Kid Free Vacations Realistic?

I HONESTLY do not want to go on a vacation without my child. She goes to daycare and I get to spend little enough time with her as it is, so I cherish every minute. I had to leave her for a 2 day business trip last year (she was 3) and missed her terribly, NO FUN AT ALL.
So yes, I have given up the (for me totally boring) idea of kid free vacations and embrace family getaways.
Good luck.

I'm 47 with an 8 yo and I need a nap! LOL Yeah...right....like that's going to happen!

Anyhoo--sounds like you are not comfortable with the options you have, so you'll most likely have to cancel. Stinks. :(

IMO it's not realistic at all. Tell BFF "Happy Birithday, I'm sorry I won't be able to go away with you".

I think if you are going to go through all the hassle of getting three kids cared for you should do a romantic vacation with your husband. We do at least a weekend, sometimes a week, every year and it is great for our marriage, which is also great for our family. I save my favors for this kind of stuff. While it might be fun to run amok in Vegas with husband, and friends, if it's your only opportunity to go without kids, opt for a vacation of your choice, and not someone's Vegas birthday party. Perhaps you should go for a two night thing, and leave husband with the kids.

What about having them split up the time? Have your parents do two days and MIL two days. Ask. It's worth it. They may surprise you and be thrilled at the opportunity for the one-on-one time with the kids, especially if you give them plenty of notice.

And I had to laugh that your MIL is 45! I'm 41 and manage my two young kids just fine. Trust me, she's not THAT old. She can do it.

We've gone on several vacations without our kids and have the in-laws split up the week. It seems to work well and everyone has such a great time in the end.

Never hurts to ask. They might surprise you -- it's early enough that they could take off work if they wanted to stay at your house for a mini-vacation with the kids. I know my parents would LOVE to do something like that.

And -- yeah -- 45 is not old!!!

I don't think you have to give up the idea, but you do give up the idea of doing vacations on a single person's terms. You can still have the kid free vacation if you really want it, with proper planning.

I like the ideas suggesting that since she is YOUR BFF, that you should get to go & he should stay home with the kids. Of course I realize that a lot of married people aren't fans of solo Vegas trips, which is understandable.

I like CA's suggestion,splitting it between parents.. You could also ask another parent to take and pick up your daughter while they pick up their own child/children.. Give them a gift card to a nice eatery as a thank you.

Remember your parents and MIL all raised kids, they can handle it for a few days..

Maybe you could go on your own.. Your husband could stay home and take care of the kids.. You do it all of the time.. he can too..

I think that is an awesome idea. I bet you and your husband would have a blast and maybe even end up with #4. :) Every relationship needs some time away from the kids. I would ask the parents about leaving the kids at home and splitting up the days.

We don't do kid free vacations. We only tried once, just to go away for a long weekend, and we ended up having to come home early. My mom works full time and she also has a part time job so it's out of the question to ask her to babysit for more than one night. My inlaws are getting older and we just don't feel safe leaving our daughter with them for more than one night either, especially if we are out of town. The reason we had to come home early the one time we tried to have a long weekend was that my inlaws were keeping our daughter and my father inlaw ended up in the hospital. Not so much fun for our daughter, who was 3 1/2 at the time, to watch an ambulance come get her papa. At that point, we came to the realization that we just can't do any type of adult vacation.

Absolutely they are realistic! You NEED that time away and don't need to feel guilty for it. Your children need to be nurtured but also your marriage. My husband and I both work full time demanding careers and have two boys age 8 1/2 & 2 1/2 who are involved in sports, activities, school etc as well. I am up and out of the house by 6:30am and most nights don't get to sit down until after my little one is in bed at 8:30. Hubby and I went on a 6 night vacation last Oct (during school) to NYC for his best friends wedding and made a vacation of it. That was our first real vacation without kids since our honeymoon 10 years ago! My inlaws came and stayed at our house and kept the boys. I made sure I had everything organized prior for my inlaws so they would have no problems handling the boys and school, homework, activities etc. Hubby and I hardly had time for each other and that vacation really renewed us and our relationship and gave us the break we needed. My MIL really instilled that we need that time away just for us two. Plus my boys really enjoyed their Nana & Papa being there. We are going to Hot Springs for a long weekend in Sept for our 10 year anniversary and can't wait!

Sorry, reality check here, you have young kids so your vacations cannot be what they are for your childless friend. Different priorities. Your MIL is not responsible for your kids, you are. I know how harsh that sounds but I have been there! It sucks but it is what it is. You can't go running off to Vegas on that kind of schedule but guess what? You have three beautiful kids that are going to be grown and gone before you know it! Hang in there and know that other opportunities will come. There is always your friend's 40th!!!

You never know, unless you ASK these people, to help and if they can or are willing.
THEN, you can make your trip/plans or not.
But you need to ask them first, your parents or MIL.

You didn't ask them at all, yet.
So you are just superimposing your perceptions of it.
Maybe they WILL help you... so you can make your trip.

And then, it will take PLANNING, AHEAD.

If you really can't find coverage, perhaps you could go without your husband. You must have some other mom friends who are in the same boat; scrambling to find child care so they can go on this trip. What if you and the other moms left the husbands at home and shared a room together?

OR

consider asking the grandparents and/or friends. I don't think a 30 minute ride means that it would be "almost impossible" for your parents to get your kids to school on time! They could certainly make it for for Monday and Tuesday, then your in-laws could stay at the house overnight TUesday night, and take them to school on Wednesday. How's that?

