Looking for an Answer to Bedtime

He's old enough for some discipline. Just like you make him do other things because they are good for him, he needs to sleep at a consistent time because it is good for him. My 20 mo old also loves to run out of his bed/room. We use counting with him. The first time he comes out we give him a warning "That is one. On three we close the door." and bring him back to bed. If he comes out again "That is two. On three we close the door." and bring him back. If he comes out a third time we say nothing (we've already said 'Good night' and told him the rules...), we just bring him back to bed and close his door. If your boy can open the door, you have several options-- turn the lock so that it is on the outside of his door, get a 'child-proof' door handle, or put up a gate in his door.

The first several nights we did this he cried, of course, but it didn't last long and now he is so much better. I remind him of the rules right when I put him to bed and usually never have to count past 1. He also usually goes back to the bed without us escorting him. He doesn't cry any more and goes to sleep much more quickly. Sometimes he'll get up and play with a toy in his room (there aren't many though, mostly just books), but we don't reprimand him for that-- just as long as he is quiet in his room.

Sounds like you give your child a lot of love during the day. As long as you don't use a yelling or mean voice, he will still feel loved, but will know you are serious about him going to sleep at bedtime. The major difference I see between our parenting styles is that I've never sat with my kids until they were asleep, even as babies (unless they woke up after a bad dream or some such), so my kids might be a little more used to going to sleep on their own. But, thought I'd throw in what has worked for us. Good luck!

Supernanny's technique worked like a charm on my daughter. the first time he's up, put him back in bed and say "time for bed. goodnight." Do NOT say anything else. The next time and all subsequent times, you calmly pick him up and put him back in bed without saying anything. There should be no communication, no engagement (its what the kids are looking for and provides an opportunity to negotiate). The first night will be brutal. Our daughter was only 4-5 times that first night, but there's been episodes of Supernanny where the first night was 2-3 hours of doing this. You repeat this routine every night until they understand that when lights are out, they stay in bed. For our daughter, it was three nights and we were done. From the episodes of Supernanny, most kids stay in bed in less than a week. I know it sounds like a pain, but its better to get him into a good bedtime and staying put now than fight it when he's older and can figure out the child locks and childproof handles. Plus, its a good start on discipline that's based on your authority rather than on physical control.

Your son sounds a lot like mine. We had the same problem with running out and bought a doorknob cover at Target. It spins when the child tries to use it, but adults can squeeze it to turn the knob. We put it on the inside of the bedroom door and it doesn't affect the other side. My son can't get out, but it's not locked (I didn't want to lock the door, either). We chose to do this because we had no way of putting up a gate in his doorway (too small with the way the hall & room are designed) but I have heard of people putting up a gate in the doorway instead. We put the cover on within a week of switching my son to the toddler bed, and he was never very upset by the fact he couldn't get out any more. It might be different for your son, since he is used to you sitting there. If that's a problem, you could try sitting each night for a shorter & shorter time or moving closer to the door each night. Good luck.

We use a sticker chart for our son. We make up a chart with a square for each day of the week, or month or however long you want. We let him pick out stickers at the store. For every night that he gets in his bed, no fussing or whining, and stays there, he gets to put a sticker on the chart. When the chart is full, he gets to go shopping and pick out a new action figure. That works pretty well for us as he gets instant positive reinforcement with the stickers the next morning and long term goal setting with the action figure at the end of the chart. We also tell him that once he is in bed, he can't get up again, unless it is to go to the bathroom. If and when he does get up, we just take him by the hand and lead him back to bed. Don't talk to him or engage him because that is what he wants. It might take a couple of nights for him to get into bed and stay there, but it will work. Good luck

Many moms probably won't like this idea, but it works well. We started telling our daugher that we didn't care how long she stayed wake as long as she was in her bed. If she stayed in her bed until morning she could have a piece of candy. That has worked fairly well. Most nights we never hear from her again, and in the morning she gets to pick out one piece of candy. On nights when she is a stinker and throws fits, and won't stay in her room she doesn't get any candy. We buy small stuff like smarties, and the little bite size candy bars...things that aren't going to spoil her breakfast. Also if you tell them about something fun that you might be doing the next day, but that tomorrow can't come until you go to sleep that works pretty good for us too.
If it was me, I would not put a lock or door cover on, because then they can't get out if they need to. You can't very well potty train a kid who can't get up to go potty at night, can you? my sister in law did this, and now she has an almost 4 year old who is still in a pull up at night, while my 2 year old has never had to wear them. If she needs to go pee, she can use the bathroom

What we did with our daughter was to put a baby gate on her bedroom door. We'd put her to bed and then we'd pull her door shut part of the way and then put up the gate.

She got up a lot at first and would come to the gate. We'd tell her that it was bedtime and put her back to bed. It got to the point where she would run back to bed if she saw us coming. Gradually, she stopped coming to the gate. After a while, we took down the gate and just partly closed her bedroom door.

She still gets up to get toys or books and then gets back in bed, but she stays in her room now unless she has to go potty or is sick.

Frequently, we'd find her sleeping some other place other than her bed, but she learned that her bed was more comfortable and stopped on her own.

Hi There,
One thing that works is a baby gate in his bedroom door way...that way you can keep the door open but have the gate to get in and out. It will keep him in, unless he has special houdini capabilities of getting out or standing on a chair to climb over or climbing the gate itself, but they have so many different kinds of gates that would work for this. I would continue to do the night time routine for reassurance anyhow, just a thought, but hopefully something will work for you soon.
Take Care!
H.

this is pretty normal for his age. i found that giving them a book on tape/cd to listen to helps because they want to stay there to listen to it. i prefer cd's because they're longer and you don't have to get up as often to put on a new one. we also reward our kids in the morning if they stayed in bed the night before. the reward can be as simple as a marshmallow or a sticker. there was a time i had to lock the door because my oldest would come out and hit the baby while i was nursing him. it was hard for me to do because my oldest seemed so upset and scared to have the door closed, but i couldn't let him hurt the baby. i would open my son's door as soon as the baby was in the crib in another room. i was surprised that he eventually was more comfortable with the door open only a crack. he'd gotten over his fear on his own. good luck!

This has always been a struggle for us and mine just turned four. she is a night owl like me...can't blame her. Try to make it room time. He has to be in his room, period, end of discussion. Pretend to not care if he sleeps. this didn't work for me. We had to say she had to be on her bed but could sing until sleepy. She often doesn't go to sleep until 10. We just make it her time to be alone and ours to be alone. Also, we did reverse the lock for now. Somtimes, when it is realy bad, we lock the door after she gets one warning and return to room...then door locked the next time. Just stay consistant and regular. Also, try reading other times of the day. W found if the schedule is to ridgit with bath, books, etc. that it gets harder as they get older. they expect it and push for more. limit to one book, period. and two minutes of tuck in time...don't draw it out to a long ordeal. Sleep time is sleep tie, that is it.

Hi V.,

Have you asked him why he won't stay in his bed? I don't know how verbal he is but sometimes these little guys can surprise you. We leave lights on with our 3 1/2 year old still, he will tell us it's "scary" when we leave and we've had many discussions about monsters and the front door being locked so no-one can get in etc etc. Have you tried rewarding him for staying in his bed? Maybe do a special activity first thing in the morning after a successful evening/night with him not getting up. Sometimes I leave my son "reading" a favorite book and he'll fall asleep with the book over the top of him. Do persist, any change in routine takes a while to become the "new" routine. It sounds like once he's asleep, he's good for the night....
Good luck!