Crying at Daycare - Fort Worth,TX

I am a director of Creme de la Creme a Private Preschool here in Plano.

It is very a very normal reaction for a child especially if they have never been in care and have had family change. What I advise new families is to keep drop off time and pick up time consistent. I also give families a copy of the schedule we keep at school so that they may do the same at home on the weekends. It will usually take a child any were form 4 to 6 weeks to adjust fully to the schedule, the environment and the teachers. She needs to begin to build a relationship with the teachers in the room (They usually attach to one). This process will get better you just have to stick to the consistency of the schedule and not let her talk you out of taking her to school. Children tend to know when families are also apprehensive about situations so the more convincing you are to her that this experience is something good the better it will sit in her head throughout the day.

Hope this Helps! :)

Is there any way to have someone else watch her rather than a day care or maybe look into a different day care, possibly one that is in-home. My son who is now 7 had a bad day care experience at age 2 that involved crying every day for most of the day, feeling abandoned and he still carries some emotional scars from it. Listen to your heart.

How long has she been in daycare? is it in-home or a center? We send our daughter to an in-home and I love it, she gets much more individual attention and hugs and kisses than in a center. She cried for the first couple of days, but then she was fine and now cant wait to go in the morning.

I work at a daycare and my daughter also attends the same school, her first time in daycare as well. It usually takes about two weeks for full time kids to get used to the routine of school. I would let her teachers know about the family situation and they should, if they are good teachers, be more sensitive to her needs until she is adjusted. I know how hard it is to leave your child screaming, but they will get used to it. I peek in my daughers room during the day and see she is happy and playing, but sometimes crys if she spots me. Hopefully she adjusts soon and is excited to play with her friends when she gets to school :)

I saw that another response said to come visit her at school. I DO NOT suggest doing that. They do not understand you are just visiting. They will think you are there to pick them up. I have seen several parents who do this and it's just not fair to the kids or the teachers, it is usually HARDER on them when you do this. You can always peek through the window or ask the director if you might be able to watch her on camera so you won't be spotted.

Poor baby...I know this is hard but the best thing that can happen is to just take her to class and tell her you love her and will see her later and leave. The teachers are used to this and it usually only lasts for about 2 weeks. In her circumstances I would expect it to last a while longer. If it continues then discuss the situation with the Director. She may have some ideas how to turn the little one around.

This is heart breaking to hear. I will say that it will get better. Make sure she has a blanket or lovie for comfort and think about making up a small photo album that she can take with her to school. My son start preschool and he held onto his for the first few weeks and it really helped him adjust, he even told his new friend all about us and showed pictures. Your sons situation sounds horrible and I'm sorry that this is happening but just remind him that he is doing a great job and to stick to a schedule and it will help her adjust also. Good Luck and I will be praying for your family.

I agree with Workinmom about consistency, and explaining it in simple terms she can understand.

I would also suggest that you have your son talk to the daycare staff--they usually have some good ideas about what can be done to help her feel more comfortable. One thing to try is to get a picture of Daddy (and mommy, maybe, depending on whether she still sees mommy at all) and put that up on the wall in a place where she can go to "visit" it. And/or have her take something of his to take with her (like his favorite ball cap, or other tactile thing that she can touch).

How long has she been in daycare? how consistent is her daycare time? Kids are comforted by consistency, so you will have to give her time to adjust. Make sure that you talk with her so that she knows what is going on. That daddy wants to be with her and play with her, but he has to work, and will come back for her. Abandonment is definitely going through her head, so when he picks her up, he should say, see, I told you I was coming back.

It takes some time for the adjustment. It is hard to see them cry, but before you know it, she will go running off without looking back and you have to stop them and call them back for your hug!

Hi Grandma,

Can you or your son spend some time every other day with your grand daughter at daycare? Say 1/2 hr to 1 hr at play time or lunch time or after naptime so that she feels more comfortable.

Talk to her about why she needs to go to day care - daddy has to work and grandma has to work. So baby needs to find other kids to play with and the nice people at daycare will take care of you while we are busy. We will come back in the evening to pick you up because thats all the time we can spend away from you.

She is going through a lot of emotions - mommy left them and now new daycare. Daddy may be stressed too. Talk with her and hopefully she can be eased into it. I know it must break your heart!

Poor thing has had her world turned upside down! :/ Perhaps try another facility for daycare... or someone who does childcare in smaller numbers from their home. I am a stay at home mom and when my daughter was about a year and a half i tried taking her to a drop in child care. She always screamed and clung to me when I took her. At two we found a 2 day a week program and went to the open house WITH our daughter where we met her teachers and played in the classroom for a little while, etc. She has never cried a single time we have gone there! Not even the first day and I was fully expecting her to! So perhaps if he tried a new daycare and took her with him for the tour, let her meet the teacher, kids, see the room and toys she will be playing in, and not leave her there that time, but instead leave her there the next day or week and talk up how much fun she will have at her new "school" how nice her new teachers will be, all the kids she will make friends with, etc...maybe that will help.

i had a few kids in my class do that but after a while it gets better. my son did it when he first started going. it will fade but maybe talk to the teachers and see what they're doing to help the situation. i had one girl that i would always let sit with me in the morning while we did our morning lessons. after a few minutes of her not crying we would move to the carpet with the other students. then i would get up and do my thing while the other teacher continued the lessons. after about three weeks or so she didn't need me to sit with her any more. she slowly started interacting with the other kids. small things like that can help transition her into the new class. she may be crying b/c her mom left and she may think that her daddy or you wont come back for her too. good luck.

Where are you located?