My Husband Did Cheat.

Hi C.,
I am sorry to hear about your situation especially for the fact you have 2 children with this man,but I first must say not being interested in sex does not give your husband permission to go and have an affair, also from his responses to your questions about his luggage it sounds like he has very little respect for you and I would of immediatly gone through his bags.I understand you not wanting to leave him that's easier said than done but I feel you are deluded in thinking you are soulmates if he is hurting you this way, he has slept with another woman twice and to say it was only sex how I've heard this so many times so that makes it ok!!!!!he has only told you to appease his guilt,as he realised you knew something was wrong with his behaviour,you do clearly have some working out to do especially if you don't want to leave him, you obviously love him dearly which is understandable but in my experience with friends who have been through this, it only very rarely works your husband needs to bend over backwards to put this right with you go to counselling and don't let him try to give you any BS you need to state to him after this betrayal he will have to move heaven and earth to make this right with you and the kids.

Thats my 10 cents worth, please don't let him off the hook and make this easy for him,I wish you all the best carron.

Hi C.,

I am very sorry to hear about what your husband did. I can't say that I have personaly gone through anything like this but a very good friend of mine did. She left the house for a few days to think about things. She asked me if I would stay with my husband if he cheated on me and I told her that I could sit here and say NO WAY, but the truth is, I don't know what I would actually do if I were ever in that situation. My friend decided to stay with her husband and try and work it out. They went to marriage counsueling and each one went to consuling seperately as well. They now have a wonderful baby boy and another on the way. Their whole relationship has changed and they are actually closer than ever now. Seeing this makes me think that it is worth at least trying to work it out, but your husband has to know that that comes with a lot of strings.

I wish you the very best. If you need someone to talk to please let me know. I have been there with a friend and was her shoulder to cry on.

I have been married 24 years and sex is not the highest on my priority list either. I love my husband but life just seem to make me so tired at times that I would rather just sleep, but I do make the time to squeeze in an interlude or two in. I told my husband years ago, "If you ever decide to stray I want you to tell me because I would hate to get something that another women may give you." So the two thing I can say is I am so sorry this happened to you and I wish it had not but at least he told you.
You have a right to be mad. You have a right to think of your self. You have right to want to slap his face and you have a right to want to save your marriage. You are not stupid and I commend you for wanting to make your marriage work.
Stand strong sister and do what is best for you and child.

S.

Hi,

If you feel you relationship is solvagable then do what you feel is important to you. You said earlier that he said that she made him feel important and sex hasn't been a priority. Sex in a marriage is not about the physical act itself but the intimacy. It is obvious in this situation there may have been some issues with with this base on your information. If you want to stay and work through it then both of you need to sit down and talk about the real issues in the marriage like communication and intimacy. Become transparent and I know you will work the issues out. This was just a symbol of something bigger. It was not appropriate for him to solve his problem this way , but if you are both willing to change and work through fixing the deeper issues then it will be ok.

Sorry you are hurting so badly. Did your husband use protection? Make sure you and him get tested for any stds.If you want to stay married then you need to sit down and really talk with your husband with a counselor. If you let it just never be said again it will hurt,haunt and eat at you then one day you will snap and POOF it will be over. Also I suggest a date night at least twice a week where you and your hubby get a sitter and spend time just the 2 of you. If you want to work this out you can but you need to get help it doesn't mean stay with a counselor for a long period of time maybe it will just be a few sessions but it would really help you both. Hope it all works out for you.

Well, I wrote a 3 page answer for you,hit backspace,(and poof!)IT DISAPPEARED!!! So in short, someone suggested counseling, I agree if its worth it. 2 nights and he felt important is what he said to you. Sounds like more than an accident. Take time away let him see what it's like without his family. He not only cheated on you but his children too. Take Care and good luck