OB/GYN Visit with Toddler

I don't have my husband in on any 'female' exam but I have had to take my son or daughter with me before & I don't have any problem with it.. I have only taken one child at a time.. what I bring something that he or she is very interested in and give it to them before the exam.. of to the side so they are away and very occupied... they are so busy they don't notice anything. Sometimes you have to improvise

You can ask the dr. to do whatever you want!! You are paying her remember??? Anyway, yes, it should be perfectly fine..my hubby does not really enjoy being there during an exam either, so it might be a welcome idea for both. Generally they can just wait in the waiting room, and the nurse can be sent out to grab them when it is time for more chatting. Just let her know, and honestly, if she seems to have any kind of problem with it..she is not the doctor for you!! Congratulations ~A.~

Splurge on a sitter for your appointments.

Andrea as an RN that has worked in REALLY busy OB offices I assure you that it will all work out if all of you go. Most dr's and staff are really good about asking if you want everyone present for your exam. Also, your son is still pretty young and probably won't take notice if he has to stay in the room with you.

Keep in mind that you will be examined at the first visit and then not again until much later in your pregnancy. I would just take lots of things to keep your little guy entertained while you wait.

If you have more questions please feel free to ask. I'm an RN and Childbirth Doula in Dallas so this stuff is right up my alley!

J.

I would suggest your husband sit with your toddler in the waiting room during the exam...or even stand in the hallway; then come back in so that dad doesn't miss a thing. I am pregnant right now and I took my 2 year old to a visit last month...but I was alone...my husband works out of town...and my daughter threw a fit. She didn't understand that the visit was for me. This next visit she is staying with grandma!!

If memory serves me, they only do an exam once in the beginning, and then again towards the end. Your hubby and child should be able to go to all appointments and even stay in the room while the doctor feels your belly (this is of course assuming you only don't want your child in there for a vaginal exam. On the times when there is a vaginal exam, have hubby and child wait outside of the door, behind the curtain (my doctor's office has a tiny curtain area in the room for changing in and out of the gown), or have hubby hold your child up by your head so that he only sees the curtain around the knees. I think you'll do fine! I brought my second child to all of my doctors appts for the 3rd and the only problem was when they did the vaginal exam...in which case we waited until my next appt to do the vaginal exam when I could come without the toddler. Good luck!

I think most OB/GYNs are used to this problem. I know I have gone to prenatal visits with 1 or 2 toddlers out of necessity. If they are really young, it probably doesn't matter. If your husband is with you then they can just step out of the room for the brief time you are being examined. My OB/GYN had this great big truck book that my middle child was OBSESSED with during my third pregnancy. He would pick it up in the waiting room and read it the entire visit. I don't even think he noticed I was being examined. I ended up finding the book online and buying it for him for his birthday because he was sad after the baby was born and we didn't get to go to the place with the truck book.

Congrats!

fwiw, i just strapped my little guy in a stroller and talked, played, and distracted him at the necessary times. i was only vaginally examined twice (once at the first appt. & again w/ a new dr. after we moved); those times we just wheeled my son to face my head and i talked and laughed with him while the dr. examined, talked, and laughed with me.
after the initial exams, i just politely declined the others saying unless there was something specific she was concerned about, it was just an unnecessary increased risk for infection; my ob agreed.

u could take him to a drop-in playcare place like Adventure Kids or Kiddin' Around.

I often had to bring my 2 year old with me to my OB appointments - and aside from the first visit, there wasn't a lot of "business" going on until the 9th month. A nurse (or his big sister - who was 8 at the time) kept him by my head during business episodes, and he got to hear his brother's heartbeat with me and see the baby monitor and everything. My doc didn't do a lot of talking in the office afterward, other than the first visit. I would have loved to have my husband there, but given his work schedule had the doctor said I couldn't bring my children, I'd have had to find another doctor.

Suffice to say, in kindergarten now, he knows where babies come from - even if he doesn't yet know how they get there.

Hi There,
CONGRATULATIONS! This is just my personal opinion and when I was going through exams with my second, my oldest was 11 mo and still in the infant carrier that I just turned him in the opposite direction… but here is what I think.

As long as your little one is not at the end of the bed watching the exam, I wouldn’t think it would be that bad. Just pull a chair up by your head or by the sonogram screen so that he can talk with you or see the sonogram without seeing all of the detail that goes into the exam or this wonderful process. I have a 2 1/2 year old and I think I would do this. I think it can be done tastefully (not like on Discover Health where kids are watching the birth) and your husband can enjoy this with you.

