Nervous About Moving

Congratulations to your husband on the promotion! I have moved 3 times in the past 4 years and will be moving again this June, so I know what a daunting process it can be. My husband is finishing his masters and we were here for 2 years of classes, in FL for a year for an internship, back here in St Louis for a 4th year of classes and now we'll be moving again once he is finished. Some of the things that have really helped me to feel connected are: creating a blog so family and friends can keep up with our family; maintaining friendships through email, myspace, facebook, etc.; getting involved in my church; and joining a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group. I have 2 little ones, and it is really easy to isolate yourself at home and not venture out. MamaSource will probably be a great resource for you too once you find out where you are going. God's blessings on your husband's job, your move, and getting settled!

Hi J.,

As a former military wife for 22 years, I can really relate to what you are feeling. I made up my mind early on, that I was going to make an adventure out of it. As soon as we knew we were relocating, I made it my job, to find out everything I could about the city. If you are involved in anything such as a church, organization or hobby where you are now, you can easily get connected there. You basically need to seek out the community that you want in order to find your nitche there. If you scrapbook, find a local source and start going to a class. Or when you relocate and get moved in, bake bread or cakes or whatever it is that you like to make and give some to your new neighbors. Don't wait for them to come over first. Many churches have Mother's Day out programs, for a very reasonable fee, for 2 day per week you can leave the 2 year old and have a bit of one on one with the baby. Good for everyone. Often you can meet people in community classes at the local jr. college or an exercise class. Many of the gyms have onsite daycare where you can see the kids. You can sign up for a class and do something good for yourself. If you make yourself jump in and get involved, you will meet people and be much happier during the transition. It is a mindset that you go into the moving process with. Make sure you take the time to do some good things for yourself. As soon as you start meeting people, as for referrals for Drs. Dentists, hair stylist, manicurist, etc. What ever your passion is, you can do it there too. If it doesn't exist there yet, Start it up. It can be really exciting and fun to seek out fun and positive experiences. You will all be less stressed, the more you find out about where you are going. Every place has good things about it. Find out what is good where you are going. Stay focused in positive frame of mind and things will fall into place. check out the local chamber of commerce for info. Look up the history of the city and what is popular there. If you are positive, my guess is, hubby and kids will follow suit. It is hard to relocate, but it can also be like opening up a present on Christmas with each fun discovery. Don't know if you are religious at all or not, but we have tried different things,and what has helped us the most, was to join a sunday school class. There was so much to get involved in that was good for our family and I met a lot of moms with common interests. We had to visit a few churches to find one the we felt was a good match for us, then when we did, we started going to a sunday school class. People sought us out and were so friendly. It was awesome. Best of luck to you.

Hi J.,

My friend has been in your shoes three times now. Her husband has been moved all over the place. The one thing that she consistently does and becomes very active in is the local MOPS groups in her new towns. They have taken her under their wings each time, knowing that she was starting all over in new towns. If MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) isn't your thing, find a scrapbooking or book club...whatever your interest is. Try to make immediate contact with the ladies in your new community.

My friend also keeps a blog and puts pictures or funny things the kids do on it about everyday. Because her family knows how often she does this, they are constantly writing her little notes back, which helps her feel connected.

I wish you and your family the best of luck!
A.

J.,

Hi! I am an Air Force SAHM. It can be scary, but I found that my attitude held me back more than anything. I started to look at things like an adventure. That changed the picture drastically. If you look at it that way, you become more adventurous and daring! The kids will pick up on it and will be excited even though they may be sad at first.

A new place means new opportunities. Find the nearest playgrounds, playplaces, etc. on-line or when you get there. Start hanging out at those places with the kids. The kids find new friends easily and when they ask for a new friend to come over, you've already started making new friends and a new support system. It happens faster than you think. It will be okay as long as you are open to it.

I hope it helps. I'll be moving in a few months as well, waiting for the next adventure. Just know you can write me and I'll help if I can. You're not alone!

