Let's Be HONEST and Say What Makes Us Want to Reject Other Moms(no Attacks)

I avoid Moms on extreme ends of the mom-spectrum: those that are completely uninvolved with their kids or helicopter moms. Out!

Any mom who talks about another mom behind her back. Out!

Any mom that drinks too much or uses drugs. Out!

Is this being judgmental on my part? Maybe, but I'm being honest.

I have no problem with thinner moms, more beautiful moms, richer moms, poorer moms, educated moms, uneducated moms, working moms, SAHMs, etc.....it's mainly those 3 things listed above that make me want to avoid them (and barf!).

Hi C.
When I was younger I was nice to everyone and very tolerant.
Now I am still nice lol but choosey who I let into my inner cycle.
I have no time for needy,dependent women who have no minds of their own or who try to steal everyones energy around them
B.

I find most moms to be boring quite frankly. People need to lighten up already and have a little fun! Many moms I know take themselves way too seriously.

I also like to associate with women that are connected to the world-who read a paper, know whats going on politically and culturally, can laugh at Snookie on one hand and discuss the upcoming election on the other. I don't find this too often unfortunately. I don't go out of my way for people who aren't like this. I am nice to everyone and have a ton of acquaintances but not many good friends.

My goodness C., based on your past few posts, I'd highly recommend counseling, for you AND your daughter.

No attack here, just concern. You seem a little fixated.

Happy thoughts!

I can not tolerate moms that do not discipline their kids. Moms that let their kids run wild, act wild, show disrespect. My gosh, speak up, be a mom, not a friend. I had a invited some moms to my house & one mom let her toddler snatch toys from all the kids, then this child started to go up stairs and the mom didn't say anything, I had to stop him. Then this tiny terror started opening and closing the media cabinet doors. Again - nothing from the mom. Needless to say, I never had her or her kid over again and I avoided them like the plague. So hard to teach your toddler to be kind, to share, to respect when you have a other people allowing there kids to behave like animals. I wanted to B-slap the mom and strangle the kid!!! Discipline your kids people!!! These kids grow up with out boundaries and become rude, selfish people!!

What is the purpose of your question? Do you want validation for your reasons for not getting to know another mom? Whatever your reasons you do have the right to choose who you allow to become friends and who you don't. I suggest that you'll be happier if you judge less and just say to yourself that you don't want to get to know her better. There are so many moms in your world that you don't have time to get to know them all anyway.

About the mom with the bully for a kid. What is our reason for going to church? Seems like the mom with the bully needs the love and support of fellow church goers just as much if not more than the mom with well behaved kids. Remember that kids are born with their own temperaments and in some cases disabilities. Stop blaming the parents, exclusively. IF the parent needs help, judgment is counter productive.

What are your reasons for going to church? If it's purely for social interaction then the bully and his mother won't fit. You can still just ignore them. You don't need an excuse to not befriend them.

Yes, I also get drained listening to vents, even when they're legitimate. It's my job to limit my exposure so that I can stay healthy in the way I think and live. You can choose to not listen.

It's good to not trust a back stabber. But you don't have to be unhappy with them. Again, avoid them.

And the secret to not letting other women upset you when they're flirtatious with your man, is to work on your communication with your man so that you can trust him.

How you react to anyone is your choice. Choose happiness by accepting people as they are without the need to judge before you choose friends. You do not have to be everyone's friend. Choose wisely in a calm way without feeling the need to justify your choices.

I thought Branson, MO was voted best place to stay. lol. Look, it seems as if someone hurt you badly! Maybe get to know yourself and what you really like before you look for friends. Remember you have to show yourself friendly before you can become a friend.

Good Luck

Usually I try to get to know a person a little before I decide if I want to pursue a real friendship with them. I'm friendly with most moms I know, why wouldn't I be? and they with me.

Of course, we're all human and aren't going to like everyone - just like we can't expect everyone to like us! I do think that you should be cordial to people you see regularly, though.

