My Little Snooper!!!

Updated on December 12, 2008
W.W. asks from Greenwood, IN
25 answers

What do you do when you find out that your 5 year old has seen what he is getting for Christmas??? Part of me says take it all back and get different stuff, but that's more work then I can handle right now. Part of me says don't give him those items he saw, but he is only 5 and we all have done that as a kid before.

I should have wrapped the stuff up as soon as I brought it home. It wasn't really hidden very well, my husband said he could see something sticking out one day too.

Christmas isn't all about the gifts and it's not like it's totally ruined or anything. My Son, knows the true meaning of Christmas, so I don't want to make a BIG deal about seeing the presents. But, I'm also thinking as I write this that I could take those items and hide them around the house and have him hunt for what he saw?? I do need to figure out how to stop him from snooping, I want to trust him not only at Christmas time. How do I get him to understand that?

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M.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

I was a snooper. My house, your house, any house. At 5 I marched from the master closet to the living room of my mom's best friend wearing her 10-years-retired white pleather platform topless Go-Go dancer boots. :) What works great for the holiday snooping is to have your son select one of the toys he has already seen (like he's going to have it early, but don't say that), then together you both wrap it up and take it together to a local charity where it is gifted to a less fortunate boy. I recommend calling it what it is to him (Snooping), and telling him it is rude to snoop, and not to do it. When you gift the present, you'll feel good, he'll like being generous, but he won't snoop at his presents anymore, I promise.
GOOD LUCK!

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S.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I would just go ahead with your plans and not even let him know that you know.
Maybe he will realize that it's more fun to have surprises than to know ahead of time.
Just play dumb and next time do a better job of hiding the evidence!

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H.M.

answers from Cleveland on

That happened to me one year. I did give my kids something, but made it from us instead of Santa. I put something else aside for their birthdays...Also knowing then that we purchased it...I had to go out and get something different from Santa.

Another great idea is to take one of the toys and tell him you bought it for kids who aren't getting any presents this Christmas. Have him help you wrap it and then donate it to Toys for Tots or another program. Beachwood Community Theatre is trying to collect 1,450 toys for homeless children. They're taking collections at their Wizard of Oz performances this weekend and next. They ask only that the present be marked Boy or Girl and then the age. So you would mark it "Boy, 5." The theme "There's No Place Like Home" -- plays into stressing all the kids who don't have a home and won't get presents. The performances are at Beachwood Middle School on Richmond Rd., next to the Beachwood Library. Times are: Fri. Dec. 12, 8 p.m.; Sat. Dec. 13, 2 p.m. (dress like a character day); Sun. Dec. 14 at 2 p.m.; Fri. Dec. 19 at 8 p.m.; Sat. Dec. 29 at 2 p.m. (dress like a character day.) It's a fun way to see a show and learn about children who aren't as lucky, all at the same time. I think tickets are $7 for adults and either $5 or $6 for kids.

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B.R.

answers from Columbus on

W.,

He probably doesn't remember everything he saw, so wrap those presents in front that he saw for under the tree and say those presents are from you and his dad. Pull out a couple that he didn't see too well from the back and won't remember and leave them unwrapped under tree and from Santa on the day Santa arrives at your house.

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J.S.

answers from Cleveland on

I think our daughter was 7 when this happened to us and she lost the gift and never snooped again (that I know of!) I commiserated with her about the 'rule' and explained that since she now knew where I kept the gifts, if she saw something in the future it would spoil her surprise, and if I found out, she would lose the gift, so either way why take a chance and look.

I do remember that it was a very fortuitous solution at the time since I needed a smallish gift for another child!

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

My mom found out I was looking at my Christmas presents one year when I was 6 or 7 I think. She sat me down and told me that part of her excitement at Christmas was watching me open gifts that she had picked out specially for me that she thought I'd like and be surprised about. When I knew what I was getting ahead of time, it made her Christmas less fun. I STILL feel guilty about it:( lol

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I think he'll learn the lesson the natural way, those are the best ways anyway. When my mom was 6, she decided to snoop and found all her Christmas presents. She will still tell you today that it was the worst Christmas she experienced as a child because she spoiled all of the excitement for herself. She NEVER snooped again. She told us that story when we were young and so I was never tempted to snoop myself. If I were you, I would keep the gifts, then on Christmas morning I would simply ask him "So, do you regret snooping now since you knew everything you were getting?" Natural consequences are the most effective and cheapest ones! take advantage!

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M.Q.

answers from Indianapolis on

This just happened at our house too. We told our son that Santa had asked us to help stash some toys for another family's children. We explained that some other family somewhere else in the world is stowing toys for him. The North Pole gets pretty crowded and sometimes Santa needs some help. Then we had our son write a note to Santa apologizing for snooping (and lying to us about it...)
We have had many talks with our kids about what the gifts at Christmas represent. (the gifts given to baby Jesus, a celebration of our love for each other as Jesus loves us all, etc.) We never want to stray too far from the meaning of Christmas. But, sometimes, for kids, you just have to let Santa be a part of things.

