Need Support on My Decision... Not Much of a Choice

Hi S.,

I went through the same thing with my first child. The diffrence is that I just could not bring myself to breast feed. I heard it from every one. I finally told all the "women" in my life that this was my child and they had there chance at rasing there child. I got sick of listening to every one tell me how much better there child was then mine because they BF instead of Bottle feed. Well she is now 7 years old and she is no diffrent then all the others.
I think you need to sit down with you sister and better educate her on the issue. Allow her to come to the doctor with you and hear what the doctor says. Tell her that this is not about not wanting too or IQ that it is about keeping your daughter healthy. Tell her that when she makes her comments it hurts. Over time your daughter will become intune with you and the way you feel around your sister and may even hinder there realationship. I have two health girls one 7 and the other 2 both bottle feed one because I couldn't bring myself to do it and the other because my milk just would not come in. Your daughters health and well being is formost and in my opinion you are doing what every other mom would do if they just understood! Good Luck.

You are in a sibling rivalry situation and it's tough...I know I have two older sisters. Remember that she is telling you things because she wants to make sure you have the best information available. Unfortunately, life doesn't always allow us to follow such ideals.
(I breastfed my daughter for 9 months. She self weaned...wouldn't even drink pumped breastmilk...I felt so rejected but I also realized she got what she needed and I did the best I could for her.)
Always remember you are doing the best you can for your daughter!!!!
A suggestion on how to respond to your sister:
"Thank you for the information." Or "My situation is different. I am doing the best I can. Thank you for your support." You might even ask her to ease off the advice. Being a mother is overwhelming on its own...backseat drivers just complicate the situation.
Good Luck...and enjoy your daughter no matter what!!

S.,
It sounds like you are doing everything you can to what is right by your daughter. B/f is best but if your body will not keep up with your daughter then it could be detrimental for her.
I am sure your sister has a hard time understanding why she can b/f and you cannot. A lot of people who b/f do not understand.
I myself had the supply of a cow, but my sister had nothing. All of our children turned out normal and have grown like weeds.
Please don't beat yourself up by this. There are so many mothers who have the same problem. Thank the Lord there many varieties of formula.
Please take good care and don't feel inferior.
God's Best,
C.

Don't let you sister make you feel bad. I have tried desperatly to breastfeed 2 of my 3 children, I even tried pumping and then feeding the breastmilk from the bottle it just didn't work out for me. My son has been formula fed for 3 1/2 of his 4 months. At 3 months he had a test to see where his ability's are and he tested in the 6 month range. He is gaining well and happy/healthy. While breastmilk is "best" Formula fed babies do just as well.

you need to sit down with your sister and have a little heart to heart with her. this is not the last time she's going to dish out her little criticisms and you need to put a stop to it now before you end up going off on her. a little advice now and then is helpful but it should never leave you feeling like a bad mom or person. especially over something you have NO control over! you know your child and you know whats best for her so just trust you instincts. and as far as IQ, brain development is most important in the first three years of a childs life. it's what you do then that matters! go to brainwonders.com to learn more, then maybe YOU could tell your sister a thing or two about IQ! besides, i know several people who were breast fed and they are dumb as rocks, so it must not be that important for IQ.