Need Help with Bi-racial Daughter's Hair Breakage

Updated on July 12, 2009
S.C. asks from Hanover Park, IL
19 answers

I am in desperate need of some hair help for my daughter. She is 18 months old, half Native American and half African American with a head full of curly, curly black hair. I've been tying her hair back in pigtails and ponytails for like the last 6 months or so. Just last week I noticed there were tiny bumps around her hairline right above her forehead. And, I also noticed that her hairline is becoming somewhat thinner. It almost makes this wide U-shape at the top of her hair. Now, I've come to conclusion that I have probably been tying her hair back too tight and probably with the wrong type of hair ties, too. I've been using the Goody Ouchless hair ties, which I thought were okay to use. Since then I have left her hair down as much as I hate to. She's goes to daycare everyday and plays outside and having her hair down only makes her head sweat more.

I use organic products on her hair made for specifically bi-racial hair. I only wash her hair twice a week and I keep it pretty moisturized. I don't think it has anything to do with the products since I've been using them for the last 8 months with no problems.

Now, to my questions: how do I tie her hair back without it being so tight? She has really curly hair and if it's not tight then all her curls just fall out. What type of hair ties should I be using? And, most importantly, will this "thinning" area grow back and is there anything I can put on this area to help this hair grow back in this area? I'm the Native American side of her so this curly, thick hair, breakage situation is all new to me. Somehow my older daughter was born with hair similar to mine, so caring for both their hair is like night and day. Any advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, mom!
It's been quite a number of years for me to have to deal with "hair", but if I remember correctly, instead of pulling back the hair, try gently brushing and pulling "forward". That way the stress on the hair is from the stronger area of the scalp. If you must tie or bind, make it a loose wrap of the tie, and allow the hair breathing space. I have two daughters, both African American. One had hair that was quite thick and unruly, the othe was more on a thinner side, such as my own. Both had very soft hair, that accepted every bit of "fuzz" blown their way. I did a lot of braiding in their youth, and I had the same problem of bumps and thinning, when I was heavy handed in the manipulation. I had to learn to not be so worried about how perfect it looked and more aware of their comfort. They are both in their thirties now, and my oldest is a mother of two, one is a girl who challenges the "hair ritual" daily (smile) Hope this helps
B.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Head bands, barrettes, bandanas, ribbons, etc. you can pull the sides up with the top with 1 rubberband (not newspaper type rubberband). Don't pull tight. An Indin braid on the back of the neck is cool and comphy too.

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C.R.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S. - My daughter has very curly hair and I am a nanny to a little girl who has extremely curly and think hair. So I can relate to you.
I believe there are rubber bands that are called ouch-less you might try those or pulling her hair partially back with barrettes (larger ones might work best). Also rubber bands that are more of a cloth texture than a rubber would also help.
When ever you pull her hair back make sure it is dry. I would take any rubber bands or barrettes out of her hair while she sleeps.

As far as the hair thinning it should grow back because she is so little. I don't know of any products that would help new hair growth that I would recommend for a child. In general scalp massage and vitamins help with hair re-growth.

I hope this is helpful!
C.

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T.H.

answers from Chicago on

I would take her to a black salon. They will show you how to take care of her hair. If you could what state you live in I may be able to help to you find a salon.. I'm from Chicago and I know about so many salon that promotes healthy hair..Or you could ask your husband family to show you how to take care of her hair.. Good luck!! God Bless!!

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N.J.

answers from Chicago on

I know lots of people think braids and things but that really depends on how curly your daughter's hair is and how long. My daughter is bi-racial with tons of ringlet curls. Her hair isn't really frizzy. But I use lots of products for her hair. I wash her hair with shampoo and conditioner for curly hair and I use a mousse and smoothing gloss in her hair. I can put it up or style it down. I use the tiny ouchless hairties by scunci. The thicker the hair the more heavy of product you want to use. By heavy I mean moisturizing. The cause of breakage is usually over washing or undermoisterizing hair. One brand that I have heard is good but have not yet tried is called Carol's Daughter. It is a very popular all natural brand geared towards black women and children. Braids are often done very tight and can cause breakage and loss just as much as what you are already doing. You could try leaving it down and parting it on the side and adding a decorative clip. There are also many websites about bi-racial hair. Good Luck. By the way I have stick straight hair and I am white I just happen to have a family full of beauticians. I have cousins with naturally curly hair and they are not bi-racial. So I have grown up knowing how to treat all types of hair. You don't have to be black to know how to treat your bi-racial daughter's hair.

