Just Want Some Comments to Make Me Feel Better

My binky addict had his until he was 3! He has dental issues too. Binky issue? I don't know. But you know what I did the best I could at the time for me and my son! So did you!

Don't worry, like the others said many children have teeth issues. My older two never really used a binkie and they both have braces. My 3rd was hooked until about 3, she is 7 and has a night retainer. I wonder if it is related...but on the other hand she would have probably been like her older sisters anyway. There are so many other things to worry about in life, don't sweat the small stuff. The funny thing is when they get older they actually want the braces :)

My younger daughter had no interest in either a binky or her thumbs, but the older one used a pacifier until age 4. Her pediatric dentist told me it might cause some dental issues but it was quite possible she'd have the same problem either way and if the pacifier was important to her, I should let her have it. He said, "It's easier to fix teeth than psyches". I'm so grateful for that advice. It got us to a point where she could give it up comfortably.

My son is 16 months old and still takes a binky at night and at naps so I understand the attachment to the binky and difficulty in getting rid of it (which is why I haven't done that yet). You seemed concerned about the type of binky he was using so I just wanted to share with you somthing that I read. I read in the baby book that I have that you should offer the smallest size because it will do less damage to the teeth. It's smaller so it won't push against the teeth as much. I know not everything in every book is 100% true but I thought I would throw that out there. Also, 18 month binkies are not strictly for 18 months old. Depends on the size of the child's mouth, etc. That 18 months is not a strict cut-off point. Don't blame yourself. There is a good chance that it will be corrected and his perm teeth will come in just fine.

You and I may be visiting the same orthodontist down the road! My daughter (4) had a latex Nuk until she was 2.5 . No complaints from the dentist. My son (2) wouldn't go near them. He would only use silicone, it was a Nuk but the really small one. He had a very rough first year caused by reflux and I let him have whatever he wanted. The larger silicone Nuk made him gag. Shame on your dentist for making you feel bad. My dentist says it's too hard to tell until the permanent teeth come in, so you should stop beating yourself up over it. Us moms have it hard. We do whatever we think is right, safe and best for our child. We spend countless hours reading and researching, only to be judged by someone who does not live within our 4 walls.

Hi R.,

I suggest you get into Co-dependents Anonymous while you are young. Learn how to not take things personally. If not, you are going to be a basket case before you are 30 years old.

Good luck. D.

I just read in a magazine yesterday at the doctors office that the AAPD says no binkys after 3. This was a great comfort to me as all my kids have had binkys after two years old till they were around three yrs old. Also only one child has an over bite but it was so obvious we could see it on the ultrasound where there are no binkys!

Lots of kids have overbites -- kids who have never sucked their thumbs or sucked on binkies. All 4 of our kids had braces, but only 1 really hung with a pacifier.

As your child goes thru life, you are going to find many many things that make you second guess yourself, and give you an opportunity to feel guilty. What you have to do is evaluate decisions you made with only the information you had at the time, not thru hindsight. That's not fair to you.

And remember, you're child will live with an overbite. Even if it is never corrected, your child will survive, and thrive, make something of his life, be energetic and have fun. Your child won't thrive without love. I think he's go the love. So go for it, and ENJOY him ! Don't waste these challenging years by burdening yourself with guilt. There's too much good in you to harness it in with guilt and indecision.

Hi R.,

Don't beat yourself up about this!! My son age 4 just gave his up a few months ago and my other son age 2 still has his - I just recently bought a larger one for him. I know the dentist tells me to take it from him, but like yours, mine is a screamer and I figure if this is the one thing that calms him down and gives him comfort at night I'm going to let him have it. He is only allowed to have it at night at nap times - it stays in his bed. I figure I'll worry about his teeth alignment if and when he needs braces - it'll probably be one of those things where I'll look back and say "I should've listened to the dentist when he was 2!"... as I'm forking out money for braces... oh well!

Naturally perfect teeth are extremely rare. Let it go! :)

I respond to this while laughing. I have 3 brothers, and the one that is the thumb sucker (or was, he's 26 now) is the only one of us that doesn't have an overbite. Same with my kids.

Yeah, sucking can do a little damage, but so what? Don't get guilty about this. My youngest son had what we thought were stains on his teeth that turned out to be decay that went THROUGH his teeth. The pediatrician said this: "Why do you feel bad? You did not rot his teeth on purpose. Can you take my mommy guilt too? Cause stuff like this happens with kids, and it's no one's fault."

Said by a woman with kids my age? Awesome. Stuff happens. my son had surgery, my thumb-sucking binky-baby brother has perfect teeth (it really burns me, can you tell?).

PS, a little overbite adds character!

Hi R., I too am guilty of enabeling a binky addiction, though my son is now 3 1/2. He has only been getting it at night since he was 18 months old because he started day care and they were not allowed (cold turkey LOL). He naps just fine there without it. He has gone to sleep many times without it but around 2am wakes up and LOOKS for it and starts crying. I am not ready to deal with that for a week so I give it back. His dentist has also remarked on his high narrow pallet but I am a dental assistant too and will let him have his binky until age 5 if necessary. Isn't that why dentists created BRACES??????? He was doomed to get them anyway. Both myself and my husband had them as kids. My son says he will give it up on his 4th birthday because "BIG BOY'S don't use binkys". Let's hope December 1st gets here soon LOL... Good luck and start putting money away for those braces now.....:D K. R.

Not to sound harsh, but SERIOUSLY??? It's just an overbite! 2 of my 3 children have an overbite and none of them ever took a pacifier. We are born that way and it may have nothing to do with the fact that your son used a pacifier. Life may throw major curve balls at you down the road, don't sweat the little things that are beyond your control!

