Teen Daughter Curfew

B., another thing that I use to do when they would say "everyone stays out" or "everyone has one"...then I would say, "Name me 10"

In my opinion, you are exactly right. 11:00 is plenty for a teen that age to be out. However, when she's 17 and has proven herself to be trustworthy, maybe you could compromise at 11:30, except on very special occassions and then maybe midnight for like a dance or late movie. That's plenty of time to do what she wants and feel a little more independent, without finding much trouble to get into. You would be taking little steps to help her find how to show herself to be trustworthy, and to help her step into young adulthood. Good luck!!

my child is only five so it's very hard for me to percieve this as a decent cerfew. I could change my mind, - since I have a while to think it over - HA! but my child won't be out that late! Good luck, I remember bing a hard to deal with teenage girl myself....

C.

B.,
My curfew was 11:00 until the day I got married. Whatever I was going to do, I did before 11:00. It didn't hurt me and it wont hurt her.
There is nothing wrong with loving your daughter and wanting what is best for her.
My opinion (not that it matters), they don't need to be out late. What you do before 12:00, you can do before 11:00. Period.
I do wish you the very best. I am sorry for being so frank. I am alive because my parents prayed for me and wanted good things for me. No child has died from their parents loving them enough to want them home at a decent time.
Much love :-)

I have 4 teens at home. During the week only allowed school activities or church. On weekends curfew is 10 pm unless with me and they also have to have a reason/ place to be or they are to be inside house by the time it is dark. I don't think that is unreasonable. I also need to know where they are and if they change places I also need to know where they changed to and be able to access them by cell phone. I do check.

I don't have a teen, but I was one... and my parents set my curfew at what the city curfew was, which was 11 pm. They wanted to know where I was going, who I would be with, etc. I also had a pager (back before most people had cell phones!) and had to call her back within 5 minutes of being paged... and they had caller id, so it was pretty hard to lie about where I was. If it was a special reason I would be late, such as a movie that wasn't going to be over on time, I had to call her to let her know exactly when I would be home, and that was not a habit. When I turned 18, but was still living at home, the rules of respect followed, but I had no curfew anymore. Don't give in to the peer pressure your daughter is putting on you, and if 11 is what you feel is reasonable, then 11 it is. She'll respect you more for it later, I think. Good luck!

Hi B.,
No I don't think you are being unfair since she is starting out at 5 pm!! Stick to your beliefs on this, as a mother of two teenage daughters my choice was not always the popular one, but they adjusted to it! Good Luck with ur daughter and have a great day!!

Life is not about being fair, it is about protecting your teenage daughter. My son knows that I don't care what others are allowed to do because he reguarly hears that God put me in charge of him not all those other kids. I found myself single again about 10 years ago. I again realized there was nothing that went on after 11 p.m. that I needed to participate in. Stand your ground, love your child. She is not really supposed to like you at this point in life. Her job is to push the boundaries and your job is to hold firm with love.

This is typical teenage mantra "but all my friend's are doing it!" Don't give into it; you are not her friends' mother, you are her mother, and she needs to follow you're rules, wether she likes it or not. You're not being unfair, you are making rules for her safety and for your comfort, not to make her happy. It's tough being a teenager with peer pressure and them getting to do things she can't. But one day she herself will be a parent of a teenager wanting to do stuff their friend's are doing but they can't. Just remember you are the parent and you make the rules, and she must abide by them. I broke curfew once and my folks changed it from 11 pm to 10 pm and if i broke that curfew it would have been changed to 9, and so on. Needless to say, I never broke curfew again. I'm not saying this will work for your situation. But you made that curfew for a reason, and she needs to respect that. Hopefully this has helped.

I think an 11 pm curfew is fine. I dont have teens yet, but my mother and father use to have a seperate alarm clock in there room. I had to turn the alarm off when I got home. If I was late, the alarm would go off and wake up my parents. This might help with getting more sleep.

Hi B.,

I totally agree with you with the ll:00 curfew. When my daughter was 16, her curfew was 10:00. So you are being more than fair. I use to tell my daughters I don't care what other kids can do, I only care about you. I feel you need to hold on to your guns because later your daughter will respect you for it. You sound like a great Mom!

