Moving - Harrison, AR

We went to the library and got ever book/video about the place we moved. I also went on the state/city website to find out the "cool" stuff to do and the stuff that is just like what we have here, so they could see that it's not that different.
Also, if you know what school they will go to...I contacted the principal and got the name/address of a child that would be in there grade and starting writing letters. They had a pen pal before we left and then they felt like they knew someone when they started school.

Hi S.!

First of all, congratulations for your husband's promotion!
According to my experience, moving is good, and mostly is for the better, but the real stuff about preparing, organizing and packing..and unpacking....to look for a house,,,and doing all of these with kids.....it is not easy at all, unless you have a company to do all the moving for you and your family, sometimes companies do that when they promote you and some others do just part of it...In our case, it was part of it. I mean I did all the packaging, but first of all, I tried to be calm with the best mood (there will be breakdowns..believe me!) and tried to start packing as soon as I knew the good news! I have moved a couple of times, in the city and among cities. I start packing the kitchen as the first thing, and then the other rooms, living room, diningroom , bedrooms, I always leave a couple of toys for the kids to play (2 and half and 8 yrs old), a DVD player always useful! I make participate both of the kids in packing his things, I give them boxes, but I let them pack certain things like books, cassettes, and the "special stuff". Every single box says the room where is going to be, and I write down some things there are in each of them. Every box has a number.Every box is left in the room where it belongs. I keep a basket for those things that always will be around (socks, a toy lost etc.)
One thing that helps me to have what I need handy is a suitcase and a backpak where I put some clothes for the kids,my husband and myself, toiletries.
It is exhausting, but is good to keep a good mood so the kids don't get too excited or cranky; they are affected by moving to another place where they will do not know nobody and nothing. I prepare my older kid by saying to him that he will meet new friends, and when we are all settle down,I let him to phone his friends whenever he needs to.
He still misses his old friends and he gets emotional sometimes (we moved about a year ago to STL) I still miss my friends and neighbors, things are different indeed in every state, but there are always nice and warm people wherever you go. may be is a good idea to join a mom's group, or register in a YMCA or find any kind of group to belong to..I haven't D. that yet, but it is a good idea.
Before moving in H., I wrote to Mamasource to know about school districts, neighborhoods etc...and it was a wonderful idea, may be you can do the same to find out about what you need..local moms will help you to find pediatricians, doctors, dentists..schools..etc.. It is not easy and it is sad at the beginning, but keep an enthusiastic attitude especially for the kids..and your husband since he is the one who got this wonderful promotion and will need all your support, ideas and willingness.
Well, good luck and, I hope this helps you a bit,
Take care, be patient and enjoy the good thing!
Alejandra

My husband is retired military...I would have to stop and really add it up to come up with how many moves we made in his 30 years with the Army...but I know it is at least 15!! And we spent the last 15 years in one place...so you can see how it was for a while.
I can tell you that ATTITUDE is everything!!! I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says it all...
"Bloom where you are planted". Go into this move with the idea that it is a wonderful new adventure!!! Yes there are drawbacks...leaving friends...changing routines...but look at them as opportunities...not losses. Since you homeschool...you will be "taking your school with you"...start doing some checking now to find out people in your new area who are involved in homeschooling...I am sure there are networks out there. I have no idea if you are moving to a rural or urban area...but try and get some written information about the area...contact the local visitors bureau...they will be listed on the internet. Go to Barnes and Noble ( or your local library) and find a book about the things to see and do in the area. Get excited about it...and communicate that excitement to your children.
Make sure that they have the email addresses of their friends there in your current home...so they can keep in touch...talk to them about the things you can do long distance to continue to enjoy the friendships. Enlist your extended family into stirring up the excitement and anticipation!!!
I dont know what kind of company that your husband works for..but maybe they have a program in place to partner an incoming family with a family that is already living there...to help you decide the best place to live...find out utility information...where the library is...things like that.
Maybe you could even incorporate some of the new information about your new home, into your home schooling..make it a project that all of you share together!!!
Dwell on the positive...not the negative....as I said ...Attitude is everything!!!
Good luck...enjoy your new home...and...
Bloom where you are planted!!!!
R. Ann

