I was leaving a PTA meeting at 8 last night and mentioned that I had to go pick up my son (13, 8th grade) and get him to his 9-10 PM hockey practice. I was surprised that a few other parents said that they would "never" let their kids go to a practice that late. I explained that it's only been the past couple of months that they were bumped from their prior 8-9 ice time and that because it's playoff time, the coach has a no-practice, no-game-play rule so we just do what we have to do, it's part of the team commitment, etc. but they were pretty adamant that having a young teen out that late on a school night was terrible.
Is my son tired on Tuesday mornings? Definitely, but he gets through the day just fine. If he makes the JV team in high school, one day a week we'll be getting up at 4:30 for 5:30 AM practice, so occasionally being tired is just part of this sport. What do you think? Would you let your kids go to late practices for a sport they love? Do you think late practices are different from early (5 or 6 AM) before school practices? For some reason I don't often hear dismay about swimmers and skaters practicing before school but night practices seem like "bad parenting" in some parents' eyes.
Thanks everyone! Unfortunately, teams are at the mercy of the rinks in terms of ice time. There are only so many slots available, and there's a hierarchy to how they're assigned so you just take what you get. Most rinks around here are open at 5 AM and go as late as midnight so it's not like they're not doing their best to get ice time for everyone.
@AV, my town is seriously considering switching around the school start times. A neighboring town did it already and competing teams managed to work with their schedule so we're looking into it too. Right now the high school starts at 7:25, the middle school at 7:35, grades 3-5 at 8:25 and K-2 at 9. My two youngest are awake on their own and ready to start the day at 7 while the two oldest are dragging themselves out of bed at that hour. I would love for the older kids to start an hour later and for the younger kids to go earlier (not at 7:30, but maybe 8 or 8:30). If enough parents dig up the studies showing that teens perform better when they sleep later and bring it to your school committee, maybe your town will consider the change too. There are more and more communities doing it based on empirical evidence that it's the right thing to do for teens and each town that changes manages to iron out the after-school conflicts and make things work.
@Gamma G I think it has to do with scheduling the buses. My town is about 30 square miles and 5 of the 7 schools in town are in the same area so the majority of students rides to school. If all of the schools started at once, we'd have to triple the number of school buses. How does your town handle school buses with the schools starting at the same time?
My daughter didn't do sports, but she did community theater, which sometimes meant being up late for rehearsal on a school night.
As long as her grades didn't slip, I was fine with it.
Not at all bad parenting. I think it's actually teaching him a very grown-up good lesson - that if you really want something you have to work hard for it at sometimes inconvenient times and be overly tired and just have to push through it!!!!! As long as no change in grades is caused, I say it's fine.
As long as the school work is kept up I say go for it. My son is only 5 but I already see how the ice time works when they get older. We got lucky this year with 5-6pm practices and 7:30-8:30am games.
pffftttt. keeping kids up late consistently to push them into excelling at a lot of things on the parents' agenda, or letting them stay up super-late all the time due to laziness, now that would be poor parenting. but a carefully thought out decision to allow a short term solution that allows your son to continue participating in a sport he loves?
what's terrible is other parents feeling free to condemn your decisions that way. don't explain yourself to these oafs. smile pityingly at them and go on about your business.
khairete
S.
Give me a break.. I have heard this so many times from parents of young children.. they have no clue. Wait till their kids are the star Skater, Hockey player, Quarter back.. etc..
We only have 1 Swimming Pool that is indoor for all of the high school swim teams to use for practice. Some of the kids are there at 4:00am.. and as you can imagine.. Only 2 ice rinks and so the Hockey teams also practice either super early or pretty late..
But get this, our High School football games are played on Thursday or Friday nights.. and can go till 11:30.. That means the Football team, drill team, band, cheerleaders and student body are almost all up till super late.
If they are out of town.. they may not get home till 1:00 am..
They are young, they can deal with it.. and if they can't.. then do not sign them up..
I remember when I was young, I could go on very little sleep if I was enjoying what I was doing..
Yep. I would... and when I was a kid, I did.
Both for sports, and for drama.