For "regular" nights, I agree. I would consider extending it for special occasions.

The main concern to me is the danger to the child. If they're of a mind to make wrong choices, they can do it as easily at 9 pm as at 11:45, but there are more dangers TO them, i.e., drunk drivers, adult predators, etc.

Maybe her friends who are allowed to stay out until midnight could hang at your house from 11-12 now and then?

Call your local police dept and find out what the curfew is for a 16 year old, then you are not the bad guy, you are keeping her from being arrested. I am pretty sure that the curfew is 11:00 here in Nashville.

Yes you are being very fair at 16.
I have a 21 yr old, and 18 yr old and a 16 yr old.... along with a 20 month old.
My 16 yr old has to be in by 11:00
My 18 has to be in by 11:00
And even my 21 yr old has to be in by 11:00.
REASON being: I have to sleep too. The 2 oldest ones can be on their own and do what they want to do but I have given them the rules. As long as they are in my house, they will go by my rules. As long as they live here I worry about them and when they don't come in, I can't sleep... even if they are 21. So... they are home by 11 unless they tell me they aren't coming home at all. Now the 16 yr old is different. He is home period. I had some trouble with him NOT going where he said he was going so from now on when he spends the night with someone else, I talk to their parents so I will know exactly where he is and hold that parent accountable if they are not in by 11:00. If those kids don't have to be in by 11:00, my child has to come home that night. Now I do allow special times.... for example. There is a grave yard that they said was haunted. It is about 8 miles from our house. I did allow them to go there after 11 and then come right back. They had their cell phones on and they were back within about 45 minutes. That was on a weekend and I wasn't going to be in bed at 11 that night, so when he had company I made an exception that night. Also when he had company, I made an exception for them to drive to Krystals and get little hamburgers and bring them back here. During the summer I will let them go ocassionally to IHOP to eat breakfast at 12 or 1 if he has company but it will be when I am not in bed so I know when they get home. Now this doesn't happen often at all. But as long as they are good kids and they don't get into trouble and they haven't given me a hard time, I will make an exception occassionally for a special occassion to do something like that. It is easier to allow that sometimes when they are good verses if they are bad then they don't get an cooperation from me at all..... and they know that.
If my older 2 want to stay out, they have to stay at a friends house because I don't want to be a light sleeper listening for them to come in at night to make sure they are ok.
So for a girl..... 11:00 is plenty of time. You will have to do what I did and set your boundaries and let her know that 11:00 is your limit and if she doesn't want to go by your rules then she won't go out at all.... no car.... no friends... no nothing. Then as a treat sometime when she has friends spending the night, you and your husband can go to IHOP or a late place like that and pay for them to have breakfast at 12 or 1. You all can sit at a totally different table and enjoy yourselves while they are at their own table. And they can chose to be as far away from you as they want. For some reason, late hours are just cool to a teen and going to eat that late is really awesome.
Another thing... I see you are from Arkansas but in Tn, the teens have a curfew. They are not allowed on the streets past 11 or 11:30. If they get caught without a written excuse in their car from leaving work or something logical like that, then the parents get into trouble. So that kind of helps us out there and they stress that BIG TIME when they go to take their drivers test also.
But don't be afraid to compete with all those kids that can be out till 12. If you give her 12 right now then when she gets to be a senior she will want to make her curfew at 1:00. So allow her 11 right now and then when she is a senior you can go up to 12 if you so chose.
Good luck.
And don't feel guilty. You are in the right. You are the parent. Don't be afraid to let her know that.

I don't have a teen yet but I'd like to think that it wasn't that long ago that I was a teen myself. I think your current curfew of 5pm-11pm is just fine. However, if there is a special occassion like a sweet 16 party or a school dance or something like that, you may want to extend it to midnight for the special occassions. Good Luck!!

