Mixed Feeligns

Seems like the only people I've known who thought they were horrible......didn't have any children.
I say if you need one, what's the harm? I never needed one but I never had one of those kids that would just run the minute they hit the ground. My mom made a harness and bought a dog leash (yes, a real one - they didn't make leashes in those days) for my youngest brother when we went to the Grand Canyon as kids. It's probably a good thing she wasn't too concerned about ethics or I'd have one less brother :)

I use the monkey backpack one - Eddie Bauer from Target. Love it! I use it when we are at the airport, aquarium, zoo, other crowded places. I always get positive comments about it. Frankly I don't give a hoot anyone who doesn't like it b/c it's none of their business and it's keeping my son SAFE!

I used to think, "I'd NEVER use one of those!" Fast forward to reality and I think they're great, not all that unattractive, the shoulder strap and waistband adjust so he can't get out, and when I don't feel like using it he's strapped in his stroller.

I don't consider them mean...he tried to run into the parking lot at Starbuck's last week and I would rather have someone or even a lot of someones think I'm mean than to have to plan a funeral.

I used to think they were awful, I mean leashes were for pets not our children, right? Well then reality slapped me in the face because I was blessed with my Alex, and without one of those handy momma's helpers any outing for a while there would have been a nightmare. Alex would not for the longest time respond to his name or stop if he was told to stop, he was fearless and fast, and even though he is small for his age it gets heavy trying to carry a toddler especially a wiggly one. We used ours at the air port and in parking lots, in stores I refrain from using it, we stick to a stroller or cart.
I know that a lot of parents with special needs consider them to be a blessing, we sure did, did not change ignorant people from giving me dirty looks when I use it, but they are more than welcome to try and wrangle my angel for a day and then they can get back to me on what kind of a monster I am for daring to put a leash on my child ; )

"Doesn't look pretty"? It would look like a gift from God vs your child being hit by a car or pulled out of the bottom of a swimming pool.

If you can keep an eye on your children 100% of the time, not a problem. If your child/children happen to be "bolters", better a leash then an injured child or worse.

Blessings..

If your toddler is an escape artist, or it's in a busy crowded place, I think it's wonderful. I would rather get dirty looks from my toddler wearing a harness than to have a kidnapped or lost child.

Also, if you have more than one child, or one child is autistic and doesn't respond to instructions, or are pregnant and can't run it's a God send. My boys take off running in opposite directions, they can escape the stroller in 10 seconds flat. So, which do I choose to run after... or what if I'm pregnant or injured and can't run? The harness helps.

Did you see the attempted kidnapping video several months ago on a street in New York (I think it was there)? A man grabbed the child WHILE he was holding his nanny's hand. It happens.

You don't have to use it, unless you need to.

When my son was 2, I had to use one. He was a runner. He was so fast and I could not keep up with him.
Sure, you tell them to hold hands, stay by you and all those techniques.
But a 2 year old has NO fully developed impulse-control and they are very unpredictable.

I used a toddler harness, a monkey, with my son at venues that was crowded etc.
He loved it. He had no problem with it.
I got MANY compliments on it.... one Grandpa told me "GOOD for you..." in keeping my son safe. His grandson, right on their street, took off and got run over by a car, and died.

For my son, I did not have to use it for a long time. His running off was a phase. But for safety, I used one.
It is about, safety. Bottom-line.

The other bottom-line is: you use it IF you need to, per your child.

I have a friend, that had her son, while at the Mall... just take off. You get no warning about it. The child just takes off running. Fast. She could not find him. It turned out he was being quiet and 'hiding' and going from place to place and thought it was funny. Sure, she got the Mall Security Guard and all that.
She cried her eyes out.

Not all kids need a harness. Some do.
Some toddlers will NOT have the impulse control, to just STAY still as a statue or hold your hand or listen to you like a robot.

They do not really make them for looks but to keep kids safe/alive .I watch my friends toddler during the week and every time I take them outside she thinks it's funny to run full speed to the road,it's scary.....I totally need one.

