My Very Smart 2 1/2 YO Is Swearing!

Go to supernanny.com for time out tips but first your husband and you need to join teams. His critizing you is not helping you show your little one that you are boss. Hence his fowl langange to you. You are the mom not the babbysitter or a hired hand.

Your little one will stop saying the bad words if you use the supernanny time out without great emotion.
1. That words is not nice , final warning before you sit in time out
2. repeated behavor equals 2 mins in time out with explanation, do not place him near tv but where he can still see you ignoring him.
3. If he get up put him back til he sits for the 2 mins in timeout.
4. Down on his level, ask him why he was in time out and help him to remember and he can't up til he says he is sorry for not listening and using the bad words.

Spanking never worked for my little one when she would hit but the time outs get her attention and now a year later, she understands the consequence of bad behavor and empathy for others.

Here is what I wrote for a toddler that was hitting.
My advice from this link is the info about what to do, as in telling & telling over & over what words ARE acceptable/good choices & the website I linked to...

http://www.mamasource.com/request/7350601644586893313?

Wow. You've got it rough. Are you a "spare the rod, spoil the child," parent, or a "timeout" parent? I'm asking because it's kind of hard to advise you when I don't know your belief system. Although I must say, some of the suggestions I've seen here are good. I have to agree with the person who suggested you take off for a weekend and let dad handle it himself. Don't prepare anything for him and make it easy. Let him deal with the real deal, then you might start getting some cooperation out of him. Take a spa weekend...make a reservation and then just tell him after the fact.

I'd have to say that whatever you do, be consistent. If you just make threats but don't follow through, its just not effective. You could take away something he loves every time he curses, and throw it away. Warn him first that he will lose it, then the next time, throw it away and don't relent. If he sees you mean business, he will start making an effort to adjust his behavior. He's apparently smart enough to recognize what he's doing, so he will know not to take you seriously if you don't follow through. No second chances after the initial warning. Good luck.

S.

I am sure he hears these words at his day care if they are not said at home! Children these days get away with all kinds of bad things! You must make a serous consequence for him if he curses and stick to it! Whether it is time out or a corner. The nose thing is an age thing also! My 5 yr. old still does it; and I tell her to stop and get a tissue every time I catch her! PLEASE let your criticizing husband, that if he can't help you with these issues, to stay quiet and let you handle it the best way You can! Good luck!
Kathy N.

I feel for you!

Nose picking- Sounds normal. My 3 year old daughter does it too. My approach has been to ask if she needs a tissue every single time I see her do it. That usually gets the finger out of the nose. Sometimes she even takes me up on the tissue.

Swearing- Try to ignore it. If you've talked ad nauseum about how inappropriate it is, he's probably doing it for the reaction you get. Since you say he's using it properly, I'd start using my own words. Oh shoot! Oh Barnacles! (from Spongebob- my daughter loves this because she knows where it's from) Phooey!

Bedtime- A consistent routine would work the best. Could you let us know what bedtime is like? Then maybe we could help with specific suggestions.

Don't feel like a failure. 2.5 is HARD! I see you also have a special needs infant. Give yourself a break mama! Having two very young kids can be overwhelming under the best of circumstances. I have a similar age gap between my kids and I can tell you it does get easier.

You have your hands more than full. Anyone would be struggling especially with the hubby not supporting you...sounds to me like he needs a daddy weekend alone with the kids while you relax and recover and he learns what is feels like to be in your shoes...

Your son knows now it gets a rise outta ya and will keep pushing as long as it works... at least that is what my bubbly boy does..wink! I think all kids pick there nose some do it more often than others. lol I know mine has and once again the more attention I draw to it the more it happens. Who knows... I think the owners manual was lost with the placenta LOL.

Just know that your doing the best you can with what you have say a quick prayer and get on with the day knowing your a wonderful mom.

Bed time WEEEELLLL I really think when they reach almost 4 it just gets easier cause they are more able to process and understand.. there is hope sister one day it will all fall into place and you will be able to look back and laugh... that and teething tablets are fabulous!!!!

