Keeping 2 Year Old in Bed

Updated on February 26, 2008
J.K. asks from Farmington, MI
20 answers

My 2 year old son just realized he can climb out of his crib, and now he won't stay in it. We have a twin bed for him in his room already that he can sleep in, but we are having some trouble keeping him in bed. We got a gate for his doorway today because he kept coming out of his room and wouldn't take a nap yesterday, or go to sleep last night. That seemed to work for naptime today, but I am looking for any suggestions on how you got your child to stay in bed and in his room until you go to get him out. We can't have him wandering the house while I'm showering in the morning. Thanks!

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M.Y.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I have recently switched my daughter to a toddler bed. At first she wouldnt stay in her room and that worried me. So we put a baby gate up in her door way that is the best thing i did. She stays in her room she has a toy room down stairs. So we only keep a few things in her room so she wont be up all night playing. So i feel it is not mean to put a gate up it is a safety precaution.

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T.W.

answers from Lansing on

He probably is new to being in a big boy bed. Because of this, he will have a hard time with this new freedom, but with time the newness will ware out and he will stay in his bed. The gate is the best way--they are in no way mean! If the parent the other mom was talking about was a bad mom it has nothing to to with having a gate!

When he is older and can recognize numbers, you can have a digital clock by his bed and next to it tape the earliest time he can get out of bed. I did this with both of my kids, and it worked like a charm. Make sure you put books or other quite toys at the end of his bed he can play with in the morning while he waits for the time change!

GL:)

1 mom found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Detroit on

Welcome to parenthood! I highly suggest that you keep him out of the crib. You are doing the right thing by getting a gate for his doorway. You may have to wake up earlier to take your shower or your husband will have to watch him while your in the shower, but don't put him back in the crib.
My daughter discovered how to crawl out of her crib. The first time she did it, she broke her leg. She was also a child full of energy.
They eventually get used to the idea of the different bed and settle down.
Good Luck!
C.

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M.B.

answers from Benton Harbor on

I keep a gate in my son's door all night long. I even keep one in my daughter's doorway so he cant go in there. When he's ready to get up he walks over to the gate he says "hi mommy" and i go get him and take the gate out of the doorway! I did create a playroom downstairs and took all his toys out of his room so he couldnt play at bedtime. That way when it's bedtime, all he can do is go to bed.
Good luck!!

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A.G.

answers from Detroit on

I love gates -- they are safe, and not mean at all! Kids rooms are hardly prisons, they are (or at least should be) safe, comfortable places. We let our son have a few quiet puzzles, stuffed animals, and even a c.d. player in there, so it's actually a really fun place. He usually plays for a few minutes before he goes to sleep, and you can't force him to sleep anyway, but the gate ensures that his room is where he stays. Enjoy the peace & quiet all through the night & naptime!

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J.M.

answers from Lansing on

At 2, if he wants out of bed or his room...he'll be out of his room somehow unless you lock him in. However with the energy of a 2 year old, and only one adult in the house, you can either shower before he is normally up or I used to keep 3 kids 5 and under in the bathroom with me, so I knew where they were while I was in the shower. It calls for a quick shower, but at least I knew they safe. It gets better as he will establish some type of routine and be able to handle more structure.

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

Just want to encourage you, J.. I had these problems and many other challenges with my strong-willed first child, and she is a successful physician, mother, and loving/giving person today. My doctor at the time told me "maybe she doesn't need to nap." I tearfully replied "but I do!" It did seem that the bigger deal I made out of things, the worse they got - naps, food issues, potty training. She loved a battle and wore me out. Be confident and try to increase your positive time with your son, filling up his love tank any way you can. Stay calm. You are the mom he has been given and exactly what he needs. Hang in there! G. B.

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D.D.

answers from Detroit on

welcome to my world!! we have twins age 2-and have been successful to a point. They have been out of their beds since 18 months.
Most of is establishing a routine, and keeping to it. we let them grab a book or a toy to look at when they go down for a nap, and then I sit in the rocker with a book for myself. They quite down and go to sleep usually right away, though many days it can take up to 45 min. Currently, they have been really good about getting quiet then going to sleep.

HOWEVER, if I leave the room before they are totally asleep, even though one eyelid is closed and the other on its way, they are up and running amok.Same for the evening, but I add storytime to the mix.

