D.K.
I used to work in a children's bookstore and there is a book I BELIEVE is called THERE'S A MONSTER UNDER MY BED. Moms say it REALLY HELPS!
My son has recently started telling me he is scared of the monsters. He won't even sleep in his room by himself unless someone is with him until he falls asleep. My husband and I have both tried to tell him there is no such thing as monsters. We have tried telling him that daddy will beat up the monster. And I have tried giving him Junior from veggie tales to tell him that Junior will protect him. He will also tell me that if I scold him too loudly that the monster is coming. Nothing is working and he keeps insisting that there is a monster and will cry and throw a fit. I need help I don't know what else to do.
I used to work in a children's bookstore and there is a book I BELIEVE is called THERE'S A MONSTER UNDER MY BED. Moms say it REALLY HELPS!
Try making a monster spray. My sis in law did this with my niece and it works like a charm. She just puts a water in a spray bottle, made a label that says monster spray and every night my niece sprays it under her bed, where her monsters live. Make a big deal about it and let him spray where he thinks there might be monsters. Hope this works, and good luck.
My duaghter used to be the same way until I played along with her. I would tell her to show me where the monster is and ask him to leave. I would go as far as opening the door and telling the monster to go home. Or we would tell the monster his mommy wants him and to leave. It worked! I hope that could help.
Wow not even three and this is happening he's a bright little guy and probally keeps you very busy. my son was slightly older maybe 4, but i gave him weapons to fight the monsters and kept them in a box next to his bed, we decorated the box together with symbols that ward off monsters, and lots of super hero stickers, get him involved and see what he thinks will help keep the monsters away. there is a downfall here though becasue you have to admit that monsters are real, otherwise how do you know how to get rid of them?! now for what goes in the box, again talk to him and see what he thinks will help, we put in a flashlight, we also put one of those round battery powered lights that you just push on to turn on right there on his headboard, and we put in some monster spray in a little spray bottle, plain water might work but my son was a little to quick to pick that up so i added just a tiny bit of vinegar, it won't hurt anything in the room and it gives it that nasty smell, then we booby trapped the house and made it monster proof, since i don't normally use the carpet deoderizers that you sprinkle then vacuum up, i bought some and put it in a baggie and we did the whole house and we put a gaurd under his bed, spider man is very good at getting rid of monsters, and i put a chair in front of his closet door. it's involved but it was actually so much fun that it worked that very night and we never ahd another problem, he's now almost 9 and still has his box but there are no more monsters. good luck.
Hi J.,
From what you've said, it sounds like the monsters represent every fearful thought he has. At his age, you can't really understand WHY you're fearful so you just decide it's monsters.
First, you need to believe there IS something you can do to help him with this, but it's going to be slow going. You can help him with this and you have to truly believe this.
Three things you can do that may help. Talk to him about feelings of fear, sadness, etc. when he's feeling relaxed and safe and tell him how YOU feel sometimes and how you deal with your feelings. When he knows everyone has these feelings and that it's OK to talk about them, it may help him verbalize and get in touch with them better.
Secondly, when he starts getting upset about the "monsters" react in a quiet, reassuring, calm manner. It's natural when our children are upset to get upset also. We may react in a caring way, but it's with a touch of worry in our voice and perhaps even panic. Be as calm and quiet in your reaction to the monsters as you can.
And thirdly, children this age can frequently feel helpless as if their life is out of their control. (Because in many ways it is) Try to give him opportunities to make decisions that make him feel independent and like he has control over his life. The more he gets to feel as though he can make some of his own decisions, the more he'll feel confident and less fearful.
I used to give my daughter two or three options of outfits to pick from in the morning, put her milk in a tiny pitcher and let her pour it on her cereal, and look for opportunities to let her pick from things to do. If all the options are ones you're OK with, they can feel empowered yet you're still guiding them in the right direction.
I used to tell her stories about times I was afraid or upset when I was little and how I found a way to deal with it. I would ask her what she thought I should have done.
One more thing. You mentioned he is a handful. Does anyone discipline him with spanking or in an angry way? Children can sometimes be afraid of a parent and turn that around to something else since he needs his parents love and approval. This doesn't have to be the case, but since I don't know how he's being disciplined, I thought I should mention it. If the parent is sometimes the "monster", how can they protect him? It can take an amazingly patient parent to deal with an active little boy and you're at the most difficult age right now.
Good luck with this. I know it can make you heartsick when your little one is upset.
The suggestion I have is the book by Grover. "There is a monster at the end of this book." It puts monsters in another perspective. I loved that book as a child.
