No Filter!

Think before you say things..."It's better to be thought a fool and say nothing then to say things and confirm everyone's suspicions."

If you accidentally insult someone, you can follow it up by saying "... And I'm an idiot!"
Everybody says stuff they don't mean to say sometimes, but if you find you're doing it every day, remember this:

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt.

Talk to your dr. Sometimes our mouth works faster than our brain. You need to be retrained to slow down and really "think" about what you're going to say before you say it.

That is one possible symptom of ADD/ADHD. I've got it, and know that is something I've had to be very careful about. I've even been medicated in past years for it, on a low dosage of Adderall. Might want to check it out. :)

I used to do this too. I learned in the last few years that knowing you do it is half the battle. I own my own business and I have to be really careful about things I say because they can come back to haunt me. Knowing you do it and trying to stop will be the best way to fixing this. Good luck.

My college roommate had this problem and later realized she had Asperger's Syndrome. Coincidentally, my young son now has it and is working with a speech therapist.

Do you feel you need to have the last word on things, meaning do you feel if someone is telling you something that they are looking for someone's opinion. I used to be this way. If you rule out the other's suggestions on ADHD and need to learn a hard lesson like I did. Then I would just say that you could think about the questions I thought about...Is my opinion really that important? Instead of blurting out my opinion could I just ask them another question about what they are talking about? Unless you are the expert on a given subject or someone says that they need to know your thoughts on the topic. You need to slow yourself down when someone is speaking with you and tell yourself that really, what is in you mind is not that important and could be hurtful. It could have a negative effect which is worse. I manage a small staff at work and after what I call "growing up a bit" and taking a coaching course I realized to be a good friend with someone or someone that others come back to is when they can really feel like they get to TALK to you not be talked back at. The course I took was called GROW which is about asking question back to people instead of giving them a solution or opinion but I found it really helpful for both personal and business. I am not sure if we have the same problem but this was really hard for me a couple years back and I thought I would share my story. V.

Firstly, you are to be commended for realizing this about yourself and wanting to improve. Next, I would say that you already have the answer. You just need practice thinking before you speak. Now that you know to do it, you'll do it more and more frequently. It just takes a conscious choice to do so. There's nothing wrong with you that needs fixing, you just need to practice a skill that all people use--to varying degrees of effectiveness. You are assuming that everyone but you is good at this skill but that is a lie. Most people use it but not everyone as often as they should! We all need more practice, you just need to get into the habit to begin with.
Clearly, God has opened your eyes to this so that He can improve an area of your life. Thank Him and don't underestimate the power of prayer. You can ask God everyday to show you and help you remember to think before you speak.
Also, honesty goes a long way with people. If you feel you are on the road to alienating a potential friend, just be honest and admit you struggle with this and I'll bet some people give you the benefit of the doubt. I've had friends who are a lot like you describe yourself. Knowing is half the battle!
One last tip I would give, before you say something, ask yourself this: Is this comment going to bless/benefit the person or not? This is good advice because it doesn't bar you from being honest or cause you to be phony.
Some good verses to pray:
Psalm 19:14
1 Peter 4:11
God bless you and Merry Christmas!

I don't think that you should get so down on yourself. I feel that people should speak their minds. I also think we all make mistakes and sometimes say something we wish we hadn't. I remember doing this once and I still have flashbacks and feel terrible about it. It was at a work event to boot. I learned my lesson and don't drink at work events anymore, because that seems to totally remove any filtering I have (which isn't much).

Anyway, I don't know the specifics, but if you aren't saying offensive things, maybe you are just hanging out with people that are too sensitive and/or judgmental.

I am not sure that I have helped in anyway, but I hope you don't get too down on yourself about this. We all do it sometimes.

Good Luck,
D.

Like another poster said, knowing is half the battle. You can retrain yourself. Just practice thinking before you speak. I know, easier said than done. Remember that you don't have to make a comment about everything and that you should pause before talking.

Go to the library or bookstore and browse through the self-help section. You might find a book that addresses this issue. Good Luck!

Most of the time people are already feeling down and over critical of themselves and don't need someone else to "state the obvious" for them and make it worse. I used to say say only what you would like said to you. Well I have changed that a bit as sometimes I don't mind solid criticism but others a little criticism and they block you out and runaway like a 5 year boy old on a playground being made fun of for giving Mom a kiss and hug goodbye. Instead before speaking, pause think about the words and think if they are kind or necessary to be heard. Remember if the words were not spoken there is nothing to be sorry for. Once spoken you can apologize and be forgiven but they will still be remembered and people will start to distance themselves from you.

Hi KK,
I know what you mean. My brain is linked directly to my mouth, and sometimes I say things I didn't mean, or say things and didn't mean them to SOUND the way they came out. It sounds like you are maybe dealing with some self-esteem issues too? About 10 years ago a friend told me about a wonderful personal growth seminar called Pathways to Success. It literally changed my life and helped me trust myself more, and I noticed I suffered from regret a lot less. You might want to check them out- www.PathwaysSeminars.com. They are offered up in Northbrook. I wish everyone in this world would attend them- I think the world would be a more peaceful and understanding place.

Good luck,
T.

Read up on mindfulness...it's a great tool that teaches us how to be in he moment, and in addition to gaining self- wareness, you will be able to ejoy everyday things at a different level. In regards to your problem, if you are more in the moment you will be less likely to say something without thinking because you will be aware. It's about paying attention on purpose. Hope this helps.

I don't have this exact problem, rather I seem to always have to make comments on everything (they are usually not offensive.) To combat this, I am now trying to stop myself before I interject my opinion and ask myself if I REALLY need to give my 2 cents. A similar approach might work for you.

Just my 2 cents ;)