My children attend the private school attached to our church. It’s a small school (less than 100). We are always trying to increase enrollment and are hopeful that we will grow. I was approached by the Principal the other day, who said the Pastor wants a Marketing person to market the school and keep up with all the activities (ie – Facebook, website, fundraisers, calendar, etc.). It would be a paid position through the church. GUESS WHO THEY OFFERED THE POSITION TO?! ME!!!
She then proceeds to tell me how the church wants to “go in a more professional direction” and would like this person to be a little polished.
Here is the dilemma: I am notorious throughout the school and church to be casual. I’m in jeans / t-shirts / shorts / flip flops kind of gal. I do not work and spend my days volunteering in some capacity (ie – school office aide, church admin help, serving lunch, making VBS set, etc.). My hair is either in a ponytail or bun and I don’t wear make-up (don’t even own it anymore). I make no excuses for my appearance, nor do I try to be something I’m not. PLUS – I want to be pleasing to my husband only, not the world. And he likes me like that (When we were dating, he mentioned seeing me without make-up once and liking the natural me – So I quit wearing make-up).
They know who I am, how I am and they want me to pay me to do what I love (keeping track of everything while keeping our name “out there”). BUT I have to go into this professional / polished mode…Which is NOT me. I mean, I have real clothes – I just choose not to wear them (I have my Real Estate License and I worked for the Developers of the largest Marriott in the world). I don’t look like a ragamuffin, my clothes aren’t tattered and I am casual on Sundays (not shorts / t-shirt / flip flops casual though). I’m supposed to meet with the Pastor to discuss pay and whatnot. I’m on the fence – Do I succumb to this for the benefit of the school or do I just turn it down? We don’t NEED the money…It would be nice. I’d do it for FREE if he’d ask! I’m just not sure if I should buy in to this whole “professional / polished” look. I mean, they know what they’re getting into when they asked me. I know they’re asking me to do this b/c I am a more visible church member / school parent. I’m also about a “good time” – I’m always putting together group activities, not through the church or school, but just because (ie – group baseball games, trips to the beach, group camping weekends, serving at the homeless shelter). So they know I’m capable of being “out there”. Should I take a stand and say “I’ll do it – but only if I can do it comfortably!” or not do it at all? Not to be a jerk, but seriously – I wasn’t even looking for a job…They came after me…Same as the PT secretary position they offered me; I wasn’t looking, they just offered it to me. Thanks mamas!
Thanks everyone for the sound advice!!! I never knew so many people still judged books by their cover (my personal fav: I'm apparently a middle-aged slob who has given up?). Working in finance for Merrill Lynch AND being offered a job in NY in my 20's, I think really set the pace for me. Back then, I was a slacks / heels person - but n ever a power suit. As I progressed and went into event planning and was head hunted for a company in San Antonio, while living in another town - again, slacks / heels. Successfulness in Real Estate in capris and flip flops (not rubbery cheap Wal-Mart kind though) came naturally and again, can't recall any clients meeting me and saying "No thanks - you look like a slob." In the end, working for the Owners / Developers of the largest Marriott in the world - No one batted an eye at my appearance. They liked my work and paid me more than what I was making ever...whether I was in jeans or dresses. I supposed I have to really take a step back and realize I will find those who like me for who I am...and those that will like me on what they can get from me. As far as schools go, again - We are a wonderful school and if a parent would take the time to find out (and get past my jeans and tops) they would see their children are getting an outstanding education (ie - My daughter is top of her class and has already been accepted into a private university with scholarships coming out of the wazooo - in shorts / t-shirts no less!). Anyway, I supposed I am of the few left in this world who DON'T judge books by their cover - I suppose I experience how the world treats me...And it's crazy if people took the time to peel back the layers to find what's deep inside. YES - I get I'm representing the school...and their polished look...So who knows? Maybe I won't take the job - b/c I'm not about to present myself as something I'm not: A Marketing Major...
