Licence to Pee...seeking Advice for Potty Training Challenge

Take a break from potty training. If she is willing to go encourage it, but don't try to push it. My daughter communicates very well and at times poops and pees on the potty, but is not consistent. She will be 3 in July.

I'm wondering if it is about privacy and independence. My son wanted to do his business on his own. He would not let me into the bathroom when he needed to poop. I agreed that was ok, but he needed to call me to help him wipe. So, I have a couple of questions about how your potty is set up. Do you have one where she can put her feet on the floor or on a step to push to poop. People don't think about the dynamics, and it's hard to poop if your feet are swinging in the air. Or do you have a seat that you position on the regular potty where you have to help her on. Even if you know it is stable up there, if her feet don't touch the floor or a step, it may not feel stable to her. When my son wanted to exert his independence about this, he would only use the bathroom where we had the potty seat with the step attached to it.(http://tinyurl.com/pottyseatwithstep) He would then go in on his own, set up the seat, and do his business on his own. If you decided to try this seat, make sure you have a rubber backed rug in front of the toilet so that the seat won't slip as your daughter is climbing on it. Good luck!

I agree with the time thing. We realized that our dd was going about 5:30-6:30 every evening, so we started sitting her on the potty at 6 every night. It took about 6 months, but now she goes on her own. We also give her 1-2 M&M's if she poops on the potty.

I think you just have to wait this one out. My daughter did exactly the same thing, and when she turned 3, it magically stopped. She probably just isn't 100% there yet.

I tried potty training a couple times with my daughter, starting around age 2. She's now closer to 3, and it's working much better now--I started it again about a month ago. Everyone around us was far more concerned that she wasn't potty trained than I was. Her teachers at school took the pressure off and convinced me that it really was ok to wait until closer to 3!It only took a couple "wet" accidents before those stopped this time around, HOWEVER, I still put her in a diaper for naps and night time, so that's when she poops. The one time she pooped in her underwear she was so disgusted that it made her gag, hilarious. There's a bracelet that matches a necklace she has--it's waiting for her when she decides she's ready to poop in the potty. Anyway, maybe you're expecting too much for the moment--I have heard that you can be frustrated for months when they're not ready, or you can wait until they're ready and everyone's happy. Good luck!

Have you tried the potty song (www.pottysong.com)? It uses a song that has her name in it to encourage her to use the potty. I know it sounds like a joke, but it really works. We've potty trained four with it. You can here a sample on the home page. Best wishes.

My daughteer did the same. trick is to have her want to do it as much as you want it. I began having her help clean up the mess. put her in tub with panties & have her clean them & then herself. I made this uncomfortable by using slightly cold water & explained warm water was for bath times only. I then found her currency, this is the one thing your daughter really likes, and explain that you do not want to clean poopy pants anymore and if she chooses to go in her pants rather than the potty, then you will choose not to give her her currency. My daughter's currency was chocolate milk. I allowed her one small glass a day. She tested me for 4 days & we have never had another "accident" since. During the day she would ask for her chocolate milk & I would ask did you go poo poo in the potty? She would say no & I would answer, well let me know when you do and I'll fix you a nice cold chocolatey glass. she would pout a little, but she got it. I never got angry or ugly about it, just matter of fact. Now how that currency not worked, I had plans to up the ante every week. I would never take away time with you or hteir night time comfy item. Those are too sacred to mess with. I don't know why she was being so stubborn about the poop, but I knew she understood & I knew she had the skills to do it, but she just wasn't making the choice to do it. I still remember that 4th day. She came and asked for milk & I asked her if she went poopy on the potty? She got this big ole grin & screamed I did, I did come see!! I went & sure enough. She got her big ole glass with a crazy straw & I'm sure that glass of milk tasted so much sweeter cuz she earned it. Best of luck.

Most times at this age you can kind of predict what time of the day children are going to have bowel movements. One suggestion I have is when you see her going to hide, redirect her and put her on the potty. Sit on the floor in the bathroom if you have to and read her a story. Try not to make it a big deal, more of a positive experience. Also, are you reacting to her having accidents. If so then I wouldn't. She could be looking for the reaction she is getting. When she soils herself, just change her, and DO NOT say a word to her. Maybe if she sees she is not getting a reaction she will stop the behavior. I am sure she knows what she needs to do she just doesn't want to. One thing you do not want to do is turn this into a power struggle, because trust me most times you will loose. One thing we cannot control in our children is what goes in and what comes out. Try your best to not make this an issue, or show your frustration (as hard as this can be). Also, get rid of the pull-ups they are confusing and just like wearing a diaper. Get cotton training underwear, they are thick and very absorbent so that will help with the mess. To me pull-ups are very confusing to a child, especially when they are busy playing. Good luck!!