Only Mommy - Blue Point,NY

Kids go through phases like this. I would say, have your husband pick up in some other areas (can he clean up after dinner, do dishes, put in a load of laundry, etc for you) so that you can be with her. I know right now it seems like a lot to ask of you. But my boys are now so often in the "only daddy" stage (daddy tuck them in, sit with daddy, daddy fix their ouchie, etc) and I miss being the one they want! They still give me loves and hugs and I know I'm important to them, it's just part of their growing up. And my oldest is in the super-independent stage so often now (she's 12, sigh) that I really miss doing things for her.

Incidentally, in my home, we consider all responsibilities as "shared." He isn't 'helping me' when he does housework any more than I am 'helping him' by producing even my meager income. And the same goes for the kids, now they are old enough. This is their home too, so their chores are part of being in the family, not just 'helping mom'. A bit of a paradigm shift that can help attitudes all around - so when he does the dishes or laundry so that you can bathe your daughter (or whatever), he's not just 'helping', he's taking responsibility for his share of the home :)

Yeah, my son goes thru phases ... it happens ... when daddy says it is easier to do whatever I turn around and ask him if we parent only when it is easy? Daddy cops an attitude but does what he needs to do.

Your daughter wants to be mothered. If you have to work full-time, then you do, but if there is any way you can work part-time, maybe you should try that, so you can have more time for your daughter.

No judgment, just fact.

You and your husband could do the kids bathing together. She is feeling insecure because she was used to having mommy all the time. you are her safty net. Give her some time to adjust. Both you and your husband could help her at the same time. both of you can go to her and she will see that daddy is ok too. remember, she is also dealing with a new addition to the family.

I would have him do it. Even with the tantrum. They will soon adjust. When it's bath time I would have Dad tell daughter "Daddys going to get your bath water running, get the toys you want to take in the tub with you and get your clothes off".... and no matter what happens have him get her in the tub, if she's hatin it and havin a fit just have him dad-handle her a bit, get her all washed up and toweled off (never saying a word to her about the tremendous fit she is throwing) and be done with it. She will soon realize it's a battle she wont win and learn to enjoy sittin in the tub playin while dad reads on the toilet. You guys are in charge, not the 3 yr old, and thats what you have to remember.

You give your daughter a bath and sit and enjoy your time with her while your husband does whatever else needs to be done during that time. You are not enjoying the process, and you will regret it later. It seems like the more you push a child away, the tighter they hold on. Give into it, be present and in the moment, and you will see why your child feels the way she does. Because you will start to feel the same as she does about bath time.

She's trying to tell you in the only way she knows how that she needs you. Mommy is supposed to be there to take care of her, but mommy's not there, mommy's at work.
Can you switch to part time? Work from home? Your children need you, you are very valuable to them.

Please do not blame the fact that you are working on this phase. I am a stay at home mom and my daughter went through the same phase. She would not let anyone change her, feed her and bathe her except me. It does not last forever and I kept trying to encourage her to let daddy do it but it is not worth fighting over. It will not last forever so just get through it and love every frustrating moment.

Forget the comments about your working. I have always worked full time and my now teenagers are pleased that I work. They believe working has value and this has nothing to do about the money.

Yea. They get that way sometimes where they only want mommy. She is transitioning to new baby and mommy returned to work. Do the extra things when you can. Have your husband help with other things. If you are bathing the children, he can do the dishes, start the laundry, fold the laundry etc. So you have less to do. At times I would try "please help mommy and let daddy do ...". If she still wants mommy, then tell her she will have to wait until .... Hopefully sometimes she would rather a have daddy do whatever than wait and you have one less thing to do! This will pass. Soon she will be bathing herself and doing many other things herself. Then they become teenagers and they wish they didn't have parents! So fun :)

I think it makes sense and is normal and is just the way it has to be. She needs your attention and love - a new baby and little time with you is just plain really hard on her. The best advice I got when having my second child was, "If both cry, care for the older one." Have Daddy get the dinner and bath the baby. She needs routine, but make sure it's not just to get her off your back - kids are incredibly perceptive - it's not your words but your heart.

This is a normal developmental stage for kids. Try to accomodate her as much as possible and before you know it she'll want only Daddy to do things for her. Of course, she knows that Daddy can do things, but that is not the point, she wants you for now whether it is getting a drink of water or giving a bath.

C....my 3.5 yr old son is EXACTLY the same way! I haven't read anyone comments about your working and I'm not going to b/c it will just be frustating. I don't think your working is the problem, children act like this no matter what...they want their mommys! I went back to work full time when he was 10 weeks old. I find that I usually don't mind his demands except for when I am really tired (which can be often) I've been really trying to tell him that Daddy can help and instead of getting frustrated or whatever I have now decided to just tell my son that if he wants mommy to do something for him that he will just HAVE TO WAIT until I can do it or he can have daddy do it now. Sometimes he chooses daddy bc he is imapatient sometimes he waits for me. The big things like bath are totally on me...so I accept that and try to get my husband to do as much other things as possible. I tend to my son and I have my husband do everyting else. LOL. I keep telling myself that one day that sweet little boy is NOT going to be wanting me so much so I just try to do the best I can now. I agree, I think its because I am not there that much, so while it might not be right, I do just give in to him. FTWMommy guilth I guess. I'm not perfect! I hear a lot of "no mommy does it"