Bed Times for a 9 Year Old and a 12 Year Old

My 13 year old gets in bed at 9:30 and it is lights out at 10:00. She's a night owl and has problems falling asleep, but if she stays up much later she is impossible to wake up the next morning for school. My 10 year old wakes up on his own around 6:30 so his bedtime is 8:30. On weekends we're not really strict with is but it's usually around Midnight for the older one and 10:00ish for the younger one. He's into a ton of sports so he needs to go to sleep earlier.

My 10 year old goes to bed around 9-9:30 on weeknights and my 14 year old about 9:30-10:00. They are allowed to go to bed later on weekends, after 10, sometimes up to 11 or 11:30, but they sleep in on weekends. My older one, sometimes until 10:00. Weeknights are important to get to bed early, no later than 9:30, because it affects school work.

Hi J.-

Most kids these days do not get enough sleep. I checked webmd and according to that source children age 7-12 need 10 - 11 hours per day and 12-18 year olds need 8-9 hours a day. Based on this I'd say your children are already not getting enough sleep on school nights even if they fall asleep immediately at 9:30.

My son will be 8 in April and he goes to bed at 8:00 and is usually fast asleep by 8:30.
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children

Good luck,
K.

WOW... that is late! OK, mind you, my kids are 8 and 5, so in effect a "generation" younger than yours, but bedtime for both is 7:30, and on weekends, they can stay up until 8:30 or so. On occasion, we will take them to see a community theater show or sports event, but they never make it past intermission (or half time!). We live in an area where some kids stay up late on the weekends, but I have found that life is so much more peaceful and happy when the bedtime remains consistent.

My 14 year old is 10:00 on weeknights, 10:30 on weekends. My 10 year old is 9:00 on weeknights and 9:30 on weekends. They both get up at 6:30. They have those times because that is what they need. You know your kids. A routine is more important than the hours, really. I used to fight with my mom all the time. She insisted that I get 10ish hours of sleep, there was no way i could sleep for 10 hours. I would toss and turn for hours and feel crappy. I am 40 and I sleep 6 hours TOPS. That is my body, that is what I need.

Check in with the boys. If they want to stay up because they are watching TV or playing Wii or something, no they cna't stay up, but if they are truly not falling asleep for an hour or more after they go to bed, then maybe you need to look at the time. My 14 year old often goes to bed at 9:30 and reads until 10. We have a "no tv/computer/game" rule after 9 PM. She decides what she needs to do (sometimes it's homework, reading or her knitting or cross stitch.)

Work with the kids, trust them to be a part of their own decisions. It will help to empower them later in life.

B.
Family Success Coach

You are doing fine good luck adano hills raised 4and now have 99999 grandchildren

for active boys the times seem appropriate. You need to be the mom and decide but you could consider how much sleep their bodies tell them they need. do they get up fine in the morning? Do they want to sleep half the day on Sat? I have 13 & 16 year old girls and they go to bed by 9:30 and 10:00 waking at about 6:00. Maybe you can give them one night during the week later as long as they show themselves to be responsible with the waking time in the morning.

Kids at this age should be getting at least 9-10 hrs of sleep, so just go by that! :)

We did 9pm at about age 9, 9:30 at about 12. He's now 14 and we're up to 10pm in bed, 10:30 lights out. This is what we do, but I don't think he gets enough sleep -- he sometimes has a hard time getting up for school and often sleeps till 11 or later on weekends (we don't adjust weekend bedtimes unless there's a special event -- it's better and easier on your body to keep a consistent schedule).
I think you know if they are getting enough sleep by how easily they wake in the morning and if they sleep in on weekends. If a person gets enough sleep, they wouldn't need an alarm clock (but how many people can meet that criteria!?!)

No, your not being too strict. Children need rules and guidelines.

Are your children fully rested? Do they have any trouble getting up in the morning? If they're getting enough sleep, than you may want to consider changing bed time to a half hour later.

My 13 year old goes to bed at 9:00 week days and is up by 6:45. My 14 year old goes to her room at 9:00, and is usually asleep by 9:30, and gets up at 6:30.

Just becasue they are awake early doesn't mean they have to be running around. My mom did some relly cool bed time deals with my sister and I. OUr bedtime was 8 until we were in high school. But we were allowed to stay up and hour later in our room reading or some other quiet mellow activity. I always chose reading in bed.
I offer the same deal to my 12 yr old son and he choses to just go to sleep. He also wakes up very early but I am a firm believer in adult time. My boyfriend and I need time around the house to clean up or just watch an R rated movie.

under 10 yrs old they still need at least 10 to 12 hours of sleep every night. From age 11 - 14 they need 9 to 11 and then from age 15 and up it goes down to 9ish a night.
My kids are 10 1/2 and 7 and they go to bed at 7:30 and are up around 6:30. Weekends don't change, the child should not have to be woken up, and should not be crabby at all or you know they aren't really having enough sleep. By having them alter their waking and sleeping times for weekends they don't achieve optimal sleep benefits of better health, better memory and better language skills. Studies have proven my numbers.

