Neurotic Uncle

Maybe have your husband mention to him that if he (the brother in law) is concerned about Zoey getting a cold, germs whatever it is from your daughter then instead of in the long run making daphne feel like she cant touch anything, like she has something wrong with her, or that she is not liked by them which after a period of time of doing this will affect her in one or more of these ways I am sure. Just have Daphne wash her hands or use sanitizer in front of him so he is not all freaked. I can understand the "germ" thing but that is why there are sanitizers out there. He has to learn to deal with it. It is up to the Parents to take care of that not give another child a complex because she is only 2 and does not have a clue to why he does not want her to touch anything of Zoeys! Once Zoey starts school what is he gonna do? They have sanitizers in the class rooms that they use often to help with the germs etc... he needs to find some ways to deal with this issue.

By the way I am a mom of 4, ages ranging 18-6 and also I also have (OCD) Obssessive Compulsive Disorder~ I am a Germ Freak!!!! I have the sanitizer hand washes, the hand wipes etc... always using them. I wipe our telephone down several times a day so I know there are ways to just deal with it as a parent and never make someone else feel like they are dirty or wrong! The issue is with me not them! Maybe this will help i dont know but good luck!

S.

I have 3 kids and my brother has none.You have to let your bil know that kids learn by touching.If he doesn't want his stuff touched then he needs to pick it up.If you would calm down and let the girls play he would find that they will play nice and thier immune systems will get stronger.He just needs to relax.Talk to him and let him know how you feel about him telling your daughter no all the time.If you were telling Zoey no all the time would he like it?I guess you guys need to be in each others shoes to understand how the other one thinks and feels.I hope you can talk to him and work things out.My daughter was 4 when I had my son.It was hard because she wanted to touch him and the I said no the more upset she got.I finillay started letting her touch the baby and they were fine.She was very soft and now they are really close.I had my son at 28 weeks so it was really hard to have my other 2 kids play with him but they knew to be soft and now they are very close.I hope this helps.I hope your daughter can play with Zoey.They learn by touching and playing now.I hope your brother in law learns that.

I have 3 kids of my own that live with me 8.5, 7 and 16 mos. I also have a 3 year old neice and a 8 year old nephew that live with me. My neice comes back and forth from her mom to her dad and every time she does she comes back and destroys things like the older kids games and puzzles. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!! I realize wait ..... its not her fault or my sons fault. They are young and just want to play. So inorder to fix them playin with the older kids stuff i got a cabinet and gave the little ones the old shelve. I put the older stuff in the cabinet. My whole point is.... if u don't want something touched PUT IT UP> Its not ur responsiblity to put things up for people. Weather family or not. I know when my girls were younger i didn't like taking their carseats into my ex's parents house because of all the dogs wouldn't stay off of them. I took it upon myself to ask his mother if i could put it up some where. I was a guest in their home. Most of the time it was on her bed or in the spare bedroom out of the way. Its not ur responsiblity to put it up for them. Just maybe talk to them and suggestion a certain area that way everyone isn't tempted to say no and the childern arn't to touch. As for the toys i would ask them not to bring them and get them out if they aren't goin to share. The girls seem close enough in age that they would play with things together. And germs do wash off. I mean if they are worried about germs they better put a bubble around their child to protect them cause this world is nothing but germs. ( no disrespect to the other with the disorder) Anyways i wouldn't feel that it is ur responsiblity but in the same sense u guys have to compromise a solution because it will just hurt the kids in the long run. Good luck

Hi K.,
Why doesn't he want her touching the carseat? What does he think will happen to it? I would be annoyed by that. I would maybe ask him about it. I run a small daycare out of my house and I have a rule that if a child brings over any toys from their house they have to share them. It's not fair if they have their own toys that they don't share and my kids have to share their toys. Maybe tell that to your brother-in-law. Good luck. Sometimes it's hard to deal with family.
Chris

Your BIL has set forth a pretty clear boundary. Doesn't matter how silly it sounds to you, he doesn't want Daphne touching/playing with Zoey's seat/toys/etc. And it is YOUR responisibity to respect that boundary and make sure things are put up out of Daphne's reach, or keep her away from those things.

Hi K....
I have a seventeen month old daughter so, I know how it is to have her curious about all things new...especially if it's something new in her own space. I also know how it feels to not want my things touched when I go out. So, what I do with family members and friends coming to visit our home is put things out of her reach. I have two closets near my front door in our home that can be used for this.....purses, shoes, bags, just anything that needs not to be touched by her little fingers. I simply let people know that she WILL get into their things if it isn't put away. So, to keep from lots of "no's" on my part toward my daughter, I simply ask if they mind if I put their things away in the closet. I've had no problems with this at all. It's just a suggestion....it may work for you as well. As for your brother in law, I'd probably want to just explain that your feeling are hurt and you're a bit annoyed by how things are going with his recent visits. He may not know why you gave him the look you did during his last visit, so try to explain things to him. Good luck with all of this! Hope everything works out well for you and your family! :)

You need to let your brother-in-law know that he needs to lighten up. I realize the whole germ thing, but what he has to understand is that he, as any parent should, cannot make everything antibacterial. IT'S NOT HEALTHY FOR THE BABY/KIDS. Kids have to be exposed to certain germs. It helps build their immune system. He should be glad that he knows the child that's playing with the straps to the car seat, and that she is a clean kiddo, vs. another child from day care or wherever, that he doesn't know anything about.

i think i would tell your brother inlaw if he has such a problem with your daughter touching zoey thing maybe him and zoey should stay home and not darken your door step .i could see him being like this if she was a new born but that was over a few months ago.GERMS only keep your body working and healing itself