Moral/ethical Question

Since her "issues" are causing problems for you too, I think you should talk with her about it. Find a time when you can talk with her alone and ask her point blank if she has become addicted to her prescription. (You probably have some inside information since you took that business trip together.) Addiction to prescription drugs is a very common situation, and I have no idea why doctors continue prescribing those medications. Let her know that you are concerned for her first and foremost. She might open up a little more and share with you what is going on in her life.

My best advise to you is to visit an Al-anon chapter near you.
This is similar to what families go thru with Alcoholics. They have great supportive get togethers and may be of help to you.

I personally think that you should say something, to SOMEONE!!! Perhaps you could talk to her directly? The thing is that if she does have a drug problem, it will affect her whole life eventually - her family, her job, and her health. I have known several people with serious drug problems and one of them is even dead now! They all started out addicted to prescriptions. This is VERY serious and needs to be addressed.

I would first talk to her and mention that you have noticed she has been missing a lot of meetings and work and that EVERYONE has been having to pick up the slack for her.

Perhaps you will even mention that, with the economy the way it currently is, it would be a good idea for her to try to pull herself up and get back to work, or she may be in danger of losing her job.

Also, you could say that you have heard a lot of rumors about her prescription drug use, and you are concerned that she may be addicted. Saying it this way may keep you from being the fall guy when she finds out that everyone knows about it..otherwise, she may know that it all came from you from that trip you took together.

Tell her that some people were considering telling your boss that she is addicted to drugs. Ask her if she has tried to seek help for her addiction. If she has, ask her if she would like some help with her recovery.

If she has not sought help, ask her to please consider having a three-way phone call right now with you, her and your boss so that she may ask him/her if the company has any sort of benefits that would give her time off for treatment. A lot of big companies have insurance to cover addiction treatment programs.

She might be mad at you. I would be surprised if she doesn't get mad...but tell her that you don't think less of her because of her addiction, it honestly could happen to anyone...but tell her you are there for her, and will support her as long as she seeks help.

If she refuses to talk to the boss, make sure she knows that you will. You owe it to yourself to have a less stressful work environment (even if you work from home, she can affect your stress level), and for everyone to do their own fair share of the work. It isn't fair for her to expect everyone to cover for her all of the time, and she needs to hear that.

I wish the best for both of you.

If I were close to my boss I think I would go to him "off the record" The two of you can decide if you need to make it "on the record". If she does have a problem it sounds like she might need help fixing it. I know you want to mind your own business but if you consider yourself her fiend then you should do what is best for her as a person.

Hey M., you are in a spot but please listen to me. I know that her Dr. can not give her more meds. if he had just given her some, the Dr.'s have to be accountable for what and how much controled meds they write scripts for. You didn't save how long the trip was when this happened? Also you said she ran out of what she had brought on day one then called her Dr. who called in another script for where y'all were and ran out of that on day two and had her husband send more. That is 3 bottles of her meds, do you know what it was? Not only is she addicted to her meds, but she sounds like she may have some mental issues, maybe Bipolar?? I am bipolar and just a few months ago I finally went to a Dr. and was diagnosed and medicated for it. My Dr. is still working to get my meds just right but the anger then being ok just like that sounds like me! I get so angry at times and don't know why and then I'm just fine in a bit. My meds also make me sleepy, all do until your body gets use to it and then the sleepiness will stop. To me her symptoms sound like classic bipolar, now about all the meds she went through in 3 days...you said that was about a year ago, have you seen or know of her still taking the pills? I mean I assume she is still messing up? Do you know her husband real good? If you do then you need to go straight to him, in person and tell him what you know and ask him what is going on. Don't let him tell you that he doesn't know because I know he does. Find out if she is going to more then one Dr. because thats what it sounds like to me thats why she was able to get so much meds in such a short time. Which by the way is against the law for her to Dr. shop, addicts do this, they go to Dr. after Dr. and tell them her same story and then she gets another script and she probably also uses more then one drug store so they won't stop her. Drug stores can't just fill one script after another without getting into alot of trouble so I believe she goes to alot of different ones. Also when you talked to her husband alone, find out who her Dr.'s are I'm sure there is more then one, also ask him about the drug stores they use. Try to get him to call her main Dr. and tell him what she is doing, the Dr. will not only talk to her and start helping to get her off the meds and he will also find out who the other Dr's are and the drug stores and notify them about her so they will stop seeing her and filling her scripts all except the one he uses. I know this is alot that I'm saying and I hope I have explained enough to help you help her. Another thing I want to tell you is that I have been where she is so I know what needs to be done. You can't back off and just let her keep going on this train wreck. Please help her! She will be really mad at you to begin with and she will tell you that she doesn't have a problem nor does she need your help, but she does so just stand your ground and I hope her husband is standing beside you!! Does she have any children? I would really love to keep in touch and know what happens so please let me know also if you want to ask anything of me then just send me a message and I will do what I can. Good Luck and stand firm!!

