My 18 Month Old Son Hates His Daycare

Hi L.,

Try to bring an item from home that he is most comfortable with. When my daughter started daycare for the first time, I brought her favorite bear. It can be almost anything he is attached to, his favorite truck, bear, blanket? It's more of a comfort zone for him. Tell him that if he misses mommy or feels sad or scared, he can use this to comfort him and make him feel better. Also, it takes about 2 weeks or so for them to get used to the new environment and the new kids and teachers around them.

After you try that, for the first week, I'd call in and check on him at least once a day... Then maybe one day in the 2nd week just drop in and peek to see how he is doing, this way you can see it for yourself. I did that with my daughter and she adjusted really well.

Another thing you can do is when you pick him up after work, maybe get his favorite snack to give to him when you pick him up. Something "special" for him.. Then praise him that what an awesome job you did today at daycare! This way he can always look forward to the next day. (It might take a couple weeks for him to realize that though, just keep it strong, and don't worry too much) since kids sometimes still do feel what their mom feels.

Hope this advice helped! Keep us posted!

J.

It often takes children a couple weeks to adjust to a change - being recently separated and now the daycare is a lot for a little one to handle. Stay in communication with the daycare and see if he is improving or if they have any concerns.

Do the other children in the daycare seem happy? Is it possible for you to call and check in throughout the day, perhaps drop by unannounced to be sure everything at the daycare is acceptable? Try talking to other parents there, if you can, to see if they have experienced similar things.

Just remember, it does take children time to adjust to everything!

i am sure you are aware that even though it doesnt seem like it, separation effects everyone. crying is his only way to communicate how he feels. i am sure between going someplace new and his parents separating, he is feeling or sensing something is wrong/differant.

i would recommend patience and communication with him, his father and the center to try and make this ok for him. if he continues to cry alot, i would consider finding another center. believe me, i understand how difficult that can be, but stressing him out everyday isnt good for anyone.

good luck and i am sorry you are going thru all this.

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Thanks, R. Gagnon

There is no quick fix. It sounds like he's just trying to find his comfort zone by staying with the teacher. He will adapt - I've seen new children come into my daughter's daycare classroom doing the exact same thing. It's very natural. They feel out of place. Soon enough, he'll start feeling more comfortable and start participating in the group activities. He'll come around. Try to be positive!

I feel your pain!!! My son (who was a little older than yours) was so bad when I would leave that I had to hold the door shut so he wouldn't try to leave. He would throw himself on the floor and bang his head and scream. As a parent, this was hard for me to watch, and I am sure that his teachers felt helpless and frustrated.

What changed my sons actions were this: I told the teachers to please ignore him when I walked out. I would take him in and not make a big deal of it. I would put his stuff where it belonged, get his attention to a toy or book and did not say goodbye. This sounds horrible, but it worked. When I would say goodbye he would start crying and everything would go downhill from there. I held the door shut, and everyone went about their business in the room. It's funny, because after a couple days it started getting so much better because he wasn't getting the sympathy and the attention from his crying. He would then go off and join the group on his own. (And I bet if you ask the teacher, his crying is probably slowly decreasing each day. He is not used to that whole scene, and he is proably scared.)

Be patient, but be firm. And when you pick him up at the end of the day, give him a big hug.

L.
I know it just breaks your heart doesn't it? I have a 4 year old and I am the director of a daycare. My job required me to come and go during the day to pickup supplies and what have you...well my son screams each time I leave. it is horrible (and embarrassing since I am the director) But it is normal for a child to have a hard time adjusting. I read that it takes a 2 year old approx 2 weeks to adjust to the new setting. But that doesn't mean he will stop crying...it is hard for them. But do make sure that they are comforting him and trying to distract him when you drop him off...I would also check in throughout the day, call or drop by. Does the center provide you with papers showing what he did throughout the day? Potty/eating/sleeping....maybe you can see what upsets him...I know alot of our new children have the hardest time at nap time. Let me know how things are going :)

Good luck :)
Abby

took my girls good two months to stop crying when i dropped them off. they started goin at the age of 2. they're almost 3 and the mornings are usually hit or miss. they may be totally happy goin in or the total opposite. so it is normal but dod rop by unnexpectedly to see how he is being treated
good luck
vlora