Need Help Getting Daughter to Poop in the Potty

My daughter's issue was that she was scared AND she didn't want her poo to go away. Out of desperation one day, she and I had a "conversation" about where the poo goes. We talked about how much she likes the playground. Then, I told her that there is a "poo poo playground" and the only way her poo can go there to play with its poo friends is for her to push and then to flush the potty. It sounds totally crazy, I know, and I can't tell this story to other parents with a straight face, but she loves it! Plus, she will poo in any place... One of my mom friends thought this was the craziest idea... then, one day, she was also desperate with her son, so she tried it. She said it worked well with him, too.

I haven't read this in a book, and who knows what an expert would say, but it worked for me.

Good luck!

I too remember the STRUGGLE right before my daughter turned 3. Pooping in the potty was terrifying for her...she would sit on the potty screaming, "I'm scared! I'm scared!" Here is some advice for maintaining the relationship with your child (because in the end he/she will be potty trained but what will your child ultimately believe about you in response to how you have handled the trials/challenges of raising him/her):

1) You and your child are the BEST judge on when is the time
2) As a parent, don't let expectations for when developmental milestones shoud happen (often dictated by books, well-meaning friends and family) cause frustration and disappointment for you and your child - remember, children are continously evaluating you on whether you truly accept them or not! They don't care what Aunt so-so or their best bud's Mom thinks (although you might) - they care what you think!
3) Put yourself in your child's mind - you been doing this potty business forever...for the first two to three years you have been telling them to stay out of the potty - now you want them to sit on it....very confusing!
4) Children learn through play - they deal with everything through play - make potty training playful. When I felt like I had hit that "wall" in potty training (no pooping in the potty) - I went looking for a game / some kind of play. I found "Sneaky Poo!" Poo-poo is sneaky...because sometimes it feels like he is coming out...but then he sneaks away or, sometime he sneaks up on us and just sneaks out. So "Sneaky Poo" gave my child and I a dialogue of how to talk about bowel movements and what was naturally occuring in her body. When she felt "Sneaky Poo" we would go to the potty and with smiles and giggles we would say, "Let's get that sneaky poo!" She loved it!!! Now, she was in control and it was no longer some strange uncontrollable thing happen to her. In addition, we went to the dollar store and she picked out 10 sneaky poo prizes - everytime she got sneaky poo in the toilet - she picked one of her prizes. She had it down by about prize 6 and most importantly...I was trustworthy and safe to her! That is so important!

Good luck...this to shall pass! (Couldn't help the pun!)

Happy Thanksgiving!
K.

I took away the pull ups except for naps and night time sleeping. I've been watching my 3 1/2 year old like a hawk. I ask him every day where he will poop which he answers the potty. My son is stubborn and no amount of "currency" would help. Be sure that you don't tell them "Don't you want to be a big boy/girl?" They don't care, and it's kinda scary. If you want to know the truth, it's a power struggle between you and your child. Once you get rid of the "comfort" of pull ups, the potty or underwear is the only option. He doesn't want to poop on spiderman or diego!
Good LUCK!

Good morning, S.,
I had the same problem with my youngest daughter. Since she wanted to go to school like her older siblings, I told her they wouldn't take her at school unless she could potty (which is true). It didn't take very long for her to make up her mind to do it. Hope this helps. I agree that enlisting the help of your older daughter to reinforce this is a good idea.
Good luck.
B. G. (mother of 8, grandmother of 4)

This exact topic was on Dr. Phil yesterday! Maybe you can check out his website. Basically, he said that once you "find her currency" she will go. Find out what she values above all else and offer that once she poops. He also said to rule out medical reasons first. Good luck! My little one is 11 months so I am not there quite yet. Hope it works!

First... good luck. we just started potty training with my 2 year old boy this week. ARGH!!! What about your 8 year old? How in to privacy is she? You may not be a part of it, but the big sister could be the perfect motivation -- if she will let her little sis in the bathroom with her of course. Im sure your 3 year old REALLY looks up to her big sis and wants to be just like her!