I hope you don't mind, but I don't have teens! I, like everyone else in the world, was a teen. How I wish that my parents would have given me a curfew. I am not a parent myself and though my children are still very young, I know they will have a curfew. Stick to your guns B. because you are absolutly right, there is nothing GOOD to be done that late in the evening. When I was out I was doing MANY things I should not have done. I am thankful to God that He kept me safe. I just want to applaud you for knowing what is right. Sometimes I think that my parents did love me enough to care what I was doing in the middle of the night. There were times that I would get home at 2 am (if not later) and they were in bed. Years later, that hurt my feelings and I know now that I longed for the discipline that came along with parents that gave their children curfews! Hang in there and stick to it! It IS the right thing to do!

i think 11 is pretty fair. that was curfew growing up on the weekends unless i had some special plans...like a school dance or something, and if there was even a chance i might be late, then i had to call and let my mom know what was going on, then i had to get home as soon as possible. my curfew didn't change till i graduated, even though i was already 18.

Hi B.,

I have given my 16 yr old son a curfew of 11:00 also and that was my curfew when I was that age also.

As far as calling her friends parents to find out what their curfews are, DO IT!! It gives you an opportunity to communicate with her friends parents and possibly some insight into what environment she is hanging out in. Also, if the other parents know what your rules are most of them won't go against them when she is at their house.

T.

I think whatever curfew you are comfortable with is fair. I know a 17 year old whose regular curfew is 9:00 on school nights, unless she is going somewhere special like a concert or something. My daughter, who is 15, doesn't go out alot, she has a few close friends that she hangs with and on school nights her curfew is 9:30 and on the weekends it just depends on what she is doing. I wouldn't let it go past 12:00 on weekends unless she was at something in particular like a concert with people I know. I don't let her just go out somewhere and hang out. I don't think that's wise. I know I was given way too much freedom as a teenager. My parents never knew half the things I did, or the people i was with and I made ALOT of bad choices.
Set limits firmly with love.
S.

Hi B.,

I agree with the others. Do what you are comfortable with and, if she's going to get in to trouble, she can do it during her lunch period, so it has nothing to do with midnight. When I was young, my curfew changed depending on what I was doing and who I was with. My parents felt that if I went to a movie that got over at 9, I should be able to go for dessert, visit with my friends and be home by 10:30. If I was going to a football game, I could be home at 11. They always had to know who I was with, where I was going and when I'd be home.

It sound like you're doing what's best. Good luck!!

Whenever you feel the time should be, then leave it at that. I would, however, change your argument a little. By saying it is just more time for her to make bad judgments you are are implying that you expect her to do so. She won't appreciate that. SO, she most likely feels you are doing this because you don't trust her. I would work on that. Tell her it is the time YOU are most comfortable with. Maybe you could even compromise? Make it 11:30? That way, you are giving a little, and she is giving a little. I think showing a teenager respect is the best way to get it. It is what always worked and still works best for me. Good Luck!

B., I am a FIRM believer in doing what is BEST for you and your family, despite what "others" may say.. or your DD and her friends. She is still a child despite being 16.. she is NOT an adult and she still needs structure and boundaries, she may not like it but she will respect you more for it years down the road...and you are RIGHT about MORE OPPORTUNITIES to not make good decisions can occur anytime but more so the more time they have on their hands, this way they will make the most use of their social time.

I know you would rather be safe than regretting enforcing what you know you should have done in the first place.

I say this as I am a mom of a 19 yr son and a 5 yr old daughter... I learned a few things from my first one. ;)

B., stick with your gut instinct, your the mom.

My husband and I were saved from this discussion by the laws of our state. Children under 18 have a state mandated 11:00 curfew. Driver's who have had their license less than a year can only have one rider under 18 with them and they must not drive at all after 11:00pm without special permission. I would advise you to check the laws of your state and see if they would be of similar help to you! It's nice for it to not even be up for discussion when it is a law.

Nope Billy
your not being Unfair
she is just trying to see how far she can Push her Limits with you.
She Needs boundrey s and your giving them to her while giving her plenty of freedome as well you havent been unreasonable with her reguardless of the grief she may begiven you.
Stay strong Billy Some day taht daughter of yours will thank you for giving her boundries you refuse to give into

I don't have a teenager, but I think 11 PM is pretty fair. Maybe you could be lenient when it comes to special events as far as her curfew. For instance, if she's going to prom, maybe you could let her stay out until midnight. I don't know what the answer is. I didn't have a curfew when I was in high school, however my parents knew every single place I was every minute of the day. They were pretty strict, but if they knew I went to a movie at 9:30 then it wouldn't let out until around 11:30, and they didn't give me a hard time about stuff like that, but they always knew exactly when it would be over and expected me home within fifteen minutes of the end of the movie. I couldn't just stay out as late as I wanted. Even if I was to be home by 11 PM, they still had to know everywhere I went, who I was with, and what we were doing.

