I feel like my husband hates me lately. I'm getting so sick of it. I don't know what his problem is. I can't remember doing anything particular to him to make him angry. Thank goodness he's not physically abusive, but sheesh! He always has an attitude! It makes it hard to go on each day knowing the face I have to see on him... Oh, and when I ask him he claims nothing's wrong... What do I do?
Thank you to everyone for their responses. The thing with us is that we don't have insurance so we can't see doctors. We're barely scraping by. We have 4 kids on his $10.00/hr income and I know it's wearing on me to constantly be just barely making it, not even getting allot of the things we need... Counseling would be great, but he's a proud (closet) sexist Mexican through and through and doesn't believe that HE needs it... At least he acknowledges some ppl do, like me. I was so upset when I posted this yesterday. I was to the end of my rope. I exploded at him a short time later and told him all the stuff I felt (incl what I had been holding back other times bc I was afraid it'd hurt him)... I then ignored him the rest of the night, got the kids ready for bed myself and went to bed w/o telling him gnight. Then when I came home from the gym this morn as he was getting ready to head out to work he appeared to be his old self, gave me extra kisses etc. I guess only time will tell. In his defense, he's never been one of those gushy type of guys. He's oh too masculine for that. lol Never really talks about feelings or nothing. I know I love him and I'll b by his side no matter what. I might just have to get in his face sometimes to snap him awake. lol He has opened his mind allot since we got together and so maybe someday when we're doing better financially etc we can focs more on him bc I know he has to have some kind of depression. But it's not as bad as mine so I have to continue getting myself together now so I can b here for everyone else later. It's harder than it sounds to put myself first. Such is the life of a mommy. lol Thank u guys again, and sorry for any typos in here. Have a great weekend! :)
You and he need some counselling to learn how to communicate more effectively with one another.
Sometimes marriage enrichment programs help with the situation you describe.
Good luck.
Hey there...
I'm a little in the same boat as you I suppose. I played a practical ( or so I had thought) joke on my man. I pretended that I had to work overtime and would be late coming home. In reality, I was 2 mins away from home. He actually hung up on me and we didn't talk to each other for 4 days. MAJOR attitude coming from him and its definitely not like him at all to be this way. He just turned 30 yrs old and just started a new job in welding fresh out of school. Finally, after 4 days, I couldn't take it anymore so I decided to wear my heart on my sleeve and let him know exactly how I was feeling. He then and only then explained to me that he was very stressed about starting a new job fresh out of school and that my joke kind of threw him overboard. He apologized profusely though for acting like a jerk and even being selfish. All this to say, I really think that you should tell him exactly everything that you feel inside, maybe he's going through some tough times himself and is too proud to show that he's really stressed out. Also.. as mentionned, my man just turned 30 and is just finishing school.. his teacher is 31 and is very well accomplished, Can u see how that would play on his pride and ego as well. So maybe your man is going through something similar but hellll does it take a lot to get them to open up sometimes.
Hope this helps you out some and good luck :D
Dia
Hi J.-
My husband would get just angry at me because I was there, and it was hurtful, but I realized he was depressed! After a lot of work, I was finally able to get him into the doctor and he was treated. That saved our marriage.
Depressed people do not like admitting they're depressed or going to the doctor for help, so I suggest you keep nugging, (not bugging) him.
Good Luck.
R. Magby
Men have been trained to behave as if nothing is wrong.Problem is they are supposed to say nothing is wrong but they didn't get the training down perfect. My oh my that certainly makes our lives difficult. My husband was recently promoted and he turned a complete bleepXXXX. I tried to go on like normal while he was tired and nasty and cranky. Eventually I let him be and while it wasn't easy I started to just do other things not involving him til he came round. Marriage is supposed to be for life and sometimes this happens. We need to take care of ourselves. I am sure he loves you, but he might have other stressors, or maybe his body is a little out of whack for lack of sleep or aches and pains. If it continues urge him to go to a doctor. Maybe he himself feels unattractive for some reason. If he continues to act like this and says nothing is wrong then look him in the eye and tell him
CUT IT OUT SWEETHEART.
I echo the depressed sentiment. My hubby has been very moody for the past 6 weeks or so. We had our kids away for the night recently, and had some adult time and really talked. He even admitted that he might have been a little depressed lately. It can manifest in physical ways as well, not just attitude and mood.
First of all, believe him when he tells you that you haven't done anything wrong. The anger or bad attitude could be reflective of something that he's going through, personally or at work and there's nothing you can do for him or that he wants to share with you at this time. Just be as supportive as possible. Make sure that any potential irritants at home are gone.... I don't know what they could be, but you know what his 'hot buttons' are or things that would cause him worry. Bugging him about his 'face' doesn't help. He could be depressed, and that may require some intervention by his doctor. It's hard for a man to admit that they have a problem, but see if you can convince him to get a physical, calling the doctor's office in advance to let them know of his 'attitude and interaction' at home.
This is a recent problem, so a trip to the doctor is not out of line. Remember this is about him, not you. Treat him as though this attitude was caused by a physical aliment and care for him. You married him for better or worse, sickness and in health... so do your best to help him through his day and this will help you through yours.
Here's to happier days for both of you!
He is probably going through a rough time at work.
This may not be received well, but I want to encourage you to honor and respect your husband in a way that he can see it clearly. Tell him how blessed you are that he is such a hard worker, that he provides for you, that he gets up and goes to work everyday so that you can have a home and food. Tell him how much you are thankful for him. I bet you will see a change in his responses to you. It is not always easy to do this, but this sort of thing is like oxygen to men. They need to know that they are respected by their wives. Many men get the respect at work, but come home to a wife who has no clue how important this is. Why would they want to come home (I'm talking generalities here, not about you specifically)? Feed this need of his. Most men will start cherishing, protecting, loving their wives like they have never done before.
He might want to try some vitamin D. With all of the rain we have had the dark days and lack of sunlight might be affecting his mood. Also, a little exercise or walking after dinner with his family might add a little mood booster, too.
Good luck to you, I know how you feel....
does he do drugs or drink? my ex did me the same way and was using drugs.
Mom,
He may be suffering from slight depression or mid-life crisis. Is he in his 40's. I think that you both would benefit from marital counseling asap if he will go and he may need a good physical too.Encourge him to go see his family Dr and set a couseling appt asap. If he refuses to go with you, go on you own, See if hw will talk to your pastor if you go to church. If you have children this is especially critical, its very hard on them to see their parents not getting along,they are very intuitive, Hang in their Mom and good luck.