Yeah, you will hate them. UNLESS you have a kid like mine, who ran off (is thankfully almost through that lovely phase) at the drop of a hat. I seriously could not take my eyes of her for a second, and it didn't matter how I disciplined her, she had no impulse control.
I used to wonder how people could just stand there and talk to a friend, and their toddler would just stand there clutching on their leg, or just stand there, I really used to be amazed at that. If I seriously allowed my eyes are hand to wander from my daughter she would run, and fast, and far. Horrible, horrible stage.
So hail yes I used a leash, and hail no, it is not cruel or mean to keep your child near you. What a stupid thing to say!
for me the strap them in a stroller for hours didn't work either, she could wiggle her way down through a five point harness and be out, or she would just wail and wiggle and struggle for the whole time. Basically I didn't take her far from home for about a year! My friend went for highlights, and her daughter sat in her stroller for 2 hours, I was like, WHAT?! how do you get your kids to do that?
I just have that kind of kid...I have been tired for about 8 years now!

We had the back pack one that looks like an animal that we used for our son occasionally at that age. He is very active and he would dash ahead. when we were at a crowded place like the zoo, it really did help keep him within reasonable distance. Say what you want, but until you have a toddler like that, you really don't understand the need.

We had one for our now 3.5 year old. It somehow has managed to get lost in the past few months. Now that it is Summer again I will be buying a new one.

For us it is a safety issue, our son is a "runner".

I never had to use one, but for those that do needem, that's why they were invented. Your childs safety is way more important than what people might "think".

I don't do anything to my children that I wouldn't want done to me. I know that I would be humiliated beyond belief to be tied to a leash, so I will never dehumanize my children like that. There are so many more humane ways to keep them safe.

For the people who say, "Safety at any cost" I say tying your children to a pole would keep them safe too. Would you do that? Why not? Where do you draw the line?

Put yourself in your child's shoes. It's not a pretty thought. I'm glad my parents loved me enough to watch me properly instead of tying me to something.

They absolutely have their uses! Used them with my 2 boys and we will have to use one for my daughter coming up soon. My parents used one for myself and my brother as well.
My parents traveled internationally with me a lot before I turned 4. It was a must while in airports around the globe carrying luggage, trying to get to where they needed to be.
We go to places like the San Diego Comic Book Convention and while we do have a stroller, kids do not want to sit for hours on end and shouldn't. But it's easy to loose an adult that's standing right next to you, imagine a little one in that crowd when people aren't looking for them, they're looking at all the stuff the vendors have. We use them during the busiest times at Disneyland, again, the crowds can be insane and it's easy to loose someone in a second.
All 3 of my kids are good at holding hands etc but all it takes it one moment when you have to look away to take care of the other when they need something.
Making them sit in a stroller for hours on end is just plain cruel and makes for a miserable time when they want to walk around and stretch their legs.
We have cute ones that have stuffed animals as backpacks.
My kids never complained and I feel better knowing they are safe. I do not let it replace holding hands. They still have to hold hands or the stroller or whatever. But sometimes you need that one second of both hands.
You love your dog enough to put them on a leash but you don't love your child enough to do the same? When they are really little they are learning and don't grasp the dangers. My daughter ALWAYS holds hands and scolds us when we walk in the "street" on Main Street at Disneyland and drags us to the sidewalk but yet a couple days ago she bolted out into the parking lot of the post office because she and her brothers were playing and she got carried away. We might be bringing out the harness soon and putting it to use if she starts getting bolder!

My son was also a "runner" and loved his harness. My daughter stuck by me at all times so did not use one.

Dont worry about what other people think. Do what you feel is safe for your child. Those who dislike harnesses probably have children like my daughter. Those who understand have "runners" like my son.

We bought one and loved having it especially when our son refused to be in his stroller @ Disney World @ 2 years old!!!! I wish they would make the leash part so that you could extend it and withdrawl it like regular pet ones do! ;)

Wow. Wasn't gonna respond but a few of the comments?! Well I have to.

Those against them must have perfect little robot children who like sitting in strollers? Or are used to being ignored and therefore the kid is fine sitting in a stroller for a long period of time? Is that how it works?

My 1st HATED the stroller. But she loved her monkey backpack. She has long outgrown it but she loved it so much I am pretty sure she would still put it on. She didn't wear it too often but when she had to it was a Godsend.

And I didn't know that kidnappers, pedophiles, and murderers returned little children w/ name tags and phone numbers. For real? I can't believe that was even suggested. :(

Is your husbands solution a stroller? I don't think the harness was the problem in his situation, do you?
Give your boy some freedom, w/ a monkey harness, or dog...or bear. Lol. He will probably be really excited about it if the alternative is a stroller. ;)
Saves you on loads of whining too!