Personally... I don't see anything different with a kid going to bed at midnight-1am and getting up at 6 or 7 and a kid going to bed at 9 or 10 and getting up at 4.
It's the same 6 or 7 hours of sleep at night.
I do think its a bit much, but if its something he loves, I might have to look the other way.
Bad parenting? No way.
At that age I will encourage my kids to be in sports and such. I would rather them involved in sports rather than some other things teenagers are involved in.
Count your blessings. I think kids who are into sports are less likely to fall into peer pressure because they know they have a lot to lose, and they are busy!
You are a good mom!
Nah, not at 13,no. If he were 7, that might be different. As long as he WANTS it, sure. I might grumble about it, I like to go to bed early. And it IS hard for families when there's younger kids in the house. Otherwise, I uderstand how hard it is the schedule all the events, ice/ gym times, etc. I think he coach must be a saint!
But then I have a competitive gymnast who was at the gym close to 20 hrs a week when she was only 6. Plus we travelled out of town nearly every other weekend for meets during the season. Cost a fortune, took up all our time, but she thrived, she loved it, she gained so much from it, so it was well worth it.
Sports like hockey, gymnastics, equestrian are more of a 'way of life' then an 'activity'.
It worked for our family. But I can certainly see how it wouldn't work for other families.
:)
Yes, I allow it. My 15-year-old also plays hockey and has routinely had 9-10 p.m. practices since he was about 13. Do I like it? No. Do I allow it? Yes. With the shortage of ice time and the large number of hockey teams here in MN there aren't really many other options. I think late night practices are better for teenagers than early morning ones because their natural body clocks have them staying up later at night, but not functioning well early in the morning.
My son takes three honors classes in high school and keeps his grades up, never anything less than a B and at least 1/2 As. If he wasn't doing well in school I might have a different opinion.
Ignore the comments and do what is best for your son and your family. My son does try to sleep late on the weekends when he has a chance. My parents often make comments about the late practices and games and I just shrug it off. Oh, I am kind of a stickler about sleepovers. He goes on far fewer sleepovers than many of his friends and he does complain about that. I tell him that he's made a choice to play hockey and that involves sacrifices in other aspects of his life. When there are sleepovers I usually set a lights out time. I am also protective of his health. He has mild asthma. If he is not feeling well or having a flare up I keep him home from the late practices and I've made him leave parties, sleepovers and "lock-ins" early, also to his dismay. Good luck.
yes I would. My kids are about to try out for the Dance company at our dance studio , and if they make it they will be out that late at least once a week. That's just how it is.
If they want to play they play by the rules.
If his grades and schoolwork aren't suffering because of it, yes, I'd allow it. When my son was 10 and 11, and was going through the final stages of prep before testing for his First Dan (First Degree Black Belt), he had to attend class 2 nights a week in an "advanced" class. The only way he could do that, (because he was also attending Confirmation classes during the week at night) was to attend a class on Monday nights that went from 7:30-8:30. And sometimes the class went over and lasted until almost 8:45 pm. Granted, that isn't as late as what you are contending with, but my son was only 11 at the time.... not 13.
You do what has to be done, as long as it doesn't affect his grades/school. Being tired one day a week is one thing. Bombing tests that day at school is another.
You are not a bad parent at all. So when there kids are in front of the TV, or computer, your son is actually doing some physical activity. The only problem I would have is the grades. Make sure he had his homework done before practice, or at least most of it. I'm sure after practice he would still be on a high and could stay up for a few more hours before crashing. Plus I bet he'd sleep really good through the night.
Hugs going out to you, don't listen to those other parents, you are doing a great job!
Yes, I would continue to take him to practices that late at night, and you don't have to defend these choices to anyone. You are teaching him all about commitment, and sometimes you have to make compromises to keep your commitments. I think you are doing a great job by keeping him involved and dedicated to his sport. And it's not THAT late.
We have a strict grades/attitude policy for sports participation in our house: if grades drop below B average or attitudes become surly then sports are out. Right now my 10 yo's soccer practices end at 8:30, and the next morning it's hard to get him up for choir practice (7:15 am). However he wants to do both, and as long as the grades/attitude are good we allow it. He starts select soccer this summer, I'm sure we'll be having more late nights on weeknights once we go select. I'm ok with it as long as grades/attitude stay good.