Good luck! I am glad I don't have to cross this bridge with my daughter for several years!!

I have twins that are 17 and their curfew is 11:00pm as well and I hear the same complaint from them. Teens this day and age think that it's ok to be out all night long, but to me anyone out that late is just asking for trouble. What I do is...I let them hang out with their friends on Friday Nights they can go to the movie or out to dinner some times they go over to their friend's house to play Play Station games but on Saturday nights everyone hangs out at my house for game night. I make snacks and they pick a board game to play. I want them to learn that you CAN have fun at home.

E. D
Mother of 3 boys (10yr old,17 yr old twins)

Totally think you are being fair, considering on my PROM night, I had to be back by 10.. you are being MORE than fair (And this was only 9 yrs ago)!! I think 11 is totally reasonable, and your daughter will just have to deal with it. :P

Dear B.,

My best advice is to talk to the other parents about there curfew. If parents of teens make decision together, it is very effective. I would also tell your daughter that her curfew is 11pm unless there is a special event and that will be decided on a case to case basis. Before any party my husband or I always talked to the parents of the person giving the party. My husband also always picked my step-daughters up from the party (sometimes showing up a little early to get the feel of the party). We also had the M.A.D.D. or S.A.D.D. discussion with our step daughters. We always carefully explained the risks involved and why we were concerned. We explained that we trusted our step-daughter (as long as nothing has happened to break that trust) but we did not trust others who could take advantage of her. We had many trust discussion about how trust was like money easy to spend but hard to earn. My experience with teenagers has been explaining to them the risks, expecting excellence, and keeping the lines of communication wide open has resulted in a close relationship with my 24, 23, 20 and 18 year old step-daughters.
Another alternative for the staying up unitl the curfew which another parent gave me, is to set an alarm to go off 5 minutes after the curfew. The child is responsible for turning off the alarm when she gets home. If the alarm goes off, consequences occur. Hope it helps! :) A.

Well...I don't have any teens, but I remember being a teen. I am 30 and my curfew was 10pm on school nights and 11pm on the weekends. Once I turned 18 THEN it was midnight. If I was going to be out later I just had to let her know. I thought that was fair. Don't let what the other people do bother you. It's what you feel comfortable with.

I have a 16 yr. old son and we don't allow him to normally stay out past 11:00 either unless there are certain circumstances. He says the same thing, that everyone else can stay out as late as they want, but we tell him that we don't want him out driving that late because we don't want anything to happen to him. Normally, once we talk with him he seems to settle down and accept it. Just try explaining how you feel and you wouldn't want to lose her.

S. H.

My daughter is 16 too, and I have a curfew for her at 11:00 pm. If she is running late she knows to call me and and let me know what is going on. And she is only allowed 2 times to be late or the next time you can't go with your friends. So she knows that she has to get in thier on time. It is too much going on out here in the streets that these young people just don't understand. Yes she has asked if she can stay out later with her friends, and she knows from my LOOK IT'S NOT GOING TO FLY WITH ME. So she has stopped asking. Hang in their, they know that we love them, but we also have to set guideline for them to follow.

I have two teenage boys. Their curfew is midnight.

Hi i do not think you are being unfair. Just responsible. Hang in there and be firm on your decision.

Have you checked with the parents of your daughters friends to see if they really do let them stay out until midnight. I don't have a teenager but an 8 year old; the teenage years will come soon enough. I try to remember what it was like when we were teenagers. How fitting in and wanting to be able to do things with your friends felt extremely important at that time. How did it feel to be the "odd" man out, so to speak.

stand firm...too many parents want to be their childs "best friend" or the "cool parent", those are the kids who stay out until midnight or later. kids need rules and responsibilities. 11pm is very reasonable for a 16 yr old. most towns have curfews anyway. dont expect her to like it, most kids will argue and sulk, but will comply.