Sorry, I did read your "what happened" but that was before I read the name tag comment that blew my mind.
All I can say is that in a zoo/theme park scenario they are very handy! So I would keep it just for those situations if he is good in a stroller elsewhere.

I was against them too, thought they were cruel...and then...I had my youngest. I got a monkey leash from Target. It's cute and I keep track of my son on his "wild" days. I literally cannot control this child sometimes. My son knows how to wiggle out of my hand when I hold his and he knows how to get out of his stroller even when he's buckled in. So, the leash is a safe bet-so far until he figures out how to break free!

Hello, I used to hate to see those things. However, when I was raising our four kids, I had one who had the habit of running away every time I turned my head. I tried putting bells on her shoes and she just laughed as she ran. At least I could hear where she was and knew which way to go after her. Anyway, I bought one of the leashes (they didn't have cute animals back then). I put it on her and let the kids play with her at home. She LOVED it. Well, the next time we went shopping, I put it on her and wrapped it around the seat she was sitting in. Back then the two seated strollers didn't have seat belts in the back seat and she would escape from it. Well, the first time I turned my head, she started screaming. I turned around, smiled and said, "And, that's what that is for." Problem solved. Many years later, I was babysitting three of my grandsons. This same daughter's younger son was not yet two years old. He also had a habit of running away, if he could. I held his hand wherever we went. One day, I was picking his brother and cousin up from school and held his hand out to the street to our car. I opened the door to where his carseat was and let go to uncover the seat (I cover them to keep the sun from heating up the seatbelt). As I let go, he ran around the car and was heading for the street. As I rounded the corner of the car I reached forward and bopped him in the front of his head to knock him towards me. This stopped him. I was terrified. There was a huge truck with very big tires right there and the driver would never have seen him. When I told his mother that afternoon, I also told her that I wanted to buy a leash. She agreed and after that he went in it when we were near cars. A few teenagers chuckled about it one day, but I just told them that I would rather that than to worry about him running into the street. Eventually, I was able to explain that he would need to stay with me and I would leave it off. He never ran away again. I never needed to use one on any of my other children or grandchildren. However, I have a 2 1/2 year old granddaughter who is possibly going to need it.
Also, I really don't understand how your husband's experience has made him hate the leash. It wasn't the leashe's fault. :-)
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.

I don't think it's mean. I think forcing a little child to hold your hand (for long periods of time, obviously short hand holding is fine!) so they can't explore their world around them is mean. The backpack thing with the tether (not sure what it's called either) lets them stay close to you and still explore as they walk along. I'd imagine they've updated the latch on it so that it's more escape proof. I certainly don't think it's something you use so you can ignore your child. I see it as a way to be able to walk along and let your child explore the world while keeping them safely close to you.

Also, if you have several little ones, I think it's a good way to keep a hold on all of them when in a busy place. I have a few little ones, and the idea of being in a busy place (airport, amusement park, store, etc) and trying to keep track of all of them when they are at the age of getting easily distracted, I can see how those little backpacks come in handy. I think it's a safety issue in those cases. One could always keep their children in strollers, but I think that's meaner to do for long periods than allow the child to walk around on a safety tether thing (which we do the strollers...we've yet to use the harness thing, but I think after a long period of time, it's considerate to let the kidlets walk around).

I've never used one, but if I were to go to a public place with lots of people, and if I wanted to let my kids explore the world while doing so, I would very muchly consider using them. I think they are super cute (I've seen a wide variety of them from my friends using them, and some are cute, and others literally look like a harness for a dog! I like the little monkey backpack kind. My sister had one of those.). I really believe it can be a safety issue! Much safer to have the child attached to you with a tether than free to roam. Or if you have your children hold the stroller, if you have more than one, it can be difficult to put your focus much of anywhere else if you are worried they might let go and wonder off.

I know your hubby escaped from one, but it's much easier to escape when there is nothing preventing you from going.

as it is, we use a double stroller and a single stroller and have one walk. We might need to get another double stroller when baby #5 arrives! But I never think poorly of anyone that I see who uses them. Honestly, it kind of irritates me when people think they are mean or treating their child like an animal or something when they use those tethers. Do you strap your child into a car seat? Do they wear helmets when they ride their bikes? To me, it can be seen as a similar thing - I'm thinking in busy, crowded areas. If it's not busy, and if there's very little worry the child will get lost in a crowd, I think it's not nearly as useful or needed. But in a crowded place, it's a way to keep your kid safe from getting lost. And yet, I still haven't used one! :-) I just think they are a good idea for certain circumstances.

