For the first time my husband has decided to use part of our Christmas break to take my oldest son camping with the boy scouts. My oldest daughter who is in the Venture Scouts (a co ed Boy Scouts of America group) is also helping with the winter camp out, but then the older kids are heading as soon as this ends to camp in tents in the winter. Cold!
We haven't said she's going yet, but I have this feeling of loss when I think of all the things we are starting to do away from the family. I think she feels it too, but we want to encourage her to try neat things, but we what to keep her close... There are so many opportunities, but we're 3 years out from finishing high school. We're feeling aware of how limited our time is together.
Not super happy that husband and son leaving 2 days after Christmas for the camp out either, but know that there has to be some time for him to spend one on one with dad.
How do you decide what activities to do and what to let go away? I'll be praying about this tonight, but any insight from your own experience would be helpful.
Include her in the decision and plan something fun and make it a priority - even if it's just once that year. Make good memories. But, you have to let go too.
The activities sound like they're beneficial; and your older fledglings should begin to try their wings a bit. Good luck!
Let them do the things they want to do away from you. I know how hard it is, but it is the natural way they learn to try out their wings. You really do want them to fly the nest eventually, and they can't do it in one big leap. They have to have time to try out the things they've learned from you on the outside. Especially home schooled kids need time away from home learning how to get along with people outside their family. You're doing a great job as a mom/teacher, but you must let them stretch and grow away from you.
Hi L.
you are so lucky and blessed to be able to home school your children. I applaud anyone these days to can accept that challenge........from reading your message I assume you are a devout christian woman in a great christian family- so I would suggest when making these decisions you have a little family get together and discuss the pros and cons of each event as they occur- let the children (teens) kinda make their own decision after hearing all your objections and appraisals......If you are raising them to listen to their hearts (which I am sure you are) then you have to trust them to make the right decision. It is difficult but that is what we did with ours- some made bad decisions and others grew from the good decisions they made- it is a really good training time for them to be able to make some decisions on their own before leaving home for college or the outside world of business........ just remember that when they make a certain decision which is against your better judgement- they have to learn from their mistakes- and let them know you will always be there to pick up the pieces........I know they will be fine
good luck and blessings
Count your blessings that your husband is a good father. Trust me not all men spend time with their kids and the kids pay for it. I only wish my husband would spend time with our daughter.
What your feeling is very normal. You want your family together as much as possible because "soon" they will be gone. You still have plenty of time and activities to do things as a family group, but one of the most important things your older children need to do is to learn to be independent..
You have taught them to read, write, and behave in proper ways, but they really need to time to practice all of this on their own. It is difficult to set them free, but that was the whole point to all of your hard work.
Do not deprive them of these opportunities, instead encourage them and bless them with your support. They will appreciate it and make you proud.
Try to plan your own activities around theirs. Inculde them in the plans. I have a friend that allowed her high school aged children to plan, budget and make the reservations (with the parents approval) for family vacations. They said they had some really amazing experiences.
I am sending you strength.
I'm a few years away from having a teen, but to me it sounds like you have been consistently spending good time together as a family. I would say just use the vacation time you do have together to celebrate.
In high school and college there are more opportunities to be independant. Sports and academic competitions, band or choir trips, and volunteer activities. Some kids in high school have jobs, others party. I don't remember having much spare time in high school- I was always studying and had evening classes. It prepared me for college when I had to make my own decisions about balancing my time. Having a supportive family and church kept me from getting caught up in the binge drinking culture that can interfere with success in college.
Your older children are getting to the age that they will be going on trips without their parents or siblings, or with just one parent and/or sibling. This is just a fact of life and, I feel, a necessary part of every child's growing up to become an independent person.
When I was a young child, I would go on weekend retreats with our church group. I went to a week long gymnastics camp summer between 4th and 5th grade. In 7th and 8th grade I went on snow skiing trips with my church youth group. 7th grade year was the week after Christmas, and we were gone through New Year's Eve. In high school I would go at least once a year on a church youth group trip and/or a high school band trip.
My advice to you would be to let them go. What better way for them to get accustomed to the world independently while away with a scout troupe or church group. They will have good supervision while away. Consider yourself lucky that you have been able to spend all of this extra time with your children as a home schooler. Many parents don't have that option. Because of this, you have been able to have more family time than most families.