S.,
From one mom to another and now I am a grandmother.
We moved our 3 sons from Kansas City, MO to Riyadh
Saudi Arabia when our youngest was 7. We made it an
adventure. And what an adventure it was. We stayed
2 and 1/2 years. They truly enjoyed the experience.
In fact, my oldest son is once again here with us.
For we have moved here again 1 and 1/2 years ago.
And our middle son would also like to join us.
Our youngest would except his fiance is totally
opposed to it.
I am not sure where you are moving to. But just remember
there is always internet and the phone. This makes it
much better. We even have a skype # here so we can call
anyone anytime and vise versa. I am not sure if you go to
church. But that has always been a great resource for us.
My husband and I have moved probably over 15 times in our
27 1/2 years of marriage. This does not mention how many times I moved as a child. Kids are generally resilient and
make friends wherever they go. Enjoy the adventure and be excited about the new place you are going. Check it out on the internet and find out all its interesting facts and places to go. My best to you!!! God bless you. K.

I moved to Columbia 1 1/2 years ago and had a great experience. I (like you) was VERY apprehensive about uprooting my kids (ages 5&7) especially since my daughter was extremely shy, and I was a stay at home mom that would have kids in school all day and I wasn't ready to start working again. I don't know where you are moving to, but Columbia is such a transcient community, it was much easier to meet people than I thought. Also, I found out about a Bible Study through Alive In Christ Church that is for Newcomers. It is specifically for women that are new to the area and studies the book "After the Boxes Are Unpacked" by Susan Miller. Not only was I able to read a book about dealing with moving and the emotions that are involved, but I also immediately gained 13 new friends that were all in the same position. And we continue to get together regularly. You may not have a group like this available where you are moving to, but you can certainly seek it out... most found out about it through the Welcome Wagon. If you can't find it, read the book and you may get some tips.

Good luck to you and your family! And by the way, my shy daughter is MUCH more outgoing and it appears the move was a positive thing for her since it forced her to learn to make friends faster!

Hi S.,

I don't want this to come out wrong, but instead of looking at what you will miss, be thankful your husband has a job! And that it's a promotion.

I can't say that I can offer any good advice but we did move in the middle of my sophomore year in high school. By my senior year I was captain of the cheerleading squad AND homecoming queen, beating 2 girls who had lived there their entire lives. The experience will be what YOU make of it. If you're sad and miserable your kids will be too.

Since you're a stay at home mom and home school you will have to make an effort to be out and find opportunities to make new friends and have fun.

Sorry, I hope I didn't sound like a mom lecturing, but I guess I just recently have had this discussion with a family member and friend who will be moving at the end of the school year. No, I'm not uprooting my family but as I said above, I have experienced it first hand and the experience is what you make of it. Plus, in this economy just be thankful of the job.

Lori K

S., I lived in Wisconsin for slightly longer than 10 years and then moved back to what I considered "home" here in Missouri ( which is only about a 10 hour drive ) I have to tell you that there are definitely good things about a big move, although there are a lot of adjustments too. For us, we had our oldest son who had to change schools so of course he was a little apprehensive about that at the time, but he made new friends, and he kept in touch with some of his friends like pen pals. Now with almost everyone having emails and sites like facebook or snapfish you can keep in touch through pictures etc. I say with any move that its stressful and an adjustment, but keep on a positive attitude and a smile and tell yourself it will be a great oppertunity to make new friends ( and still keep the older friends) there will be some homesickness I won't lie, but think of the vacations you can go on, its great to discover "new" things to do in a place you already knew and loved!!! ( we just got back from a trip to Wisconsin)
Good luck!!!
B.

I just experienced the same thing last Feb. We moved 12 hours away from a super family/community support system AND I left my career of 18 years to be astay at home mom. We had a good transition in that my husband works less and is more involved with the kids, I actually have a clean, organized house for once and my kids love the schools here. The hardest part for me was making the drastic change from working mom to stay at home mom. I can't make the excuse that I work outside the home when soemthing goes undone, so I feel really driven to be the best mom/wife/housekeeper etc. that I can be. I actually work harder now than I ever did.
One thing that made it fun for the kids was to stay in a hotel with an indoor swimming pool for the first few nights until the house is ready to move in to. They loved it! We also added some other excursions and lots of dining out. They felt like they were on a vacation instead of leaving the only home they ever knew.
One thing I haven't done yet that I wished I had was to find a good church home to get involved in. I really think that helps when you need a little TLC and reassurance.

About 4 years ago I was offered a job that would relocate my family from New England to the Midwest (17 hours). The cost of living was significantly lower in the Midwest (enough that we could actually afford a decent home there). At the time I was offered the job my daughter was 3 months old and my son was 2.

Since i needed to start the new job, it was my job to find a place to live and to scope out the area - yeah i was the scout.