Leashes are for dogs, not children

I can see how you might have mixed feelings about this. I think I did have one when my daughter was a toddler. I only remember using it once at the mall when we were just going for a walk there (not really shopping). I have back issues and I just couldn't run after her. I wasn't sure if she'd run off or not so I put it on and she was happy to walk along with it. I realized quickly that she really never ran off and I don't think I ever used it again. My nightmare would be a child running off and maybe falling down the escalator (hate those things). My mother saw a child fall out of a stroller on one once (that's why you don't use strollers on them) - and it really scared her. If you have an unpredictable child, by all means - don't worry about what anyone else "thinks" - do what's best and safest for your child.

I don't like them for myself with my kids, but they sell stuffed animal backpacks with the leash attached that kids actually like. I've seen this a lot at our zoo where they sell them and the kids ask for them! My oldest begged for one when he was smaller and my mom was alive and I got one for her and my dad to use. They loved taking him places, but they were arthritic with bad knees. I knew if he took off they couldn't really chase him. Yes, they used a stroller, but not all day! If you're older or have health issues and are taking a small child out and about, those backpack styles aren't bad. I would probably have used it myself if I had multiples are a lot of small children. It made outings much more enjoyable for my parents.

I'm one of those people that swore up and down I would never get one for my kids when they were little. I have never needed one for my older daughter. She was always wiling ti ride calmly in the stroller without a care in the world. My younger daughter is a whole other ball game. She rarely sits still even trapped in a stroller and she is constantly on the move outside of the stroller so we got one to try out. We only use it when we go places she would want to frequently climb out of the stroller for example the zoo. Really once we put it on her she thought it was funny. The one we have is shaped like a monkey and the "leash" part is the monkey's tail. She loved that Mommy was hanging on to her tail. She tends to stick with us in crowded places and most of the time she is in the stroller but I like that she can have a little freedom outside of the stroller without getting swallowed up in a crowd

If used only to keep a child from running off, I think it's a safety device and a fine idea. There will, of course, be people who assume you're handling your child like a dog and cast you the evil eye. But that definition is in their own heads, and you can't do much about that.

If used to yank on a child and haul him around, I think it can be seriously demeaning and abusive. But even dogs shouldn't be handled like that.

lol... yea before i had kids i was pretty against using them too... BUT, my last one could climb out of ANYTHING... the belts in the store carts, the high chair, stroller, he'd even wiggle around enough to get his arms free out of his 5 pt car seat belt. And with two older kids, he didn't always want to hold hands and loved to run! And wow, could that child run.

It wasn't until I bought him one (he was about 18months) of the cute ones that kinda looked like a puppy and had a tiny zipper pocket that he could wear like a backpack that I really felt safe with him. AND he loved wearing it so he never once tried to wiggle out of it. I didn't see it so much as being mean then! Since he wore it all the time, I didn't always have to attach the leash part, but it was nice to know that when I did... I could tell when he was going too far.

I initially HATED the idea of the harness. However, I have a "runner" and he's FAST!!!! So, I went and purchased a cute, soft, monkey harness . I have used it when I am out in places that he wants to run around in, but it's too dangerous to let him roam free. He doesn't particularly like it, but he's gotten used to it over time and it really cuts down the amount of anxiety I feel when he tries to run off. And he is not able to get out of it. It fastens in the back. :)
Also, I take the leash off when I am at home and let him love his monkey like a stuffed animal. Now when I see him in it, it's as though he's wearing his "little friend".
Mine also has a pocket in it, so I put things in it so it looks more like a little back pack. It's actually quite helpful.

I hate them. I have 3 young children and I will NEVER leash them. If other people want to, more power to them...but I won't.

blahhh...I don't like them at all! While I think we do many things to enable our children and make things easier for us, this one takes the cake. I think the leash is just enabling your child to run ahead of you and have distance from you. It is easier than trying to teach your child the rules and easier than trying to watch them at every second. Not a fan!

What's the difference between being 5 point strapped in a stroller so they can't get loose and harness?

With a stroller they have to stay sitting, with a harness they can walk/run/play actively.

I don't like them. I am all for putting toddlers in a ergo backpack or a stroller or our daughter's favorite is riding on daddy's shoulders. They just seem silly to me - like dog leashes.

