My grandson has ADHD and anxiety. When the school made classroom changes he started having meltdowns in the mornings. Sometimes he was in the office unable to calm down until lunch. This went on for the entire second half of school.
Now he is supposed to go to summer latchkey so that I can work. I made the mistake of telling him he would be with the big kids 1st - 6th grade instead of the preschool and kindergartners. On the first day I found out that in the summer, the first graders are with the prek and kindergartners. He had a complete meltdown and kept repeating, I'm not supposed to be in here, I go to the big kids room. I had to go to work so I got stern with him, had his older brother go in the room he was in and left. Apparently he cried until lunch asking for me repeatedly.
For the last 3 days my husband has had to take him to work which is a huge issue.
At home when he has these meltdowns, he goes in his or my room with his baby blanket and a pacifier and lays on the bed, folds his ear and rubs it. After 15 to 20 minutes he has himself calmed down and is able to move on.
Does anyone have any suggestions of what I could do? I'm desperate.
His melt downs are getting worse. He sees a counselor and now a psychiatrist, he's being sent for Autism tested (that's booked our 6- 12 months. He has lived with us since he was 8 months and we also have his brother and sister. 9 and 11
Poor guy. I would work with the school, his doctor, and a child therapist to get him all the help he needs. Ask for help and see what they have to say. It sounds like he needs assistance...therapy to learn coping methods, etc. I would call them all today and make appointments asap.
He sounds like he's a special needs kid and you don't know how to handle him.
Please work with a counselor to help you navigate the difficulties you are having with him.
Talk with the person in charge of the school. Is this a public school or a private one? Public schools, by Federal law,.are required to make adjustments to meet the needs of a special needs child. You and the school should not have left him upset for hours. What did you and the school try to help him calm down? My grandchildren, 2 of which are on the autistic spectrum have IEP plans. Individual Education Plans. The school district also provides 504 plans to help ADHD students have success in school. Does your grandson have such a plan? Has he been evaluated to see if he has issues other than just ADHD that cause him to meltdown. Do you have an idea why he's anxious. Has he seen his pediatrician regarding his anxiety.
Does he live with you and if so for how long? Does he feel insecure because he's not with his parents. Has he been abused physically and/or emotionally?
There is a reason for prolonged meltdowns. I suggest you talk with a child therapist to help figure this out.
Because I'm retired, I could go to my grandson's school to both learn about his difficulty and support him. Because he had therapy, I learned how to support him. Do you know someone who could be supportive of you and him?
Perhaps you could tske a couple of hours off work to meet with the school counselor or principal. Would work let you take a couple of hours off.
I do not understanding why the school.had him sit in the office for an hour or more. I don't understand why they haven't helped you to find ways to change this pattern.
There is professional help available if you ask. It will take several phone calls and/or emails to find the right person to help. The school district has an office that is mandated to evaluate and provide treatment for what he needs. There is no charge.
Does he see a counselor? Is he on medication?
I don't know if he has special needs - has he been evaluated? I am guessing so since he has ADHD and anxiety that he has been evaluated by a professional.
We know of a family where the child had to have his parent go to the school and stay for part of the day. This was so the child could attend school (was that anxious). In the end, the child went on medication for the anxiety, and the parent reduced the time spent and with counseling, the child was able to handle going on own to school. Parent could go back to work.
I know medication is not for everyone, but this sounds pretty severe. What does counselor/doctor/school counselor suggest?
As for the summer program - could he take a piece of his blanket (cut it up so he has a small square) with him and tuck it in his pocket so he could at least have a comfort item on him? Would that help?
There is a spray that some kids use, it's not medicinal - more plant based, that may be a placebo effect, but kids spray it on their tongues and it supposedly calms them right down. You can get it on Amazon. You might try looking that up. Even if they think it works, it might be worth a shot. It is for anxiety.
poor little fellow. not sure what 'the second half of school' means, but i gather it's a persistent ongoing problem.
also not stated but inferred is that he lives with you.
meltdowns that go on all day are not the norm. i would have thought that the school would have made accommodations for him with some sort of special ed and IEP by this point. that's probably a good place to start.
he's a special needs kid. it's a lot for you to cope with. you need to get all the help you can, and arm yourself with good solid professional knowledge. get the school's help, get him a counselor, and get one for yourself and your husband as well. it sounds as if this little guy is going to need a lot of extra support and savvy going forward.
does his brother live with you too? how's he doing with it all?
wishing you all the best.
khairete
S.
