My Two Year Old's Bad Language

I also have a 2 yo who is doing the same thing. I am struggling also to get him to stop using this language. What I have been doing is, as soon as I hear him say the words I stop him and tell him NO, we do not use those words. It does help some. I do not pop him on the mouth yet, I think 2 is still a little young. I do know it will take him some time to understand that he can not use those words. Hope this helps some.

First it is NOT a phase but a disipline problem. My son who will be 4 on St. Patricks Day has been around alot of family members that use foul language, even the children in my family. My son has only said one curse word before...he said the B word, wasn't directed at anyone but didn't matter...at the time I popped him on the mouth. My usual punishment for bad behavior is a process, first I take away his favorite thing (His PlayStation 2), if that doesn't work then I make him lay on his bed or stand in the corner until I feel he's been good enough to get out, the final stage is a butt whipping. Usually if the others haven't worked spanking will do it everytime for my son. Spanking is a parenting choice so w.e it is that you know gets him to pay attention and understand the consequences then do that each and every time he curses. Out of my entire family of young men and children (all boys, I was the last female born in my immediate family) my 2 boys are the most well behaved..I hear my family members say "Your kids are angles compared to ur brothers kids, or ur cousins Chris" all the time. It's b/c I stay on top of them and don't allow one ounce of direspect. Sometimes it's cute to hear children say outrageous things but when it begins to reflect as bad parenting then it's no longer funny. You seem like a great mom with little help in the parenting department and wether or husband allowes it or not u should make it clear to ur toddler that great punishment comes along with a potty mouth, also try giving him other words that will help him express how he feels. Like if he says the word ShutUp you punish him and then tell him next time to use the words Please be quiet or Hush..w/e ur conforatable with and for the S word try using darnit or my fav (my 4 yr old uses) Awww MAN! Lol just stick to w.e u decide to use and remember that how he acts now will reflect who he becomes later.

My husband has a potty mouth as well. I knew it was inevitable that my son would try out these words. We just tell him that those are words that daddy can say but he can not. If he says them we send him to time out. He does not say them now. Now if his dad says bad words my son tells him not to say those words. You can look at it as a learning experience. There will be lots of things that adults can do that he is not allowed to. This is just one of them.

My now 14 year old had the same issue because his father works construction so we had the mouth of a sailor. I tried everything and nothing worked until my mother reminded me of what soap tasted like. I know it sounds cruel but if you just rub your finger on the bar of soap just enough that he can taste it and then touch his tongue he will understand that those words are dirty and must be washed out and when things are really dirty they have to have soap. I did this with my oldest and it was amazing how quick the filthy mouth stopped. Not only that but then when I had my next two children he told them so filthy mouth was never an issue with them. Don't panic children put worse things in their mouth than soap on an everyday basis. You could also find a really bad tasting toothpaste, and call it a special soap. Sometimes you have to be creative. May I also recommend using the whole bar on your husband when he is around the kids - LOL!

I have two suggestions actually. First and foremost as adults we are less inclined to change so set up a swear jar, Let your husband know that since he wants to continue to swear every time he uses a curse word, it will cost him a dollar. Also as far as your son you have to teach him that although his dad curses that does not mean that he is allowed to. I hate to say it but in this case the old saying "do as I say and not as I do" would apply. Unfortunately even outside of the home our children are exposed to dirty mouths, and more. We have to teach them that even though they hear it is not ok to say it. Anyway, with your son try to teach him a variation of those words andany others that he may hear...such as "oh sugar" in place of the other "s" word. Instead of shut up try zip it, something to that effect. But even that should be used sparingly. My children for example are not allowed to used shut up at all, and they must ask if they can tell each other be quiet. Just because sometimes it can be used and be hurtful. Those are just somethings that may work, I wish you the best of luck!

As silly as this may sound and you may not think it will work. My husband and my son have found themselves both in time out. They sit in time out together and they dicuss why they are there. Everyone keeps telling me that he is to young to understand it he probably thinks it is funny for the two of them to be in time out however, it has worked so well around our house that now my husband doesn't cuss at all. They have both learned their lesson!

I wish you the best of luck and I hope this works if you do try it.