N. :)

The best idea I can tell you is simply......you really aren't moving to a place where you "don't know a single person". You are taking the 3 most important people in your life with you - your 2 children, and a wonderful husband.

Very early in life, I moved with a husband and 6 month old son, several hundred miles away from my hometown. Being a military family, we only got to come "home" one time a year, for 30 days at a time. It was our vacation.

Our second move was with a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a 2-week-old. Met people REALLY fast that time - everyone wanted to hold the baby! 'Course, I was nervous & didn't let them - I was really protective of my kids! HA! But my point is, you will all meet people faster than you realize, if you just relax.

The neighbors will see you moving into the new place, and they will be as curious about you as you are about them. If you just be yourself, I'm sure you and your husband will meet new friends in no time.

I realized after just a couple of weeks, it wasn't just us. Whether it was on the military base, or on the "outside", I found other mothers in the same situation - they had either moved, or just been staying inside with the kids.

You may find a little park, or playground, where other Moms are taking their kids to play. This will give you and your kids fresh, healthy air, as well as letting you meet other people, and letting your kids learn to socialize with others.

Going into it with a positive attitude really helps. I can tell you do have a positive attitude, and that's great! You seem to realize just how lucky you are, having a husband that appreciates you enough to encourage you every day.

I believe you will have a very long and happy life together. God bless you.

Kathy

We just moved to a new city too! I also know no one and have a 2 1/2 year old and am 5 mths pregnant. I am joining a MOPS group and am hoping to get involved in a church that has some young family groups. My advice would be to join whatever mom's groups your new city has available and try to pick a neighborhood with lots of young families. I don't know if that helps, but we are in the same boat!

Been there ~ done that! This can be a wonderful opportunity for you & your husband to grow closer as a couple. When my husband & I left our hometown for a move w/3 kids (10, 3 & 1) for a promotion, we learned to rely on each other more than we had in our 12 years of marriage. By moving away from all of our support-system, we had only each other to turn to in times of turmoil. For your sanity mom, I would suggest really studying possible neighborhoods before purchasing a home. Try to find one with lots of sahm. Look into ones with active neighborhood associations.
Most importantly, give yourself time to adjust. It took me about a year to really feel comfortable & establish new friendships through our church, school & neighborhood.
Good luck & congrats on the wonderful opportunity!

I moved a lot with my first husband and 3 children as he climbed the ladder of success. I found that you can meet people at church who have children the same ages as your own. Another idea - hang out at a local McDonald's playground once in awhile and you will meet other Moms and their kids. Also, you can sometimes find public libraries with Story Time and you will meet others there. Good Luck and you WILL make it! Trust me.

B. G. (OK)

Hi J.,

I am in a very similar situation. We just moved from CO to OK where I don't know anyone. There's a great group called "Mommies and ME" that you could research and find a chapter near you. Also, I joined a group called CafeMom, an online neighborhood, and have made some new friends in my area, near Tulsa. You never know, you might meet someone online that just lives down the street and you can set up a play date for the kids. CafeMom is divided into a variety of groups so you can join those with similar interests.

Anoher way to meet people is through a church of your faith. Another way is to volunteer at a senior center and bring your kids...the folks there ususally jave family that live in different states and they's be happy to be a suraget grandmother or grandfather. You can check this out online also.

I, too, was afraid of the move but have settled down quite well and my son has made many friends. He's almost 15 so making friends would be easier for him than you and your llittle ones. Have you thought about a local park...you probably could met some neighborhood mommies that are looking for friends also.

Good luck on your move and finding new friends for yourself and your children. Who knows, maybe you'll meet someone like me who's grandchildren live elsewhere and would love to be around little ones and mommies.

nanawinq
W. Q

The best thing I can tell you to do is to get involved. I'n your community, your church, get your kids in play groups or activities. All of these things will leas to meeting new people. I know it's hard. We lived 10 hours away from our families when my first son was born and I was miserable! I didn't know how to get out there and meet new people. I was so lonely. After the next move and another baby, I found out that it didn't have to be that bad. You just have to put yourself out there in situations and places where you will meet people with similar interests and lifestyles....I know it's scary but you'll do great! Best of Luck to you and your family.....

