My 2 1/2 Year Old Hitting Classmates :-(

You are doing the right thing by putting him in time out for hitting, he knows he's wrong but can't help it at this age - When he'll be able to speak properly and express himself he will calm down as his frustration level will lower, plus, you are right, if other kids do it and he feel as it is somehow exhilarating for him to hit as well, then you see how tricky it is to manage it. It's just a phase, both you and the other caregivers will have to pay a bit more attention to him when he's around other children, just in case, and have faith, it shall pass, it always does.

Super common at this age. I would recommend looking at books aimed at this problem. We have several from our son's days as a hitter. Hands Are Not for Hitting was one of the books. If you go to a bookstore or look at Amazon, you should find a number of simple books aimed at his age group.

One solution is to give him an option when he feels like hitting. Instead of hitting, maybe he stomps his feet. Tell him what he should do when he wants to hit.

Good luck! This is an awful phase, but thankfully, it's just a phase. Your son won't turn into a bully because of this.

You are calling this "school". Is it a center? Perhaps there is just TOO MUCH structure for him??? He is so young that maybe he needs more time to free play and just be a 2 year old......

Or it could just be a phase. In which case, there is little else you can do except talk to him and remind him that hands are for helping.

Good luck.

At this age, a Toddler does not play interactively, they are still in the "parallel play" stage of development.
Look up the term, online.

Kids this age, do not know how to 'share' yet.

Kids this age, do not yet understand the full abstract meanings of social innuendo and social skills.

Kids this age, do not communicate articulately yet. Nor have the verbal skill to say everything, accurately. Nor do the know 'how' to express themselves. It is taught.

Kids this age, do not yet have, fully developed emotions yet. And they do not understand their emotions, nor have the words for it, yet. It is taught.

Boys are more physical.

Kids hit: when they are frustrated, tired, over-stimulated, or do not know how to express their wants or needs. Or when other kids, are irking them.

Kids this age: do not yet have, fully developed "impulse-control." They are reactors.

Kids this age, will also see what other kids are doing. But, they also get frustrated too.
They are also still learning, what is 'right' and 'wrong' and appropriate or inappropriate.

They are not yet at this age, articulate or cognizant of 'how' to react or what to do, when frustrated. ie: their level of "coping skills" are not developed yet. It has to be taught.

Kids this age, in a 'school' setting or with other kids, can sometimes just get overwhelmed. Because, they are so many other kids around.

I agree with what others are saying, your son's behavior is very common at this age. He's just going through a stage, the teachers are most likely not getting you because they are handling it. They are letting you know to keep you informed of what's going on and are hoping that you reinforce what they're doing at school....which it sounds like you already are (time outs, making it clear it's not ok)....so good job! 2 1/2 is so young, I bring my 2 1/2 year old to a structured play group 1X week, it's taught like a class, some days he just can't handle it and really acts out. It will pass.

ask the daycare to be a little bit more proactive & try to prevent the event from happening.....a little bit more vigilance on their part & they should be able to break the cycle.

& yes, this is common for this age group. It's up to the adults present to make sure the child understands it's unacceptable.

My now 3.5 yr old went through this at about your little one's age. He is a sweet natured child, but at that time he would get so angry, or feel so out of control that he would haul off and hit whatever was in his path. We had parents in very nice, and sometimes not so nice ways uninvite him to play at times. I know how you are feeling. The only good advice I have for you is to make sure to remove him from the situation and talk him down if you can before the 'hit'. Make sure to hold him accountable and make him apologize to the child. He will grow out of this. His words will catch up to his feelings and he will seem like a totally different child. Hang in there.

I think hitting, biting, pushing, etc. are normal for children that age. My son is that age, and he has been through spells with that kind of behavior.

He should have a consistent consequence - time out for two minutes, and then talk about what he did and what he should have done instead with you or the teacher, depending on where it happened, and then apologize for the behavior to the person he pushed. This should happen immediately after he pushes.

If it happens at school, when he gets home and when you have some quiet time, talk to him. Ask him what happened, (My son will say, "I bit Jayden), express your disappointment, and then talk about what you should do instead.

The teachers may think it has happened unprovoked, but I doubt that is true. A child may have taken a toy your son wanted 10 minutes earlier, and, in a period of transition later, your son hit. The teachers may just not be seeing the whole picture.

Good luck!

My daughter was a little hitter and a pusher at age 2. I was mortified! Fortunately, I was always with her, so when it occurred on the playground, there were immediate consequences, we went home! Honestly, I think she didn't know what to do with her frustration sometimes. Sometimes she just didn't feel like sharing the common space, and was not able to express that appropriately. I also think she noticed it got a lot of attention. The kind of attention that drew parents and grandparents to her, and away from baby siblings immediately. It ended pretty abruptly at age 3 when she started preschool. I came to pick her up one day at the beginning of the year and she had a grumpy face on. I asked why she was upset. She said, "Mommy, I did this (and she demonstrated a shove) to someone, and they did it back to me really hard, so my arm hurts" I said, "Yes, no one likes to be pushed. Pushing makes people angry. When you push people, some people will definitely push you back harder, so you can expect that it WILL hurt. It never happened again.