I think I read this in a Magazine..but it sounded like a good idea that might help. Without your child watching, get an empty pump spray bottle fill it with water. Label it "NO MONSTER SPRAY" and decorate it appropriately. Put it in a cardboard box and place it on your porch (as if he recieved it in the mail) with his name on the box. Let him open it. Enclose simple instructions. Before bed, have him spray under the bed.. in the closet.. at the doorway. Tell him that monsters do not like this and they will not be anywhere near it. Tell him he can spray outside if he wants to. Give him "the power" to keep the monsters away. Thank him for this task, as if he is protecting you as well. This activity and resposibility may get him to think about something else before bed...
My son went through the same thing at that age. I think their minds are just so active it's hard for them to shut them off and calm down.
We used a spray bottle of Febreeze as our special "monster spray" to keep the monsters away. I'd let him spray the bottle anywhere the monsters might be hiding (under the bed, in the closet) and it kept them away for the night.
This stage didn't last long for us, about 2-3 months. Good luck! I hope you find something that works for you.
Hello,
I did not read all the responses because of time so sorry if I repeat what anyone said. Veggie Tales also has a movie with a cool song stating " God is bigger than the boogie man, bigger than Godzilla and the monsters on T.V." It talks about fears. That might be helpful. My sister created "monster spray" for my nephews. It was a water bottle she decorated to look cheerful with bold letters that said Monster spray. She put water with a little fabreeze mixed in and would spray their rooms at night. She would get the closets and under their beds. It really helped them and got them through that stage! I hope that this will help calm your little ones fears! Best Wishes!
When my oldest daughter was little, she was very afraid of monsters too. She thought they were under the bed and in her closet. I took a spray water bottle and drew Monster Repellant on it. At night we would spray under the bed and in the closet. I even sprayed around the windows and doorway and told her this would keep any monsters out if there were any. It worked for her.
I think the important thing here is to know that it's real to him. He sounds like a really creative, imaginative boy and in his life that trait will serve him well. In the meantime, it creates a few glitches. Because it's real to him, and he is scared, nothing you say about monsters not exsisting will do any good.
I love Kari's ideas. Let him tell you what he is scared of and then make a list together of what would scare the monsters away or fight them off. Then put together his "tool kit."
The greatest weapon against fear is empowerment. Figure out what you can empower him with and then help him use it. With his creativity this should be really successful
In my opinion, you can't tell him there are no such things as monsters b/c they are very real to him and he is truly scared. I have taken my make-up brush and told my son's that I am spreading magic all over the room. That helps they also have nightlights. Now when my (3 yr old) says he is scared of something I ask him how we can make him feel more comfortable...sometimes he comes up with something, sometimes I give him suggestions. His world has many 'real' and 'invented' thoughts, teach him ways of dealing with his fears.
take a piece of construstion paper and write monster be gone or something along those line, the cover a can of air freshner, At night when you put him to bed spray under his bed, in his closet ect.... tell him no more monsters (like bug spray) not only should that help him but it also leaves his room smelling good.
At bedtime have a monster search. Look under the bed, in the closets etc.
Have you tried Monster Spray to get rid of them? It worked with my son. I would have to spray the closet, under the bed, then spin in a circle spraying the whole time. I used Febreeze but a spray bottle with water would work just as well. We also had to spray around the window.
Ahhh, monster time! my 2 1/2 year old is doing the same thing right now. we have a spray bottle filled with water and when we put him to bed we spray his room 5 times (because he knows how to count to 5) then we sing "no more monsters, no more monsters" to the tune of "are you sleeping?". then he goes to sleep no problem.
also right now he is afraid of lightning. and kept saying the lightening was getting him. i kept telling him there is no lightening tonight. so finally I laid down in his bed and looked at his window and i saw his "lightening". it was a light across the street comming in thru the crack of his shades. so i tacked a blanket over his window and now there is no "lightening" getting him.
My son, age 5, had started having nightmares about monsters and such every night. This was resulting in him crying at bedtime and eventually coming to bed with my husband and I. We had tried everything from talking to him (monters aren't real), to hanging a dream catcher on his bed. After none of these things worked my husband started having positive affermations before bed. The were very silly and loud, but they have done the trick. My husband would say them first and our son would repeat them. For example, right before bed they would start with "I AM NOT GONNA HAVE BAD DREAMS...I am not gonna have bad dreams. I AM NOT GONNA HAVE BAD DREAMS ...I am not gonna have bad dreams...I AM ONLY GONNA HAVE GOOD DREAMS...I am only gonna have good dreams" and so on. You can adjust these affermations to suit your sons specific needs. It has really allowed our son to feel as though he has the upper hand and that HE was able to fight off the dreams/monsters himself.