When I was single, w/o kids, I used to think they were awful. Just barbaric. "How could a person 'leash' a child?"

Well, after having a kid and seeing my friends kids - I can COMPLETELY understand why parents do it. Toddlers will dart across the street, run into a crowd and simply wander off. Luckily my son never did this, but two of my friends kids did! They bolted off like wild animals and it was scary!! So onto the leash they went!!!

Anyhow - there are some really cute, back pack looking leashes. It's now called a "CHILD HARNESS". They run about $11 and you can get some really cute one from Amazon and Target. The "backpacks" come in monkeys, bears, and pink dogs. They're not so threatening, not so leash like, more "humane", and plush, so they don't look like a leash.

Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/Eddie-Bauer-Harness-Buddy-Monkey/dp...
Click through the photos to see what it looks like on a kid.

If your toddler is a runner then don't hesitate to get a CHILD HARNESS. It's a safety issue. Don't feel bad for using it. You're not a bad mommy, you're simply keeping your kid safe :)

Happy Summer! :)

I just saw your answer. Looks like you got a bad backpack. Sorry about your scare w/it. I'd return it and get a new one to try out - especially if you're kid is a runner. If he's not then you won't need it.

I don't think it has anything to do w/ parenting, some kids are just runners and won't listen. And the harness really helps out. But again, do what you feel comfortable with. :)

You know, as moms we all do what we can to keep our kids safe. So those of you who use the leash, I'm not in your shoes and I don't know your individual children. For my kids, hell no we did not use a leash. My son hated the stroller before he turned two and he was a runner as well. Just meant I had to work harder to control him. My oldest was old enough and well behaved enough for me to give him my attention. If she hadn't been, who knows? I might be on the other side of the fence right now :)

I see leashes as okay in very specific situations. The airport, heck, almost ANYTHING you do to keep your kids safe and happy and quiet is good. Airports don't really count IMHO. Maybe they fly as sort of a 'training aid' to teach the child -temporarily- to be more mindful of their caregivers. I don't like them as the solution to flighty behavior.

As I've said, we are all doing the darn best we can. Better to see a mom being TOO safe than not enough.

My parents watch my little one often and feel nervous about going on a walk with her. But, she loves to walk the dog with them. So we reached a compromise. We got my daughter a cute purple backpack that has a "leash" at toys r us. She loves it! Its purple and its a backpack like Dora has. There is room for a water bottle and pockets to put all the little treasures she finds on the walk. My parents, love it because its a leash and she cannot run too far away from them too fast.

I too was very much against putting a "leash" on my toddler. But, this one i found is not so bad. Plus, you can take the "leash" off and she has an adorable little backpack.

I kind of feel similar. The parent has a certain responsibility to make sure their child is safe by teaching them. I think in rare circumstances when a child just bolts and takes off they can be useful to a parent so they have a minute to catch up. But I think too many parents use them to babysit their kids (even though they are right next to them) and remove responsibility of the parent. I did see a kid on one at disneyland and the mom was yanking on the leash and dragging the kid around. SO NOT RIGHT. I snapped at her and said the kid was not a dog. She was stunned. Put her kid in the stroller. So in some circumstances (depending on the child) it may be the only option. But just to use it because it is available... no way.

When I would see kids on "leashes" prior to having my own children, I thought that they should just learn to watch their kid. Then I was blessed with two very rambunctious, high energy twin boys. We have the leashed backpacks and have used them on occasion. My boys are now 2.5 and will not always walk nicely or stay with us. They are starting to get too big for their stroller, so we don't have much time left using it, and they still will dart away from me in the store if walking. Since there are two of them the same age, the leases can help us keep them safe.

Well, your kid can either be semi-free, walking, able to explore, but still be controlled in a harness, or completely locked down, with zero freedom, immobile & strapped down in a stroller. I find it funny that people still think the harness is worse.

In any event, a contained child is a safe child, and a safe child is not a kidnapped, lost, hurt, or dead child.