Check with your local law enforcement agencies and find out the curfew time for teens to be off the streets. In some places, it is 11 pm for teens under 18. That could help with a legal issue for you by keeping her out of trouble with the law.

Your right, now hold your ground.

You are not unfair. I have a 17 (soon to be 18) year old son and his curfew is 12:00, but at 16 it was 11:00. He doesn't fuss too much but sometimes he says that his younger friends get to stay out later. My answer is "too bad. Yours is 12:00" There is nothing that they need to be doing that late. Occasionally, if he is at a friends house watching a movie, I will let him stay a little longer. I just take each situation as they come. Just remember, you are a parent of a teenager and no answer will be the right one.If she complains too much you can always start taking 30 minutes off (10:30,10:00,etc)until she gets the picture and is satisfied with 11:00. Works for me!

Myd aughters are 20,18,15,14 and a son of 13 . The 18 is allowed to stay out until midnight and has been for a year since the age of 17 the 15 year old is allowed to go out with a group of friends to movies, skating , bowling or out to eat in town only,she checks in every hour and is never allowed to stay out past 11 .As far as more time for bad judgement or trouble thaose can happen in the first few seconds they are out and usually do. I have been very honest with my girls about everthing from drugsand alcohol to sex. My,
17 year old is on birth control and the 15 year old goes next month for a check up and to see about birth control.The hardest thing for me was learning to trust that my girls would make theright decisions and that they would come to me about anything and I feel that because I have been honest with them and not judgemental they all have come to me about different thigs including drugs,drinking and sex and luckily they are all drug,alcohol free and only the 17 yr old has had sex one time and did not enjoy it at all. So I would say 11 is plenty late and trust your daughter to make the right choices she may surprise you.

Stick to your guns B.. You only have 'em for two more years. This is a true test she's putting you through on limits and boundries. The easiest thing to do is give in, the true parental thing is much harder, she has to comply to your rules right now. With summer coming up, she's going to want to push for later nights out. You are setting the right limits, and you're right, 11 o'clock is the latest a 16 year old should have for a curfew. That one hour does not have to be negotiated right now, there's always next year. So, at 17, will it be 1 or 2 a.m.?
Good luck, I know how teens can wear you down, but this battle shouldn't be one she's going to win right now. P.S.
Reading the other responces you've received I'm inclined to say, it's not a question of trusting your daughter. It's a question of trusting the older boys and girls that have a later curfew that she will most definately be exposed to. Those older kids that don't go out until 10 or 11 to hit the clubs.

How much do you trust your 16yr old? I had a trusting relationship with my parents and had no curfew, My parents knew I would make the right choices and if I made a wrong choice i would have to deal with the consequences. Can you trust her to come home when it is time or do you watch the clock/door till she's in? If you let her know that you trust her then she will want to return that trust.

About Me: 28y/o mom of 7month old boy

I totally agree with you. And no your not being unfair and when she gets older she will be glad you set limits for her. I remember thinking my parents were unfair because I had to be home before my friends, but when I look back now and as I gotten older I thank my parents for the way they rasied me.

Way to go, B.!! Hang in there with that curfew!!!! My uncle was a policeman in Columbia and he said that nothing good happens after mid-night, so for her to have to be home before mid-night is a smart call!!!!
Sounds to me as if your daughter has lots of freedom, which is good as long as you can trust her and she makes good decisions. Young people learn to make good decisions when they are given the opportunity to exercise their own judgment and it seems as though you're allowing her the opportunity!
We need more parents like YOU!

Hi~
I've had 4 teens and the last one will be 20 in June. Unless it is a PLANNED late night out (such as a late movie, going to a concert in another town, etc), 11:00 should be plenty late to finish any socialization with friends. If she's wanting to stay later, it may simply be to see how far she can 'push the limits'. Have HER to help you set her own rules and guidelines for her own safety and accountability instead of you calling all the shots. She IS old enough to start carrying some of the responsibility for 'worrying' about her own self (many girls in the last century got married at 16!), so don't do all of the worrying FOR her while she continues to get her jollies from testing the boundaries and making you stress out! Make her accountable to her OWN guidelines, and I think you'll both be happier. She'll feel more mature and you can breathe a little easier!

