My Three Yr Old Is a Cronic Bitter

Updated on August 31, 2006
J.R. asks from Muskegon, MI
10 answers

how do i deal with this problem

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T.T.

answers from Cincinnati on

J.
you are not the only one. My kids are now 11 and 8. My nephew was a biter. he and my daughter were 3 at the time now 11. Everything does not work for everybody. But you need some kind of reinforcement to go along with "That's not nice and you are not suppose to bite anybody." I would rather it be stopped at home rather than by another child or another child's parents lashing out at my child. I have tried reading different books on these types of things. and that is not the solution for everybody. No 2 kids are the same.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

J.,

I agree with the other Mom's that other's have bitten their children to teach them a lesson before, but that does not make it acceptable. I also doubt that the state would remove all of your children for a small bite. Is there something more going on?

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J.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Biting is a common issue with toddlers - BUT you biting your child to prove that it hurts was WRONG. I highly recommend you seek out parental counseling and get the help you need to control this situation before you loose all of your children!

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V.

answers from Cincinnati on

My son was in a daycare setting and was bitten 32 times within 3 weeks. He then became the "biter". I tried everything under the sun to try to stop this even after he was kicked out of that same daycare for biting. I even tried to gently bite him myself to let him know how it feels. Didn't work. I finally found a little trick- it is to help people stop biting their fingernails. It tastes terrible - I know I tried it. In the beginning I had to watch him like a hawk as well as the daycare supervisor (noone else had the authority to administer this). When I saw him open his mouth to bite I got the little bottle of bitter apple and placed a very small amount on his tongue. He screamed as in major pain but it was only a horrible taste that lasted a while. This only went on a few days. Then when he became frustrated I would motion towards the top of the fridge where the bottle was and the lips would mash togather and not open. Soon he began to verbalize more and the biting stopped all togather. This trick was an idea from his doctor!! Thank God!!!

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S.F.

answers from Columbus on

J.,

My husband thought that was the way to get our daughter to stop biting. It was not the way, and it only mad matters worse.
what did finally work was that when she did bite someone, we paid all the attention to the person that she did this to and then told her that biting hurts and don't do it anymore.
She did stop doing that a couple weeks later. Now in daycare and getting the ohther end of her old habit she stopped dong it.

The reason from most biting is due to not being able to channel thier feelings or need to communicate. This is usually a stage, and if you work it right they will stop.

My duaghter was close to getting kicked out of her daycare for this bad habit and she did bite me many times. I can understand how upset you must be with this habit. Most people are understanding about it the first time, then after thtat it gets ugly. I had several moms upset with me and my daugher. They are just now starting to talk to me again and include my daugher in play groups.
I wish you all the luck in the world with getting this stopped. I understand how being a mom is hard. I have a bad temper and there have been a couple times when I almost lost it. Just step back and count or just listen to some music you like and try to relax an minu te, then go back and try again.

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C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I don't intend on being harsh, but... even if there are other moms who admit to biting their children to "teach" them a lesson it does NOT make it right! You cannot be validated just by knowing others have done it. The bite must have been bad enough for others to notice the mark - That concerns me. Please take responsibility for your mistake and commit to never doing it again. I don't know your situation at all and it would be wrong of me to judge you (I admit to judging your actions). You might want to consider that the cronic biting may be a two fold problem - 1)an attempt to get your attention & 2)a way to express their own frustration and anger about their environment. It sounds like you have had a pretty rough life. Do you have a church family? I pray that if you don't that you can find one that can help support you and encourage you. It is impossible to deal with this life alone. I respect you for reaching out - that is a big step. God bless!

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K.K.

answers from Cleveland on

Seriously, what would possess one to bite their own child? It must have been a pretty severe bite for your children to be removed from their home. A better option might have been a time out. If you check with your local library, you can find parent groups there-you might be able to find one that would help you in giving suggestions for raising children.

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P.J.

answers from Columbus on

I diagree that there was anything wrong with you biting I did it to my 2 year old once and explained that its wrong and he can hurt someone. He never did it again. Now if you left a mark on the child that yes you were wrong, you don't do it hard just enough that the child understands that it hurts. I think that disipline is up to the parent and no one has the right to tell you its wrong unless you are physically or mentally hurting the child. I don't understand why they would take your kids away unless something else is going on. It is a hard thing being a parent and you have to keep your cool in any situation. If you get mad step back take a few breathes and try it again but you can not hurt your children you will eventually pay for it, your kids will remember it and hold it against you for the rest of your life. My father was abusive and I will never foret it. I am not saying you are hurting your children so please do not take this the wrong way, but I eel like there is more to it. If I can be of any help send me a message. Good luck and I hope you get your kids back!!

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S.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

I know others have done this. I even heard my mom tell my sister to do it to her son when he kept biting at 2 years old. Still, I do not agree that it is the best way to handle it. I highly suggest reading some parenting books such as the one someone else suggested.

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

I'm sure you are not the only one who has biten their child in a last ditch effort to try to stop them from biting. Just because other people have done it though doesn't mean it's right. One of the things children are best at is imitating their parents. As a result, your child is probably more likely to keep biting than stop. I highly recommend the book, "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Harvey Karp. It gives a really good approach for communicating with toddlers that can minimize frustration for both you and your children, and an easy way to deal with misbehaving issues such as biting, hitting, etc.

Good luck.

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