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C.R.

answers from Elkhart on

One of my two younger sisters, who is now 42 years old, has never forgotten the lesson she learned, curteousy of our mom on Christmas. Apparently, my little sister had snooped and found pretty necklaces that each of us girls were to receive. She was thrilled because the one she had always wanted was a part of the three. It was the first present she went for when time for unwrapping gifts came. Low and behold, she got one of the other necklaces, and my other sister got the one that the Snooper had been hoping and longing for. She could not and did not say one word, as it would have "given her away." However, lesson learned.....and remembered over 35 years later. I would remove some of the gifts your Snooper saw altogether, or keep back the ones he didn't, so he only gets what he's seen and the element of surprise is lost this year. Save the other gifts, the ones he didn't see yet for birthday. Or perhaps, wrap the ones he did see for Christmas this year and give those as gifts to a cousin or family friend.....I don't know.....I know you don't want his feelings hurt, but we all have lessons to learn. He just might remember this one for years to come, and hopefully, the snooping will cease too.

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L.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

It depends on whether it seemed intentional or not. If it was in your bedroom or some other place he should not be, he should have to do something to earn his presents back, if he gets them at all - especially if it was in your bedroom closet, he violated your space and he needs to know that Mommy and Daddy need their space too, just as he as a room of his own.

However, if you stuck them in the hall closet and he went in it to get something to help out or something along those lines, making him work for it like a scavenger hunt for the presents wouldn't be too bad, it might be a fun tradition for everyone. (My MIL does this with one big gift every year...if you do make it a yearly tradition, just don't make your 7-month pregnant daughter-in-law crawl through a dirty crawlspace to find a gift you know she already has.)

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D.H.

answers from Toledo on

My little 5 year old snoopy saw something we had purchased which his dad forgot to put up. I told him it's christmas time and not only are you not allowed in our bedroom, but you are not allowed to look for gifts. If we find out that you have we will take the gifts back to the store. Right now we have 2 packages sitting on the wash machine that have not been touched by either of the two little ones.

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B.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

I don't know many kids who didn't snoop to try to find out what they were getting, and plead guilty to being one of them. That being said, I never ever found them - my mother was a master at hiding them. The other thing was that she never gave us reason to suspect that she was "hiding something". Kids like the challenge of finding something hidden - "hide and seek"?? We never saw her go into the attic to hide the gifts or down into the basement. THere were occasions that she'd go into the attic or down in the backroom to the basement, but would always come out with something that she "needed". If she heard us snooping around (sometimes kids don't realize just how well sound travels), she'd tell us to quit "messing around back there" giving the excuse that either stuff was organized and she didn't want us messing it up or somehow getting hurt, that there wasn't anything "back there" that we needed to be into anyway. Kind of took the fun out of snooping around somewhat.

My grump with my husband is that his parents who live in Idaho shipped gifts to us already - he let our 5 year old open the box, and then placed the presents under the tree. I told him....BEGGED him not to do that, but he is one of those "always right" types and said "that's what they always did growing up." We NEVER did that growing up. There were no presents under the tree until Santa came. Just as I told him would happen, our 5 year old has begged to open the presents every day since. She doesn't understand that Christmas is still 16 days away and thinks that just because there's snow outside then it's time for Santa to arrive. He finally admits I was right, but at what cost? But I digress...

Anyway...my suggestion: Don't make a big deal about it and don't even mention it. Give him the presents anyway. I would go ahead and wrap them and find a different place to hide them (like the trunk of the car? or put them in a storage box on a shelf in the garage?). If he mentions them, say, "What are you talking about? Show me what you're talking about...." and he goes to show you and they aren't there, you can say, "Hmmmm...Are you sure they were here? I wonder what happened to them....well we'll just have to wait until Christmas to find out what happened." Anything he can think of to explain what happened will be worse than anything you tell him anyway. Then when he gets the gifts at Christmas, maybe he'll be relieved that he got what he thought he was getting.

For what it's worth....and good luck!!

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D.S.

answers from Lafayette on

Well, one thing you said stuck out to me so I will point it out. Christmas is not all about the presents, so this may be a perfect time to try a new tradition. Maybe he can help pick out a toy out of his pile that another little boy his age would like and he can wrap it and give to a needy family and then you can replace that gift with something he hasn't seen. Also, you could wrap gifts to go into the stocking that he has not seen. They wouldn't cost a lot and they often are the favorites in our family. This year everyone is getting pads of paper, pens, fun pencils, and stickers and a webkinz along with chapstick and a few little things that I have collected over the last couple months. The truth is most of us have seen what we were getting for Christmas one time or another (my husband left my present sitting on the passenger seat of MY car just yesterday), just not all of us have gotten found out.

Really this is a great time to remind your children the true meaning of Christmas.

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D.G.

answers from Columbus on

I would ask him what he saw, then take those items and donate them to a secret santa and get him a few different things instead. It stopped my sister from her snooping and my mom made her tell the guy why he was giving these things to secret santa. I never peeked , I always wanted to be surprised because I really did believe in Santa Clause.

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S.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi W.,

In our house Santa brings gifts but we also give a couple gifts bought from us to our kids. If you have more gifts that he has not seen, they can come from Santa and you can tell him you bought the ones he has seen.
My six year old still believes in Santa but he asked if he could buy a present for his little brother for Christmas. So I guess it does teach him the value of giving :)

S.

