My 8 Yr Old Daughter Wants No Responsibility

Martial arts are great, but you and your boyfriend -- how long have you been together? She has a "very part-time dad," how long has that been going on? You just lost your job, which means there's been a change in finances. Your kid is probably feeling the strain.

Being an instructor qualified to run a karate school probably takes a good decade. First degree black belts can't run karate schools. It's a good hobby for you and it's great you're volunteering and that you have an outlet. This is a great outlet for the family and kudos to you for it.

But writing the chores down on a white board might help you out. They may help you see whether you're demanding too much of her. Is she expected to get dinner, for instance? That's too much. Also, if she has to clean her room, she needs you to teach her how. Is there too much clutter in her room? Help her sort through toys she doesn't play with any more.

Martial arts and homework, picking up her room, help putting the dishes away, putting her own laundry away, that's reasonable. But make sure you aren't asking too much of her.

Just because she could handle something before you lost your job doesn't mean she can handle it now. Sometimes a lot of big changes in a kid's life cause them to act like a child a little younger.

Good luck!

D.,

My eight year old is the same way. I am on top of her every day because she either forgets or doesn't remember. I am constantly reminding her because she is so preoccupied with her own thoughts. She daydreams a lot! So perhaps this behavior is indicitive of the age. Just stay on top of her and don't let things slide.

Good luck to you all.

Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that our kids are KIDS. My daughter is on the mature side and I found myself expecting a bit more of her than she was appropriately capable of. Take a look at what you are asking her to do and assess if it IS too much or is appropriate for her to do. Perhaps a "chore chart" would help. Something you can hang on the fridge or her bedroom door or whereever is convenient. It can be a quick and easy way for her to look at the list and remember what she has to remember.

Hi D.!!!!I agree with Tabitha. Have something visual displayed with responsibilties or chores that she has and put it where she will see it often. Have you sat down and talked with her about the responsibilites she feels comfortable handling? There are things that are necessary, i.e., homework, but communicating with her about those things and getting input from her may help. You can also offer incentives for completing each task and keep track of it on her chart. Stay positive!!!!!

Your daughter has so much going on. You are an adult and probably feel overwhelmed, can you imagine how she feels. She has been with you for 5 yrs, there is a new step-mom, mom, dad, boyfiend, school, karate, wow!!
"i forgot" probably means, "no more stuff!"
I would suggest a "white dry erase board" to put in her room, or on the kitchen wall with everthing on it for each day (i bought one at Target for about $10. i put everything on it for each day. the kids wake up every morning and see what they are doing??!! visitation, school and activities! dr. appts.. it is all on there. they feel more in control.
good luck
single mom of 8 and 10 yr old