Hi J.,

I was raised in a home where grown-ups did not cuss around the kids (well, maybe every once in a while, when they were really mad, but they got in trouble!). I just assumed that everyone lived like that, but I found out differently when I got married. My husband's father used bad language pretty regularly, in jokes and colloquial sayings in Southern Indiana. His mother and her family used it to have screaming matches and try to hurt one another with words, an expression of anger. I always felt troubled when they would use this language around my 3 year old stepson, but since he was not my son and I was young and in love (and naive) I never made a big deal about.
My son was born in January of 2005 and when he was about five months old I started to attend Liberty Church on Hwy. 41 in Marietta. I told my husband that I was going to go every week and he was like "every week?" and I was like, "yeah, every week. you can do whatever you want, but I'm going to be there with the kids every week."
So, he started to show up to, I guess just to show me that he was a good guy and he would go to church. I don't really know why he came, because I never really asked him too.
In November of 2005, he became a Christian. In January of 2006 he attended a three day retreat called Tres Dias. About a month after that he quit smoking. He has smoked since he was 12, and now he has been free from that addiction for about a year. He was also convicted about his cussing, and Thank God this happened before my son started to talk. Now he only uses bad language every now and then when he slips up, and the poor guy feels so guilty! We have a second child now, a 7 month old daughter and we are very active members of our church and the Tres Dias community. Our lives have so much more meaning now and I feel great about raising my children in a moral and loving home.
So, I know how you feel because I fought with my husband on this issue for about 10 years, for the protection of my stepson (who is now 13). I was just lucky to have things worked out before my biological children were affected. I don't know if you have any religious beliefs or background, but I would recommend doing what you feel that God wants you to do and let him worry about changing your husband. I have never been able to change my husband through words, but my actions have often opened the door to allow God to work on his heart. Your two-year old will say whatever he hears, just like mine does, and it will seem unfair and confusing to him to be punished when Dad isn't. I know it is embarrasing in public, but if you are not using this language, then it will be obvious to friends and family that the influence is coming from your husband. Maybe this pressure will help him to stop. Let me know if you want any more info. on my church or you would like to visit. It is a wonderful, spirit-filled, multi-cultural non-denominational church. The website is www.libertychurch.org I will keep you in my prayers.

L. taylor

Hi J.,

I don't want to seem like I am jumping on your case, but I must say, I too am gulity of using bad language around children at times(not too often), but I will also say, that not one of them have dared to repeat a word. I had custody of my two God children for a year (ages 5 and 3). I believe in popping. So, I had the fear of God in them. I never had to say no or stop more than twice.

I will give you some examples of people I know that have had had these problems, and now their children are out of control. I have a cousin. Her daughter is 3. She use to think the comments, talking back, cussing was cute when she was younger. Now at age 3, she has gotten kicked out of Head Start, as well as a daycare center due to her behavior and language.

I have a friend. Her son is 4. He uses cuss words. She will tell him not too, but doesn't use any reinforcement. He has been put out of 2 daycare centers for cussing at the teachers. It may not seem like such a problem now, but other people are a whole lot less tolerable to bad behavior. I worked in a daycare in highschool, and children that used cuss words, or that didn't listen were a nightmare!! Just try to stop it now before it gets out of control. Don't be afraid to be assertive ot even a bit aggressive. Your children will only do what you allow them to do. (My grandmomma told me that one)Good luck!!!

First of all I think it's important for your husband to really try to stop. Then if he he does curse around your child he can apologize... explain that it was wrong. Maybe they can stop together. Frankly, I'm surprised that my kids don't curse more since my husband is the same way to some extent (not that I'm not guilty of the occasional slip) but when someone slips in front of the kids we acknowledge that it's not a good thing to say (make daddy say he's sorry!). I had to make my husband understand how uncomfortable it makes ME when I'm out in a social situation with my child and other kids/moms and something inappropriate like that comes out of their mouths! Mine are a little older (4 and 5) and they seem to grasp that just because their parents use bad language sometimes, it doesn't make it okay for them. Your son might be a little young to grasp that. There were a couple of times that my son at age three had to leave a playdate or fun time because he used language I didn't like. He doesn't do it anymore (knock on wood!). At your son's age... he might be doing it a for attention/shock value. Maybe not making a huge deal, but a quick reprimand and maybe make him stop doing whatever fun thing he's doing or something like that. Good luck... oh... and my daughter once started saying G&^%am&t when she was frustrated and we came up with a funny work "fiddeldysticks" to replace it!

I hate to give this advice only because it might seem harsh but if he is using this language in the right text then it has gotten to an accute stage but first let me just say "It happens to alot of us so don't be too hard on yourself"! I say daddy needs to start being accountable and maybe you can create a potty mouth jar and for like little words like damn or hell charge daddy 25 cents and s*@t or the "B" word 50 cents and the big ones a $1.00! Then start to teach your son that the cursing is bad and I say use hot sauce not tabasco it's too hot but like texas pete and do a dap on the tongue it is not gonna hurt him only his tongue since it is a food whereas soap isn't and can cause diarria and as far as the money pot when your son goes however long you see fit a day a week without cursing he gets to spend the money at the dollar store! I hope it helps

I can't believe this! Toddlers using profanity....where exactly did they learn it?? They are little sponges picking up what we teach them, put it to some good. It is just a disaster waiting to happen in the future (It will get worse!!). What kind of parent or other family member does this (and thinks it's funny)? Let's try to be a good role model...maybe try "popping them first".. Ughh, so rude and irresponsible. He made the choice to become a parent many times, he needs to be responsible.