NORMAL? Or Not So Normal?

I don't see this as being not normal, but he would probably benefit from having a more social life with friends his own age. Is he involved in sports teams at school? Or Little League in the summer? How about a bowling league for kids his age? Boy Scouts? If you got him involved in things like these, he would make some friends and have activities with kids his age.

At the same time, at least you do not have to worry about him having inappropriate associates. Be grateful he is close to the two of you.

When you say he is well liked by children, do you mean that he has lot of friends at school, or are they just polite to him? When I was in school, I had plenty of "school" friends, but not many "home" friends. I would talk to them at school, but I would hardly ever go over to their houses or go to the mall, movies, etc.

I would try to find out how friendly he is with the other kids and then invite them over to your house to play or to go with your family to the movies, etc. He may need to get used to the idea of you and your husband still being with him before he will be more comfortable with going over to his friends' houses. Hope that helps!

I think it sounds normal..maybe you could encourage him to invite one of his friends to spend the night one night. That might get him more comfortable with the idea of having one on one time with peers. One on one is a lot different than in a group setting at school.

Sounds perfectly normal to me- in fact your son could be a younger copy of my son who is now 17. Up to 15 he didn't seem to need any one other than our family- boy did that change! Slowly but surely he started reaching out more and more till now he is on the go or has friends over all the time. I've talked to him about the change and he says it was just "getting comfortable with himself and ready to spread himself a bit". He says nothing was wrong- he just liked his life and family!! I'd say to enjoy this time, it passes really quick- make the memories now for when he is too busy to spend much time with you.

I've now experienced five kids, and they've all been more or less "brave" about stuff like sleep-overs. Two of them started out fearless, one overcame his hesitancies right away, and two of them had persistant tendancies to stay near parents. One of those two is now 22, and can tell you, she's fine. She got brave enough to go to college in Boston, but hated being so far away and moved closer to home. The other is about to be nine, and it's probably going to take her a long time to outgrow the things she's nervous about.

You sound like you have a good boy on your hands. I understand your concerns, but I bet he'll mature out of his fears.

A.,
My son is also an only child who is 13. I am a single mom but we have a pretty "normal" life. My son is very well adjusted. When reading your descrption of your son it fit my perfectly, friends and lots of them, athletic, very respectful, teachers love him, communicates with children and adults very well. So over all very well rounded, but I can not kick him out of the house to save my life. HEHE. God love him, he wants to go and be with me all the time. So from my point of view I vote normal. Have a bless day R.

He may just be really shy and feel uncomfortable outside of his safe environment. I would try having sleepovers at YOUR house, and organizing trips to the movies, going out for pizza, etc. with his friends but with him being the host. Maybe once he gets used to socializing with them outside of school, he'll be more open to going to their houses to hang out. Good luck!

Dear A.,
I would leave my son alone, but just keep him involved in activities with other children, especially church, boy scout, and activities that will guide him in the right direction. He will eventually find his niche in life. Like someone else said, invite other children to your home and maybe he will want to go to theirs. In this day and age, I think it is really important to pay attention to with whom your child is involved. You want the best for your child and for him to have friends that have a good influence on him. His peers are a very important part of his life and can have negative influence....and when children get to the point in their lives that their peers govern their choices this can be a very critical part of their development. Be glad that your son is choosing now to be with his family and feels secure. This could change. Give him all the LOVE and postive influence now when you have his attention and he will not stray from the positive influences you have on him. A good strong loving family is the very best insurance that your child will not be influenced by outside influences that could lead him into making bad choices that could ruin his life. When your child graduates from school he doesn't realize that most of those friends he will never see again...what he needs to learn in school are social skills, how to make good decisions for his welfare, to help his fellow man, and learn something that will make the world a better place. If he learns all those things he will be successful in life.

Normal is what is comfortable for the child. If he prefers adult company, and that adult company is appropriate, it is fine. If he really wanted the company of his peers, he would actively seek it.
I, too have wrestled with this same problem. Your son and mine sound very much alike. He is now 26, and still pretty much a loner. I don't believe that he has ever dated, even when away at school. He had his life plan firmly in mind at an early age, and did not want distractions. Only recently, at 26, has he begun to ease up on himself, and allow a few frivolities. I once mentioned his 'friends' at college and he hurriedly corrected me...'colleagues' He was set on obtaining his Masters degree before stepping out of his comfort zone.
Now, he is 600 miles away and doing quite well for himself. Had we not allowed him the freedom of his own decisions and forced what we considered 'normal', he might have been too conflicted to stay the course.
Just love your son for who he is and honor his decisions. he obviously has good parents and will be a real winner.

My kids were all the same. I have 5. It wasn't until they were older that they started telling me how easy it was for them to do things that they were not comfortable with and that they just felt safer with me. They didn't start going to sleep overs until they were well into their teens.
I'd leave him alone. You never know what the other kids are pressuring him to do at the moment and maybe he feels safer with adults. Especially if he doesn't want to get involved in what the other kids are involved in.

I was an only child and the same way as your son. I was content at home, I wanted to go places but I was happier at home. I have 3 children and two of them are the same way. So I make sure we do things that include other kids without them having to invite or be invited. We go to the local kids gym to hang out, the park or even an arcade. As long as he is around other kids(with or without direct contact) Just appreciate it, he will not want to be your sidekick for long.

My oldest is 13 and is the same way. He wasn't so much when he was younger but his friendships seem to only be 1 at a time. I would love to have suggestions also. My other two have kids over and go all the time.