Christian based religion you can ask him how would God feel about your desision.

With no parental supervision? Absolutely not.

I would NEVER allow it, but many parents around here would.

Well, go with your gut feeling what you feel is right in your heart.
As a parent, do what you feel is right, not to please your son, but as a parent what is the right thing to do? How safe do you feel it would be for your son to be in this situation? Is the unsafety mean more to you than pleasing your son? Would you regret it later?

I see several people saying YES let him go... Well, if these are high school kids, HOW are they renting a beach house? And WHO is going to take responsibility IF one of the kids gets hurt or worse? I know they all THINK they are invincible, but as we know, they arent!! Its just not worth the risk.

That there would even be a pause as to question whether he should go or not is mind boggling to me. Do I understand that if any child wants to drink, smoke, do drugs or have sex they will wether they are at a party or not? YES! Does that mean that therefore I will hand them over to a situation where all of that or more will more than likely occur? NO! Even if your son doesn't do any of those things is this the message you want to send to him: It's fine to hang with people who do all the things we know to be wrong, or illegal, stupid, or dangerous, just don't do them. And I love you so much and am such a responsible parent, that I am going to knowingly put you in this situation and hope for the best since I don't want you to be the only one who doesn't get to go because for sure being COOL is the most important thing in your life and not making tough decisions that are NOT popular.

Tell him no and mean it! Do not let him presure you in saying yes. If his girl friend don't like it. Tell her to go with someone else. Have him a curfew and he better be home. Don't take any back talk from him!

im just letting u know that EVERYONE does this.. my prom we went for 4days .. its absolutley the norm around here.. jersey shore is like an hour n a half from here.. i also went for the weekend my junior year wen i was askd to prom by an older friend.. and ya kno what i wasnt the youngest one there.. its typical so he probably will be literally the only one not allowed if u dont lethim..however.. everything u think is going to happen there it will and worse... i didnt even see the beach both time i went.. all we did was drink and sleep and some other things i wont mention

Well, at least he told you about it. I would give him a "cool" curfew, but sorry, he needs to come home. I would make sure I had the address to this place to go pick him up, Im sure there will be drinking at this unsupervised beach house party...

As much as you want to please him, hes only 17..

We got the "everyone else's parents have said yes", too...until we started asking the parents. The ones who said yes were the ones who had been lied to about what parents would be there, or at least nearby. Most parents had either said "no" or hadn't been asked at all.

To me, it's a no-brainer answer of NO.