I took the time to learn all i could about our new digs. I decided to check out how family friendly the location was so i could plan activities for the weekends. Encouraged hubby who was a sahd to go back to school so he could find others who had similar interest as himself. Me, I decided to join a gardening club - i now had a yard and needed all the help I could get..hehe

For my kids, I enrolled them in our local programs (YMCA would also be a good place to go as well) just so they could get out of the house and meet kids their age. A good place to establish normalcy would be a place of worship as well.

Like I said, it's been 4 years now and we are expecting #3 any day now. The move didn't affect me so much as it has now. I do have some close friends here in the area, but there is nothing like calling Nana/Papa or Grandma to see if they could watch the kids while you go out on date night with your hubby. The logistics of figuring out what to do with the kids when you have to get to the hospital has caused a little stress. But we will manage.

Good luck with the move and please keep us posted.

My husband is in the military. We have only made one big move, which was from Wisconsin to Kansas. We're about 13 hours away from "home". And we've been away for almost 5 years. The thing that really works for my kids, ages 5 and 2, is the webcam. My parents have one and my grandma has one. We get on there a lot to talk with them. Holidays are great because everyone at my Grandma's house gets on to say hi to all of us.
As for the new house, we let my son pick which room he wanted (minus the master) and then he got to pick where he wanted everything. For the move, I would let the kids keep out special stuff. Let them pack the special things seperately in their own box or suitcase. That way it's ready as soon as you get to the house.
Good Luck!

Good Morning S., In 91 we moved from Ks to TX. Our son's were 15,17. We only had lived in KS. Hubby was in military before we were married so he in a way was into long moves. Plus he traveled in his jobs.
So the 4 of us flew to TX for a wk to look for housing. We settled in Bayou Vista, TX Mainland side of Galveston.
the boys helped us decide which home we liked the best! We loved it, right on a canal. Believe it or not it Survived IKE too!!

We home schooled also but the boys or the youngest anyway wanted to attend public school but we heard so many horror stories about the gangs in certain city's close by. We continued to home school. Neither one could drive in TX yet. Unless they had a $250.00 Drivers ed class. or turned 18. Our eldest waited to be 18. Our youngest took the class. Both had Ks Licenses but they meant nothing in Tx.

Your children are young enough they should do well with a move, make it an adventure to look forward too. Tell them it will be a place where Gr ma & Gr pa, Aunt's, Uncles, can come and take a vacation and we can show them the sites.
Teach them to write letters to their friends left behind or how to send email.

We came back to KS in 98 when hubby's company a subsidiary of Boeing was purchased by USA. He had worked closely with NASA and all the astronaut's on the space flights. He would of had to start from the beginning with senoirity and all that goes along with it.

We found a home again in Benton, ks. ( we love small town living) It was important at the time to be closer to his dad and elderly aunt. My mom was showing first stages of Alzheimer's also.

Up until the day we were to leave our eldest son was coming back with us. He opted to stay in TX. he was 23 almost 24 at the time. It broke my heart to leave him and I swear I cried all the way to the KS border. This was the first time he and I had ever been apart. Glad he stayed thou, he married his best friends sister and they live on the other side of Benton now :)) And we have Corbin & Zane to love on.
Hubby's dad is right around the corner from us, at 87 has found we think his first love from HS...lol His aunt has passed on and Mom passed away this past Aug. So we have been where we needed to be.

Make your move Fun and Exciting. Find a church to get involved in. Take your neighbors cookies after you move in and introduce yourselves. Send for Information from the Chamber of Commerence before you move to see what is in your area.

I wish you well S. and Know in my heart you all will do great!!

K. Nana of 5
in ks.
PS where are you moving to ? Maybe someplace warmer the Arkansas?

Hi S. -
We just did "the big move" from Cali to Kansas!!! We were/are not happy at all either... Leaving friends and family has been like death... Thank God for the internet! My friends joined Facebook and had me join as well. It helps both me and my youngest (8 years old) to feel a little bit in touch. Another thing we did for our 8-year-old was call this an "adventure" and talk about the many kids who have gone before him (pilgrims, pioneers, etc). We talk about their feelings, his feelings, and then tried our best to make each step "exciting". We talked about each difference in an exciting way (or tried to) and how we will remember to share this with our friends on Facebook, email, and phone. I let him use my cell phone to call his friends... that helps... and we are getting Skype so they can call for free.