I've never been outgoing, so to speak. Hate small talk chit chat blah blah nonsense. (But once in a friendship, I'm tons of fun! lol) So that would prevent me from engaging with another mom - my lack of social butterflying skills.

Holier-than-thou, super-est of the super moms, who do EVERYTHING right make me want to pull out my own fingernails. (Yes, I get it, it's my problem, but I'm just being honest here.)

I know there are more, but I have to think... LOL
(And it's not as much about 'rejecting' other moms, as these are reasons I may not 'engage' with another mom. Symantics, yes to a degree, but different, I believe.)

Drama always makes me avoid, judgmental comments, different views on raising kids, totally different lifestyles.

Updated - and the holy rollers!! If they can't speak a sentence without a biblical reference, I am out of there.

liars

homewreckers

two faced

DRAMA QUEENS

Honestly..., I have never felt like wanting to reject other moms, probably I have always met nice people.....and meeting nice people MOSTLY DEPEND on our attitude towards life and people . The reality is that there are nice and not so nice or educated people everywhere and most of the time we attract the kind of people we, ourselves, are. We are not perfect...nobody is.....
It feels so nice being genuinely nice and kind, smile in spite of life problems and busy life. Being genuine, sincere and kind may help us to attract nice people or those moms we would like to hang up with or just have a nice talk with.
Have a beautiful day!

I honestly don't mind most people. We are all a bit nuts and annoying,it's what makes us human.

What I do mind are judgmental people and people who are uptight and reserved.

man, some people just cannot admit that they have any flaws or judgements!

having said that,
I hate liars, and usually I've been friends with someone for a little while before I realize they are liars.

I HATE drama. At least purposefully created drama.

I hate when "church goers" push their church and religion on my non church going self.

I hate when people of a different political belief than myself try and convince me that I am wrong.

I hate when parents discipline their children like they are a small dog afraid of loud noises.

know it all parents--with really bratty kids!!

Wives who think their marriage is perfect and remind the rest of us terribly unhappy people(sarcasm) about it every chance they get!

We all judge. we try not to, but we do it anyway. and sometimes it's nice to be honest about it!

hm
i stay away from boring moms. moms that have nothing to say except what they made for dinner.
i stay away from moms who say 'my kid never does this/that'
i stay away from moms who carry a one-sided conversation.
but, honestly, i don't do well with boring moms. that it.

Very little would make me reject someone with out really getting to know them first. I can think of only one time I rejected someone without knowing them first, and that was because she was having a sexual relationship with a married man, and that to me shows bad morals, and is not a woman I would want around my family.

The mom in our neighborhood that had a birthday party for her 3 year old daughter and decided to invite all the other 3 year olds in our neighborhood expect for mine...allegedly because of who she thought we were friends with Which we weren't, but even if we weren't, why should she care? And why have that be your reason to exclude our daughter? Really - if you are going to be that snobby and rude, and treat my daughter that way, I don't need to be friends with you.

Afraid of them rejecting me or my kids...easier to not pursue a friendship than to put forth the effort and not have anything come from it. Have had too many temporary friends In my life already.

Making friends as a Mom is much harder than when I wasn't a parent. BP(before parenting) I was friends with those that had similar interests & good conversation. Now I am friends with those whose children I can tolerate & that have similar parenting skills. I have also realized that my friends now, I am not as close to because we are so distracted by children or husbands. I don't think that I will have the close friendships that I used to have until my daughter is grown or close to it, when there aren't as many distractions.

On a different note, I am now reading a book called Safe People. It's by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. Great book so far, it really helps you to figure out if someone is safe to be in a relationship with. It also helps you to realize when you, yourself aren't being safe.

I wish you the best in the friendship department.

God Bless!

When I was younger and raising my kids I could not tolerate moms that had kids that they couldnt or wouldnt control. Mine knew what "NO" meant and what "sit still now" meant and what "be quiet until Mommy finishes talking to so and so" meant.
If she couldnt control her kids and had to keep interrupting our conversation to yell at them, I didnt hang with her long.