I went through this with my older daughter. She would use the potty all day except when she needed to poop. She would lay on the floor and cry and BEG for a pull up. I didn't push it. I would talk to her about it but for some reason she wasn't ready for that step. I've seen so many kids who hold their stools and it becomes a life long problem. I didn't want to take a chance on causing a problem so I gave her the pull up ONLY when she begged for one. She would go immediately, we would clean her up and go right back to panties. We only did this for a month maybe. The first time she used the potty it was over. I'm in the processes of potty training my youngest now. We praise praise praise a potty success but I don't scold accidents. It's not worth the damage that could be done. She will go when she's ready, and probably as soon as you aren't worried about it anymore! Good luck!

My son was the same way. It is a control thing. The suggestion that worked for him was to allow him a pull-up, but have him sit on the potty to go. The first time he stood next to the potty, then he sat on the potty with the pull-up on, then I cut a hole out of the pull-up while he sat on the potty and then finally nothing:) It took about 2 weeks, but then we were done. Until then, we tried EVERYTHING. Good luck!!!

I give my daughter a small lollipop whenever she poops. Sometime I can tell that she's holding it in and I'll ask her if she has to go potty and she always says no. Then I tell her that she will get a lollipop if she goes. That always solves the problem. I know this is bribery but I got tired of the power struggle.

My son (2.5) has the same problem. My doctor said to take it in stages. 1) Have them poop (in her diaper) in the bathroom. 2) Have her sit (with diaper on) in the bathroom and poop. 3) Have her sit (with diaper on) on the potty and poop. 4) Go in the potty

We tried this with my son and it did help, and he did succeed in going in the potty ... but, the experience freaked him out and he refused for 2 months afterwards. Then, he suddenly decided he wanted to try again and he succeeded twice .... then he got spooked again. He wears underwear during the day and a diaper while sleeping, so right now he's holding it until nap time.

So ... all I can say is good luck! I'll be reading the responses too!

I took my daughter shopping and let her pick out the prettiest panties she could find. We talked about not pooping in her pretty panties. She did poop in them once and we changed to W. training pants. (It helps if you have a girly girl) Let her know that if she doesn't poop in her pretty panties she can keep them on all day. It worked for me. I hope it does for you.
I have a friend who tried this and her daughter choose black lace.....so make sure you don't go by the ladies dept. The upside of this is she did not poop in her black lace panties but couldn't wear dresses for a while. Imagine the comments if other moms saw this two year old in black lace panties.

We had the same issue with our son at that age (he is now 6) and our pediatrician recommended that we follow his lead and not force it.

What finally worked: we told him Santa didn't want him to poop in a diaper anymore. We set it up several weeks before Christmas, talking about it. Come Christmas Day, he was convinced and we never looked back!

It was a bit sneeky, but desperate times call for desperate measures!

C.
Mom to 2, 6 and 4

We've had the same thing. My pediatrician recommended Miralax to so that she can't hold the poop for very long. 1 tsp a day in her juice. It's tasteless and odorless.

She still kicks and screams as it's coming out, but it makes her go every other day or so. Lately I've been sitting her on the potty and walking out of the room so that she doesn't have an audience to watch her scream. This has shortened the poop drama dramatically!

Hi S., you didn't say whether you're using pullups or underwear... so my suggestion assumes she's wearing underwear. Of course there is no silver bullet but this worked for my niece. She was not allowed to have the girly undies, just plain W., until she started going in the potty. I also think (my opinion lol!) she should be in panties only. It just can't be comfortable to poo in her underwear(!) whereas she might be used to going in her diaper/pullup. Best of luck to you - these are trying times!

-Quick edit; I have a four-year-old daughter. We put her in underwear for a weekend and it was accidents galore! So we put her back in pullups full time. She realized quickly how much more comfortable the undies are and magically started using the potty. We were lucky. :)

K. H.

My daughter's issue was she didn't want to sit there and try... she doesn't have a lot of patience, but she does love TV. So I put the potty seat in front of the TV when she told me she had to go and let her watch TV until she pooped. She did that twice - and then moved to the real potty and has been potty trained ever since.

Good luck.

Oh - also bribed her with candy ; )