If all her friends are allowed to stay out that late ,she just wants to be part of the group. It's a peer pressure thing, she just wants to fit in. Just remember you are the parent! Also remember you were young once and no matter how late she stays out she could be doing the same at 5:00pm ,as she could at 12, you just have to trust her. I'm not saying that some of the other parents are wrong about not being your childs best friend, but I do know from my own cercomstances, that if you are your childs friend and she is able to come and talk to you about anything you will have a better relationship and she will be more open with you instead of being scared to talk to you and include you in her decisions. My parents were very strict with me and I could not talk to my mom or confide in her, so I had to hide everything I did and when I did get out I went wild!!!! I am now 31 with a 10 yr. old and a 4 yr old and have found out with my 10yr. old if I open my ears and listen she includes me in how she is feeling. She is already going through puberty, she is maturing too fast she is alost 5ft at 10,already wears a bra and really needs it. Anyway I think it is better to have a close relationship, and sometimes you find out alot more about your children if you open your mind and find out how they feel (I'm not saying they are right or that they should run wild and do what they want). You are not being unfair, I'm just telling you what I went through and remembering that I had nobody to talk to , just keep your lines of communication open and talk about things together.

The 11:00 curfew is fine and don't ever go back on your word. Sometimes kids play parents against the other. They will say that "Tommy parents let him stay out until 12 when the truth is Tommys parents do not". In the meantime, Tommy is waiting for another parent to say its ok for their child to stay out and then use the same tacted. Basically, they will wait and see which parent will bend the rules first and then go from there. Children will play you if you let them. I have a 17 year old daughter who is a senior....and she has friends that can stay out later but I don't care. She is my daughter and if she gets in trouble. I will have to deal with the consequences, not her friends. Don't get me wrong. She has a very selective, respectful group of friends and I know their parents. However, some of their curfews are different and some may have a little bit more freedom then the others. But my rules are my rules. Unless there is something special going on. The curfew stays at 11. Right now, its the prom and after prom. After prom starts at 12 and basically over around 2. This is the exception. Occasionally she stays over her bestfriends house...and I know they stay up til the wee hours of the morning. I don't mind, so long they are in the house and nothing shady is going on. I keep telling her that I was a teen once too and know the games that are played. So before she starts saying so sos mom let her do it. I remind her of her boundaries and always remember the way she was raised. How you child is seen is a reflection of you and how you were raised. I know a few parents who never know where their children are. I find this to be ridiculous....and really asking for trouble. As long as my daughter is living with me she will go by my rules. When she is older she can set her own rules, if she has her own place. But with 4 years of college ahead of her I don't think this will be anytime soon. 11:00 is fine...give or take a couple of hours for special activities that she may want to participate in. I read alot of responses and all seem to agree. If more and more parents put their foot down. The world would be a better place.

If your daughter is still(?) in school, she needs to be home by 10 PM. She needs sleep to be able to get up for school and be alert for her studies.You are not being unreasonable in the least!! More power to moms! Hail,hail, to the moms of America! They have long lost their ground and authority. S. L.

If she thinks 11 is bad, she would have hated my curfew time which was 10pm. I wouldn't consider making it later until she was 18. However, I am just a youth pastor and don't have a teenager of my own yet.

When my daughter was 16, I also struggled with the dreaded curfew. I didn't want it to seem that I didn't trust her, so I decided to see what time she would come in on her own. Fortunately, she never stayed out past 11. Keep in mind, that was 7 years ago. Today she says she wished I had given her a curfew because it would have made life easier for her when friends were saying "why go home at 11 when you don't have to?"
You are correct in that she needs a curfew. I realize that now. There is nothing positive going for a teen girl after 11 pm anyway.

STICK TO YOUR GUNS! I also have a teenager and I don't think 11:00p.m. is too early at all. I am appalled at teh lack of limits so many of my son's friends have. More parents need to set some strong limits.