Take it. They asked you, they know you and they want you. Sounds fun and you are qualified and you need the money! Congrats
I'd do it. You don't have to be a glam girl to look professional. Just wear dress pants or a skirt and a blouse or other nice top, some nice shoes, and carry yourself with confidence. Honestly, I don't think looking professional requires someone to wear makeup, although a little certainly does look nice. If you think about it, you'd kinda be a sales person. Sales people are the face of the organization they represent. You would be doing it for a church's school, not Miss America, so I'm sure they are not expecting you to look like you just stepped off a Chanel runway.
If you are in a marketing position for the school, you will be representing the school...not yourself. What image do you think the school should present - jeans and t-shirt or professional and organized? If I were looking for a school for my son and the "face" of the school didn't look professional, I would wonder if the school was organized and capable of teaching my child. If you take the job, set your hours and dress professionally during those hours then go casual in your off time.
I.
Flip flops, shorts and t shirts are not what grownups should wear to anyplace but the beach. Don't give yourself any more excuses to look like a slob. You need to step it up-no matter if you do it for the job or not. You may be a great person (and you sound like you really are!) but all that others are going to see is a sloppy middle aged woman who has given up on herself. You are too good for that! You can be neat and polished and still casual and comfortable. You should check out the show WHat Not To Wear...they are always making over people like you who always end up thrilled with their new look and always think they look better with a little makeup and styled hair than without.
Take it, it sounds like fun! Looking polished and professional in no way has to mean looking like a harlot. It just means wearing nicer clothes (not necessarily a suit, just usually something past jeans), leaving the sneakers at home, and doing something with your hair/face/nails that looks like you put a little thought into it. Your nails don't even have to be painted, as long as they're filed and not all jagged. A ponytail is fine if it's not too frizzy - it can even be stylish. I used to do a ponytail or a "snot knot" (think ponytail not pulled through all the way, making a sort of poor man's bun) in a very professional office setting.
As for makeup, you may not need any at all, or you may just need a little. I just do a little concealer to cover up my lack-of-sleep eye circles and any red spots, then a very small amount of blush. Most days, I skip the eyeliner and mascara and just do a small dot of a light-colored eye shadow in my tear ducts. The whole thing - hair and makeup - takes me about 5 minutes. 7 on days I go crazy with eye makeup.
I'm a little concerned about your concern though. You say you don't want to be pleasing to the world, just your husband. Really, you should focus on being pleasing to YOU. Your husband loves you for who you are, so if you're happy, he will be (hopefully - otherwise that's a different problem). So if you decide to take this job, and polish your look for it, and that makes you happy, he will be happy too. I'm almost getting the sense that he wants you to go out looking dumpy, which is a whole slew of control and misogyny issues that I'm hoping aren't at play here.
Bottom line - it sounds like this job is a great fit for you on all other counts, and it sounds like you really want to do it. Don't let the need to wear "real" clothes and put on a small amount of makeup deter you from it. On the other hand, if it really is that much of a problem, then maybe it's not worth it.
I agree with many of the others. When in the business world, if you are going to be a marketing representative, you are the look of that business/church/etc that you are representing. First impressions are important and also remember that perception is reality. If you are perceived as too casual in your appearance, the person you are marketing to will perceive the school as being casual and no one wants their child to have a "casual" education. I personally don't think make up has to be a part of it, but definitely your wardrobe does. Nice slacks, shoes and nice top are imperitive to a marketing position. I have never met a marketer in anything less than that. Hair should also have a professional appearance to it too. If a pony tail looks too childish on you, then find another up-do. If you feel this is too restrictive for you, then don't take the position.
This was a published article that my company shared to emphasize how image affects your effectiveness:
Subject: Great “I Don’t Wear Makeup” Article Eyeing my career in a world without mascara
By Lucy Chabot Reed
I don’t wear makeup.
Big deal, right? I always thought so. I’m productive and efficient, and I’m good with what I do. Spending an extra 15 minutes each morning to make up my eyes look bigger or put a little life in my lips never seemed all that important.
Guys don’t have to do it – or anything else even remotely like it – so I have resisted it on principle more than anything.
To me, makeup always seemed too sexy for the workplace. It’s meant to accentuate a woman’s eyes and lips to make them more sensual and alluring. At work, I never wanted to attract that kind of attention.