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

If it is long enough do a couple french braids. Starting on top and braid back. Do use a regular rubber band, make sure it is covered or use small barrettes at the end of each braid.
My girl friends daughter is 1/2 Hispanic and 1/2 African American and she puts her hair in pig tails and uses the cloth covered pieces of elastic. She makes them herself.

Hope this helps.

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D.K.

answers from Chicago on

I have naturally curly hair as well. If I were you, I would stop pulling your daughter's hair back so tight. Not only are you damaging her scalp and hair, it hurts! If you must pull it back, do it more gently, with a loose ponytail, this is sometimes easier if you do 2 ponytails, or with a head band (the kind that wrap all the way around the head, not the ones that pinch behind the ears), or with a bandana (bandanas may be nice for you if it bothers you to see the fly-aways), or just use a couple barrettes to keep the hair out of her face. She is 18 months, she doesn't care about the frizz and fly-aways, but I am sure she will greatly appreciate not having her head hurt all of the time.

I work for a beauty company that makes hair products, but I would never put chemicals on my daughter's head. Again because she doesn't care that she has crazy hair, she actually likes it like that (she is almost 3).

Good Luck,
D.

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J.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S. The rubber are probably to tight. There are other hair products you can use instead of rubber bands. Braid her hair around the thin areas. This will help it grow back. In fact at her age , she should just have braids in her hair(more than two pigtails)any way. You said your husband is African American, I know his family should be able to help you with her hair. Most African American know how to braid and care for curly or coarse hair. I am also an African American

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G.V.

answers from Chicago on

Hey S.,

Like the other post mentioned, using a good shampoo/conditioner in the hair will help restore strength and promote growth. Use an all natural shampoo/conditioner. You can find these at Sally's beauty salon.

The kinds of hair bands I use on my girls' hair is one you can get at Target that states no stripping/pulling. I would stay away from the rubberbands as this does make the breakage worse.

Instead of always pulling her hair back with bands, have you tried braiding her hair? Or using hair clips, bobby pins to keep the hair out of her face?

I had this same problem with both my daughters' hair. I braided their hair most of the time until I saw it grow back. When I would tie it back, I used olive hair oil in the front, around the hair line, in order to prevent breakage.

Hope these tips help.

GV

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M.A.

answers from Chicago on

There's a book called Curly Girl by Lorraine Massey, that has pretty much changed how I care for my hair. I strongly recommend it for straight haired moms with curly haired daughters. The biggest help has been to stop shampooing. I haven't shampooed in YEARS and my hair has never looked better. I scrub my head with conditioner twice a week instead of shampoo, rinse, then leave in conditioner and use a little gel or Fanstasia Zero Frizz. I also twist it once or twice a week when wet to lock the spiral curl in and ward off frizz. I use scrunchies to make pony tails and don't pull them very tight. All of my neices have curly hair and we do the same with theirs. My daughter, alas, has straight hair and I have no clue what to do with hers!

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P.L.

answers from Chicago on

Have you thought about trying headbands? They would pull the hair away from her face more gently than the ponytails. You could use either the hard plastic ones - or go with the stretchy cloth ones -which may absorb the sweat as well.. Good Luck

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S.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.,

I have a 5 year old African-American daughter (adopted) and have really educated myself about her hair care. The white bumps are definitely from pulling too hard, and the pulling itself can cause breakage. I'd use cloth-covered rubber bands only. And I know what you're saying about the fuzzies hanging out, but they're only there because they're broken pieces of hair. How about using some gel instead, to try to keep them at bay? Choose one with no petroleum products in it. "Let's Jam" gel is a popular one, and most Jewel/Oscos and Walgeen's have it. You can use the gel one day, and then wet her hair a bit (I use an olive oil and water combo in a spray bottle to moisturize and give it some shine too) the following days to "reactivate" the gel. You might just have to put up with those fuzzies for a while until the broken stuff grows out. Also, you might consider hair do's that involve more parts, (multiple braids, twists, ponytails all over her head) so more of the short hair can get gathered up. I sure hope that makes sense! There are many yahoo group sites where people chat about African-American hair stuff. I can send them to you if you're interested.

Good luck!

S.

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

I am bi-racial also and when my hair is washed it is very curly so I often flat iron it sso that I can put it up without my hair being all over the place.. I suggest that you do not use rubberband they brake hair. I use Goodie ouchless pontail holders in my hair. Alsowhen i was younger my mother would get my hair braided (cornrolls)and it would be out of my face and she would not have to comb it for a week.. but the only problem with that is you have to take th braids down and comb the hair and wash it before you get it braided again..
I hope that I wa helpful.