In my house, we don't have a set "bedtime". They have to be in their rooms at a certain time, but the deal is that they have to be in their rooms, not that they have to go to sleep. They have no TV or computers in their rooms,(and they don't have cell phones) so they can read or play quietly and then shut out the light and go to sleep whenever they are tired.

I've always based my children's sleep schedule based on how much sleep they're getting overall. For children ages 5-12, the National Sleep Foundation says they need 10-11 hours of sleep each day (http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/sleep-topics/child.... Plus, there is so much evidence about the importance of sleep for children. The most recent article I read regarding this science talks about how sleep affects intelligence, weight and health, creativity and more (http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/half_full/). My 8.5-year-old still goes to bed at 8 pm and wakes at 6:30 am. We just pulled my 5.5-year-old's bed time to 7:30 pm and we still have to wake her up at 6:30 am. I personally go to bed at 9 or 10 pm and wake at 5 or 6 am. Anything less than 8 hours sleep makes me drag and I found consistency is the key to my personal health. The bottom line, however, is I base the bedtime on the total number of hours my kids are getting.

Base it on your children's behavior. Do they have a difficult time waking up in the morning? Are they grouchy if they go to bed later? Teens actually need more sleep than they did when they were a bit younger (your kids ages?)...

My 11 1/2 yr old son is worthless if he doesn't get close to 9 hours of sleep. My daughter recovers better. But she is 8. They stay up until 10:30 or so on weekends sometimes.. but only for a reason(involved in a movie.. a sleepover, etc). They normally are in bed by 9:30.

Nope not strict, just a mom who knows best for her children. If you look at the research, kids need at least 8-10 hours during this age range and little bit more once they're in their teen years. Their bodies need this just to stay healthy.

Of course, they think now that they're a little bit older, they don't need as much sleep but for them to perform at school everyday, they need their rest. Especially since after school they have activities. They need that amount of sleep so they can work/play at top performance.

On the weekends you can be a little lax but once your body is used to a specific bedtime, you tend to get tired around that time anyway. You may push through and ignore the signals but you're tired.

I would probably let midnight slide on a Friday but personally, if me and my family are not doing on Saturday that has us up late, I try to stick with the same bedtimes. That's so we'll be rested and not so tired Sunday morning and because I think it's rude to sleep in church which I see alot of teens doing. But that's just my opinion.

oh no you are not overly strict at all. they still need a great deal of sleep. i think that its a perfect bed time for durring the week. i also think that the weekend bed time is more then generous.

Your're not too strict. I have a 9yr girl and 11 year old boy and we just moved bedtime to 9pm because of sport practices and church during the week. Before bedtime, they retire to their rooms and have quiet time 30 minutes before lights out at 9p to relax themselves without electronics...tv, computer, or videogames. They have them in their rooms but respects "quiet time rules". This also allows for a little of individual time for me to have with each of them to recap their day personally. Especially since they are coming into pre-teen and teen years and we need to have an open line of communication. Friday night is their late night...11p with lights out by midnight. Sat.is 10p lights out because Sunday school is @ 9:15a. But when they are bickering with eachother all bets are off on the weekend and bedtime reverts to 9pm! :)

Hello J.,

Night Routine... Showers, making lunches and setting out clothes for school start at 7:00pm
This includes wrapping up homework and washing dinner dishes....
My 10-year old goes to bed at 8:00pm and reads until 8:30pm.
My 12-year old goes to bed at 9pm and reads until 9:30pm.

Weekends? I allow them both to stay up until 9:30pm or 10pm depending on their good grades on tests during the week. Also, it allows them to pick a movie or play a favorite game with family. Videos are only allowed on weekends and only for 2 hrs max for Sat and Sun. They have learned to choose their time wisely.

Good luck,
M.

My children went to bed at 7:30 then a story or reading, until about 12 years or so then they stayed up longer but still by 9:00 in bed to read or be read to. Sleep before midnight is very important for the immune system and all organ function. It is the growing and healing time. Even now with a teen and a grown child of mine they are urged to be in bed by ten to get the healing and rest they need in still growing years.

Children need 10-12 hours of sleep a night. As a teacher, I've done research on this and also teach it to my own students. It's vital that they get PLENTY of rest since their bodies are working so hard (growing, learning, playing, etc.). It is really hard now days with clubs and sports going so late, many children aren't able to get the required amount of rest their body needs. Good luck!

Hi J. in our house we had bed time routines even at that age. we we would go in with the kids the boys, at 8:30 do prayer time hugs goodnight, and they got up at 6:30 for school, that time worked for us, Junior high was 9 PM high school we left it with in reason to their judgement. they were old and mature enough to know when they were tired, and to adjust it themelves if they had trouble getting up. bed time rules are not strict, they are important to the health and welbeing for our children. J.

I would say that the 12 yr old should go a little later than the 9 yr old (there has to be some perks to be the eldest). I don't have kids that age yet so I would say 9.15 for the youngest and 9.30 for the eldest. As for the weekends I personally think midnight sounds a bit late , I was thinking more around 10.30....lol my kids will probably think I'm mean for sending them to bed at those times!!!