This is an easy one. First how close are you with this girl?
I would invite her out to eat or for coffee or catch her when no one is around. Flat out ask her if the drugs are making her like this but do it in a way that you tell her that you don't mean to pry but you noticed (this and when). Tell her that you can see that it is affecting her work and others work (for instance your job is affected by this) and because you care about her, you wanted to know if there was anything that you can do to help her get past this and fix the problem. It could be that she wants someone to know and she would like to have someone that cared and who offered to help her and to talk to her. If she gets really irate and mad about it, then you will have to approach it another way, like talk to your boss about it and explain that it is hurting your job and tell him what you witnessed. Hopefully it won't come to having to tell your boss. Hopefully you will be able to talk to her first and take care of it that way. I think that if you made all the concerns about her, I think that she may just be grateful that someone cared enough to talk to her.
I would try that first.
Good luck.

I have not had any experience in this type of situation and cannot give advice other than to make sure your boss is aware that you have more than pulling your own weight on projects.

If she has told her boss about a disability then by law he cannot fire her, I believe, until something comes to light than she is really abusing the drugs prescribed to her.

Best of luck.

At the risk of sounding like the after school special response...

Go to your HR manager. They have the ability to investigate without disclosing that it was you who raised the question. They will have to talk to your boss, and co-workers about her behavior and ability to complete projects or attend meetings.

The only really difficult part of the investigation is the drug screen. If they suspect her as well and screen her, the excuse that they are prescribed pain meds would be a difficult obstacle to prove she isn't taking them in accordance with her prescription.

HR can get to the bottom of if it is a medical condition or a performance issue.

Other than that, going to your boss, no matter how close, can be dangerous for you. If you wrongly accuse then it opens you up for negative opinions. The only path you have with your boss is if she is impacting the projects you are assigned to. I would handle the projects with a specific task list. Assign tasks to both you and her. If she fails to complete a task that identifies the breakdown for the boss - very clearly.

M.,
Addiction is a medical issue. It sounds like your co-worker may have an addiction to pain medication. I would reccomend alerting someone for her own well being. If you think that she will talk to you about it, maybe you should lovingly confront her, but keep in mind that addicts are often deceiving to everyone, including themselves, so don't be surprised if she denies it. She may need to hit her rock bottom to admit she has a problem, and that may require you to tell what you know.
This is a very dangerous addiction, and her life could be in danger. Please act, you may save her life.
If you try and she makes no progress though, know that you did what you could and it's up to her now. She may be reaching out for help, or she may have no desire to change. All in all, act according to your conscience. That's the best you can do.
Hope this helps,
K.

Who are you helping by keeping this to yourself and not privately discussing this with your boss?

Man, I feel for her, and for all of you who work with her, too. Sounds like she is hooked on the meds, and it is a lot more common than one would think.

If she has told you this info then she trusts and respects you. Can you talk to her and tell her that you are concerned? I know what you mean about getting in to others' business, but in this case it's not only her work performance but her safety and that of others (what if something happens while she is driving, etc.).

At at my work they have a policy that if anyone suspects another person of being under the influence (of anything) that they are to find a manager and let them know immediately. I know this isn't the case everywhere.

And normally I don't condone "snitching", but if you talk to her and she is not responsive to what you have to say, you may want to have a confidential talk with your boss and let him/her know that you have reason to suspect that she's abusing Rx meds. Again, this goes way beyond her unacceptable work performance.

M.,

I have dealt with a similiar situation before. First of all always do what is right even if it means someone getting hurt. What your co worker is doing isn't right. Sounds, to me like she is abusing prescription drugs. You can first of all start off by calling her physician and alerting them to what you witnessed on your trip. I would either A. talk to her about what is going on and let her know your there for her as a friend to try and help her with what she is going thru and beg for her to be honest about the situation, or speak to your boss about it and maybe you both together approach her about it. Maybe since you all have a great relationship ya can speak to her about it away from work. Maybe that will take some of the pressure off and she will open up. I know places of employment don't put up with this type of behavior. Maybe she will be open to some help since ya are approaching it away from work. Hope this helps.