I seriously HATE those things. I think they are horrible. I could never put my kids on a leash. My 6 year old walks with me when we go places. My 3 year old either sits in the stroller, helps me push the stroller or holds my hand. If he does run off, then he has to sit in the stroller

buy a stroller......LOL

I used a clever invention that might be a good "compromise" between the "leash thing" and nothing at all. (I bought it in Italy but maybe its available in the US as well) It actually consists of 2 velcro straps attached together by (what looks like) a thick plastic "telephone cord". The idea is that you strap one end to your wrist and the other to your child's wrist. In my case it was an absolute necessity because my son absolutely refused to hold my hand and wouldn't sit in a stroller from age 2. Also, I know, that old "leash-type things" were not as safe as they are now. I used one with my daughter that had straps over the shoulder and clipped in her back. The front was made of strong material. She LOVED her "indipendence" and I loved her not running away from me! She NEVER "escaped" and also when she did not want to wear it, she held my hand because those were the only options I gave her! ("If you let go of my hand, I'll put the straps on because I love you and don't want to lose you") Again, there's no right or wrong here, do what you feel works best for you and your family. Best wishes! :)

In some situations it really helps to keep a young child safe. My son walked at 10 months and didn't like the stroller. He knocked the shopping cart over with himself in it trying to get out (before he was 18 months old). He didn't like the leash but for the period between 1 and 2.5 it was a lifesaver. I used the fact he didn't like the leash to teach him to stay with me ("hold my hand or we will use the leash"). By 3 he was much better and the leash was mostly retired. With my second one I only used the leash maybe 5 times so far and she is already 2.5. It depends on the child you have...but I am happy to have it tucked in the diaper bag if I need it.

I am adamantly against those leash things. They disturb me to the core. If you are taking your child to a busy public place put a name badge on him with your cell number. Then proceed to teach him to stay with you for safety. Strollers are also good for keeping them put if your attention can't fully be on him.

I think they are fine. I am so worried about someone kidnapping my child. If I can keep them close with the "leash" so be it. I would have a better chance of holding on to him than someone running by a snatching him. I know this happens. My husband is a cop and has dealt with many of these situations. Who cares what someone else thinks. More than likely they don't have children!

LOVE IT!

I don't go anywhere without it. It's not mean as long as you don't pull on your kid. For us, my little monkey started walking at 8 months old, WAY too young to understand "staying close" or "watching for cars", etc. Then we got pregnant...when the aforementioned monkey was 8 months old...as in, just starting walking. I think it's crueler to keep her confined to a stroller when she wants to literally stretch her legs than using a child harness. We take almost daily walks all over our neighborhood with her on it and we are one very happy family.

Caveat: the harness is NOT a pass on responsible parenting. I'm sure your MIL wasn't being a flake, but I still keep my kiddo close AND constantly in my sight. She's almost 2 now and we've never had a problem, not even close to one, in fact. My baby knows how far she can walk with the harness, and I'm inclined to think she's MORE confident with that little bit of freedom, but still knowing Mommy's right there. Oh, and she is learning street safety too since we hold her hand, even w/ the harness on, to cross streets and intersections.

Ours is a Monkey that "hugs" the baby with his arms, and clips in front. The monkey has a little pocket on his back and we use it as her bag when we go out. I say, if you trust the device, as in, skip the $10 safety first cheapo one at Babies R Us, there's no reason not to try it out in a place you're comfortable with (we did Ikea!) to see how your baby does.

"Leashes are for dogs, not children" that's funny.
Don't people love their dogs too? Don't they treat them as part of the family? It's OK to put man's best friend on a leash, but oh the shame if you treat your child the same?
just saying...

Anyway... to answer your post (even though you have made your decision that works for you - good for you!) I LOVE our monkey backpack and my 3 year old does too. she asks to wear it at the zoo. This way she can walk by herself ("I want to be independent, Mommy"), and know mommy or daddy are near her. she even gets to decide who holds her tail.

I would return that sucker that unsnapped without even the slightest tug. sounds like a defect. I would also make sure to hold hands near anyplace that has moving vehicles, and not rely only on a "leash."

I don't like them. Leashes are for animals.
If his mom had been holding his hand, or had him strapped in a stroller, he wouldn't have gotten away.
With that being said, I had one, and I used it once at the airport when we were traveling internationally - just for my own peace of mind - because the airport is so busy and there's just so many places to go if your child gets away or someone snatches your child.

We had something called a "Hand-to-hand" when my brother was little (almost 20 years ago.) I liked it because it was a little something extra tethering you to each other if his hand slipped out of yours. I don't think any of these tether/leash systems, should be used instead of some sort of physical contact. My son is almost four and Autistic and while I haven't yet gotten a tether system for us, I always make sure he is holding my hand or holding onto the hem of my shirt while I pay or something like that.