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B.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

lol do what me and my husband had to do this year! our boys (11 &9) snooped and found the Wii. wonderful! and we had it wrapped and in the top of the closet! we told them that it was going back to the store (its at my brother in laws house now!) and well get them something else since they looked. naturally they were upset at losing the Wii, but they dont know theyre still getting it and they have a little more respect for our privacy!

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A.A.

answers from Toledo on

This sort of thing happened at my house last year, although my then 5 yr old was not snooping. We had bought her a Hello Kitty scooter for Christmas, and it was her Santa gift. So Christmas Eve, before we are going to church (4:30pm) her brother drops something, reaches down and starts pulling stuff from under my bed. She was super excited, but didn't say anything. I came in and saw them in my room and kicked it back under the bed. After Church, my darling husband dropped us off and went to the Super Kmart by our house to find her something else.

Christmas morning comes, and she gets a princess scooter (last one, open boxed in store), she's completely happy. Never says a word. A few days go by and she drags my husband into our room and is asking about the Hello Kitty scooter that she saw under our bed. (I had already returned it.) My husband says Don't you remember mommy was buying presents for kids from her work who didn't have things? She says Yes. He tells her that I took it to work for another little girl who didn't have presents. She was happy and said"oh she will love it. It's so pretty."

We've never heard about that again. This year, we have a bigger house with more places to hide stuff.

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C.F.

answers from Indianapolis on

Go ahead with your plans. He will still like everything. I saw a bike in the closet when I was younger and still loved it. Keep things in your trunk from now on. Keep your keys in your purse.

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M.G.

answers from Columbus on

I'm thinking this lesson will be self-taught. Either he'll forget what he saw. Or, he won't have that element of surprise and will realize that it wasn't such a great idea to snoop around. One year my then 6 year old son found a present by accident. It was too big to hide, so I put it under a bed unwrapped. A ball rolled under the bed and he saw it. This was our big centerpiece present for him. He was so excited, and came running into our room saying he saw it and was he getting it for Christmas. I quickly whipped up a white lie about how we are holding that for ____ down the street so he won't find it before Christmas. Then, he was really surprised on Christmas morning.

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S.K.

answers from South Bend on

I agree, I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm sure it's disappointing for you, and next year you'll probably hide better lol. My kids have seen things that I didn't hide too well in the past, and it really didn't ruin anything. Especially being that he's so young, he'll most likely forget most of what he saw. And as far as trusting him not to snoop... I'm not sure that's possible with children. Possibly.. but not in my case when I was a kid, and not in my case with my own children. When I was a teenager, my mom would wrap presents as she bought them and put them under the tree. I would carefully unwrap my presents while my mom was as work, and carefully wrap them as she had them after I snooped. It wasn't as much fun for me on Christmas when I did that, but the "wanting to know" drove me more than wanting to be surprised did. So my suggestion is to hide better. =)

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N.S.

answers from Columbus on

I wouldn't worry about it either way. Just wrap the presents asap. If he brings up what he is getting for Christmas, you could just say that he'll have to wait for Christmas and explain that some of the presents won't be a surprise anymore. He is 5, so seeing what he is getting probably heightened his excitement for Christmas... As far as the snooping goes, you need to come up w/some rules that deters him from snooping. When I was little, I was not allowed in my mom's bedrm unless I had her explicit permission. Not sure how she did it, but I didn't ever snoop... I was too afraid she would notice and punish me. LOL. Anyway, good luck and merry Christmas.

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M.C.

answers from Cleveland on

My mom used to swap presents with a friend of hers, our gifts went to their house and our friends' gifts came to OUR house, hidden away of course. If we "happened" upon them, and then weren't caught, boy, were we surprized on Christmas when those gifts weren't under the tree. It was our moms' way of saying "busted". That lasted a few years between finding out about santa and being old enough to be patient.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'm sure you have scolded him, so he knows he did the wrong thing. I would just go ahead and give him the gifts and have Christmas as normal. He is the one who will not be getting surprises, which is the fun part of Christmas. Then next year you can do it differently.
(I used to put my kids gifts in a suitcase I kept in my closet. They never thought to look there.)

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F.R.

answers from Columbus on

W.,

My son was 4 when he found he "big gift" under my bed a few Christmas' past. He was looking for one of our cats that had not been seen all day. I couldn't be mad at him, but I know how you feel. At a loss for what to do, I told him I would have to call Santa and see what he thought about the situation. He was alreay devistated about finding his gift, so while he was crying in his room I moved it to a better hinding place....when he came out I told him Santa had sent his head elf to pick it up. If he was a good boy for rest of the year Santa would bring it to him on Christmas. That included hunting arond the house for any more gifts! It was hard to keep a straight face, but it worked! Good luck to you!

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N.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

My son was four when he found his presents that were from Santa. I told him that Santa was very busy that year and he had been extra good so Santa brought some of his gifts early and asked me to help wrap them but that he was still coming on Christmas Eve. That seemed to have worked and he had forgotten about most of what he saw by the time Christmas came around.

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