I really don’t have a suggestion for the actual birth, I was fortunate to have my parents in town so that my son wasn’t in the room and my husband could enjoy the moment and help me :-)

Good Luck!
E.

The doctor should be okay with that idea. It's a good idea. You could also have someone come with ya'll and wait in the waiting room while you and your husband are in there or take the 2 year old in with you with a stroller and face him away while being examined. Its normally pretty quick. Hope this helps.

Sometimes the doctors office will have a play room for the little ones. If the doctor currently does not have a play room with supervision; this would be a great time to make the suggestion. It is important for the fathers to be involved with the pregnancy process. I think your decision to have your husband and child to wait in the wiating room is a great idea or maybe see if grandma can accompany you to the doctor and watch your son while you and your husband participate in the exam and discussion time with the doctor.

You should def check with your Dr. first, b/c I know my Dr.'s office doesnt allow children in the exam rooms at all. Good luck! : )

We took our son to all of ours if I was going to be examened they stood in the hall just before and came back in when the nurse left. He was 2 and I don't think he even would have noticed the dr stands in the way and my husband kept him pretty entertained while he was in there anyway.

Hello,

I work at an OBGYN office and find it aokay for father's and kids to come the appt. Actually we welcome everyone because our OB patients needs all the love and support that they can get. By all means, please bring your hubby and kido to your appt. :) Congrats!!!!

I'm glad to see that someone else suggested checking with the office staff regarding the policy on bringing children. My OB does not allow children (except for the postpartum appointment) in the office at all due to colds and/or flu viruses. Perhaps you could ask a friend/neighbor/relative to help you out.

I had two kids pretty close in age (16 months apart). Whenever my husband couldn't come with me to the appointments, I had my daughter sit in a chair in the room with me and look at books that she brought from the waiting room. When I had my third child, I did the same with my son. It's not a big deal if you don't make it one. They never even noticed.
But if your husband is there, he could hold your son, or sit in a chair with him in the room.

I would call your OB's office and see what they suggest. They have probably been though this before with other families. Your husband and son could always stay in the waiting area until your exam is finished. Although with mine, I don't remember there being much more than listening to the heart beat and measuring for most of the appointments. Nothing invasive that would upset my child anyway. And, your older child will enjoy being included in the process - age appropriate of course! Good luck!

Presuming your OB/GYN allows children in her office (I have recently found some that do not), it shouldn't be any problems for Dad and son to step into the hallway during the vaginal exam. You might ask your dr not to do one every time, as they really aren't necessary every time unless you are concerned you are dilating too much too soon to prevent this being an every time event.

I would have your son in for listening to the heart beat and those portions of the exam- there is nothing visually disturbing about it, and that may interest him, and will DEFINITELY interest dad!

My 2.5 year old came with me when I was expecting #2 without dad and played cheerfully in the room, ate a snack, and had a ball even during exams. She really didn't care much what the dr was doing as long as she had some toys and a snack to eat!

A.

Congrats on the second pregnancy. We're expecting our second too and our 1st is 2 1/2. We are not telling her or bringing her with us until we go public. Last year we did - and then I lost the baby - and have had another miscarriage since then. It was really confusing to her the first time, but fortunately she was young enough to forget. We figure we'll wait until we're sure everything is OK.

Since usually only your first visit and final visits require a pelvic exam - you could just have them wait in the waiting room. With my last pregnancy my boys were 6 and 4 and turned 7 and 5 - they can be quite busy when together so my husband stayed home with them for the visits I had in the summer. I was having sonograms and non-stress tests at these visits so I was there a long time. My boys and husband came to my 20 week sonogram and to another sonogram. I think my husband came to one other visit with me - the first visit to the perinatologist. I would go during the day (when he was at work) and my younger son was not in school yet and he would come with me if it just a rountine OB appointment. I think having your husband there to help manage your son will work out fine. He will probably be more bonded to the baby that way.

I would check on the policy of the doctor or the clinic about children in the waiting area. You have to remember that children of that age have a very short attention spans. Can you find a drop off child care provider or sitter for your visits so that your husband doesn't miss out on things? You do have to consider the rest of the doctor's patients and they not wish to have small/young children around them. Congratulations on your second. The other S.

I'm also about to go for a visit soon with my husband and toddler. I have taken my toddler with me to the OB/GYN and it has never been a problem. They usually have chairs sitting to the side where the child will not see anything. At my Dr's office, they usually give my little boy crayons and pages to color. They are very understanding of the situation.