Depending on his age, I'd say before going out each time, even if it is to the grocery store to quickly pick up 1 or 2 items or going out for dinner, sit him down and talk to him as adult-like as possible. Children are exceptionally intelligent if you keep the same pattern. Let them know where you are going and what you are going to do with what expectations you had with them. Gently remind them when they get overly loud or try to wiggle away. It has helped me with my son because he loves going out, but he knows he has to behave and remember to stay close to me, otherwise he may not get to go out a next time.

i really don't get how hubby's not working and him having that bad experience translates into him hating them and not wanting it even in his sight. look bottom line, your boy loves the stroller, he holds hands, you don't need it. if a kid is an absolute terror and refuses to behave and stay with you, makes a game out of constantly running away and disciplining/teaching him better "does not work" (of which i am always pretty skeptical- when mine tried that, he learned very quickly that acting like that turns mommy's hand into glue, and if he KEPT fighting then the fun was OVER) then maybe you might need it. otherwise it's just another cheat to not have to keep as close an eye on your kid. as your mil found out. my opinion, it allowed her a fals sense of security, and bottom line, she wasn't watching her child. my lesson from that would be don't rely on it. use your parenting skills and the eyes and ears god gave us for that purpose. i would chuck it, it definitely sounds like your kid has no need.

I've seen parents/ people use this & see where this comes in handy. I have a 13 month old daughter who has been walking at 11 months & having to follow her here and there & EVERYWHERE :)
This would not work for me. Although I would love to have her by my side letting her walk & learn to listen works for me. Doing this keeps me on my toes..
She also has a chance to show me things like a kitty walking across the road or the bird in the sky. It's amazing how little things fascinate our little ones.. gives us another chance to re-explore the world around us.

Thanks 4 letting me babble

You know I never used one, but my kids were very well behaved and always stayed close by. My mom used to make commets back in the day like it was like walking a dog until my youngesr brother pulled away from her at the commisary and a car missed hitting him by inches, From that day on m,y mom used one and did not care about the looks she got or the comm,ets she heard cause she knew my brother was safe. J.

My mom used it with my little brother - then a toddler - back in the 60's when we were traveling across the country to live in CA for a year. That way my brother could have a little freedom to run at say, Yellowstone park, but we didn't have to worry a obut losing him or having him crawl over a railing.

We used it in Wash DC one Spring when my son was not quite 3. He seemed to have a sense of security knowing that there was some control - but he could run a few feet ahead of us across the Mall, or up the stairs of the Lincoln monument. We didn't use it for the shopping mall, grocery store or every day shopping, etc - only when traveling and far from home - and only at that age when he needed to be physically reigned in and we also needed to keep an eye on his 6 yr old sister, and look at maps, and handle money, etc. He co uld run when he watned and when tired he'd fall into his stroller. By the end of the 3 days in Wash DC he figured out where the velcro attachments were, and could escape - it was worthless at that point - but for those three days it was invaluable - and we have no regrets. and we still ahve him safe and sound 9 years later. ;o)

I have two, one of the backpack types and one of the types that velcros to the wrist. We have never used the wrist one, but the back pack was invaluable when my daughter first learned to motor around on her feet. She never walked, went straight to running. My friend also had a strappy velcro one for her kids that I used to swing them around... it never broke... Another friend has a very mobile 2 yo who will not stay next to her. You work as hard as you can with the kids, but sometimes they just run! and if you are someplace that a stroller doesn't really work it can add to peace of mind.
It doesn't mean you don't hold hands, it is just a secondary for if/when they bolt. My daughter at 4, still loves her doggie and loves that she can strap me to her, so I can't get away! I think she is a little old to wear it, but I leave it up to her. It is her choice.
Anyway, Good luck!
R.

I have used one and when I see people using them I give them words of encouragement! My little girl loved to play hiding and chasing games, which are not appropriate when traveling (heavily laden) alone with a 4 yr old and a precocious toddler! That girl was strapped to me the entire 6000 miles of travel! She was small and wiley ( the baby, that is!) and she would just run away. Yes, I have used it. You just have to be careful not to yank on it like you would a dog leash!!

We use a pack pack with a :tail:.
Dora the explorer always has a back pack.
Also most Zoo stores sell animal pack packs with tails.