Having a challenge here girls...hope you can help. My 7 years old has been bothered by this other 7 year old girl in her class. We will call her M. M seems to be a spoiled little rich kid, who does need extra attention and knows how to get it...this makes my daughter angry and sad that she does not get it from other classmates. The other day M. sprained her ankle and came to school with an ace bandage on, hopping around on crutches. The next day I am told that she rolled in on a wheelchair. That day my girl insisted she wear a bandage and bring her crutches (two sticks) to school too. I told her no, and that it would only make her look silly and show everyone that she needs attention. She cried for an hour straight. Today I let her wear the ace bandage, but will not let her bring those sticks to school. I tried to tell her that she is just as important as M. and that she has a lot to offer...maybe we could make little keepsakes for each classmate. I don't know...totally confused ~ I emailed the school counselor and she will talk to her about this today. Any other advice would be appreciated. Thanx!
First of all...I just want to thank all of the compassionate mothers who responded to my situation ~ truely appreciate it! Well, I had the school counselor talk to my daughter and when she got home, it was a weight had been lifted off her...she seemed at peace. I asked her what had happened and she didn't really want to talk about it, so I let it go. I am spending more time with her and am listening to her feelings more. I am really grateful that the school she goes to has such a great counselor...wish all schools did, there would probably be less kids on drugs or getting into trouble.
Spend quality time with your daughter in the evenings... read to her before bed time, bike ride or walk in the evenings, have her wash or dry or put away evening dishes while both of you conversate about the day. Continue to not give into her about what the other classmate is doing because it will only increase as the years progress. Like I say if your friend goes jumps off a bridge, would you do that too? good luck.
You did the right thing in contacting the counselor. Don't give into silly requests to your daughter because it will become never ending. And eventually she'll do it behind your back.
I'm wondering if M. is getting any attention at home.
Maybe there is more to the story, but from what you have written in your post, it doesn't sound like the problem is with the "spoiled little rich kid". To me it sounds as if your daughter is having self esteem issues.....and it also sounds as if you are trying to place blame for these issues on M (but, like I said, I am only going by this one note and maybe M has mistreated your daughter before or something?).
Anyways, the best thing you can do is try to help raise your daughter's self esteem. Tell her how beautiful she is, allow her to invite friends over, have a party somewhere fun and allow her to invite friends from school...call it an end of the school year party or something. DO NOT allow her to pity herself when M gets attention. If she sulks when M gets attention, you need to sit her down and explain to her that it is wrong to sulk when someone else gets attention.....think through what you want to say and how you want to say it before you sit her down.
This may sound mean to you but, trust me, you will be doing your daughter a favor. I had problems like this with my youngest son (he would even get upset when his friends got awards at school and he didn't). I sat him down and explained to him that we should be happy when something good happens to someone else, especially when it is one of our friends. One of the easiest ways to lose a friend is to be mad at them when they want to celebrate their joy with you.
I would suggest you make an appointment with the school counselor (for yourself) to get clues from her on how to handle the situation as well. Because your heart is going out to your daughter (which is perfectly normal), you may not be looking at the situation clearly and you may be "babying" your daughter, which will only reinforce her negative feelings about the situation and make things worse.
I would read the boy who cried wolf with her. Faking is never a successful final solution.
S.
From your post, it sounds like a self esteem issue to me.
I agree with spending as much time with your daughter as possible, talking, talking and did I say talking..... You can talk about everything and anything except the negative things about "spoiled little rich kid".
Get her involved in something she loves. When our daughter was 7 we felt like we had tried everything to find something she liked, ballet, soccer, etc. On a whim, she went to a martial arts class with a friend and that was it. She was hooked and she loved it. She is a black belt now and can hold her own with anyone. This was something we never would have thought about trying.
Try music? When our daughter went to 6th grade, it was a requirement to do 1 yr of music. The choices were orchestra, band or chorus. She picked Orchestra because she heard the director was great and had fun classes. Little did we know....she is very musically talented.. Who would have thought that??? Again, she is very talented and in the highest level orchestra at the school, planning to continue her violin through college.
Cheerleading. Nope, I did not think she would like this but she tried out and will be a high shcool cheerleader next year.
You never know what will interest them....just try to find something your daughter can take ownership of and accomplish something she is proud of.
Hang in there....there are a lot of "spoiled rich kids" in every area, every year....you have to learn to deal with everyone.
Good luck.
This is a hard one.........perhaps you can have her take a little present for the 'hurt' girl to make her feel better - you child will be doing a kindness, good deed for the injured child.....I am not sure how she is a 'spoiled little rich kid' from what you have told me but I will share that I sprained my ankle some years back and the doc said I would have been better off and recovered sooner had I broken it....so, it could be really serious...do you know for a fact that it is a sprain? I hope the counselor can help further.........