My husband was never in the room during my exams except for sonograms and hearbeats. He would wait in the waiting room and then I would have him come in for the sonogram and heartbeat. During my 2nd pregnancy, I specifiaclly asked my Dr which would be the best appointments to have my husband come, b/c some are just check ups. For all the time it takes to park and wait til you are called in, for a 5 min check up,I didn't see the point in having him there with our active toddler.
So, I would just have your hubby stay home with your toddler during the little check ups, and during the big ones, get a sitter or drop your son off at Adventure Kids . We made the mistake of taking our toddler during my 5 mo sonogram where they determine the sex and the whole time my son kept trying to go under the table, step on chairs,wanted to mess with the sonogram machine...it was a nightmare, not to mention stressful.
You'll have many appointments so try taking both to one and see how it works out. Every family is different and I'm sure you'll find a way what works for all three(four) of you. :-)

Doctors are generally pretty good about this. In my case weather I felt it appropriate or not I have not had any other option then to birng my kids with me. Oh how nice it was on the rare occasion that I got to go by myself. If it was to be a below the was exam we would place the kids so that nothing could be seen or one of the nurses would take them and play for a bit. They LOVED listening to the baby's heart beat and seeing how much mommy's tummy grew. I have had 4 kids and 4 different Doctors and it was not a problem for any of them to have my kids around.

My husband just took our son to the waiting room until the exam was over. Then came back in afterwards! My husband comes to every appointment and so does my son and it works out just fine! congratulations on your second!

Why can't your hubby just stay in the lobby with your toddler while the dr examines you? I have seen that before. Then a nurse can call them both in when the dr is done. It only takes a minute for them to examine you - most of the time is spent waiting for the dr and talking. The rest of the appointments are mostly hearing the heartbeat with no exam. Anyway, good luck!

Andrea,

Why don't you just leave your son at a drop-in babysitting place, like Adventure Kids (in Flower Mound and Highland Village). If you don't live near F.M. and H.V., there are other drop-in babysitting places in other towns that I do not know the names, but there are quite a few. Otherwise, it's really not a big deal to bring your toddler with to your appt. I brought both of my sons (ages 4 and 1 at the time) to my OB appointment when I was pregnant with my third. Your toddler will not see your privates or anything. I don't think it's a big deal if your toddler comes with you and your husband at all. Bring a few small toys with to distract your toddler (or a portable DVD player). It will be fine.

I think your idea is absolutely fine. They may have your hubby and son wait in the waiting room rather than the office, but either way works. I am sure this is a common occurance. They may even allow a staff member to watch your son for a few minutes (if you are ok with that). I wouldn't ask for that because they may be too busy and of course it isn't their job, but my doctor and dentist have both offered to do that for me.

Have hubby hold the toddler near your head while being examined and you talk to your toddler while being examined. If your doctor has the drape over your legs he won't have a clue what is going on and your husband can be by your side supporting you just like every other time. That won't work for labor day though- you'll have to get some help by then!

It's all about family right. My son who was 2 went to every doctor appointment, sonogram and birth because we have no family in the area or "trusting" friends at the time. I kept him in check as much as you can with a two year old. If the doctor can't handle your kid in the exam room, then he should be that kind of doctor.

Hint: I also kept extra gummies in my purse. ;-D

Take your toddler. Your covered down there when they examine you. don't make a big issue of it. Simply state they are looking to make sure your healthy. with Daddy in room, he can hold toddler at your shoulder and have him point at pictures on the wall or even just have toddler look at your face. they will not remember that, tho the heartbeat and then kicking will be more remembered. *the toddler will have a silly grin or be in wow mode.

Have them wait in the waiting room. The doctor may not allow small children in the exam room anyway. I know with my pregnancy my doctor had my husband wait in the waiting room and them they would ask him to come in after any invasive exams (not sonos or anything like that) until she was checking for dilation then she just had him stand up by my head.

I think its great that you want your husband and child there! It will help them to feel connected and involved with the new baby. I would just have them sit in the waiting room or just stand outside the door since the exam usually doesn't take more than 5 minutes.

Congratulations on your new baby!

-Leanne

I've taken both of my children to OB visits, including ones when I had to have an exam. My OB has strategically placed chairs so that during the exam, whomever is with the patient can stay in the room but not have to see the show. ;) My 2 year old was quite capable of staying put in that chair when it was time. And, really, there aren't too many exam appts, are there?

Take plenty of books to keep the little one busy & enjoy they time as a family, getting excited about the baby together! :)

Like another poster said, check the policy at the docs office. The front desk can tell you what it is... and they do have very short attention spans, so finding a drop in sitter would be ideal for both of you.