Well S., I cannot say it was a "great experience" while we were making the trek (during the worst storms in years), but looking back on it, it makes for great converstaion. (It was just 3 weeks ago - and already we are able to have some exciting conversations about this move.)

Blessings to you and your family. May I ask where you are headed?

LisaB (mother of 4 (3 grown, 1 growing), homeschooling mom too)

Hi S.,

Another military mom chiming in here. My daughter is now 6 and has lived in 4 different homes in 4 different states. It is probably harder on you than it is on the kids. Here are some of the tips I've learned the hard way.

Be sure to keep some toys, favorite toys aside, or the movers will pack it all in a box and your child will cry that all their toys are gone.

If at all possible, take the kids or have a trusted friend, take the kids somewhere fun while their rooms are being packed up. It is less traumatic for them to go away and come back to boxes than to see all of their stuff put into the boxes. And they won't be fighting the packers about "NO, I need that, don't put it in the box" And they won't be unpacking the box the second the packer picks up a new item.

Involve them in the new house idea as much as possible. If you are able, start dreaming up new room ideas. One thing that makes the move somewhat exciting is letting the kids decide how they want to decorate their new room. My daughter had a Care Bear themed room and when we moved, she couldn't wait to get a "Littlest Pet Shop" room. In fact, her room is the only one we've painted so far. It is pink and blue like the pet shop packages (you can color match just about anything at Home Depot) and she is totally in love with it. This is a major incentive for the kids. And it is fun to see their tastes change. We'll be moving in another 2 years or so, and I wonder if she will still want another Littlest Pet room, or something more grown up at that point.

Involve them in choosing schools if you can. This latest move, my daughter was going to enter kindergarten, so school was a big component for us. You can do a lot of research online about the area schools. You can see their state "report cards" to see how well the students are performing at each school in the district. It can break down lots of demographic info and you can learn alot about the area. Some districts have websites that have photo tours of the schools so you can see if they look well kept, old or new. There are probably a ton of houses on the market wherever you are going, so if you can narrow it down by a school district or elementary school that your kids can be excited about, all the better. If you plan to keep homeschooling, that may not matter, but you might choose to be close to a library or maybe an activity center where other homeschoolers get together. As a military mom, resale of the house is a big consideration, too. If you are in a desirable school district, that always helps with resale.

Get an address book for each kid if they need one so they can have all their friends addresses and contact info in a special place. You can even find some fun stationery or maybe special pens they can give their friends now that they are going to be "Pen Pals". Get a bunch of pens with your kid's name on them to give out to friends, and get pens with the friend's names for your kid to keep. Then when your kid is missing "Joe", he can write a letter with his "Joe" pen.

See if the new area has a tourism bureau or a website. Sometimes the parks and recreation department will have pictures of the playgrounds or at least lists of where the playgrounds are. The kids are bound to get excited about exploring them to find the best play equipment. You could even make it a game of sorts. Make some sort of rating system so as you go to each one, they can judge the new playground on different criteria. Which one has the best slides? Swings? Overall layout? Best number of activities? Then they can have a new "favorite" playground.

See if the new area has something new they can try. This is the first location we've been that has a year-round ice rink. If the new area has something new like that, maybe they could take some lessons or try it out as something to get excited about.

Moving can be a new adventure. Don't think of it as what you're missing out on back "home". Think of it as what new things await that will enrich and teach you new things. I hope I've said at least something useful. Good luck.

I moved here to KC in October of 07 all the way from michigan! 12 hrs away from my family, friends and a job that I loved. We have 2 kids 11 and 7 and at first it was difficult for them. We got involved in kids activities at school, they both joined Karate through the school, we got season passes for Worlds of fun and Oceans of fun and we just stayed busy. We talked on the phone alot with family and friends and we all got web cams for our computers, so we could see each other's faces when needed. It takes time, but you adjust to your new surroundings. It has been the most difficult for me this holiday season because we did not make the trip back to see anyone. I feel that this move was awesome for us as a family, as a couple! It seems to be getting better day by day! You will miss your family and friends, but you will also make new ones, so I wish you the best of luck!

well we are experienced in big moves being a military family. What worked for us was always finding a church right away and getting involved. It helped the kids make new friends quicker and had fun activities to do as they were making new friends. Also always getting involved as much as possible with their schools helps. I usually got to know neighbors right away too and we always seemed to make friends quick and still email all those friends and keep in contact even though we are all spread across the world right now and probably won't ever live near each other again but still have those contacts so make sure you have emails of your friends you have right now and keep in contact with your current friends and think of ways to make new friends when you get to your new destination. A church family helps a lot and can also find out information as to where things are located that way as well. I don't think we ever had a hard time moving and we averaged moving every 2-3 years and now hubby is retired Army and have finally settled somewhere and will probably stay here until the kids graduate high school but I know if we did have to move that our kids will adjust well again. Just keep your attitude positive as your children will pick up how you feel and if you are miserable then they will be too and that will make things a lot harder for you as well as your hubby that probably is enjoying his new adventure. check out everything you can about the area and find fun things to do with your family. That will also help make your move go more smoothly when you get to know the area and find out what fun family things are available.

