My 8 Year Old Hates This Year at School

I'm no expert - my daughter hasn't reached 3rd grade yet, but maybe she is shy and insecure. She has been thru a lot of change recently and stress comes out in various ways with kids. This new school maybe tougher than she is used to, or maybe just being the new kid has her nervous. Sounds like she is afraid of making mistakes. Explain to her nobody likes to make mistakes, but they present a great opportunity to learn.

I agree with with trying to find a tutor. Even is she catches up, she may feel a bit more secure knowing that she has thoroughly covered the material and has a good grasp on the work. If the teacher calls on her, she will be prepared, answer the question, and gain more self confidence.

I'd also suggest giving her nudge socially. Have her invite a couple of friends over to play or for an outing. I think once she feels more settled and secure she will like school more.

Good luck!

3rd grade is TOUGH!! Bullying, and girly "cliques", and academic changes, etc.... My daughter had a tough time with 3rd grade, and just like you, I was very concerned and overwhelmed. I am an older mom, too, and I cannot believe how much things have changed, in rearing children. Third grade is one of those drastic changes. School is no longer fun, it is tough! Everytime she misses school, she misses the opportunity to learn something that the kids in school are learning. That puts her behind, and once you start falling behind, it makes them feel inadequate, and then their self esateem goes down, etc. It is very important that she goes to school everyday possible, so she does not fall behind. My daughter had several "bullies" that she had to deal with, and it all started in 3rd grade. 3rd grade today, is nothing like 3rd grade of yesterday, whether we like it or not.If she is missing so much school,her grades cannot be that great; get a tutor to help her with that. See if you can go to your local high school, and talk to them about a student that could be recommended to help out, and then perhaps a "big sister" type relationship might evolve too. I signed up my daughter for several "park district" classes, that also helped. It built new friendships, and boost her self esteem. Fun classes like, Improv, Theatre, Girls Jewelry Making, etc. Going to a new school is tough, but, she has you on her side, and that is a huge plus! She has to go to school, and everyday that she misses, she misses an opportunity to learn something. There could be bullying going on too, be careful of that. She is very lucky to have you!

I've heard from friends with older kids that third grade is rough - too much test-prep for the ISATs and they don't do some of the fun learning stuff they do in other years because they're drilling for the stupid tests (I'm a fan, can you tell ;-)

Are you able to volunteer in the classroom once in a while to get a feel for how she really is during the day? And what might be going on with the teacher? It's not like the "I hate school," and mysterious stomachaches thing is uncommon - my kid does it sometimes, and I've heard similar stories from friends. But it sounds like it's constant for your granddaughter.

I'd also look for evidence of a problem with another girl in school - it seems like in 3rd and 4th grade is when girls start that subtle bullying, queen bee stuff they do. (and in my experience, teachers sometimes don't notice.)

If you're in a position to follow through, I think I would give some serious thought to making a change of school - maybe visit some other schools - just because I think it means so much for a kid to know someone is really looking out for them - sometimes a hard situation is easier to get through if you know there is an "out," and if she feels she has some say in it, she may decide she would rather stay where she is (kids can be surprising that way.)

I would also talk to the principal. They may not have any solutions, but if they are a good leader and familiar with all the teachers, they might have some ideas or it might also pave the way for asking for a switch to another teacher if it seems like a good idea (friends of ours did that in January of 3rd grade last year, actually.)

Good luck!

Hi N..
You may want to have a conference with the classroom teacher and maybe even the school social worker. I teach second grade and often times kids act this way when they are nervous about something. I don't know if moving her into another room is the best solution(or one the principal would even approve the move) because you don;t want her to learn that whenever there is a problem, you can run from it. Good luck to your granddaughter. She is so lucky to have such loving grandparents.