They changed our school start times here a few years ago; now the HS starts latest, elementary starts earliest, it's worked out really well.
As long as his school work and "mood" aren't being greatly impacted, then I don't see any harm in it.
I remember having ballet practices before performances that ran well after 8:30 in the evening and started at 7:00 in the morning at that age. Was I tired? Of course, but as long as my work was done and my grades were fine my parents had no issue with it. It wasn't all year long- just the month before the big performance.
This is, however... why I hope my son doesn't want to play hockey! Mommy couldn't get up and moving in time for a 4:30 practice!
I don't think it's bad parenting - and good point about early practices. What's the difference as long as the hours of sleep remain the same? Let the comments roll off your back!
With us, school work has to come first.
If the grades are not maintained, then the activities fall by the wayside.
I'm up at 5am and anything after 9pm is past my bedtime - so a late sport practice would not work in our house.
Occasionally we burn the midnight oil for a school project, but I go out of my way to make sure our son gets 8-10 hours of sleep a night (he sleeps 9pm till 6:30am).
At 13, the kids are bigger than they were, but they are still growing/developing and they still need the sleep.
If other people are ok with burning their candles on both ends, that's fine for them.
My son can stay up all night when he's in college if he wants to.
The rule in my Mom's house was - nobody interferes with the schedule of the wage earner - meaning, if you're keeping Mom from getting sleep it had BETTER be an emergency room type emergency.
We have the same rule.
Yes. If it is working and he is functioning then yes, you are the parent. Hockey can be a financial path to college or other careers. Who knows where it will lead. I think if his grades were suffering then I would have to adjust the schedule some, maybe laying down to nap right after school of something.
How odd about the times school starts. All our schools start at the same time, all at 8am. Then the let out times are a bit scattered so child care centers can pick up kids right when they get out.
I started at one school at 2:50, then the next one I went to was the one that let out at 3pm, then the 3:10 one, the latest one was 3:20. It was so much easier for me. The schools of course had some that let out at the same time but the ones closest to each other, the same side of town, did every 5-10 minutes with their neighboring schools.
Ahh...too late for me personally - so I would discourage it. However - I'd also discourage early morning practices cause I hate to get up before 7am - it is a struggle and always has been my entire life. Guess if your kid is dedicated and you don't mind being out and about during those times - then no harm no foul.
I'm already trying to figure out what I'll do when my little swimmer starts having to do early practice - we're lucky cause he now goes 6pm to 7:45pm twice a week - and sometimes I think even that is too late - he's only 8!
Good luck
Actually, I do hear dismay about those very early swimming and skating practices -- from parents of swimmers and skaters. I've got friends whose kids do those sports and the parents always say how punishing the schedule is and how tired their kids are when they get to school. This all really hits when kids enter the teen years; study after study has shown that teens need MORE sleep, not less, than younger children, yet the teen years are when they are getting up at 4:30 a.m. for sports or staying up very late for homework or (worst of all in my mind) having to get up in time to catch school buses that come as early as 6:20 a.m. around here.
I think 9-10 is too late for a kid to be out doing a sports practice on a regular basis mostly because the later one exercises, the longer one will be wakeful at night -- our bodies need time to wind down and exercising very late actually makes it harder to wind down for anything like a normal bedtime. However! I do get your point that this is temporary so I think you should do what you and your son agree is best for this temporary situation. I'd let him do these practices IF there is an end in sight. If the regular practice were always as late as 9, that, for our family, would be cause for reconsidering this team or this sport.
Kids do better staying up late than getting up early don't they? If he is doing OK in school, then I say no problem. Hope mine don't go for late practices...I'm an early to bed, early to riser :)
I would be uncomfortable with my teen attending any practices that go past 9pm or are earlier than 6am.
I don't know that I would allow it ONLY because I don't want to have to go out at 9:00 and 10:00 at night. I teens or preteens or whatever can handle one late night per week, but can I?
No way! I think any coach or organization asking kids this age to practice that late on a school night needs to have their heads examined. They could find another time.