This is not just an issue of work ethic. This is a matter of life and death. You are not unclear about whether she is abusing her medication; you saw her go through her entire medication for the trip in what, one or two days. That was not how the doctor prescribed it and she then had to make arrangements to get more. You are also seeing the effects in her slurred words and inability to keep focused and be responsible with work. It sounds very clear from what you have described that she is abusing her medications and that can be deadly. Most companies these days have options for people with addiction issues and it doesn't automatically mean she will get fired if they find out. It does mean she will be more likely to get help. The way I see it, you have several options. You can talk to her, tell her you are concerned for her wellbeing given what you have seen and you want her to get help. You can go to your supervisor and ask him to either talk to her or talk to her with you. And of course you have the option of staying silent. There are two things I will say about your options. First, I would caution you that you may be the only person that is able to help her right now. You have information others may not have and her husband may either be unaware or in denial and therefore unable to help her. Think of how you would feel if something happened to her. Also I would say that unless you are very close to her she may not be receptive to just hearing she needs help from you. It may take an "intervention" where she is told she is cared for and that those around her are concerned for her. Some may say it is not your problem but I believe that if we see someone who needs help we are obligated as fellow human beings to offer the assistance we can. If you see someone having a heart attck you call an ambulance. She is sick and needs help. She must be in terrible pain to be behaving the way she is. Particularly since she is using the type of drug you are describing is an indicator that she is hurting so severaly (physically, mentally or both) that she is risking her health and wellbeing to stop feeling that way. I would urge you to find a way get her some help whether you do it or you have someone else do it. It is the best gift you could give her, even if she doesn't know it right away. If you want more information, contact me privately and I can help with resources in your area. I am sorry you are in such an uncomfortable position. I will pray that everything works out for everyone involved.

Wow, what a tough situation & I'm sorry you're going through it! This girl probably does have some sort of medical condition that started out with the doctor perscribing pills and now that she's had to use them for so long, she has become addicted. Which is not uncommon and is a very sad situation. BUT, you really don't have any solid proof that she has a an addiction to perscription medication, so I would not take this to anyone and present it as such. I would probably go to the boss & request that you not be teamed with this person on projects because you do not work well with her. She may very well be experiencing a medical condition that makes her slur her words, fall asleep easily, and forget things. Some people, if they aren't getting relief from the medications perscribed, will double up on them to try to get relief and that is dangerous. If you feel close enough to her you could mention to her that you're concerned about her and see if she will open up any and try to broach the subject that way. I wouldn't come right out and accuse her of anything, though, because you can't present any proof...good luck with it & I hope it gets better for you!

Well, you might send an anonymous letter to your boss stating that he/she might want to consider a random drug test if you really don't want anyone to know it was you. However, I would probably just contact the boss and state your concerns and cite the incident in Fall of 06. The problem there is that the boss may question why you waited over a year to come forward with the problem. This person obviously needs help of some kind and she is not going to get it without some type of intervention. You might also contact her husband and express your concerns but if he has not already done something about it then he may be in denial.

It is your obligation to mention this issue to your boss because it affects your positon as well. If she's your friend, don't you think you owe it to her? Real friends take care of one another.

it's called intervention. She will be upset but will, eventually, thank you. Her life is going down the drain and you know why. since you do know why, you can help her.

Hi, M.,
I was just recently in the exact same situation. It turned out that she was abusing medication and was also an alcoholic and had been for years. I confronted her (it was affecting my job because of her poor performance). She was honest with me to a degree but she lied about it often. It is very obvious when they are slurring their words and unable to concentrate and disappear for hours at a time. I did not say anything to my boss until he approached me. Then I told him what I knew. He wrote her up because he smelled alcohol on her. After that she began feeling the pressure because she knew that we knew what was going on (almost daily). She came in completely messed up and ending up walking out on the job later that day. So I would advise if you are comfortable enough with her, to try to offer her some help. I wouldn't put myself in the middle of something that you cannot prove. She will eventually sink her own ship. It happens everytime.
Good luck.

Your friend is not only an addict, but likely has other problems that contribute to this one. Your boss is aware of her work issues but won't really take action. Your work has been affected...

These all add up to a problem that I couldn't ignore if I were you. Afraid of wrongly accusing someone? Think about this old Cherokee belief: if you're the one that sees a problem, that means you're the one who's supposed to take care of it.