Additionaly, if they are up after 1 warning, they lose the coveted toy or book for the rest of the day. Once they realize that, it works rather well.

Good luck, it takes patience and preserverence, but eventually, they get it.

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M.V.

answers from Kalamazoo on

If the child is responsible,in the mornings you could have them turn on the TV and watch cartoons. Set out a bowl of cold cereal or snack they could eat till you can fix them breakfast. Tell them that they can play in their room till you come to get them, that way may be safer if the other idea wouldn't work. The last idea would work for naps too, again they can play in their room as part of quiet time, if their tired they'll fall a sleep on their own.

A little about me:
I'm a grandma but this worked for me when my kids, now 25 and 31 were that age. Hope this helps :-)

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M.P.

answers from Saginaw on

Try doing what the Super Nanny does. The first time he gets out of bed, take his hand and say, "You neeed to stay in bed, Darling". Then after that, do not say anything but walk him back each time. It may take awhile but eventually he will realize that he isn't getting any reaction from you and will give it up. Good luck!

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C.T.

answers from Detroit on

i have a 3 year old an a 20 month old. they share a room. and YES i use the gate across there door. they only have books, puzzles and stuff animals in there. they are safe in there while you sleep or in the shower, instead of crusin the house looking to get into something.as for at night, just put him to bed and the gate up. he may wonder around for a while, he may even fall asleep on the floor.but eventually he will get that the bed is more comfy!

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H.K.

answers from Detroit on

okay....I really hate to admit what I do - but it could help! lol My 3-1/2 yr old would get up in the middle of the night...just to paint a picture of ONE of the late night escapades he was on: He got into our fridge and broke every egg that we had (over a dozen) in, down the front, on the floor and sink. Then - he got into the margarine...and the baking soda...needless to say EVERYTHING in the fridge had all 3 things on him...THEN while having egg, butter, and baking soda on his pj's, he climbed in bed with my husband and I! Did I mention we're hard sleepers?!? ANYWAYS - after speaking with my mom and others - the only thing to do was to turn his door handle around. We had tried those plastic door locks - but all he had to do what really turn hard & he could get out. So - turn the door handle around so you can lock him in his room at night. That's what we did...and after a while he's pretty much learned to either stay in bed all night - or knock on the door if he needs something! (I have 2 older boys....had to do the same thing to them too...) It does sound a little cruel - but it's all in how you use it. When he would cry - I'd go back in and put him in bed the first few times so he would know we hadn't left him!...after that - he'd cry himself to sleep. Anyways - I hope this helps!
Good luck!

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A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I think it is a safety issue to want to keep him in his room not a strict parent thing. My husband sawed a door in half right above the middle hinges and we installed it on my sons door when he was that age. We also reversed the door knob so that the lock was on the outside. Some people might think that this sounds mean, but we did not use it that way. It was for his safety so he did not wander around at night or fall down the stairs! WHen he first moved into his big boy bed, he would not always stay in it, so I just let him sleep on his floor if he wanted. I would leave an extra throw blanket and small pillow in his room. Try to get your shower done before he wakes up or after he wakes up take him in with you. Also, my son would always turn his light on, so I would unscrew his light bulb alittle bit at bedtime. He might play for alittle in the dark, but would soon get bored and fall asleep. Eventually he learned that it was more comfortable to sleep in the bed than on the floor!!!!!

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C.G.

answers from Detroit on

We did the gate thing for my son because he would wake up progressively earlier every morning. Once he learned that we wouldn't move the gate and let him out until 7am, he learned to sleep later. If he woke up before 7, he played in his room, but we got into a routine that has him going to bed aroudn 8pm and waking up at 7, every day. That means we don't get weekends to sleep late, but biological clocks don't work that way. As for naps, once he was moved to the twin bed, I had to sit in his room (at first right on the floor next to his bed) and tell him to lay still and close his eyes. Eventually, I was able to stand in the doorway until he fell asleep. Then his little sister came along and I wasn't able to do that since they share a room, so he naps on the couch. He gets 45 minutes where he has to lay still and quiet. I give him a blanket and a sippy cup of water and his bunny and about 75% of the time he sleeps, but he always comes out of quiet time refreshed. I guess each kid has what works for him or her and you have to experiment a little to figure out what works for you. Good Luck!

