Oh, How Do I Put This Nicely...

I would say that it's beautiful and you love it, but right now with all the kids and the business of life that you need one a little more functional, so would it be OK if you guys went shopping together to find one to replace it. (So basically the opposite of the truth, that it's functional, but you hate it.)

She would get much more joy out of you having something that you love then having something that she loved.

I would suck it up and carry it a few times when I was with her to let her see it being used. Then when going somewhere else I would switch to one I like better.

It's your mom. She would want you to be happy.

Tell her that you absolutely ''Loved to piece's'' the old purse..But the new one is just not the right match yet.

Maybe ask her if she would like to go shopping with you for a swap?

She will understand...Purse's are a very personal thing....It is not something someone can buy easily for someone.

Her feelings maybe hurt just a bit. This is why, if she is able to go with you to exchange she may feel a bit better about it:) And I bet she wont feel sad for too long......''Loved to pieces'' purse's are the BEST:)

I just got a hand me down one from my MIL that is going to be loved to pieces:) It is amazing!!

i'm always torn too but if she knows shes ussually awesome with gifts and isn't super sensitive J. be honest and say you don't think you'll use it. If shes not super sensitive she'll want you to return it to get something you do like.

Shes your Mom, if you cant be 110% honest with her then who can you tell? I can see where you might feel bad but look at it from this point of view - I doubt she would want you to use it just because you felt obligated and its better to return it for something that you actually love. Why dont you tell her and then suggest that you go out for coffee or lunch together so that you can hit up the store afterwards and make the swap together?
Good Luck

Oh god I hate that pickle! I found Christine a pair of boots a couple years ago and I thought she would love them, she hated them and told me so. I wasn't upset so much as I now doubt my ability to pick things out for her so I won't. So last year she ended up telling me in frustration you used to buy me cool stuff all the time...I think I need to come clean with her as to why I won't buy her stuff without her going with me. :(

With my mom she was always really excited about the deal she got, she never considered if it was actually something I would like so I never felt bad chucking it in the closet never to see the light of day until I did my Goodwill bagging. :s

So anyway I would tell her but don't be surprised if she starts dragging you along to buy your presents. :p

I would come up with a little 'white lie'.....like....oh, the inside zipper was broken, or, there was a large whole in the inner pocket fabric and my cell phone was falling through it....something she probably would NOT have noticed while purchasing. Swap it first and tell her they did not have the identical bag and you picked out something else....

and Thank you ever soooo much for thinking of me...I love you mom, you're the best....

ooh R.!!

Tell her the truth - it's not one you would've picked out for you - purses are VERY personal....

like for me? I need compartments, pockets, etc. Pam? She wants a bucket with a pocket on the outside...

Please take it back and exchange it for one you would like and use.

like that 9West purse with the yellow interior!! (LOL!!)

I would fess up to my mom that I loved that she saw a need and tried to fill it for me, but that it didn't meet my needs and I wanted her gift to be the useful purchase she wanted it to be so I traded it for a different style. She will still "buy" you a purse (or something else), just not that one.

I know my stepson doesn't like a shirt I got him (online, so returning is a little trickier) but if he wanted to return it, I'd just do it. I'd rather he get something he likes vs being "stuck" even if I initially thought it was a great idea.

I'm a mom with 2 adult daughters. If I bought them a purse they didn't love I would want them to exchange it for what they really wanted. Right away, no big deal. I'd feel terrible knowing a so-so purse was taking up closet space and that my daughter had to remember to use it when she saw me.

My MIL used to buy so much stuff for my husband and even if he didn't like it, he would just put it in the drawer. She got him some sweaters once from Europe that were 3 sizes too big, they were almost down to his knees! I never understood why he never said anything after the fact when it could be easily returned. I always include a gift receipt because I hate the thought of someone wasting money just so they don't "hurt my feelings". My feelings would be hurt that you think so little of me to not tell me the truth. I think you just have to be honest with your mom and speak from your heart.

Just tell her that you are not a fan of this one and you would like to pick one out together. Purses are personal items and if it's not right it's not right - you will not feel good about it holding your most personal and needed items on a daily basis. My mom and MIL do pretty well in this department too but my mom has made some mistakes and we simply correct them!