I have four kids and honestly don't want to vacation without them.
I even feel sad when we go without my 22 yo who has been out of the house for 4 years. I want him to have the experiences we are able to now afford for the other three.
And when people ask me to do something sans children I simply refuse. Plus I am 45 and am still running to so many activities I can't keep my head on straight sometimes. Some people are older than their actual birth age.

Do you have any friend who have kids around the same age? We have taken our kid's friends so their mom and dad can have a relaxing vacation. We figure good karma plus if we needed someone to watch well they owe us. To me it is nothing to take on a couple more kids when they already have the same schedule.

Since she is your BFF...maybe just YOU could go, by yourself? That way hubby would be at home for the kids. And you could only join BFF and the gang for a few days rather than the whole trip. Of course, that's assuming hubby would be OK w/ you being in Vegas solo! lol
Personally...my hubby and I did a kid free weekend when our DD was 5 months and didn't even have much fun b/c we missed her so much. We decided that for now, we have no interest in being apart from her overnight again.
I also feel that you can certainly make it clear to your BFF how much youcare about her, without being there. A heartfelt apology, coupled with a thoughtful gift and card with a handwritten message explaining how much she means to you, could be all you need...and she should understand, that you have kids so it's hard to travel.
Good luck!

Do you have any friends you could have watch the kids? I have done this for my friends in the past but have yet to ask them for the favor back. Good luck on your vacation!

Since it's planned during the work/school week, that makes it particularly difficult. I'm all for the occasional two-day vacay w/ my husband, but it has to make sense for all involved (us, grandparents, kids). With what you've described, I'd probably send my regrets and a bottle of bubbly up to her room on her first night.

I promised my husband a kid free vacation on our 10 year anniversary. A Thursday through Sunday event.....so nope...lol I havent quite given up, but in 8 years of marriage ive never had....or really wanted one.

I want my kids to have that memory too.

Are your in-laws and parents your only options?

It takes a village. I have always had a host of friends and family to take my kids. Hubby and I just went away for 4 days without the kids. His son is in Florida, my son went with his father and my nephew and the dog went to our Aunt's and Uncle's. My kids are older but they still need to be shipped away at times.

Get your village or just get over your hesitating in asking the relatives. Just ask and let them determine whether they will or won't, can or can't and then move forward from there.

I'm 40 with two young kids! Come on! It's not that hard - yes you get tired but my 20 something friends also complain of being tired. I think you should definitely go! Get either of the grandparents to stay at your home if possible (or have them split it up half and half). This will be great bonding time with them. We are about to go on an adult only vacation and my hubby's parents are going to be watching our kids. They are super excited - especially his mom. Last year our son (who was then 7) spent a week at their house by himself and had a blast!!! You should try to make this work - it'll be great for you and your hubby. It's not often you get to do something like this in life once you have kids so I say go for it!

My husband and I have the same problem. We both have ex's that are not willing to work peaceably for us to ever have a vacation without the kids. And I have to BEG my mom to take my kids if only for a 4 day weekend. In fact, my husband is in the running for a fully paid trip to Hawaii thru work in a few weeks but if he even qualifies I don't think we will have anyone to watch the kids. Its just so sad. But we have no kid weekends every other weekend so we do have some time off but a week would really be a blessing but never seems to happen. =(

If you don't have anyone reliable to watch the kids, that limits your options a bit. You could go by yourself and hubby could stay with the kiddos. Since he was was going to go, it doesn't sound like time off is a problem. I know it's not ideal (or as nice a getaway). But that way you have someone trustworthy to watch the kiddos and you can join your friend. Otherwise start buttering up the grandparents now or look for someone you can pay to do the job. We do kidless weekends occasionally, but never kidless vacations. It just seems like it would be too hard to schedule everything.

Every year my hubby and I olan a kid free vacation and every year we end uo changing our minds and taking the kids ( I realize this isnt an option for you). Maybe your parents and MIL could split the time?

Don't go! I am more concerned about your littlest ones than I am your 6 yr old and MIL, but the whole thing is crazy. If she's your BFF, she will understand or you need to re-evaluate that relationship big time. This is so unfair to everyone involved except your BFF. It is incredibly selfish of her to demand this! I wouldn't even consider going for one minute!

Good luck, I have a hard time leaving my little baby with anyone. Once their over 1yr old, it's much easier on everyone involved. It doesn't hurt to ask though, if you feel comfortable leaving them. If you don't feel comfortable leaving them, it's perfectly ok to let your friend know you can't make it. If she doesn't understand now, she'll understand once she has kids. So if she gets upset with you, just explain you would if you could...or if it took place over the weekend instead of the week.

Another thought, if you decide to leave your kids with your parents/inlaws, you could go Friday night with your hubby. That'd give you and your hubby a few days together alone, then spend Sunday with your friend and go home that night or Monday night. Then it'd only be Monday that someone would have to get your kid to school...or they could miss one day.

One option is a college kid to come stay at the house with the kids while you are away. If you find a couple of girls now and start using them occasionally, you will have a relationship built up by then. That will be pretty pricey though. Another option is a sahm on your block that the kids could stay with. Somebody the kids already know and trust and would welcome the $. Or, splitting the time between your parents and your mil. By the way, I have a 4 and 5 yr old, an 18 and 19 yr old. A cranky unemployed husband, I'm 40. I work full time and have a side business. I definately need a nap, like pronto.