Need Help Getting My One Year Old to Sleep

I have a eight month old and until she was 6 months old she sleep with me while my husband slept on the sofa. He didn't mind because she wouldn't sleep in her bassinet and would wake up so often we weren't sleeping. He know I was not ready to put her in her crib. Anyway, we started out by putting her in the crib for naps and to play sometimes. Then we started putting her in their at night. It was harder on me than her. But she sleeps really well in there now. Hope that helps.

S. -

Many of our friends and just many parents these days have an open policy re their bed - to their kids. You can read about this and helping little ones get to sleep at www.askdrsears.com

I think your little Coral is just letting you know that she finds your comfort so helpful. We tend to push our kiddos towards independence so early on in our culture here. There are so many other cultures, actually most other cultures that do not do this with their children. You might want to take things at Coral's pace, more into consideration - it seems she is trying to tell you what she needs.

Alli

Hi S.,

I admire any woman who is a single mom. It is hard work and you have to do it all on you own. It is easy for us to fall into the trap of allowing our babies to sleep with us especially when you are alone. But, as you know, now you have created a "monster". The only solution is to allow her to cry herself to sleep. As cruel as that may sound, it usually only takes about 3 days. My 14 month old grandson, Jace, has developed the same problem because we live in a very old house where two of the bedrooms are conjoined. Because of this he has been allowed to come to our bed at night when he cries or be rocked in the living room (he has lived with us since he was 4 months old) rather than wake the two other children sleeping in the next room. Funny thing is, in the day time when it is nap time...no problem. He lays down and goes right on to sleep. It is ONLY at night that we have the issue. That is proof that he knows what he is doing. Babies are born manipulators...we have to teach them different.
My advice, let her cry herself to sleep. Go in and check on her in 5 min and then extending it each time for 5 mins. Soothe her with your voice, telling her she is ok...just don't pick her up. It is hard, but it works. Sometimes, it works best to not go in at all.
Good luck and God Bless!

We let both our little ones sleep with us too. We recently transitioned our 1 year old to the crib. First step was to get her to connect sleeping with the crib. Start with naps. Once she realized that what she was supposed to do there, we started teaching her to put herself to sleep. We would do our normal nighttime routine. It took a while, patting, lullaby music, reading. We would sit in a chair beside the bed. After a few weeks, we are able to lay her in the crib and leave the room. She falls asleep on her own. She fusses a little sometimes, but no more than a few minutes. If she gets really upset, I will go in and give her a hug or a pat. I'm not a cry it out sort of person and have the dark circles to prove it. It worked for us. Good luck!

Might not be what you are looking for, but enjoy every monent she lets you rock her. Soon she will be a big girl sleeping in a big girl bed. I had two co-sleepers and my last refused. He liked his space. I miss waking up and seeing them next to me, so sweet.

Boy do I know what you are going through, my daughter was 5 before we got her out of our bed, LOL, she's 23 now. I would suggest just putting her in the crib with some soft music. that use to work with my granddaughter, she's a one yr old. I wish you luck with that.

L.

S., why would you want to stop rocking and singing her to sleep? These are cherished times for the 2 of you that you will never get back. One day she will not fit on yor lap to rock her and sing to her and help her through the tough times so enjoy these times. When you have a few days off, I would suggest starting to train her to go to her crib. Get her to sleep and put her in her bed. If she wakes in the night, repeat this process. It may take a few days but you must remain consistant with the process. Remember what she knows is sleeping with you so you must teach her to sleep in her bed now and eventually, she will know this is where she goes nite nite. Best of luck to you

Hello S.,

I suggest infant massage. There are Infant Massage Therapists out there that teach parents the concept of massage to their babies. There should be some in your city. Maybe at your local hospital. Some are doulas, lactation consultants, RNs, child birth eduators that double as Infant Massage Therpist Instructors. I'm experienced in infant massage...it's beautiful to watch! Good luck & best wishes S..

D. Peña, LMT
Licensed Massage Therapist

This may not be what you want to hear, but it is purely my opinion. Use the Ferber method (you can google it). It really works. I used it on my 7 month old, and it worked in less than 3 days. I sat outside her room and cried while she wailed, but it really worked. She is and has been since then SO easy to get to sleep(she is 2.5 yrs now). Bite it in the but now otherwise you will be like a parent on supernanny with screaming kids all night long. She will not remember any of this anyways. Best of luck!

You'll have to lay her down and let her cry. It's absolutely MISERABLE and the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, but DO NOT go back in there until morning. It will be the worst night of your life, but it'll only be one night and then you'll not have to worry about it ever again. Be firm, Mom. You're her mother, not her best friend.

Hi Carol's mom,

All in good time dear will these things take place. If you do something drastic and she doesn't understand I fear she will be traumatized and learn not to trust you. There are enough things in the world to cry about but it shouldn't be about sleep.

You can ease her into this by taking definite and purposed baby steps. Do be structured and consistent. It could take a week or month. But she's one and is still getting use to the outside world.

Where does she take a nap in the daytime Do you nap with her? If so, then wait until she is really asleep and move her to her crib every day to give her an idea that things are going to change. You can do th same thing at night. Make bedtime earlier as well as naptime. Then when she goes to speep you will have some me time.

Does she do other things independently? Give her more independence with activities that don't require your up close and personal supervision. She is very connected to you and that is good. But she must be comfortable with her own company.

As for the rocking you are doing good. Rocking helps develop balance and rhythm and many other things. A johnnyjumpup could do the same thing but in an upright way. It could also wear her out. Which is a great thing to do. And it creates independance. Rocking also creates a bond between you. Children need to know what comfort is and where to go to get it when they need it. But do shorten the time you rock if it is too much more than 30 minutes. So, make a plan, use it make adjustments, and achieve you loving goal for Cora.

Oh yeah please understand that I am a creative person and give lots of ideas for you to choose and create for yourself what works.

Good luck!