Moving & New School Woes...

My biggest piece of advice is that you don't overdo it on the talk and preparation. Talking about the move, the new school, new town, friends, etc. can be overwhelming to a five year old and you may actually make it harder for her. Just let it happen. Answer her questions as they come up but other than that leave it alone until you're a few weeks out from the actual move. At that point you can get excited and talk positively about the new adventure your family is about to have. I'm sure she's going to be just fine!

at her age, she is TOTALLY gonna feed off of your emotions on the move and new school... talk it up big time, the move, the large space, the climate, the new school. tell her that LOTS of the kinder students will be "new", she won't be any more new than anyone else. don't dwell on the change or that the school is "weird" or any of that, always speak positively about the new things, while being sensitive to HER feelings on leaving behind friends.

First, off, that class size is the norm for a small town. When we moved from Kentucky to Houston, our daughter was going into her junior year in HS, they had a total of 1,400 from 9th to 12th. In her school in Spring, the total was 3,400! She about had a heart attack! I think your daughter will be fine. Take a deep breath all will work out.

Since this is all your daughter will know, she will be fine.. It is the parents that freak out about school, way more than the children.

Just take it as it comes. When you have questions or concerns ask.. If you have suggestions, use the statement.. I was just wondering if you all have ever tried...... This way it will not sound like you are not pleased or think they are not doing a good job..

I don't know that there *is* a normal type of school across the entire country. There was a PreK- 12 in the town next to mine growing up (in NY) and I've seen a few here in New Mexico.

Anyway, your daughter is going to think her new school is exciting and awesome if you act like it is. She's going to think it's scary and weird and abnormal if you act like it is. She's a small child, and the most important thing is what her parents say (and how they act). So just make like it's the best thing in the world and she'll do great.

Personally, I'd be less worried with the structure of the school and how good the education is. Do you have any idea how it does on standardized testing, the drop out rate, etc?

I would welcome the opportunity for my child to go to such a small school. My son's class is over 400 and the kids are just lost in the shuffle. Each year they are placed with an entirely new class. I believe that having to make a new group of friends each year is a huge stressor to kids. I would love it for him to experience what it feels like to know all of the kids in your class each year. I bet in most intances this forms better bonds than the big Public schools do.
The only downside to this is if you get in with a group of kids that you really do not like. At this point you would never have a chance to get away from them to meet new kids.

Your daughter is going to do fine. Its not like she is moving in fourth grade where the kids have already formed friendships. By coming in at Kindergarten she will have no disadvantage because all of the other kids will be at the same place as her. both of my kids are not still friends with a single kid from preschool so don't dwell on the fact that she will "miss her friends." Friendships are fleeting at this age. What I wouldn't do is let her sense any apprehension from you. If you paint this as the positive experience that it is she will be excited about it.

I moved a good amount as a kid, then married my husband who is now a retired Marine. We moved a lot and our kids have gone to many different schoosl. My son turns 17 tomorrow and we finally bought a house a few months ago and this is his 14th home. My triplets are 7 and this is their 7th home. It's hard but with the right transition kids bounce back quickly.

My husband lived in the same house his entire life in a small town that I call "Mayberry". It even has a Main Street and every time I walk down it I whistle the Andy Griffith theme, lol.

My husband also went to a small school that went from kindergarten through 12th, smaller than the one you describe. I think they had 30 kids in their graduating class when hubby went there, and it's no bigger today. It was and still is a very nice school and is rated high. They always had new books and desks and did very well in sports.

I think the size isn't what should matter. That will probably be a plus for the students. More intimate. Less possibilities for students to get lost in the crowd, like at my high school that started with over 900 students in 9th grade and by graduation we lost 1/3 of the students due to drop out and just not enough help for the kids. We had 6-8 counselors for the entire school so they only helped the kids they knew would make it. The rest of us went by the wayside. We were scheduled to see our counselor once a year by appointment and if you needed them other than that you were out of luck because they just didn't have the time. Because my last name started with T I didn't get seen until later in the year so by then I had failed classes and no one to encourage me to go on. So with all the different schools I and my kids have gone to I think smaller schools tend to better.

In order to help your daughter transition, take her for a school tour to meet hopefully meet her teacher and other people who work their like the librarian, office workers and so on. Everything you talk about concerning school must be done positively and be excited for her. Everything you talk about needs to be done with excitement. Show her the school web site and things that the school does. Let her know what her teacher's name may be. You can also do that for area things so she can be excited about moving alll together. Show her online things that you'll be able to do in her new area. Remind that she will make new friends and can email and write her old friends too so she'll have twice as many friends. Don't focus so much on everything as she will sense your tension and concern. She's young and kids bounce back easier when they're younger. The older they get the more social they become and the harder it is to move so she'll do fine as long as she see you and everyone showing a positive attitude and excitement about the new place you're going to.

One thing you can do for yourself is check the school rating online. There are different web sites that describe schools and give ratings and people will post reviews as well.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

totally agree with all the advice to not over-prepare. if you harp endlessly about it she will surely pick up on your background feeling that this is weird and scary and something that requires exhaustive emotional effort.
kids are really very adaptable. in so many ways this sounds like a positive move. trust your kid.
i spent most of my schooling in a tiny tiny school. maybe 10 girls graduated ever year. i adored it.
answer her questions, address any concerns SHE has, and don't obsess about it.
khairete
S.

I found this the other day and loved it:

http://mamasoncall.com/2012/05/if-youre-moving-soon/

It's a very concrete list of things you can do /considerations before moving with your family.

Although I have never attended a school similar to what you describe, we have a K-8 here in our neighborhood. At the Kindergarten Roundup, the principal described this being a better way to help the middle schoolers and older kids, because of the environment. Just the nature of an elementary school-- there's a lot more supervision than there would be at a middle school. I'd suggest that this might also play out well for the oldest students, too, and perhaps the older students have a chance to mentor the middle-school aged kids. It could be a real benefit when your kids get older, to have teachers present who have known them for a long time.:)

Happy moving!

I would love to have my kids in a school that small- more attention

Our kids go to a small school and I can only imagine the transition it would be if we had to move and go to a large school. I will tell you our school is probably smaller than the one you are describing and we love it. I know all the kids and parents in their class and the kids get lots of attention or extra help if they need it. I think your daughter, being the age that she is, will do awesome. Good luck with your move!

This type of school is what many many many smaller towns have. We have a sub-community across the river that is it's own school district. They go through the 6th grade. A lot of private schools do the same thing if you think about it. If they go through the 12th grade it is just like a private school. You will find teachers you despise and you will find teachers you wish you could have them travel through each grade with your child.

I suggest you give it a chance and I think you'll see that this kind of environment can be very beneficial for your children. It is familiar, they all go together their whole lives, no switching to a different Jr. High with kids you don't know coming from 6 elementary schools. Getting lost in the confusion and shuffle of that many kids finding their way. Then going to a different high school where kids from 4 Jr. Highs all come and start fresh.

Then you end up with senior classes with over 500 kids and no one even knows the person standing next to them in their class pictures. The chances of being on the football team and actually playing increase with the smaller schools, being a cheerleader or a twirler in band, the lead singer in the school musicals, etc.....with a smaller crowd where everyone know everyone, and all the dirt on their whole family, aunts, uncles, cousins, all the family, the whole town and school become family.

It can be a great experience and it can be miserable. Working hard to make it positive will make it better for the whole town.