Just whining for a minute. I don't remember my first two pregnancies being quite this miserable. I'm due in 3 weeks now (my second was already here by this point--3 weeks and 1 day early) and my MIL has pointed out that unlike the last two times, I'm working full time and keeping up with a 4 year old and 2 year old when I'm home, but still... I don't remember this much discomfort, pelvic pressure, lower abdominal cramping, fatigue, or general lunacy. I have to keep apologizing to my 4-year-old for biting his head off over the incessant "but why...?"s. Tonight my husband even asked me if I wanted to plan to leave work early. I left work a week before my due date with my first because I was working in child care, so exhausted, and it was my finals' week in graduate school, so I needed the time to finish papers. My second was early, so I didn't get to the point of even thinking about it. I feel really guilty even wondering if I should leave work early since it seems pretty wimpy, and the baby could come late (AHHHH!!). I'm also the "wage earner" while my husband "earns" the health insurance, so leaving work without enough paid time to cover it and before disability starts seems like a really dumb move. On the other hand, I did tell my manager that I plan to work as long as I can function and do my job well. Client calls are getting hard since I keep running out of breath (and today our office was over 80 degrees--not fun!).
Just bitching and wondering what other moms ended up doing. I'm having a healthy pregnancy, it is just physically uncomfortable to do anything, almost impossible to sleep more than an hour or two at a time, and that is making it worse. If I leave early my husband will see if his manager can get him some extra shifts to help out, but I'm going to push it as long as I can. Urg... Just tired tonight I guess. :)
Well I'm home tomorrow. NOT fun while pregnant, but apparently I have a nasty stomach flu. Just trying to keep it to myself and see if I can get a short nap in on the couch. I would love to be able to keep down some water. :( On the other hand, it makes me feel like I was being legitimately whiney.
And just in case we weren't having fun, let's add fever to the list.
I love being a mother and love my children. I h-a-t-e-d being pregnant. Especially towards the end. I *get* wanting to hold that baby in your arms and not your uterus.
But. You've gotten through the past months and you'll get through the next few days. It's not long now.
Congratulations in advance. Your sweet little one will be here soon!
I've only had 1 child and she's now 19 months... I had an easy pregnancy, with hardly any discomfort (besides the usual)... I knew that I wasn't going to ever be pregnant again (my hubby doesn't want more kids), so if I found myself getting uncomfortable or ready to be done with pregnancy ( which I never got to that point), I would remember the trace Atkins lyrics: "you're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back... You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast. These are some good times, so take a good look around. You may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this..." I use this as well when my daughter won't go to sleep or I find myself getting frustrated... Hope that helps a little!!! And if u haven't heard that song, listen to it... (trace atkins, you're gonna miss this) =)
Hang in there mama! I feel your pain. When pregnant with my twins (who, by the way combined for 16 lbs!!!), I kept pushing myself for very similar reasons. I, too, am the wage earner only I can't collect disability when on leave. I was trying to make it one week prior to my scheduled c-section, and it was getting harder by the day. I remember being in tears just walking to my car after a long day of teaching. I managed to make it two weeks before my babies were born before my doctor finally told me to stay home. I was a little relieved. You have to do what's right for you. If you feel like you need to keep working, just take it one day at a time (don't look at weeks...it will seem like forever!). If the stress of working is too much, start your leave now. Only you can decide what's right for you and your family.
Honestly, we do tend to forget the misery that pregnancy, labor and delivery can bring----- Thats why we can have more than ONE child :)
The last month is always difficult even with an easy pregnancy.
When you are just too plain uncomfortable to work and do your job efficiently it's time to bail...
After your little virus is over you'll be able to decide.
Right now just stay in bed and go over the plan and perfect it in your mind, then implement.
I'm not almost done... actually just finished the 1st trimester.
I too, feel this pregnancy is very different than my first. I was much more exhausted, easily winded during heavy cleaning, have a bit less patience with my family, and am working a full time standing/walking job while being the main caregiver for my 5 y/o and all her activities.
I cannot even imagine how I will feel in 5 months... I've also had a really bad flu like cold - and I rarely get sick. BLAH - just gotta keep my eye on the prize! I've wanted another baby for at least 4 years now!
I think you need to relax and take some time out for mama....there is a chance your baby might not come until you relax a bit. Now, I am NOT saying to take early leave because we both know that even 3rd babies can be late (I am currently 27 weeks with my 3rd) and I refuse to waste my leave either! But maybe a little pregnancy yoga, stretching, a prenatal massage, a pedicure or something else with a little time and pampering to yourself. My kiddos will be almost 4 and 2.5 when this one is born so I totally know where you are coming from with being moody and your other kiddos driving you nuts....I have had to apologize to my 3 year old and husband for being mean and moody more than once already and I am sure it will just get worse as the weeks go by :) Just take a deep breath and keep in mind, it is almost over. Maybe write a journal to yourself now too -- unless you are set on having more kiddos (I would love 4 or 5), it might keep you from having any others too- ha!
I saw your update that you have the flu - good forced relaxation time. Keep that fever down though with Tylenol as your baby can't sweat and will be over-heated in there! if you can't swallow the pills figure out what dosage to take in the children's version I am sure you have for your kiddos! Best wishes and get well soon!
OMG!!! I am SOOOOO there!
Our third is due any day (I pray). My children are 3.5 YO and 15 months. I work in NJ and NJDOL pays pregnancy disability benifits starting 4 weeks in advance of the EDD. I left at 38 weeks. Baby has yet to show up...
If you can get the time off, do it. It helps a lot. I've been cranky, but I am coping better being at home. I am also able to do some of the nesting things I have been worrying about - extra freezer meals, cakes and cookies for the big siblings, scrub my bedroom (where the baby will sleep the first 6 weeks), etc.
Good luck and chin up. Hopefully we will both be holding our little bundles sooner than later.
~C.
Dear M., I am so sorry to read about your discomfort and mood during the last weeks of your pregnancy. Some loving questions:
1. Are you taking care of yourself -- manicures? pedicures? a massage 9by someone trained in doing pregnant women? If you are working so hard at your day job and then as a mommy, please don't forget to take care of you!
2. bubble baths?
3. Overall, I think you need to take some time for yourself before the next baby. Can you go for coffee with a friend or shopping? I write this as I have a friend who was happy to have a 3rd child, but got PPD only after the 3rd...the doctor said that she needed to do more for herself. That a happy mommy is a better mommy.
so....please please, don't only be sick to give yourself an excuse to rest. Rest, eat well, pamper yourself now and after you give birth.
4. By the way, can you already plan now for help after the birth....friends to put food in the freezer, or good take out menus. An in home manicure or pedicure...A maid once a week or every 2 weeks for heavy cleaning....
(If you have already 2 kids, you can ask your friends not to bring gifts for the baby, but to purchase the maid time or the food!)
Good Luck, Jilly
I feel your pain. I've only had 2 children but the last month of each pregnancy was absolutely miserable. I remember walking around every day for the last 4 weeks saying "I CANNOT do this another DAY!" Ugh. There really isn't much you can do to get any relief except for rest whenever you can. Do you have any friends that can lend a hand with the other kids while you catch some extra rest? I learned to lean on a lot of friends during that time for help with my son.....
Good luck, hang in there.
Lynsey