We did this 14 years ago. We moved from California to Kansas. I was eight months pregnant with our second child. Just be positive and put yourself out there. We found a great church ad made great friends I still have today! Also looks for moms in touch groups and other support groups where you are moving to. Good-luck and look at it as a adventure!

IF you have a little time before the big move started now to get to knew your new places take out a subsciption to the local newspaper, call the local chamber of business and ask then to sign a new comers package. Remeber to plan a timeout with your friends and family where you are now. Take lots of pictures. Also if you go to check check the internet for some leads on a good church where you are going. and again if you have some time e-mail the checks and ask them about things that are inportant to you like moms day out , parents night out, a good musrey for todders or anything else that is of value to you. Also found out if the place where are moving has a newcomers group. They may have kids play dates, or a book club.

I've been through this before and I won't lie to you...it's rough. Here's my biggest piece of advice...get yourself out there and meet people. Your church is a good place. Find a MOMS Club or Newcomers Club who have weekly get togethers for stay at home moms. Go to storytime at the libraries & bookstores. Join a gym with daycare. It's not going to happen overnight, but within a few months you'll find yourself with some new friends. Just don't give up!!

I too had to move 250mls from where I grew up for my DH job and I thought I was totally ready but I went thru 2 jobs in the first 6 mos after we moved because I found I just wanted to 'go home'.
I would suggest as soon as you know which of the 3 cities you will be moving to, make a trip there as soon as you can, stop at the city council office or even family outreach sources try to find some moms groups (internet too is wonderful for this) in the area that may have play dates together. Head to the local parks as soon as it gets nice out and don't be afraid to talk to someone, that's my problem I don't just speak up so it took my a long time to meet people. If you go to church get settled into a new church soon after you move and chat up the other moms there too.

Hello Jennife,
I know just how you feel.
My husband had a job where he traveled all over
the United States for last 10yrs.
My 2 daughters and I have traveled over 42 state
in the last 10yrs with him and we only got to go home to
see my Family in Okla & Texas about 2-3 times a year
and yes that was hard but now my husband got
a job here in Kansas and we stopped traveling and
yes it hard to meet new friend but I have always had
prayed and had faith in the lord to help my girls meet new friends and they always did:) so don't worry everything
will fall in place once you & your family get move.
If things start to get hard for you think of all the new
things you and husband, Kids will get to do once ya'll get
moved and that is what allways helped me too...
know that you are only human to feel nerves to move way
from your Family and Friends and start a new life but it
is a better life for you & ur Family..
God Bless You & Family and Have a salf move...

Hi:) We just moved out of St. Ann to San Antonio Texas. I was nervous too:) I found a church when we got here and now things feel a lot more comfortable. Just a thought. Good luck with the move:)

Probably your new neighborhood will welcome you & before you know it you will have "new" friends. Also find out when the book store has story time & also the library. Hang out at the pool & park & chit chat with people there. Also you could sign up at your church for Bible School or MDO for the kids. The director will help you.

We have moved quite a bit, but mostly when the boys have been in grade school and older. It's very stressful, but it can also be an adventure. It's a new place to explore. Every community has a different way of doing things that often is better than your old community did things. Keep an open mind. Before one particularly tough move, a friend gave me a book titled "After the Boxes are Packed" by S. Miller. It is a Focus on the Family book. The author shares her stories that support and encourage women who are going through the transition of a move. You might be thinking, "Yeah right, like I have time to read" It is a very easy read and so worth the few minutes a day that you put into it. There are scripture references to help us keep our heart focused on what is right.
I agree with the other posters, get involved very quickly with a MOPS group and finding a church home. Don't be bashful about admitting that you are new to the area. People are generally gracious and want to help you out. Let us know here at Mamasource where you will be moving to. Chances are... one of us have lived there before!

