Need Help!! My Son Uses Me as a Pacifier and He Won't Stop!!

Hi,

I also have an 11 month old boy who nurses. I have found the information in Mothering magazine to be really informative and helpful regarding breastfeeding. I recently read this article about the benefits of nursing past the first year: http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/breastfeeding/...

Several health organizations, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, recommend nursing until the end of the second year. While your boy may be needing less nutrition from you than he did as a newborn, your milk is still important. Also, he's not using you as a pacifier....a pacifier is a substitute for you! There is still a very strong need to suck and to connect with you as he goes through all these changes. He's not trying to manipulate you. Of course it's comforting to have you there.

The idea behind attachment parenting, which includes sleeping with your child and nursing, is that the more you respond appropriately to your baby's needs, the more confident and independent they will be later. I have seen this to be true in my older son, age 12.

It is super stressful to go back to work, you're right! So this may be a time when nursing AND nursing to sleep may really help both of you transition.

You can follow this less harsh method...it will take a bit longer, but it will work! I got this idea from the "no cry sleep solution."
As he starts to drift off to sleep, remove your nipple...he will root for it, use your hand to gently push his chin to close his mouth. He will get mad, count to ten then give him back the nipple. Let him get settled and just as he is drifting off, remove your nipple, he will root, you gently push his chin, he'll get mad, after counting to ten, give him back your nipple. This will go on and on the first night, but keep your patience and keep counting to ten. Over the course of the next few weeks you'll start to notice an improvement, and before you know it, he will actually turn away after you remove your nipple!
I am sure cry-it-out works, but if you don't feel that is the right method for your child, as I didn't, then you are willing to work with your baby to smooth the transition for him. Good Luck!

Hi I am a mommy of a 3 yr old daughter and 9 month old daughter. I breastfed both, my first was just like your son! She used my breast as the pacifier and her being comforted was comforting to me as well. I was lucky she weened herself after 7 months. But I do think that you just have to start to ween him off. He will cry, but it should dwindle down a little every night. You don't want a toddler still sleeping on your boob I am sure. It is probably much like getting my girls to get to sleep through the night, I had to let them cry some, but in the long run we are all happier at night for it. Good luck.

Well now...babys cry and that is just the way it is! He wont stop using you as a pacifier because you let him silly lady! :0) I am sure you know that.
I bet you have some sadness going on that your baby is growing up so fast so my guess is that this "ritual" is not only soothing for him but for you as well Mom.....am I getting warm? Brestfeeding is just for comfort after the first 12 months...they get no nutritional value from your brest milk after the first year ONLY COMFORT.
Have you tried a real pacifier or bottle? It is sad to say but you will just have to let him cry if the others don't work. I would say still lay with him but keep your milk makers under wrap! :0) Rub his head, and cheeks...stroke his arms and back...hum or sing, cradle and rock him......ANYTHING!
It is up to you to stop this because if you let him he will continue HE IS A BABY, you are the Mommy! I am not trying to lecture you dear J. just trying to give you a push and a little boot in the rearend! :0) I am sure you know that it is up to you to stop enabling your little man. Good luck to you, stay strong and use your new found " good Mommy sense".

Peace~Love~Light
V.

J. S
You are not alone. This happened to me too. I breastfeed my daughter for the first year and the hardest part was at night. I found "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, very helpful. I started weaning her by removing my nipple as soon as she fell asleep. Then I started to do it right before she fell asleep and comforted her in other ways (rubbing her back worked well). If she woke up and was screaming then I let her suck again and it started over. It sounds horrible but I really did notice progress after a couple of days and by a week and then two it worked. I will admit that I kept her in bed with me and that helped. Hope this helps!

N. S

Call the Kona Coast La Leche League! ###-###-#### There are soo many things to try... Good luck!

All the answers sound good

It's true you have allowed this and I AM THINKING YOU MIGHT NEED SOME SUPPORT NOT TO ALLOW OTHER THINGS ALONG THE ROAD
AND MAKE ''A ROD FOR YOUR OWN BACK'' AS THE SAYING GOES

Yes, you are the adult - please don't expect HIM to be the parent, you make the decisions (many of which, in life, he may not like) not him.