Hey J.! Try "monster spray" it keeps the mosters away because they don't like the smell. Kind of like bug repelant. Also known as- Lysol, or air freshener! :) This worked well with my nephews that were really scared of monsters and kept thier rooms fresh, too! My boys are occasionally scared and we just usually say a little prayer for Jesus to protect us while we sleep and sometimes that comforts them. Good luck!
NOt all fears have a logical basis. Even as adults, we have fears sometimes that aren't logical. For my children, I always let them know that monsters are afraid of loud noises. So, and this gives your child control, all they had to do was clap their hands 3 times, and yell monsters go away. I did it with them the first several times. Together we scared the monsters away. The nice thing about this is it works everywhere, and no worries about allergies or where you put the spray. Plus it empowers the child because they have made the monster go away. My son is 6, and I still occasionally hear the claps and the telling the monster to go away. It worked for at least 2 of my 4 children. (the other 2 weren't afraid of monsters.)
Hi J.,
I've got a really good tool to use for monsters under the bed, or wherever they may roam in a little one's room. Just pull out the "monster repellent" and spray the room down. Put a really good spin on the story and tell him that you found this new stuff at the store called monster repellent, and all you have to do is spray where they live. Just get a plain water bottle and decorate it up to look really cool. I know it may seem like a lot of work, but it's worth it if it helps! He may even turn it into a fun little game at night before bed time. Maybe that will help with the anxiety as well! I hope this advice helps in some way! Have a wonderful weekend.
M.
M.
Does he watch Disney Movies at all? They have one Monsters Inc, its a really good disney kids movie.. My 2 sons love it! It might put a little different perspective on monsters and make them funny and not scary. IF you haven't seen it, definately at least rent it and check it out... even my husband laughs at it too.. as far as kids movies go its pretty good!
J.,
Was he not afraid of "monsters" before or has he just become afraid of them when he learned about monsters?
Does he go to daycare? Is he around any other older children who might have scared him by pretending to be a monster and making scary faces and noises?
You can't alleviate his fears until you know what he means by "monster" and what he thinks monsters do.
At that age, 2 1/2, my grandson became hysterically afraid of shadows, and there was another mother here previously who was saying her child of that age was terrified of shadows, too. Shadows could be monsters.
After you pinpoint what his monster is and what it might do, you can better solve the problem. But remember, if it's an irrational fear, all you can do is keep reassuring him over and over until he grows out of it.
Kari's idea about giving him a box of weapons for the monster sounds like it might work!
Good luck! Keep us posted as to the outcome!
Dear J.:
My daughter is now 4 years old and when she was 3 she decided that monsters are BAD... Well, we watched MONSTERS INC. the movie. That ended that 'scare' feeling because she associated the sweet Sulley with all monsters. You want the your kids to know that monsters are pretend and that there are GOOD monsters too. THEY ARE IMAGINARY!!
My husband found a stuffed animal that was identical to one of the monsters in the movie (MIKEY) and put it in the closet permanently. She checks on him every now and then to see if he's SCARY... But just laughs and wants to watch the movie ONE MORE TIME>>> E.
Your son is very smart. He probably doesn't even know what a monster is, just that when he talks about it, he gets what he wants. Just keep putting him back to bed. Don't get upset. You must have a lot of patience. It will take an hour or more the first time and you will be wanting to give in, but after 3-4 nights, he will be going to sleep by himself.
Also, what might help is spend some time in his room with him. Play in there, read to him, talk to him.
Ignore the monster remarks, make him do as you have told him. If he does not, then punish him by standing in a corner facing the wall or put in his room for an hour.
Boy do I know how you feel!! We went through the same thing for about 6 months. I finally found a routine that helped for me. I went and bought a flashlight (I let my daughter pick it out) and bought "monster repellent". This I also let my daughter pick out. The Dollar store has wonderful things for $1 to pick from. We actually ended up picking out these round wicker balls. Every night we went through the ritual of taking the flashlight and looking behind and under EVERYTHING. We then put the "monster repellent" under the bed, in the closet, hung one from the door frame and put one under her pillow. This way she knew for herself that there are no monsters in her room and the repellent insures no monster intrusion. I know this seems like alot of work before bed time but it actually helped my daughter. I think kids need to see for themselves that things aren't there. Us telling them doesn't sink in. I hopes this helps you and the monsters eventually disappear. Good luck.