I’ve asked people over the years if they thought I was hurting my career by not wearing makeup. Usually bosses ( and usually men ) invariably told me no. “Of course not,” they’d say. “Don’t be silly.”
Then recently, I posed the question to a girlfriend in public relations. Her bluntness startled me.
“Do you think I’m hurting my career by not wearing makeup?”
“Yes.” she said.
I was speechless, so I changed the subject, but her honesty never left me. I called her the other day to ask her to elaborated. After couching her comments with her affection for me and her belief that she thought I was adorable, she told me that, without makeup, I do not present a professional picture.
Ouch !!
In her world of public relations, where professionals are called on to represent companies to clients and the media, image is everything. Even something as simple as leaving off the lipstick means you are too rushed to bother, that it’s too much trouble, she said.
“No, it’s not too much trouble, and if you don’t bother with lipstick, it makes people wonder what other details you can’t be bothered with.”
She recounted stories of qualified, talented women she’s known who she would never refer to clients or for business because of their appearance – long, unstyled hair (like mine), more-casual-than-professional clothes (like mine), no makeup.
It got me thinking.
I searched the Internet for other opinions, looking for other renegade professionals who didn’t ink up each morning. There weren’t any. What I found instead were interview tips and how to compete in the boardroom, each one including advice on how to be groomed.
Continued – Great “I Don’t Wear Makeup” Article
Without fail, they advised keeping makeup use to a minimum. A Wall Street Journal article about how much appearance rated when headhunters call on women – about 85 percent, one recruiter said – urged “discreet makeup.”
But none of the tipsters suggested not wearing makeup at all. It’s an unheard-of-alternative.
“Don’t step out of the house without makeup,” one site admonished.
I found a column on BluSuitMom.com by Sherry Maysonave, an author and the founder and president of Empowerment Enterprises, a communications image firm. She said that women who wear makeup earn 20 to 30 percent higher incomes. That’s according to the Hamermesh-Biddle study that says attractive people make more money than unattractive people.
Not that I want to get into a debate about what constitutes attractive, but I’ve been fighting this makeup convention my whole life. And after stories on the struggle women have gone through to be paid fairly, I’m beginning to wonder if I’m just giving the bad guys more ammunition.
Or, as former Texas Gov. Ann Richards says, “Ginger had to do everything Fred did, except backwards and in high heels.”
The corporate playing field for women isn’t equal. Welcome to our world. I’m grown –up now. People judge me on my appearance, and in this society, makeup is part of that image.
Maysonave wrote that women who wear no makeup or too much makeup communicate low self-esteem. Well, that’s not me. I went to the store that night and bought a new mascara, powder and lipstick.
I came into the office the next morning to compliments on my appearance; despite donning an outfit I’d worn a dozen times before. Within an hour, I’d received a phone call from the Small Business Administration telling me I had won the Small Business Journalist of the Year award for the South Florida district and the state.
Coincidence ?
Now I’m waiting for my 30 percent raise.
Lucy Chabot Reed is associate editor of South Florida Business Journal
E-mail: ____@____.com
I think you should take the job-sounds like you want to but your resistent to "look the part" we get it, we get it, you like the natural look and a casual wardrobe. That's fine. But you can put a little "professional effort" there are tons of cute and casual clothes (go to the Gap get a nice polo shirt and pants with a cute closed toe sandal) professionalish but casual- you can pull your hair in a low bun and get some tinted lip balm-no big deal.. I dont think your sacrificing who you are to just polish up for a job you will probably love-its not like they are asking you to wear a dress and stilettos. I think it sounds like a great opportunity and to just be stubborn about clothing is ridiculous. Obviously they see something in you they like. Talk to them about expecations of dress code-maybe you can get a polo with their logo on it and khakis and then you will both be happy. Good luck-take the job!
I've already read your SO WHAT HAPPERNED, but I just want to comment. You are a well educated person, you have the spirit to do whatever task you set your mind to, and you should be able to dress as you please. It is someone else's problem to accept you that way or not. Hey, you just don't choose to run the rat race.
