Need Help Getting 9-Mo.-old to Sleep Through the Night Again
Updated on
December 10, 2006
L.C.
asks from
Austin, TX
8
answers
My daughter slept through the night a few months ago after we finally tried the cry it out method for a little while. Very hard, but worth it for some sleep! Now she is waking up and instead of just fussing and falling back to sleep, she cries harder and harder, eventually crying like she's forcing it out--she sounds mad! Even when I wait a while to see if she'll fall back asleep, it just escalates. I try not to feed her when I go to her, but usually that's what I have to resort to. She is not on a schedule during the day, and I don't know if this has anything to do with it or not. She only falls asleep after she's been breastfed or in her carseat--although I'm going to try to start scheduling feeding/naps today! I didn't think this was a problem because she usually takes 1-2 short naps in the car, and a 1-2 hour nap after eating in the middle of the day. Last night she woke up VERY frequently. Even when my husband took her to bed with him (I slept in the guest room near her so I could hear her when she woke up without waking my husband up) he said she would fall asleep and then toss and turn and wake up. He finally brought her back in to me and through my sleep-deprived delirium, it seemed like she just ate all night long in between small periods of sleep. Other than letting her cry it out, which I'm really going to try again, any other suggestions?? I need sleep! Ok we all do. :) Also I'd rather not have to take her to the doctor just to have to pay to have my questions answered. P.S. She is teething, but amazingly it doesn't seem to hurt her. Whenever she's upset, it's always that she's hungry or something. I've heard that babies who've slept through the night regress, and that it's 'normal', but I still don't know what to do! Thanks!
Update: Tonight she woke up and I must have been really out of it, because I just immediately got up and fed her, then realized I should have waited a while. I put her back to bed when she fell asleep, and she was awake and crying 5 minutes later. I let her cry for what seemed like 20 minutes/forever, and finally I couldn't take it anymore so I picked her up and she laid her head on my shoulder and was quiet instantly. She finally fell asleep, but I still don't know what to do. If I go to her, at intervals or not, and lay her back down on her stomach to try to rub her back, she just pushes up on her hands and sits up. If I lay her on her back to try to rub her tummy, she just rolls back and forth with her arms outstretched, trying to get up. Both ways she is crying the whole time. I want her to be able to fall asleep on her own without me having to soothe her back to sleep, but then again, if I go to her right away, and hold her to calm her down, will she be less worked up and better off in the end than if I let her yell her head off? Also, tonight, it seemed like she wasn't crying like she used to--now it's more forced--in the middle of the cry, she 'pushes it out' so it starts 'regular' and then she forces it out, and keeps crying. I don't know if any of this is making any sense because it's past 3 am, but I'm trying to explain it as much as possible to try to get some good advice. Oh yeah I tried giving her a teether and she won't have it, and she stopped taking a pacifier a long time ago other than to play with it.
Thank you everybody for your suggestions and advice! We are all finally getting more sleep. I went to her doctor to see if there was something I was maybe forgetting that could have been the root of the problem. He said that going to her when she cries just reinforces her behavior, so we needed to stop doing that if we want her to sleep through the night--basically the 'cry it out' method. I was against this before, but now having been through so many sleepless nights and not knowing what else to do, that's what we tried. A few nights later, she is crying for MUCH shorter periods of time when she wakes up--a couple minutes as opposed to an hour--and falling back asleep on her own. This is what worked for her a couple months ago, and even though I didn't want to do it again, her doctor said there is no way to know if it's traumatic for her, which I was afraid of. And it's working. I guess the best solution isn't always the easiest one. Best of luck to you all and happy holidays!
You say that her teething doesn't hurt but babies find comfort in nursing from their teeth. She maybe waking up because of her teeth and sucking is her comfort. If you let her offer her her binky. I'm 2 y/o has barely started sleeping thru the night and I had two babies back to back... not recommended...lol Just remember she's only a baby once. I know you are thinking yeah right I'm tired just wait until you have to start waiting up for them when they are teenagers. Have you started solids? Is she cold? Is she wet? There are lots of things that could wake her up.
Hope this helps...
L.
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J.J.
answers from
Corpus Christi
on
Hi!! Something that worked for me and my sister in law is to give the baby a little cereal before you put her to be so that way she is a little more full and it helps them sleep a lot better. I hope this helps! J.
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E.H.
answers from
Austin
on
My daughter did the same exact thing. We actually did take her to the doctor because we thought there had to be SOMETHING wrong. It turned out there wasn't. Anyway, I did pretty much the same thing you did. Nursed her while I was sleeping just to get some sleep. She's 12 months now and sleeps through the night just fine. The crying all night episodes only happened 2 or 3 times, then just went away. I have no idea why they started or why they ended, I just wanted to let you know that you aren't the only one to have this happen and it will get better.
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M.P.
answers from
Austin
on
I'm not an expert but I have a 3 yr. old and an almost 10 mo. old so I've been there and am there with you! It sounds like teething may be a reason she's waking up but she's also hitting some milestones developmentally and both of my kids have gone through the middle of the night wakeups when they hit the different milestones - sitting up, crawling, standing, walking. She could be in a growth spurt as well - is she eating more throughout the day? If so, she may be hungry but I'm guessing that she's only eating for comfort and not really hunger. Unfortunately, I don't have any miricle solution for you - sorry - but just some encouragement...she'll eventually sleep normal again.
The "more forced" cry is most likely because she knows you come in to "rescue" her and you haven't done it yet so she's forcing herself to cry harder and longer to get your attention. She's probably exhausted at that point and almost back out. At least, my oldest did that to us all the time! We don't always let them cry it out but when my exhaustion level hits a point where my patience and energy level during the day with them is non-existent, I do let them cry it out at night so I can at least get some rest. It usually helps both of us as they realize they should just go back to sleep and I get sleep (eventually!). But that's only after I KNOW there is nothing wrong with them...which takes me a few nights.
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C.F.
answers from
Killeen
on
Often when a baby regresses after doing so well it's due to an impending milestone they are about to overcome. When a baby has a struggle of triumph, whether it be standing alone, crawling, walking or even talking - for every step forward it seems like two steps back. Thank goodness this is only temporary. However, these times produce the Queen of Cling. Babies need a little more TLC during these times to let them know when they reach out to you, you are their biggest fan and everything is ok. Wanting to nurse is a sense of extreme comfort. She may want to nurse what seems like nonstop over the next few days and hardly sleep at all. I promise you will get through it and you just might be surprised by some new thing she's been wanting to try. Hope this helps.
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P.
answers from
San Antonio
on
Hi Lindsey. I'm sorry that y'all are having sleep issues. I know they are so hard when nobody is getting enough sleep. You might try reading "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It helped with my daughter.
Hope y'all get it figured out soon.
- P.
www.tinytottowels.com
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K.W.
answers from
Lubbock
on
Sounds to me like she needs the comfort of her mama. Can you blame her? It's perfectly normal for babies her age to wake at night and need help falling back asleep.
My advice? Put her in bed with you and nurse her when she wakes at night. You'll all get more sleep and she'll be much happier.
I am completely against CIO and strict schedules, though, so my advice may not be what you want to hear.