We had the same problem. Now every night part of our bed time rutine is to "spray" for monsters!!! It worked the very first time we tried. We just pretend...I hand her a spray can, we shake them up and walk around the room spraying everything, doors, under the bed, closet etc. This works great. If your little guy needs an actual object to hold get a small spray bottle. She keeps her "monster spray" next to her bed just in case! Good luck. I hope you find something that works for you.
A neat trick we used with my daughter was to buy a spray bottle and fill it with "Anti-monster spray" (water) and give it to her. She kept it by her bed and sprayed the monsters when she was scared. It helped and she outgrew the "monster" phase.
Monster Spray! I know it sounds silly but get a can of air freshener and make a cover for it that says Monster Spray. You can add pictures if you want, but the point is to tell him that this is a special spray that kills monsters. You can spray it under the bed or wherever you need to. I found that logic just didn't do the job in my child's mind but the spray was something tangible that we could use to get rid of the monsters. I am a grandmother that has reared 4 children the oldest is 28 the youngest is 19.
Monster Spray worked with my children and is now doing the job for my grandchildren to chase away those monsters!
J.,
This is what I did. I took a Lysol can and put the blue painters tape over it and wrote "Monster-B-Gone" on it and then went around my son's room and sprayed everywhere he said that there was monsters. I even let him spray some places. He wasn't completely convinced but it did calm him down enough that it was OK to be in his room by himself.
Good luck and God bless,
M.
My little boy (now almost 3) watched Monsters, Inc., and we've never had a problem with monsters, because ever since, he LOVES "monsters." Of course, we tell him it's all pretend, but he's very good at pretend and imaginary games, so he'll say "the monsters are coming!"... but that's a good thing because of the movie. :)
My strongest suggestion is to 'believe' your son. Even though you know they don't exist...your son believes they do and that's what matters. I would ask questions about what the monster looks like? what does it do? where does it live? what does it want?
Give your son CONTROL to help get rid of it. Let him be a part of resolving this. Find a magic button that takes it away...or monster-go-away juice...
Good Luck.
If he's a big fan of Veggie Tales, I would suggest Where's God when I'm scared? It's all about things that go bump in the night & Jr.Asparagus is the main character. My boys would often go to bed singing, "God is bigger than the Boogie Man!"
We also have a book called It's Scary, God. A child's book about trust. It's a very simple board book & all 3 of my older kids have loved it. http://www.amazon.com/Its-Scary-God-Childs-Window/dp/0784...
I had a friend who filled a spray bottle with water, decorate it or do whatever you want. Let your son know it's "Monster Spray" and spray his room, under the bed, closet, etc. or let him spray it. When you use water, you don't have the odor of chemical air fresheners.
This is along the idea of "spray bottles"....make a "Monster Stick". Fill a toliet paper roll with beans. Decorate. He might enjoy deocrating it (ownership) Shake the stick before bed to "scare" the monsters away. Good luck!
try the veggie tale movie regarding God protection from monsters. If he likes the veggies. I don't remember the name of the movie though. It helped my daughter with her fears. Also, try to remember that it is a phase that most children go through.
Get a spray bottle of water and label it monster spray. Every night let him sray the room down. Peace of mind.
My step mom told me about this and it worked for her kids. Get a can of air freshener and print or draw a "No Monster" or "Monster be Gone" and decorate it with appropriate pics. Then spray it before he goes to bed. What we did with my son is he had a huge stuffed dog (as wide as his bed-it was homemade) and we told him if "Fluffy" barked then there were monsters and he would chase them away. If they tried to stay he would bite them. It worked.
Good luck
SZ
My daughter was scared of tigers in her bedroom. She woudln't listen to reason about monsters, but really, how many 2 year olds do. So We did three easy things. We took her to a build your own toy place and she chose a tiger and made it roar to scare away the other tigers, You could let him make his own protector animal; Grandad came and with her standing outside the room or within listening distance, he told the Tigers to get out of her room and leave his granddaughter alone, he beat the walls for emphasis; lastly we let her watch Sesame street and showed her the monsters on there were friendly. Especially her favorite, cookie monster.
hi J., My name is Tina and I have a son that is a special needs child and I was going through the same thing you are now. He's 8 though, and he kept on telling us he sees things in his room that scared him, and it keeps moving. He would wake up 3-4x a night even would wake up his sister in the middle of the night. We talked to his neurologist and she said that is probably a stage he's going through, and she suggested to put him on this medicine you can get over the counter. Its called Melatonin. The body naturally produces this, but since your sonm is 2.5 I would ask your doctor first. Its works wonders forour son, He has not complained about anything in his room and it help promote a normal sleep pattern.