Hi S.!
We just moved from Garden City, KS to Hutchinson, KS (3 hrs. from Garden City). For my husband's job (he was transfered). We moved in with my mom (scary, I know). We have 2 boys: 7 y/o & 3 y/o. My oldest was excited to move in with grandma. My youngest still wants to 'go home' sometimes (since it was the only home he ever knew). I think that is the hardest part- trying to explain to a 3 y/o that this is home now. I have enrolled my oldest in elkhart cyber school for the semester, because we are only staying here until our house in Garden City sells & we pay off all or our debts (probly 2-3 months). Then we are moving to Salina.
Get them into something such as a youth group at a church, AWANA (church), sports, YMCA, boy/girl scouts, ect. Anything that they can meet new friends. Keep in touch with your freinds, to keep your sanity!

God bless!
I miss my friends & church family greatly, but my friends & we rarely got to see eachother because our schedules were hard to sincronize. We still talk on the phone & e-mail.

S.,
Yes this can be very scary. We moved 15 hours away from everyone when the kids where 6 and 5.
Look at the move as a great adventure. We took the first 6 months after our move to be tourists in our new area. We had neighbors who gave us some great and not so great places to visit. It was fun and educational. Now we have lived here more than 10 years. Great new friends. We still write and email old friends from our old home state.
Good luck and you will do great.

Been there done that! We moved from NW Minnesota to SW Missouri following a natural disaster. We knew no one here except one person (only knowing her...while we had heard about her husband and kids, we had never met them in person); we stayed with her and her family approx. the first 3 weeks here until we could find a job and place of our own. In the end, we eventually had a falling out and no long are friends.

Eventually, we divorced and I relocated again, approx. 50 south of there to be closer to school. I've since been an unemployed single mom, pursuing my education; my children and myself live with my boyfriend. I don't have many friends or family here, so I would say that as a stay-at-home mom that homeschools, the best way to get adjusted to your new area would be to get all the information you can on the new area you are moving to, get out and meet some people once you get there. If you ever need advice or wish to chat, drop me a line.

Hi S., my husband, girls and I did that back in 2003 from Louisiana. Fortunately my husband moved first and we visited for a week twice which helped our girls with the move. Got them excited about it. They were 4 and 5 at the time. My advice to you is find a church. We found a church and a Sunday school class that helped us even more. Helped us meet people and make new friends. Thru that it helped us find things we liked to do with people we liked to do them with. My girls and I stayed where we were until school was finished and my husband was here. He got to know the area and thru work we was told where to go and what to do. So when we visited he could show us around. We lived with my parents for the time since our house sold so fast. Don't know if you'll get that pleasure but it sure was helpful for us. Good luck and God Bless and Congratulations on your husbands promotion.

I was a kid who moved a lot - military family overseas from 1st grade to college in different countries, and I would recommend researching your new home to find out cool things to do, unique experiences you can have, and try finding a moms/play group (in your case maybe a homeschool group of some sort) to get into when you arrive. You may choose not to stick with it, but kids anxiety is usually about being "the new kid" and not having their friends. The faster they can find one or 2, the easier the whole experience should be for you all. Best of luck enjoying all of the "new" you are headed for.

HI S.,

I know this is late, but...enjoy the adventure. It is a great experience in personal growth (whether you want it or not) and once you've moved somewhere else you can see the good and bad about different places, but that we are all the same really. It's not easy (I moved from overseas and have lived in St Louis for the last 2 years)yet I have changed my perspective on many things, and realized my priorities as well! The internet is great for staying in touch - I have webcam so I can speak and see people, which is great for my daughters to "see" friends and relatives. When you visit "home" everyone is excited to see you, and will make time for you. I caught up with more friends and family in 3 weeks than I normally do in a year, as they knew I would be flying back to my "new" home here very soon.
Good luck!