My husband and I found out we're expecting our 2nd baby on Christmas Eve. So I made a special gift, I bought 3 boxes that fit inside each other and in the smallest I filled it with candy and a rattle. I thought that would be a great way to tell the whole family my side and my husbands side. On christmas eve my family couldn't have been happier, you know the usual congrats, smiles and laughing with jokes. But when we were at his family's house Christmas day, nothing. Only one person said congrats and that was one of my sister-in-law's. His 2 brothers, his parents, the other sister-in-law or any of his aunts and uncle's didn't say anything. I was so crushed. I felt like no one was happy that I was going to have another baby. I've tried to put it behind me but I can't. I'm still so mad and upset I don't even want to be around them. I need to know if there is someway to let his family know how upset I am with out starting a family argument.
I want to thank everyone for their advice and congrats. We did make a comment to my mother in-law but let's just say she just made another excuse to why they did what they did. At this point I don't really care. I'm trying my hardest to let it go but as you know it's not always that easy. We've decided that if they are not interested in this pregnancy then it's their loss. In the mean time my husband and I got to see the baby's heart beat for the first time and the baby's very first picture. Again Thank You!!!
CONGRATS!!
Do not worry...I sometimes think people get jealous! I have friends who were jealous of me when I was pregnant...because my husband and I have such a great realtionship. Could this be true for you also?
Enjoy the moment...it is such a special time and let it go :-)
First of all, Congratulations!!! :)
I think that was a really cool way of telling everyone.
Maybe they didn't respond because it just hasn't sunk in yet. With the holidays and everything going on maybe they are just kind of on overload. Hopefully by next time you see or talk to them they will have had time to think about it and they will be more supportive. I think I would just let it go at this point and wait and see if they come around.
When I told my family I was pregnant with my second, they all seemed really happy except my Dad. It ended up that he was just worried about my daughter and worried that she wouldn't get enough attention or that she would be jealous. By the time my son was born, he had come around though. Some people just need time to adjust to new ideas - hopefully that's the case with your inlaws.
Try not to let them bring you down. I would have been disappointed by their reaction too. It might be best to just wait it out and give them time, but if you have to be around them a lot and they still seem hestiant about everything, I think I would say something like "I'm worried that you guys aren't really supportive of the idea of another baby." Hopefully you won't need to though and they will be bettet the next time you see them.
OK everyone has said to let it go pretty much but i had the same thing happen to me with my last baby and it does hurt... so as for the letting it go not so easy. what i did was i talked to my hunny about it and he talked to his family that way i wasn't in the middle but he let them know that i was hurt that no one seemed happy... it did some good however i still didn't have his mom come to the hospital when i was in for 3 weeks she didn't come to my baby shower and hardly said congrats... but this is how i see it, its their loss if they arnt happy and dont want to be around my wonderful children it will get better i promise!
D.-
I have to tell you, I am pregnant with my third child and when we told my in-laws you should have seen their faces and reaction. I was devastated too. My husband and I talked about it and HE told his family how disappointed he was about the whole thing. A baby, rather it is #1 or #10, is a special thing and should be celebrated. I do think that you best bet though is to have your husband talk about it, not you, it seems to go over better. I know how you feel and trust me, it will pass once you think more about that miracle growing inside you.
Hope this helps a little. S.
First of all, congratulations!!!
Second of all, get over how the family reacted. There is nothing you can do to change how they feel or modify their negative energy so why let it continue to get you down? I would be disappointed too (heck, my one sister has barely acknowledged that I have a baby and she has two kids...we've yet to see a card or a present and he's nearly one!), but quite frankly, if they choose not to deal with it then neither do I! I'd rather focus my efforts on the people who actually do care :)
just let it go. iether they didn't "get" the meaning of the gift or they are just very insensitve. either way, there isn't much you can do to change it. just revel in your own joy and the joy of your side of the family. i'm sure they come around eventually. no since in being angry, this your family too and the new babies family. you have to deal with these people from now on so it's better to just let it roll off your back and move on.
D.,
There are so many possible reasons why they reacted that way. First, is his family good with social etiquette? Some people just don't do well in social occassions. Maybe they thought the one congrats covered it for all of them.
Second, is there any reason why they might begrudge you a second child? Does your husband have several children from a previous marriage? Was his family in favor of you marrying to begin with? Can you afford the family you already have? Has your marriage been rocky? Is it too soon because your first is only 1 1/2? Have you had a miscarriage before or has anyone else? Could it be that someone on his side just lost a baby?
Either way, you have your family with your husband and children, and your side, so don't let his family ruin that. Let it go, be civil to the in-laws, and congratulations!
B.
Maybe your husbands family think it's to soon for another child. Or a financial burdon.
It really is no one elses business.
I know it put a damper on what should have been a very happy time. Were they somewhat cold with the first child? They may have been then too but your happiness may have over shadowed it.
Some people have a weird opinion on having children. My mother is one. She thinks the worse thing a woman can do is get married and have children. She has stated that if she could have hidden it from my father I would never had been born. Kind of a bummer to tell your adult child.
D.,
I am sorry you have gone through an experience as described amidst such joy in your life.
I don't know if there is a way to really say or elude to the fact you are really upset. Perhaps they are the type to "wait-and-see". Maybe they won't show any happiness or joy until you are actually showing.
I know this is easier said than done, but don't let them get to you. This is your moment of happiness to spend with your family.
Best of luck to you.
In-laws can be tough at times... Have you spoken to that one sister in law to see if she knows WHY, exactly his family is acting so strange?? I know that must be so hard for you and I pray you recieve closure on this.
God bless,
A.