Hugs...your doing great a horrible mom wouldn't even care!
T. mother to Serenity 3.5, Santino 2, and Sephora 4months

PS. my sons behavior/eating therapist says that having a filling snack before bed "carbs such as pretzels" Help them get drowsy and stay asleep..seems to work pretty well. Nothing is full proof and he still screams ect. sometimes. He won't go down with out me lying with him.. come on 4 LOL.. not to rush the cute years wink...

You need to find the source. He is hearing these words somewhere on a regular basis. Or he WAS at some point. That source needs to be eliminated. Then you will be better able to nix his repeating them.

Why is bedtime a disaster? Get a routine, and stick to it. Kids are masters at manipulation when it comes to bedtime. Stick to the "rules" at bedtime. And maybe have a conversation with Dad about being more helpful and less critical.... (?) If he must criticize, I hope it is not in front of your son at least...

As for nose picking... that IS age related. But still offer him a tissue if he "must" do that...

Please don't feel like a failure. Your kids are fed, bathed, dressed and have a roof over their head and a mom who loves them dearly, right? So don't think you've failed. Remember, the amazing thing about little kids is that they don't have any experience in parenting, so THEY don't know if you make any mistakes... it's just the way things are. So move on past what you perceive as a mistake. They only know you as their mommy.. without all the self-comparing we moms do...
It does concern me that you said you are "made to feel" like a failure daily. Who is making you feel that way? Is someone saying that to you? Are you hyper-critical of yourself? All moms make mistakes and have days where we wish we had done things "better".. but that's just life. It doesn't make you a failure. Do you have a close friend you confide in regularly? Maybe you should set aside some "girl"time to get away from the cares of home for a few hours. Let Dad have a shot at bedtime. It's not as easy as Dad's sometimes perceive it to be. And for you, I have learned that Dad's often CAN do things perfectly for a "girls night" time. But ANYBODY can do it for a few hours... it's exponentially harder to do it day in, day out, day after day after day after day. VERY DIFFERENT. So don't compare how YOU are with the kids, to dad. It's not the same.

I feel your pain! My oldest daughter (now 4) was saying f*ck all the time when she was around 2.5. Fortunately - and UNfortunately - I know it came from her father (my husband). He's in law enforcement and a potty mouth seems to be a prerequisite for that job! I've told him over and over that it needs to stop and he says he's trying; as far as I'm concerned, no need to TRY - just STOP! I could go on and on about husbands but that's not why I'm writing, sorry! I was horrified when my daughter was using this word but read that the best thing to do was ignore it (I did try and talk to her about it first to no avail) and ignore is what ended up working. I don't remember how long it took - maybe a couple of weeks - but she eventually stopped saying it at all when I started to ignore it - THANK GOODNESS! I hope this helps you.

I'm not sure what sleep issues you are experiencing, but I always highly recommend the book 'Good Night, Sleep Tight' by Kim West - her "sleep shuffle" method worked wonderfully for both my girls (4 & 2.5) and they are great sleepers. The book is easy because you don't have to read the whole thing, only the first chapter and then the section that's appropriate to your child. I didn;t follow her method to a "t"; I modified it to my comfort level and had to be patient for a couple of weeks but it worked! I read Baby Wise and the Ferber method (both cry-it-out methods) and they weren't for me. I had to face the fact that crying is inevitably part of the process and there may be some with the "sleep shuffle", but the good part is that you are in the room with your child so they don't feel alone and abandoned - well worth the money for the book! Good luck!

Oh, by the way, nothing you can do about the nose picking (except at least try to explain not to do it in front of other people).

As

The first words my grandaughter spoke in english WERE Oh sh*t. For a while we tried to figure out where she got it, when I bumped into something and the words just came out. I was the culprit! Time for grammy to zip it. But it did go away very quickly.

As hard as it is to do, ignore him. He knows he is getting a strong reaction from you when he swears so it acts as a positive reinforcement for him. Ignore him when he talks like that and if he persists in trying to get your attention, respond by saying "I don't talk to boys with potty mouths." and go about your usual business. When he talks to you without swearing, praise him and give him the attention he is looking for, no matter how busy you are. Things can wait, acknowledge him when he uses proper behavior.