11 sounds rather fair to me. Though hubby and I PLAN to handle our sons' curfew much like mine was when I was a teen. It all depended on who I was with, where I was going, what we were planning to do, and who was driving. Like, if I was going to a 9pm movie with some friends that my dad trusted, I was allowed to stay out until midnight to give us time for a snack somewhere afterwards. But if I was just going to the mall, then I had to be home 30mins after it closed. (10:30pm) Another thing he would do from time to time is just show up where ever I said I was going....and if I wasn't there, well, you can imagine what would have happened! (Luckily, I was never that stupd, lol) Like another mom, I also had a pager and if my dad paged me, I had 5 mins to return the call. You could do the same thing with her, especially if you have caller ID, have her call you from wherever it is she's susposed to be.

The advise to find out your local curfew is good, and also in some states 16 year old drivers can't drive after a certain hour at night. My daughter is also 16 and wants to stay out later, and I remind her of the driving curfew when she argues. I have let her stay out a little later when she goes to the later showing of a movie or for some other specific reason, but not as a regular thing. Her brother is 18 and a senior, and I ask him to be home by midnight, but he's always been so quiet and such a homebody that I'm just happy he's going somewhere!

Stick to your rules. It's not your fault if all the other moms use bad judgement!

Your daughter's curfew should be what you are comfortable with. You know what goes on in the world today and you try to protect your daughter as much as possible. You can't protect her from everything, but it is your job to at least try. As she gets a little older and you begin to feel more comfortable with her going out, give her a little more time. Never let your kids make you feel guilty about doing what you believe in your heart is right.

absolutey not! You are the mom and if you say curfew is 11, curfew is 11. She's a teen...of COURSE she's not going to like it :)

I was a pretty responsible kid and when I started driving on my own, my car had a curfew but I didn't on the weekends. but on School nights, me AND the car had to be in by 10. So she's lucky :)

Stand your ground. She needs boundaries. Surprisingly enough, kids thrive on them even if they complain about them.

I remember being a teenager and being mad at my friend's mom for making us come home at 11 whenever I stayed with her. I didn't have a curfew at my home and we always wound up getting into some kind of trouble. My friend's mom always said that nothing good happens after 11, only trouble. I always rolled my eyes. Now that I am a mother, I agree with my friend's mom. Nothing good happens after 11! As long as you have stuck to that from the beginning, don't change it!

Honey you daughter is lucky!! I had to be in at 9 pm no later than 9:15pm. So you are not being unfair at all. She's luck to even get the benefit to even go hang out cause some kids only get the privilege to hang out at school (lol). Iwould tell her that if she is not satified with the curfew she has then she can lose her haniging out privileges altogether and call it a day

NO your not being unfair! she is just trying you trust me I raised three daughters and my curfew was at 11pm also. and you are so correct thier is just no reason other than trouble to stay out any longer. Keep up the good work and keep her safe :)

You aren't raising the other children. Sounds as tho you have your daughters best intrest. as it should be. More parent should be as you. What goes on after 11:00. Teen drugs, drinking and sex. Know this can happen at an earlier time also. But at the earlier time there are sports, movies and teen center opened also teen dances that have adults. If she dances away the night than she will be tired enough to be home at 11: my teens are.

The older I get, an early curfew sounds better...but you are the parent which means you ultimately get to choose. This puts you in a good position to use a later curfew to reward good behavior or doing extra chores, or on special occasion.

My husband let his daughter stay out to midnight on non school nights.

Our alarm system has a "chime" feature on in which lets you know when the door is opened. I think you can buy these at Lowe's...to mount on the door if you don't have an alarm system. That way, when your daughter comes home, you will know. Good luck!

I think you are right.

I have a daughter that will be 17 in a couple of weeks, and I base the curfew on what she is doing. If she is at a movie that runs later, then okay, but I have her tell me where she will be, with whom, and if she changes plans at all she is to call and let me know. I agree with you thinking that is just more opportunity for trouble. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. If she has something to do that will go later, then you can always make an exception in that case. I have grown children as well, and I know that each child is different and each situation is different, so I think flexibility is important.

D.

I have to agree with you. I think that 11pm is more than fair. Not much for 16yo kids to do until midnight and later.

I know with mine, if it were a special occassion, then I would give them more time, every now and again. But not on a regular basis. Also I think it helps with getting them home on time and respecting your wishes.