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S.W.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S. C, be careful pulling your daughter's hair back in to tight ponytails. The white bumps are a sign that the hair is being pulled too tight. If this keeps up you can permanently damage the hair follicles around her hairline. Loosen the ponytails at night or take the rubber bands out and let her sleep in a satin bonnet alternating nights. Massage the area of her hairline to stimulate it. Have you tried using the strength bubbles to hold her hair together instead of rubber bands or soft scrunchies? You can find these in the beauty section at Wal-Mart, Walgreens or CVS. She's young so her hair will grow back. Alternate her hair style so you are not always pulling the hair back. Instead of high and back ponytails, try low and to the front. You want to be careful not to set a pattern of pulling the hair back all the time.

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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

I have one word for you: Braids!
You definitely can't do pony tails all the time. In addition to the thinning hair... she will also get headaches! Learn how to french braid. I'm just a white woman but had very long, very curly hair as a child (my dad thought girls had to have long hair) and it sucked! My mom had my hair in braids all the time.
My other suggestion would be a shorter, chin-length or shoulder-length hair cut with layers.... Much easier to care for.

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

Ah, the journey of how to mangage curly hair begins! I as well have curly, biracial texture hair and I specialize in doing biracial and black children's hair. Curly hair is beautiful, but hard to deal with especially because all the "don't"s that apply to straight hair are in essence the "do's" for curly! Here are some suggestions:
*Try to only comb through her hair when it's wet. Combing through curly hair when it's dry is when the most breakage occurs.
*Do not use rubber bands or bands with metal binds. These break all hair types.
*To avoid breakage around the hairline, you don't want to pull that tight to get it into a ponytail. If you're having trouble keeping the hair in the ponytail, try smaller ones so you don't have to pull so tight, like 2 or 4 or 6. Also, if you know how to french braid or cornrow that would be great, because, done properly (and THAT is the key) braids can help the hair grow while causing you less work! But you have to find someone who knows how to braid well. Some people can braid but they don't do it properly, causing bumps on the edges and breakage.
*I recommend the brand Kinky Kurly. They have a leave in called "Knot today" and a stylant called "Curling Custard." The product is organic and all natural, which I love. I use the leave in on all of the kids hair I do, whether it's styling or braiding. You can find it at http://www.kinky-curly.com.
*The hair will grow back around the hairline once it stops being pulled out.
*Do not use petroleum based products because it clogs the pores and actually prevents growth.
I hope this helps some, if you want feel free to email me!
D.

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M.A.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.;
I am an Afro-American Mother of 2 Adult girls and 4 grands of which two are girls. Both with soft curly hair.
Well for one you are blessed to have such a beautiful daughter I'm sure. But yes you may be pulling it back a little tight for her head because her hair follicles are still developing. A light Q-tip of Witch Hazel is great treatment for those little bumps. Use the little cotton or synthetic pony tail holders or barettes with grasps for infants and toddlers.
But around the hairlines kind of oil the scalp a little
to ease up the tightness and strain of the pulling back of the hair. Her scalp may be dry (the afro-american side) of her hair. Know this that we have kinky hair period which may need oil if our hair isn't regularly brushed. But I'm sure someone else may have some more advise. which you use your judgement or even ask Dad's Mom if available. She should be able to better tell you how because every family's hair is different and if there's girls in his family-there you are. God Bless and may His favor fall on you for an even answer.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use? If you use a cheap one, it may be causing her hair to dry out - especially if it has alcohol or other "fragrances" in it. I use some great botanically based products and awesome detox hair mask to make the hair so silky smooth. Our hair is technically "dead" so using the right products is essential to keeping it healthy. The detox mask will rid the hair of the "junk" that was left behind from previous products.

I would be happy to provide you with more information. Sorry, can't help with the hair bands but I know you don't ever use rubber bands on your hair. What about cute barretts? The haircare you are using can also be causing the bumps because it is clogging her pores. Again, all can be remedied with the right products! Let me know how I can help.

K.
Wellness Consultant

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G.J.

answers from Chicago on

Dear S. C

Try using a barrett clip for thick curly hair and try not to clip it too tight at the nape of the neck (that is whats causing the little bumps). To avoid the bumps in the front, part her hair down the middle instead of pulling it back. Hope this helps.

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