My Son Yells and Screams to Much

I completely understand. I had the same problem. I had PPdepression which caused me to lose my temper easily, and kids look to us to know how to deal with stress. I started by being honest. I sat down and discussed how our family feels when we are yelling a lot. then i owned up to it, apologizing for my behavior and said that i have a hard time not yelling and asked my kids for their help. (trust me, kids are more willing if they are helping you than being told they need to change) we made a family goal of speaking nicely, and reviewed that goal each week in "family council". then we would help each other with our yelling. also, one thing that has worked like a charm: there is a movie, it's a cartoon veggietales, called "larry boy and the angry eyebrows". my kids are familiar with it, so whenever we are angry and yelling, someone in the faily says, "make your angry eyebrows fly away" and the person is required to make an action with their index fingers next to their eyebrows, with them "flying away", it always makes them smile, and ends the anger. good luck, it's going to take a while, but these things can help!

I think kids really need to learn that their feelings are OK, but also it is important HOW they get them out. There are OK ways to do that, and "not OK" ways. Show him a better way. My daughter (three years old) is this way, and this has been a very helpful approach for us. When she gets really mad and starts yelling, I say something like "oh, you are SO mad! Let's go kick some pillows!" The we go lie on my bed, and put the pillows down by our feet, and we both kick them really hard. And we yell the words "I am SO mad!" It's actually great fun, and we generally end up laughing, but she also has a chance to get the feelings out in a way that is OK. When she is calmer, then we can talk about it. It has never worked to try and talk with her when she is feeling really mad. Now, when she is mad, she just goes into her room herself, and yells and kicks her pillows. She comes out saying "I feel better now, Mom". It takes patience, and a lot of doing this over and over, but it does work. Good luck!!!

I have 4 children and I've had the same problem with the kids picking up my bad habits. Then I change and they still do it. The only thing that works for me it to stay consistent. You've changed and he still does it. The fact that you stopped yelling is fantastic! Just keep doing the time out and be consistent and you will notice a difference. Good luck!

my daughter knows that if she wants me to listen she has to use words in a normal tone of voice. if we are at home and the problem is not out of her control, ie extreme lack of sleep, illness, than i walk away when she starts yelling. she usually calms down quickly and attempts to articulate her feelings. if we are out i remove her from the situation, sometimes we go sit in the car until she is calm. this method has worked well for us. she now says, 'mom' when she wants my attention instead of screaming for it and says, 'help' when she is frustrated.

Good for you for not yelling anymore. When my kids yell/scream/whine, etc...I start by firmly telling my kids "no" as soon as the yelling/screaming starts. Then I tell them that is not the appropriate way to speak to me (or anyone) and to try it again the right way, using words. Model for him how you expect him to say it. If he can speak tell him to repeat after you. Give him praise even if he improves only a little. The idea is to show him the correct way and then keep encouraging him to continue doing what you have asked. With my kids spanking did not work, they did not care, I learned I needed to find something that extinguished the behavior. (If a punishment or discipline doesn't work, like spanking, move on! Find something else that does work, try things that don't include hitting, taking toys away is a good start, it's all about finding their weak spot.) The answer for me was TABASCO or "Volcano Sauce" as my son calls it. I put their finger on the opening of the bottle I turn it upside down so just a little bit goes on their finger (less than a drop) then I have them suck it off their finger. This has worked to get my kids to change their behavior. Just the mention of Tabasco and they shape up.

Just a quick side note about changing behavior in kids- it will get worse before it gets better. They are going to challenge you and test you to see if you are going to follow through, but if you do follow through and stay consistent then the negative behavior should diminish rather quickly.

Good luck!

I would tell him that his yelling hurts my ears and then I would ignore him until he could speak in a normal tone. My daughter used to do the same thing except she used whining to get her way. It was very effective and I think that it taught her to really think about what she says and how she says it.

here's an idea: First, start an allowance (age x .20 for example), so 3 yo = 6 dimes. Take 2 baby food jars and decorate one with "mom" on it and one with your son's name on it (use those pens that can write on glass or something like that) everytime one of you yells, in goes a dime in the jar.

My son screamed all the time and he even was doing it at restaurants and church. It was so embarrassing and I couldn't get him to stop no matter what I tried. I did time outs and took things away. Then My mom suggested that I throw a little bit of water in his face everytime he screams. It took only two or three times before he caught on that if he screamed he was going to get water in his face. It may sound mean but it didn't hurt him and it solved the problem. Good luck.

Dear M.,

You have the perfect age difference between your two children for the older on to be VERY jealous. What do new babies do when they need something? They scream, because they cannot express it in words. And you go running to the baby, right? Your son is too young to understand all this and is responding as the baby does, so he will get the same reaction and all the attention won't be on the new little "intruder." Let him help with the baby by getting you a diaper, a binky, a blanket, whatever and show him how to take care of babies, explaining that the new baby cannot talk like the "smart big boy."

K.