Need Ideas for Behavoir Chart for ADHD & ODD Boy.

I wish I could help! I am in the same boat my with daughter- If youget any good advice will youpass it on!

-with understanding!
C.

I too have a child with AD/HD and what we found that helped is Handiponts.com. You can go in and customize your chore chart and it can all be managed online. The biggest thing for us is that he has to be held accountable for his actions. He is not on any meds. We do use Attend, which my local health food store ordered in for me. There are 2 other products that can be taken with Attend but we found that the Attend by itself worked just as well. My son is 9 and seems to be doing much better. Positive Reward works alot better than picking at the negative. Everyday is a learning process for me. Hang in there and always count your blessings.

I guess I have a different tactic than most on this...because I know from experience that all the "reward chart" stuff is simply fluff that isn't going to make a difference in the long term.

I have two boys with AD/HD and I was diagnosed with AD/HD myself at the age of 8. I put my mom through a lot of mental anguish! I was put on many different types of stimulant medication, all of which had negative side-effects and did not improve my quality of life in any way....so I was certainly skeptical when it came to treating my boys.

I searched the internet for alternatives to medication and found Native Remedies' BrightSpark and Focus. These are both herbal remedies for AD/HD....and they work GREAT! I started my older son (age 7) on it at the beginning of the school year. I just recently started my 5 year old on Focus....the difference is like night and day.

I suggest that you go to the site and read for yourself. www.nativeremedies.com

Also, check out the book "Ritalin is Not The Answer" by Stein. It is an eye opener. It explains thoroughly why these chore-chart reward systems simply don't work for an ADHD child...and it explains what DOES work. I've used these methods with both of my boys very successfully.

Good luck!

This is what I do for my ADHD 7 year old son.

I printed a list of chores cut them out and laminated them. I keep them in an envelope and he picks 3 things for the week. It kind of helps to keep things switched up.

I have a list of things that need to be done by him. He's responsible for marking them off when he's done.
Stuff like brushing his teeth, getting dressed, making his bed, etc. If he does well he gets to earn something special.

I used to have a lot of behavior issues but those have corrected and I don't really track those anymore. But I kept a jar of marbles, each week he got so many marbles. If he made the choice to break a house rule, a marble got removed, once a marble was removed it could not be earned back. If he kept a certain amount he got to have a prize. Like a trip to McDonalds, rent a movie,etc.

So he had the chance of earning 2 special things a week.

Now that the behavior is more self regulated and I don't have to track it, things are still earned. A good bedtime earns cartoons in the morning. A good morning earns something he wants in the afternoon, etc. So if Jaydin asks for something, I will say okay but you need to show that you have earned it.

I used Jungle chart you can find it on the web. You can customize the charts.

I feel for you and I know what you are going through. My son is 14 and I'm still having problems with him at home. School is a little better now that he's in High School but I'm not sure some days who it's tougher for me or him. How I have worked the chart for home progress is when he gets up in the morning and doesn't start fights with the girls 4 out of 5 mornings then at the end of the week he can rent a video game for the weekend. When he comes home after school and does his daily chores 4 out of 5 days then on a weekend afternoon we'll go have lunch at mcdonalds or sonic or maybe just go get a slush from sonic one afternoon. I hope this is helpful and if you need someone to talk to just drop me a line and we can chat for a while. Good luck to you.

Hi, H. -

I highly recommend the Nurtured Heart Approach behavior chart. This workbook has great ideas.

http://www.amazon.com/Transforming-Difficult-Child-Workbo...

Best of luck.
Dr. K. Jordan (licensed psychologist)

My advice is find a new therapist. ODD will only get worse if left untreated. It can evolve into Conduct Disorder and later, Anti-Social Personality Disorder. You need a good therapist to join with you as you work to behaviorally treat your son. If you don't feel like you are getting what you need from your therapist, find a new one who listens and understands that you are wanting to change your environment at home. I would suggest looking for a family therapist or a behavioral therapist. If you can find a therapist who has training in Parent Management Training (PMT) that would be ideal. It sounds like some of his negative behaviors may have been unintentionally reinforced which are causing problems now. A PMT or behavioral (there are family therapists who specialize in behavior therapy as well) therapist would be on the same page as you.

Good luck!