Hope this helps,
Tina
Buy a nightlight, a C-clamp (like you find in hardware stores) and an extention cord. Plug the nightlight into the extention cord, and the cord into the wall. Mount the nightlight under your child's bed using the C-clamp. (Be sure to mount the blub away from fabrics that may be flammable. You might want to consider one of the newer neon or fluorescent blubs because they don't burn hot like regular bulbs.) Explain that "monsters" are "afraid" of the light, so if the light is on, "monsters" can't come near his bed. Keep extra bulbs handy so you can change the bulb immediately when it burns out.
Worked for my nephew... worth a try...
I have a couple of suggestions. One, get the book GO AWAY, BIG GREEN MONSTER! It is a wonderful book where the child is in control of the monster, who is really silly looking. Secondly, put some music on in his room, so that he is distracted. It could be something he likes, or a lullabye. My son even likes stories recorded on CD, so after we read a book together, he listens to two or three while lying in his bed in the dark.
My son went through this briefly, and we did the music thing as well as saying a prayer at bedtime. This went well with the VeggieTales video about "God is Bigger Than the Boogeyman."
Hi J.,
I went through the same thing with my oldest son. It can be very frustrating for us, but of course the fear is very real for the kids.
I ended up making a big sign that said "No Monsters Allowed!" in big letters, and let my son help decorate it. We put it onto his bedroom door and that seemed to help alot. Another idea I have heard of is the "anti-monster spray", which is just a little water spray bottle filled with water - you tell your little one that the water is a special monster repellant and all they have to do is spray it at the monster and it will magically go away!
Good luck!
I have a question, but I don't want you to think I'm judging...Do you guys watch horror films with him around? Like the Boogyman? Candyman? The Toothfairy? Even Monster House is pretty horror like for a young one. (My 2yr old is very afraid of that movie) Those would make a kid believe there are monsters..and some people think toddlers are too young to tell the difference...but the truth is, is that if they see that the people are getting scared or hurt in a movie, than it can happen..Could someone have told him that the monsters gonna get him if he don't behave or if he don't listen?? This kind of stuff can traumatize a little one! Maybe when you scold him, your scaring him a little...do you get down to his level and explain to him the things he's done?? Because if you stand over him and yell, its called "Bullying" they look at us like monsters or mean people! I've learned that through parenting and counceling. And you know when I get on my kids' level..to explain to them (and try not to yell or scream at them)..I get more of a response and we all get a long better...things always happen for us when we do get down to their eye level and talk. I have done this for 12 1/2 years. I have a twelve, ten and 2 1/2 yr. old. And I get well respected. Good Luck and I hope there is nothing serious going on...And he will grow out of it.
Give him a flashlight when he goes to bed at night. He can make a tent in his bed and have his flashlight on. Put a nightlight in his room too. ;)
Good Luck
When my son went through this phase (although our son Charlie was specific that the monsters were ghosts)- we did several things. First we made a sign to hang on his door that said "No Ghosts Allowed!". Next- we would line up his stuffed animals around his door, next to his bed, just outside the closet- wherever he felt he needed the extra protection. I would give the animals a "pep talk" about protecting Charlie from Ghosts. Finally- we took an empty plastic spray bottle and used a permanent marker to wrtie on it "Ghost-Be-Gone Spray". Charlie would sleep with the bottle clutched tightly in his hands. Sometimes at night we would hear the squeeky sound of the bottle pump as Charlie sprayed the ghosts...Anyway, he started sleeping better and after a few months, the fears subsided. Whenever they reemerge- we get the spray bottle out.
I heard this great idea..give him a spray bottle of water with a light scent to it. (Like some cologne). Tell him it's monster spray and they hate anything that smells good. Then let him spray areas where he thinks the monster lives. In the closet, under the bed, etc. Tell him as long as his room smells good, the monster won't stay.
Hi J.,
We had similar problems with our grandkids. my daughter finnally told the kids that the Dog , Hiedi was a monster eater and as long as she was outside the door the monsters
couldn't get to them. That worked really well. You can also use a stuffed animal or something that your little one will trust. Good luck, D.
Call the monster's mommy - I'm sure its mommy misses him ;). Do this right before his bath in front of him so that the monster's mommy can pick her monster up, and it may be gone by the time you get to bed.
Or you can yell at the monster...I had to do this for two girls in my classroom when they wouldn't go to the bathroom because of the monster in one of the stalls. So I kicked open the (metal) door, yelled "monster get out", and held the door so it could leave. They thought it was hilarious and it solved the problem.
Try putting water in a squirt bottle, tell him that it's scares the monsters away or it's monster repellent and let him spray the spots where the "monsters" are hiding before you put him to bed :)