If it's from your mom then I would explain that you love that she wanted to replace the falling apart purse, but that you want to pick something that is more your current style. I don't think by stating that it doesn’t fit well with your wardrobe is being ungrateful or will hurt her feelings.
Put yourself in her place and think about it if it were the other way around. Wouldn’t you want her to be honest with you?

It's sweet of you to worry about her feelings. And it seems like the majority feel like you should nicely tell her and expect that she'll be glad you get something you like instead. For me, I would just use it to make her happy. I would rather my joy come from making her happy than from a purse.

But you are obviously concerned about her, so whatever you do will certainly be fine.

My mom does this with jewelry. She knows I LOVE diamonds and all things that sparkle, but she gets me things from the Avon catalog to help a friend out. She sees the pieces I wear daily, even got me my right hand ring (college grad gift) so I'm not sure what the issue is. I think she tries really hard. My mom is also funky in her style which I love!! But I'm not :).

I try to wear it sometimes.

Maybe you can use it sometimes?

Use it if you are going somewhere with her. Otherwise I have purses that hang out in the open and house plastic baggies, pencils, etc. or papers. If it is big enough to make it a decorative storage space (that can be emptied quick) then do that. we don't have to like everything, we can just appreciate the thought. I don't think you even need to say anything to her. You could even leave it sitting around with things hanging out of it so it is actually in use all the time.

I would keep it, and like you said, try to remember to use it when she is around. Then maybe you can tell her you like this purse, and tell her about your other purses too, and why you like them. Maybe next time she goes purse shopping for you, she will remember what you like. Sometimes it is nice not to burst their happy bubble.

Just because you wouldn't have chosen it, doesn't mean it's not perfect for you. Wear it a few times. I'm sure things in your closet will start popping into your mind that it would go with just perfectly. I bet you get tons of compliments on it and I'm willing to bet it will become one of your new favorites.

If I was in your shoes, I would simply tell my mom that I would like to exchange it for O. that I think I will get more use out of. She would appreciate my honesty and the fact that her money is not going to "waste." Can't you just do that? I doubt she'll be offended or angry.

If it is something I feel like "nahh, I don't hate nor love" I keep it, I am suprise how many times on many years has gave me something that I didn't loved at first and end up loving.
Like this "very" Mexican shirt, I didn't like it much, but I kept, years go by and some how I stared liking it, AND I have seen many shirts that look like taht one in Lucky Jeans and store that kind for so much money (well, for me a shirt close to $60 is a lot unless a party clothes).
Anyway, but if you totally hate it, make both of you a favor and tell her you apreciate the present but is not your style.
Other ways you may end up with the same present for many years and your mom thinking you love them!

Use it once when you spend time with her (to make her happy) and forget about it..unless she literally counts the times she sees you with it! Things are just things, jeez. I tried "faking" enthusiasm for the things my ex mother in law gave me, but it made it worse...I kept getting more unwanted things! Keep a low profile if you can, you don't have to throw it away or regift it but don't be fake either. Just my 2 cents.

I have so many purses and to be honest, some of the ones I didn't really "like" were lifesavers for me.
An extra bag that matches somewhat or I can just throw a couple of essentials in and go.......
You don't have to love it.
Just use it when you are going to be seeing her and let it be in the closet the rest of the time.
I personally can never have too many bags. Although, switching them, I always forget a little something from the other one I usually use. So, I just use them temporarily.
I use some of them to take my lunch or cold medicine and things that won't fit in my other purse.
I always find a way to make them come in handy.
Spending the night somewhere? I put my makeup, deodorant, hair brushes and tooth brush in them.

If you really super hate it, you could always tell her and ask if it would be okay to exchange it. Up to you.
I've just never been given a bag I couldn't find a use for.

Just my opinion.

I would return it anyways. If she asks, just say, "I loved the purse, and that you got it for me knowing I needed a new when, but it wasn't exactly what I needed style/function wise, so I exchanged it for something that fit my needs a little better."