Hi J., I understand how you feel about moving. It is stressfull. Like others have suggested I would agree MOPS is a good place to start. If you can afford to put your kids in a mother's day out program, volunteering at some of the schools can also help get you in contact with other moms. And also, what helped me were church groups. But what ever you decide I really want to encourage you to reach out and meet people. It will really help your self esteem and help with the adjustment. And won't drive you crazy because you are stuck at home. Oh, reach out to your neighbors, young or old. Because, they have been there awhile they might get you in contact with others too. I pray your move is smooth and you are able to adjust well. I agree, to with others, let us know where you moved to, we probably lived there before.

J.: I know how you feel. I moved to a new state when my son was only 11 days old! Then moved again to another state when he was only 2 years old. The best thing I did was found mom groups in the area. In our first state the school district had programs for parents and kids starting from birth to Kindergarten. I was able to meet many moms there. When we moved again I enrolled my son in preschool and was able to get to know mom's that way. I also joined our local chapter of MOPS. It is a great way to meet moms and kids in your area. Their website is www.mops.org and it stands for mothers of preschoolers. I met so many of my great friends through this organization. Hopefully some of this helped.

S.

I moved from Mass to Missouri but I wasnt yet a MOM but still moving to a new State and leaving family and friends behind its can be very unnerving. I found a mom group here when I became a mom and met one good friend from it. I also found on myspace its called CAFEMOM.COM its a great place to meet moms in your area and you can find different groups within it to meet moms in your age range and your childrens age range. Where you moving from and to?

Hope that was helpful

Good Luck on the move.

Think positive! I was also a SAHM, and we moved a few times, when my little ones were 3, and again when they were 6, and then when they were 12 (I have twins). I hated the idea of every move, but each place turned out to be my favorite within a very short period of time. With little kids, it's easy to get involved and meet other moms, and nowadays with the Internet, I still stay in touch with my friends from other places. I would go to story time at the public library, find other play groups, and once they start school you'll meet all the other moms while waiting to drop off and pick up your little ones ... park the car and walk up to the school, there are always others there that do the same. At first you'll be busy setting up your new house, and then just go out and find those other moms ... they are out there, if you make a little bit of an effort to find them!

This is a great time for growth for you and your husband, but it is scary. There are
MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers groups) in churches all over the country. They are wonderful!
Contact the Chamber of Commerce in your new community and they can send you a newcomer's packet before you even move there. There are also Newcomer's Clubs in most
cities. Churches/temples/synagogues are great places to meet other mothers of young
children. Go to places where moms and kids congregate, such as community pools and
parks. Strike up conversations by complimenting something about the mom, her kids, or the
great stroller she has. Before you know it, you will have new friends. Just remember to
keep in touch with your friends in the old community also. Make new friends, but keep the
old, one is silver and the other is gold!!!

I have to admit I have been in your position. It is not an easy task. I met people through church, preschool,story time at the library. The best advice is just get out there, and before you know it you will have new friends. It is very scary and takes some time.
Always keep in touch with friends that you already have via email, telephone, or mail. It helps quite a bit with adjusting to your move. Moving is very stressful. Best Wishes, and Good Luck.

I am a new mommy (my first baby boy is 7 weeks old) and we just moved across the country away from all of our family and friends so that my husband can go to school. Of course I miss everyone back home, but I've been suprised to discover that I also enjoy the time we have to grow closer as our own little family unit. To pass the lonely daytime hours (when my little guy is napping and there's no other adult company), I've found plenty of activities that I enjoy doing on my own: scrapbooking, decorating my home, reading, writing, exercising. Enjoy the "YOU" time, and know that you'll make new friends eventually if you want to.