This lady is truely addicted to the drugs. She needs help so dont keep your mouth shut. I worked with a lady that was addicted to hydrocodine and would go to different doctors, dentist and even emergeny rooms to get the drugs. She missed a lot of work and left all the time which made it hard on the other team players. Get his lady help or let someone know what you saw.

Talk to her privately first. if she is addicted to painkillers, she may not be aware of how it is affecting her work.
It would be better for her to realize that she has a problem, and seek rehab on her own volition, than to be fired or forced into it by the company. Your company's health insurance may even cover the cost.

If it continues, you really have no choice but to go to your boss. Her behavior indicates that she is either mentally ill or abusing painkillers. Either way, it affects everyone who works with her.

DO NOT tell your boss that you think she is abusing painkillers. Just tell him that your co-worker doesn't seem to be able to maintain her share of the work, and let him take it from there. You don't want to go slinging allegations that may turn out not to be true.

You've got some good advice below. Keeping out of it might protect you, but it won't help her, and in the long run, you will still suffer for her lack of work. Your coworker needs HELP. If it's not a drug addiction, then it's alcoholism or something similar. Try to bring it to light and get her the help she needs.

Hmmmm.. well, I don't think you will be doing her a favor if you don't do something. I would think that the Dr. would be monitoring her usage and most dr. will only refil narcotics a certain number of times. But there are alot of people hooked on prescription drugs. Her behavior certainly does point that direction. It seems if she really had all those issues going on and has'nt seen a Neurologist...she know the real reason. If I had all of those problems and didn't know why, I'd be running to the first appt that I could get my hands on. I think that by going to your boss with concern for her is ok, if you go stating that she's slipping and we are having to do more work....it will be as if you are mad because of the work load. If she really has medical issues or if she has drug issues. I would go into your boss with the attitude of " I am really concerned about... I know she has some medical conditions, but I am worried that if she doesn't get help soon she may have problems with the prescription medicine she has to take. I have heard of people getting hooked on medicine and I don't want her to have to struggle with that too. Leave it vague and see where the conversation leads. He probalbly will ask if you have any specific concerns and I would tell him what happened at the conference..keep it positive.
Angie

If you care for her as a person, you need to first tell her you think she's addicted to her pain meds. If it could be a safety concern with work, you also have an obligation to discss it with your boss. Be careful, she might not appreciate the "meddling".

Wow. This is a pretty difficult situation she has put you in. The first thing I would do is attempt to discuss it with her, as a friend. She has confided in you about some of her issues and may have been attempted to reach out for help. If that doesn't work, I'd mind my own business until it reaches the point of making you look really bad. Then I would quietly disclose to your boss only the information which shows that any errors or tardiness were not your fault.

Hi M.,
In the past my adult daughter abused drugs and I wish I had known sooner in order to help her sooner. Thank the Lord she is clean now but she told me if I had not done anything she would probably be dead by now.
Maybe your co-worker needs intervention in a kind, non-judgmental way.
May the Lord direct your decision.
G.

i agree with the other responces, you need to tell you boss ( in private) or even annonomiously(sp?) god forbid if she was to overdose by accident then you'd be carrying around the guilt of knowing and not saying anything. yes you may loose a friend and she may loose her job but at least she'd be alive!!

Go to your co-worker and tell them they have one week to seek professional help and tell their boss they are in a program to work on their problem or you are going to the boss. An addict will not do ANYTHING about their problem until they are forced. They have lost control. If you are aware of the problem then any boss worth their "salt" knows it, too. She could be about to lose her job right now. You have to give her the two choices - she tells or you tell.

Hey M.,

I don't know if i'm in the position to give advice; but on a professional level: I would address your concerns and reach out to your co-worker first. If she is resistant, I would let her know that you plan to go to your boss if her performance and personal issues continue to affect you. That way when you do take it to your boss you've done no wrong. Please speak with your co-worker and truly reach out; imply that you sense a problem and advise her to seek help. Give her a timeline ex: " I will give you a few weeks to get this under control and then I will speak to our boss"....

If she is affecting your performance/pay/commission then you have every right to address the issue. out of respect and out of true concern...go to her FIRST. best of luck M.!

controlled substances can be phoned into a pharmacy as long as it is in a certain class. Most narcotics are, the really strong ones you have to have written. Any kind of ADHD medication has to be written. You maybe need to talk to her first ,tell her you think she may have an addiction and you are willing to help her get help. I would not out her to the boss, unless she is at risk for hurting herself or others, doing that may cause her to feel embarrased and alone. I would try and be her friend, maybe talk to her husband and voice your concern to him. If that don't work maybe try getting your boss to pair you with someone on projects.