When my daughter was younger we used poker chip, at school they used beans, anyways she was given one for good behavior and had to give one back for bad behavior and then could cash them in at the end of the week for cash at home and a prize at school. I would limit what she could by with the cash it had to be book, puzzle or something else educational. She could get food with it but it had to be healthy no junk food. It worked well with her as much as she hated to turn them in for bad behavior. The counseling really helped her I think they need someone to talk to about their feeling Mom just someone they want to share things with sometimes for some reason. I wish you the best of luck I know it is very difficult and times you want to scream but they do grow up and say thank you, at least my daughter did.

Call your doctor and let them know that school time is going great now, but home is bad and that you need help there too..... They can change the dose or find an extended release medication that will help cover on into the evening hours for you.

I know mine ADHD son was still in young and having problems that he took a higher dose in the morning and then went to the nurse torward the end of the day and took a 5mg medication to get him through the evening. he had to take it early enough so it would be through his system so he would sleep at night still too, that is why he took it around 3:00 at school.

Hope this helps.

Good morning, H.!

Some ideas - rather than advice - from a G..

How about what used to be called a caper chart? This was something used in the Girl Scouts listing all the jobs and who was responsible for doing them and seeing they were accomplished.

You could sit down with your son, list all the jobs in the household (yours included) and which should be done on a certain day of the week. Each day that particular job is done and done right, the person responsible is given a star sticker (available at craft stores or WalMart). The 'jobs' for him could be 1) Wearing a smile; 2) going to school; 3) feeding the rat; 4) Make Bed/clean room; 5) put away clothes; 6) Do homework. Your jobs go without saying - the things you do each day.
Awarding of the stars each day could be done by you and your son - he would award his stars and you yours. A star would only be awarded IF each job listed was done and done correctly - and with NO harping from Mom and NO complaining, moaning or groaning. At the end of each week, all the stars would be added up and a "prize" could be given - maybe the top prize could be a trip to McDonald's for a job VERY WELL DONE (Maybe this could be used if ALL jobs were completed each day without any back-talk!).

Of course, when he is old enough to take on more responsibility, that job needs to be added - like take out the trash!

Included on his chart might be his day in school - did he do his best, try his hardest, achieve his goal? At the end of the week, or whenever he brings papers home from the previous week, if he did good you might want to give him a ribbon to hang in a special place (maybe a bulletin board made in the shape of a loving cup - this could be made out of cork cut to the shape and covered in gold colored cloth (or even an old bulletin board cut into the shape you want and covered in gold). Maybe he could even help make it - he might try harder to get a ribbon to put on there!) These cost about $1 for good job, etc, and he could be awarded these instead of stickers for schoolwork. And, if he got a note from a teacher telling of accomplishments, these might be placed on that bulletin board also.

It has always been a challenge to raise a child, but never more than today. I wish you and your son every good thing. Just two thoughts - remember to stick to what you say; always see that the punishment fits the crime and give your son plenty of love.

G.

I, too, have had ADD (without the hyperactivity) since I was a child, and my brother has ADHD. We haven't grown completely out of it like many children do, but we've both learned to deal with most of our symptoms without medication. Both of us still get labeled, though--even as adults--by people who don't know what ADD/ADHD is like. Therefore, it saddens me to see you call your son a "pain in the butt of a lil boy."

I realize that it can be extremely frustrating to deal with this, and maybe you were just having an especially difficult day when you posted. Still, it sounds like maybe Mom needs to do some homework, too.

ADHD is not easy for your son, either. A lot of people think it's just about "trying harder." I wish that was the case!

What most people don't realize is that focusing on a task (or a list of tasks) takes a lot of mental effort for an ADDer. After you spend 8+ hours trying to focus, when you get home, you're mentally wiped out.

Think of studying for a test on a difficult subject--and then think about how much harder it is when you're being interrupted every few moments by other people. That's what it's like *all the time* for an ADDer... except it's not always just other people--it's thoughts, sounds, smells, sights... It takes time to learn to tune some of those things out, and it's also not easy to switch focus once we're finally focused on something or "zoned out." So your son is likely not ignoring you on purpose!

Some things to consider:

*Does your son have some time to just unwind and "zone out" when he gets home, or is he expected to jump right in to do his chores or homework?

*Have you talked to the ODD counselor to see what she is trying to accomplish with the board games and talking? Is she experienced with ODD? Either way, if you don't like the answers you're getting, or the therapy doesn't seem to help, maybe it's time to seek out a second opinion. Still, I'd talk to her first.

*Discipline, not punishment. For instance, does grounding him actually help correct the behavior, or is it just a punishment? A month is a pretty long time for a 7.5 year old, and if he sees no end in sight, there's really no incentive for him to try.

*You may want to check out: http://www.adders.org/

HTH! Good luck!
--A.