Hi R.. STOP IT!!! There will be enough decisions that you will agonize over in the comming years...buying guilt about a bit of an overbite that "may" correct itself is nuts! I fought off the binky from all three of my girls...my oldest went through it twice and then started to suck her thumb! Of my three girls the youngest needed braces to correct her bite (over and under!) and my oldest teeth have been slowly correcting themselves since she quit (we had to get help from an orthodontist to stop the thumb sucking for good). My middle one; she used a binky til she was almost three has perfactly straight we did nothing teeth. So, save the guilt for those times when you really need it...remember if it won't truly effect your life 10 years from now...don't sweat about it! Best wishes.

R.,
Look, we all do things that may cause an effect. This may or may not be O. of those things. Try to keep in in perspective. We all have enough guilt as moms to last a lifetime. I distinctly remember poking my son directly in the eye once as I was trying to brush hair back. I also remember snipping his ear as I was trimming his hair once. My point is we have enough stuff to regret that we KNOW is/was our fault...this may simply be coincidence. Don't be so hard on yourself. At this moment in time, it IS what it IS. Most likely this will not result in any long term consequences for your son. Give yourself a break, Mom!

Dear R.,
My son never would touch a pacifier after the first week home from the hospital. He also rarely sucked his thumb after about 6 months. We were just told that he has an overbite and needs braces. I think you can safely have no guilt over the binky years.
Relax and know that you are an awesome mom.
G.

Don't be so hard on yourself. We all don't do things according to "the timetables" for any number of reasons. I'll share 2 of mine. My daughter took a bottle until around age 2. Also, she is now 4 and has only recently warmed up to potty training. Some people may gasp at that but they haven't lived in my home and don't realize the other issues I had to deal with. I picked my battles. While your son's dental issue is unfortunate realize that it may have come about anyway and it may correct itself. Take a moment and give yourself credit for other things you feel you've done well. I'm sure you'll have many good experiences to draw upon. :)

e.

I always heard binkys were better and would not harm the teeth really because it is a soft nipple - opposed to thumb sucking (thumb has bone in it). Your son is still young - I wouldn't worry about it much!

My sister sucked her thumb til she was 6, but I stopped when I was much much younger. Yet, I was the one that got the massive overbite and she did not. So who knows... Genetics? Heredity? dumb luck?

Nonetheless, nothing you can do about it now, he no longer uses a pacifier -- so just deal with what you've got and take one step at a time. You're being a great mom by caring so much about your sons.

Hi R.,
My son sucked on a bink until he was 3.5 (or so). There were many reasons why I let it go on that long, but that's not important. Anyway, he had a slight overbite from it as a result. He will be 6 in October, and he has beautiful perfect teeth - no overbite at all. I know allot has to do with how hard they suck, and hereditity, but I am hoping in another year or so, you will find your son's teeth have moved back into place! Good luck! C. G.

hey R.. i just wanted to say a few things. i worked for an orthodontist for almost 8 years before staying home with my daughter. there is just about nothing that they cant fix. we have seen the worse of cases come in there, and 2 years later walk out with a movie star smile. most kids, if their parents have the insurance, get braces even if they dont have an "over bite" but just b/c they are their parents want their teeth perfectly straight. just wanted to give you piece of mind, that even if he requires braces... he could require braces, head gear, ect... for other reasons too. and will have plenty of friends in school to go through that with. most orthodontists wont see kids till around age 7 though. its a maturity thing. they might even do a phase I of a tiny amount of braces, or an appliance or head gear. a lot of times that helps correct the problem completely or at least lessen it. so that the time when they are older around middle school age, they dont need a second phase of braces, or if they do, they can have their full braces on for less time. the technology is great. and not nearly as uncomfortable as when we were kids!

also... wanted to say.... i had braces as an adult working there. my parents could never afford them. i only needed my braces for 15 months, not 2 years. and my boss (the orthodontist who graduated first in his class) told me i actually was a rare case who helped myself by sucking my thumb till the embarrassing age of 8. i actually would has suffered from a severe under bite and cross bite. but somehow my sucking my thumb way past the normal age helped to correct my bite some, so that later on in life i didnt require surgery which some severe cases do. so keep that in mind and maybe things will all work out in the long run with your son. you have a lot of time for things to grow and change on their own in his little mouth! i wish you the best! and if you are in the york area, i can highly recommend a super intelligent orthodontist. take care!

Nothing wrong with asking for a little reassurance!

I never sucked my thumb or had a binky but I had an undiagnosed tongue thrust, which caused an over-bite and I needed braces twice! What was my mother supposed to do, get a degree in mouth physiology etc and diagnose me too?

We can't win... we make choices as we go along - sometimes we consciously weigh up the pros and cons to things, and sometimes we don't find out until later that the choices we made maybe weren't the ideal ones. But, who's perfect and never makes any 'mistakes'?

Also, if you had known this would happen, and could have seen into the future, would you have been able to do any differently, or did you really just want to give your son what you thought he needed at the time? You can hopefully somewhat give him what he needs as time goes on - it always changes anyway - and get him braces when he's older!
Hugs,
Ax

I was having major problems with my son's binky use; well actually it was more along the lines of a binky addiction!! My friend absolutely raved about the cut method, and all of the psychology behind it. She found it on www.bye-bye-binky.com , which is great that it was also free. We went with it and OMGosh... worked so beautifully for my son with NO tantrums, not even one! Thank you God. Five days later he did not want anything to do with his binky. What a relief it was to all of us to finally be done with those darn binkies. Highly recommended! I am also interested in others experiences.... B.

My 10 year old NEVER used a pacifier (was a very happy baby) and has a huge overbite...my 13 year old (who used a pacifier until he was 4!) did not have an overbite! It's just how their mouths are built! Don't stress over it.