You have way more to deal with than I ever did, but our daughter is NOT a morning person. She does not like to be asked questions, to have to make decisions.. Hmmm, wonder where she got this from?..
So we talk about what she wanted for breakfast, the night before or when I was going to the grocery store. She lets me know what she wanted for her lunches.
She decided on what she was going to wear the night before.
She showered the night before.
We have a shelf where our shoes go so we always know where they are.
We had a bench by the front door and all backpacks, handbags, school projects.. needed to be by the door. I also signed all papers, placed a forms with money in envelopes (I use the envelopes from advertisements, bills that I pay online etc..)the night before.
She also knew I was not going to run up to school and take her stuff up to her. I always kept money on a lunch card up at school, for just in case. She took her lunch 99% of the time from k - 12th..
She had her own alarm and it had snooze buttons, but she is a deep sleeper, so sometimes, I would go in and ask if she wanted me to give her 5 more minutes..