My 7 Year Old Says "She Wishes She Could Live with Her Papa 4 Ever"

Don't let it get to you. It's your job to set rules, and her job to resist them. Unfortunately, Grandparents get to play the good guys. That does not mean your daughter loves you any less, but she has to understand that this is your job as a parent, and that those same loving grandparents that spoil her did their job when you were young not spoiling you. I have a 7 year old daughter, as well, as they seem destined to push against mommy. Mine flips between thinking I'm the best mommy in the world, and hating me. It's all normal. I just remind her that my job is to help her grow up to be the best her possible, and sometimes that means enforcing rules she doesn't like at the moment. And when she insists she doesn't love me, I just say, "mad at me right now, eh? we'll see how you feel tomorrow. And I still love you no matter what you say."

The best advice I can give you is, sit down with your Mom and Dad and tell them that you love them dearly but we need to have a talk about the difficulty you are having in the disciplining of your child. I know you love her with all of your heart but we need to work together if we expect her to become a well rounded young lady. When I give her constuctive discipline you need to support me. I am not doing anything that will hurt her on the other hand if she is able to use you two against me she will never gain respect for me when I have to do this on my own. I need your support in giving her stability, structure and proper standards and bounderies. All I am asking you to do is work with me, don't let her come to you when I am trying to set standards for her which I feel strongly about. I love you Mom and Dad Please respect my wishes. She will love you more if she knows she has set standards and bounderies. She will respect you more and your parents...

J. are you trying to make up for your daughter not having a father in the home? My 8 year old daughter lost her father during the summer and she's presently in therapy. It's hard, but I try to be consistant with her and love her with kisses, hugs, kisses and hugs. I tell her I love her on a daily basics at different times of the day.
It's hard, but I talk to my daughter about missing her father and not only her feelings, but my feelings also. I was divorced during his passing and it's hard for her. About your parents......
Living with your parents are difficult to discipline, but all of you have to be on one accord. Try not to disagree in front of your daughter. Children are very wise.
In closing, she told me years ago she wish she had a family. I told her, just because her daddy doesn't live with us doesn't mean we're not family. Two people can be a family. Now we have a saying, "It's just you and I, but we're still family". She start and I finish or visa-versa.

Sure you could talk it out, but there is no great way to put it to your parents. I would find a way to move out and do it quick. A close setting like the one you have put you in a rough position emotionally. Grandparents are great because they help, but emotions can heat up quickly in close quaters. I lived with my mom for almost a year and we just about killed eachother. Neither one of you can have an opinion in the others eyes, but I'm sure they do understand your position. There are lots of ways to move out on your own. I'm doing it on my own. Look into things in your area, get as much info as you can, follow leads, keep contacts, get on waiting lists and get out. You'll feel more relaxed and liberated once you do.
~Good Luck Mama!~

I would begin with an empathic response. "It's hard to do stuff you don't like." Then set the limit. "You have to clean your room because we need your help to keep the house clean. All of us do our part. This is yours." Re: her wish to live with her grandfa forever, I would again be empathic. "With your grandfa you think you could live like a princess. I would like that too. I can help you to stand it that you have to clean your room, but I can't not insist that you practice for when you are grown up." Re: your parents the emphasis needs to be on your need to have their support to help raise a responsible and contributing member of the family and the community. Spoiling her is fun for them, but if it undermines your goals/authority it will hurt your child in the long run. Ask them to tell your dau (together with you)that you are in charge of her and that they will not rescue her from minding you. If they cannot desist from undermining you I would consider a mediator's help, a minister's help, or a therapist's help.

I actually had the same problem before except my daughter was younger...My daughter is still attached to my dad and they spoil her like crazy. You have to understand you are the parent and you should be respected as so. I think the first thing your should do is have a talk with your parents. Even though you are in their home you are still the mother. They need to follow your rules in your daughter's disipline and they can't go against your word...that how you lose your authority. Your daughter will see the diffrence when she stops getting her way and you wouldn't feel like such an awful person. You should also consider spending some alone time with your daughter so she can see the fun, loving mother you are.