I have moved 7 times with my husband. 3 of those times I either had a child, was pregnant with a child, or had 2 kids.
When you move, find a church if you are a person of faith.
It is a GREAT way to meet people. Our church has a mom's group, a mom's day out, and a dinner club which is a great way for your husband to meet people too.
It was a godsend for me as I am a VERY social person.
Also, when you move, make lists of everything you will need for you, your husband and your children to have in the car.
Make up snack bags, put a box of crafts and books in the midlle of the cars seats so that the kids can reach it by themselves and above all, TRY not to set a time frame to move. Take an extra day if you are driving and allow for enough potty and walking around stops. Your kids will thank you and your sanity will remain intact!
Jenny,
mom of 2, 5 and 4 years old.

As a military wife, I know how you feel! We moved to Oklahoma almost 4 years ago, his family is in Georgia and mines in Ohio. Yes, it will be hard at first, but join local mommy/child play groups. This really helped me. The move also made our marriage stronger. You learn to depend on each other more and realize each others weakness and strengths more easily. This also makes the time when you do see family a better visit! Good Luck! If ya need to talk, send me a message.

Psychologically speaking, moving is the most stressful thing you can do. But in this day and age it's not as hard as it used to be. Keep in mind that you can keep in touch with your friends much easier through phone calls, texting, im'ing and emailing. When my husband and I move later this year (lucky you, I have no clue where we'll end up) I intend to use MySpace, Facebook and Cafemom to make new friends. It's hard, but if you made friends before you can make friends now. Good luck!

I moved 3 hours away from all of my family and friends when I got married so that my husband could finish his last year at University. I'm not going to lie, it sucks. I also have a friend who moved to Germany and found out she was pregnant 2 weeks later. Perhaps if you are religious then you could find a good church that really welcomes new people. Or volunteering somewhere or even finding a part time job somewhere that you could take your children such as a daycare will help introduce you to more people and make the transition smoother. You could also meet wives of people your husband works with. Those are really the only things I can think of. Good luck with the move, I know how hard it is.

start with finding the library and a good church. lots of chances for meeting good people there. :)

Hi J.,
I always liked the excitement of a new start anytime we moved. It never took long to meet new friends. I always went to "church" so that was always the first outlet. Neighbors always had children too and somehow, we never seemed to be without friends.
Best wishes & may God be with you.
C.

Hi J.,
We moved half way across the country when my first son was 15 months old. I didn't know a soul in our new home. My son is now 11 and we have some wonderful friends here. I am a SAHM and met many of our friends at church. I also met lots of great women at my son's pre school and eventually kindergarten. I made it a point to be very active in class parties etc. I have also met people while at soccer practice and scouts. I know a lot of those activities are a few years away for your little ones. But the time will fly. My suggestion for right away would be to find a church with great children's programing and become involved. You could also check out Gymboree type classes with your little ones. You would meet lots of moms with similiar aged kids. You will probably become closer to your husband as well, since you will only have each other at first! Good luck.
D.

My husband, 6 year old child and I made a big move about 7 months ago. My husband works long days so my daughter and I had to find our way around on our own. I think what worked for us is that we checked out the activities in the community. Local libraries usually have great story times for little ones or Gymboree is great for both of your kids ages. Check out the Park & Recreation department of the city you are moving to for great kid events. We especially like the YMCA and their sport programs for the little kids and if you want to work out most locations have childcare! I have met allot of wonderful woman through my childs activities. Good luck with the move.

You are blessed with the internet now so you can view the paper(s) of that city beforehand. Search for things you like, clubs you might enjoy, groups you would feel comfortable in... you only have to go once to a good group or club meeting to meet some new people. There is, of course, your church which could link you with a sister church in that area. Even though it will be new, you won't be alone... you'll have your husband (also starting a new job with people he does not know) and your children... both paths to meeting new people while giving you the opportunity to reconnect and nurture your relationships with your family as well. Good luck and the best to you all!