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L.C.

answers from Saginaw on

The gate was really helpful for us for keeping our daughter in her room. However, being very strong-willed like the other kids in these examples, the staying in bed part was difficult. The best thing that worked for us was to make sure that she was really tired when we put her to bed and shut everything off. We pretended to be asleep so she thought she was not missing anything and fell asleep. Keep in mind that this did not work all the time but was the best we could do. That's the best I can offer.

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

My heart goes out to you. When my daughter was 2 it was a major problem with her. We finally had to hook her door shut until she went to sleep. Then she would wake up in the night and get into everything that she could. Just pray they out grow it. But my daughter is 38 now and just as active as she was att 2.
K. S.

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A.T.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My son climbed out of his crib before he was 18 mos. I bought him a toddler bed and he did well for awhile. The trick was to take the crib down so he had no choice of where to sleep. After a couple weeks he started to get out of bed also. I would hear him in the middle of the night heading down stairs! I put up a gate at his door and that kept him in. I also put a door handle lock on his closet door because he would go in there and play. It is a frustrating time!!! They are too young to really comprehend they are to stay in bed. You could try making a chart for him. Draw a simple picture of him laying in bed and a picture of him standing and then like 3-4 boxes to represent days. In the morning give him the sticker to put on the chart. He will probably think it is cool and it may help him stay in bed. I hope this helps. As frustrating and trying as it is remember it is a phase, (it may last awhile though).

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A.R.

answers from Boise on

My son kept doing the same thing at night, and we did a bunch of things to try to keep him in his bed. In the end, a little behavioral reinforcement worked wonders. My little man wanted to door open, and each time he got left his room (and eventually out of bed) we could close the door for a minutes, then open it back up and explain if he wanted that door open he needed to stay in bed. He no longer gets out of bed. He will call to us and ask for water or cuddle or just play, but wont get up without permission. I know other moms who have taken away favorite cuddle toys, night lights, or whatever would let your kid know that they will get what they want if they stay in the bed, and lose that favorite thing if they get out.

And I agree that if your worry about him wondering around at night, the gate is a great (and not a strict parent) thing to do. Most of the mom's I know have one. We used ours for the longest time to keep the dog out. Our little guy never left his room at night after he went to sleep, it was just a matter of keeping him in his room long enough for him to go to sleep.

Good luck!

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V.T.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter is 3 and we went through a rough patch like that when we converted her crib to the bed. We made sort of a big deal about the change and she was doing well at first then discovered she had a little control over her night time thing. We stuck to the same routine we did before we changed to a bed. She would get out and ask for water or potty or whatever excuse we let her "get it out of her system" but each time we'd guide her back to the room and back into bed. Explaining it's time for night, night. She realized after a few nights of this that she wasn't going to get to stay up. We also didn't make a big deal of it. We stuck to the routine. It was a good 5-7 nights and her testing it. But 90% of the time she stays down. Even now once in awhile we put her down do the story and sing a song that after 10 minutes she gets up and says she has to potty. I just take her to the potty and send her right back to bed. She listens. We made the mistake of making it a big deal and it back fired. We found that sticking to the routine and gentle persuasion worked for us. Hope this helps.

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A.S.

answers from Detroit on

Gosh - I absolutely hate those gates. The only other mom I've ever seen use them across a bedroom was absolutely the worst mom in the world - super strict and really weird. I've got three boys - 13, 10, and 4 and have had them wandering around the house and in my bed so know it's worrying. When you're having a shower, put a box of toys in your bathroom. Even if your bathroom is tiny it'll keep him occupied for as long as you're getting clean. In six months he'll be safer to leave in your bedroom. I still keep a big box of toys in my bedroom - as he gets older, lock your bedroom door - with him inside with you - and let him hang out in your bedroom when you're in the shower. Do you have a TV in your bedroom - if you do, you'll be able to use that as a 10 minute baby sitter too! When he comes into your bed, it's just for comfort. He's probably cold. What's so bad about a little cuddle, then putting him back. If he doesn't stay, so what? Eventually he will. My eldest started sleeping in his bed about three, middle one kept coming into my room in the middle of the night until he was almost six, and my little one has been sleeping thro' since he was two. Don't have such strict rules - relax!

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